Bhaveen Sheth the writer of this blog writes on married Indian men who suffer from emotional abuse at the hands of their wives. I try to state the facts on emotional abuse faced by many Indian husbands to such an extent that many have been forced to commit suicide.
Not one day goes by when you don't get to hear or read on cases of domestic violence against Indian women in newspapers, internet or the social media. The feminist media has tried its best that any such cases whether real or fake are highlighted and given all kinds of publicity.
It is always the married Indian women who are physically abused, harassed, ill treated, beaten,battered, thrown out of the house. The media loves to make martyrs out of such Indian wives, not to say that they want to increase their own TRP ratings. No one focuses on emotionally abused Indian husbands. Their condition is at best forgotten.
I write on this topic as I feel that many Indian husbands are being emotionally and mentally harassed in India.A majority of such men choose to remain silent. They do not discuss their problems with anyone. As the years go by, abuse becomes more toxic.
Life has never been easy to men in India. Marriage is a ceremony that all Indian men want to undergo. They want the tangible and intangible benefits offered within the institution of marriage. Unfortunately real life is not a dream world, it is not some Yash Chopra movie where there is always a happy ending.
Many Indian women are smart and manipulative. They are aware of the weaknesses that Indian men have.They always want to have an upper hand in the marriage. Marriages in India have been all about mergers and acquisitions where both sides want to get maximum benefit out of the other.
One common observation about emotionally abused Indian husbands is that their wives are stronger and more confident than them. It is the wife who takes all the decisions and it she who will call the shots. Another observation is that these wives are good looking and well groomed while the husbands are average or below average lookers.
So why do you have beautiful Hourie looking women getting married to an average Joe? The answer is simple! The guy is loaded . He comes from a decent family, has good educational qualifications ( you know the IIT-IIM passout, B-School pass out, software engineer, doctor, investment banker). He draws a good salary. All this is enough for a beautiful woman to marry him even if he is a dork.
Many such abused Indian husbands suffer from an inherent inferiority complex. They are men who are not confident, they suffer from a low self esteem, they have never discovered themselves, they never had any girlfriend before getting married, they never went out on a date. These men were bought up under a strict patriarchal father and extremely loving and caring mother. Such men always seek validation , especially from women.They are emotionally dependent on their mothers and subsequently in the later years of their lives, their wives. It is this weakness that is exploited by the wife.
During the initial years of the marriage men may not notice emotional abuse but over the years the verbal abuse, taunts,criticism and sometimes physical abuse increases. These manipulative wives make their husbands so dependent on them that they end up seeking validation from their wives for each and every thing.
In the later stages things gets very bad.These wives want it all. They want to rule the house.The husband will naturally give in.Many such husbands are happy to play the role of a second fiddle.
And then the abuse becomes toxic.The husbands often get compared with other men who have been more successful than them. These manipulative wives openly insult and humiliate their husbands by stating that they have not been able to achieve anything when compared to other men.
Emotional tantrums are often thrown by the wives as they want to have what they want.There are times when the husbands are openly insulted in public by their wives. They are rebuked and taunted in front of others and the wives openly laugh at them.
And if that was not enough, these wives use threats to get what they want. They threaten on walking out of the marriage, they threaten of divorce , of filling all kinds of false cases against their husbands. Some women go to a further extent. They put their words in action.One of the most powerful instruments that such manipulative women use is the SILENT TREATMENT. They stop acknowledging the presence of their husbands. They stop avoiding their husbands till the time they come and apologize and meet their demands of their wives.
Another weapon used is the absolute denial of sex or any kind of physical contact knowing how desperate men are for sex.The poor husbands are forced to live the life of a married celibate.
Children and in-laws are further manipulated. These women play the victim card who is always neglected and abused.WOW!! Talk on women's empowerment and you have it.
And of course there are these evil wives who will put their evil thought in action. They will flirt with other men in front of their husbands, knowing how their husbands will burn from inside. Some will even have affairs with other men to put their husbands down. After all it is all about MY CHOICE.
Abuse extends to the level of the financial arena. These wives take full control of their husbands salary while the poor husbands survive on peanuts. These wives end up splurging the hard earned money of their husbands on all kinds of materialistic pursuits.
This is just the tip of the iceberg of the abuse faced by Indian husbands and I hope after reading this blog post more Indian husbands will share their stories.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise o be back with a lot more
BHAVEEN SHETH
