Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM:Are you marriage material???? Are you ready to take up the responsibility of Marriage???

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male:

How do I begin and what do I say. This something difficult to ask the average Indian man and of course to the above average and below average Indian male.

Strange are the ways of life and even stranger are the ways of the Indian Society. But before we embark on the Journey of this discussion and sharing my Gyaan (Knowledge), i would like to explain what does "Marriage Material" mean.

Marriage Material means that you posses the qualities of being eligible for marriage, that you are physically, mentally, socially and psychologically prepared to get married and take responsibilities. You put your family above everything, your spouse has to become the most important person in your life, you make sacrifices to make your marriage work.

And so I ask this question once again to the single Indian Male, are you ready to take the responsibility to get married????

Majority of the males in India get married because they are hungry, hungry for a woman's flesh and hungry for sex, being perpetual losers, the Indian males never make any girlfriends or get to sleep with someone before getting married. All are just waiting to tie the nuptial knot because they want to get laid, of course not to mention the social pressures put up by the family and the near and dear relatives on the Single Indian male.

Whatever the reasons may be, the single Indian male never asks himself this basic question, this one important question that can either bring happiness or spell doom in his life.

Indian Society is obsessed with marriage, it just wants every single person to get married whether he is ready or not.

When it comes to your career, please ask yourself, are you happy with it. Do you feel that it is time to change your present Organization or even your field of work??? Do you feel that it is time you completed an advanced management or certification course, and if your answer is yes then please wait and don't get married.Married life is a bliss or it is made to look like one, you see such visualizations of Television,in magazines, newspapers and on the social Internet media. But in reality it is no honeymoon. Post marriage  one has to take up additional responsibilities.How are you going to get your advance education after getting married?? And if you happen to change your line of work, you are going to start afresh in your new found profession. How are your going to manage your household expenses if your salary is not up to the mark.

So now ask your self: :Are you marriage material???? Are you ready to take up the responsibility of Marriage???

The second point that one needs to assess is the Psychological aspect. Are you mentally prepared?? Please don't go by what your parents or relatives have to say. Ask yourself!!!!! Can you adjust with someone, have you found that friend for life, do you relate to the person whom you are going to get married to????? Do you have temperamental issue?? Are you carrying emotional baggage from your painful past?? have you made peace with yourself??? Are your psychologically disturbed?? And if some of the above questions apply to you , then please ring the caution alarm. Marriage is not going to bring peace in your life. You need to resolve problems by going to a psychologist or a psychotherapist. 

Lot of Indian men still have psychological or personality problems, something that parents fail to acknowledge. Many Indian parents feel that seeking psychological help will label their son to be mental.

Other than the above mentioned reasons, there are a plenty. What about financial viability, what about savings and investments. Do you have enough money??? 

What about compatibility quotient?? Are you able to relate to that would be spouse of yours beyond her fair skin, looks and body figure. Do you enjoy her companionship. Are you just getting married to make your parents happy???Or is it because all friends in your social circle or peers at your workplace are married and you are the odd one amongst them??? Are you desperate and are getting married just to find acceptance in the Social Circle.

Oh my god!!!! And god save you if you are thinking on getting married just because of the above reasons. Marriage is not about making someone else happy or about following the norms of the Indian Society. At the end , it is all about you, your life and happiness.

Many Indian men marry in haste and then repent in leisure.This gives birth to a dysfunctional family, an acrimonious relationship and a troubled life.

The last question that i would like to put forward: "HAVE YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE"????. Yes my dear friend, have you really lived your life or are you living your life. Do you have a checklist of things to do in your life and you have not been able to do it??? Then please go an live your life and forget this dream of getting married.

So now go and ask your self : Are you marriage material???? Are you ready to take up the responsibility of Marriage???

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with some more.

Bhaveen Sheth

Evelyn Sharma’

Evelyn Sharma’