Words of wisdom from a 46 year old single Indian Male

My dear Single Indian Male friends,

There are times when we would like to look up to some seniors or must I say veterans in the league of the single Indian men. However there seem to be none. Looks like the Indian society has made  a decision to hunt down the last single Indian  male and get him married.

However browsing through google for some sensible advice from a middle aged single Indian man, I came upon the following article:

46, Male, Single. And no less fraught

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/46-male-single-and-no-less-fraught/article5929262.ece

Here is a person in his forty's telling us on how the Indian society treats him. It does not respect his privacy and often taunts him on his single status.

Some of the statements form his article:

They seem to suggest: get married and all your problems will vanish. Do they mean to say married people have no problems? Aha! They do, they do. But problems of the married are somehow more fashionable and more respectable than the problems of single people. Still a bachelor at forty-six, I now realise that my choice to remain single was as smart a move a man chased by a yelping puppy can make by jumping to safety into a pit full of scorpions and cockroaches. (Don’t ask me how they, the stingers and the ticklers, live together. In such a pit, they do!)

Bhaveen Sheth:DOTSIM: Single, Partly due to Destiny, Partly by compulsion and partly by choice

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male:

Today the Single Indian Male Bhaveen Sheth writes the reasons on why he is still single:

Destiny, compulsion and choice!!!! Three words , when they meet an intersection, they define my single status.

I have time and again mentioned in my previous blogs, that I am an Orphan, having lost my parents at an early age and of course having no one to stand by my side , i have worked my way to my present professional level.

The self made man in often looked upon with respect and honour, this may apply to other countries and societies. In India and the Indian society the self made man has never got his due. Above everything Family background determines your core identity and not you an an individual self.

In a society that prizes eligible bachelors and suitable boys as potential suitors for marriage, i happen to be left as an outcast. Not that I am a looser of some sort. I have a masters degree, a decent and a respectable job, i earn a good salary, have got enough savings, my future career prospects are bright, a property matter is in litigation and soon i may inherit it. But as I have no family and at present I am living like a homeless destitute in a boys hostel, i am not considered to be marriageable material.

The Society does not accept me, even though it accepts accused rapists and murderers who have serious criminal charges pending against them in the court of law and yet they get married. Sometimes it makes me laugh at the double standards of the Indian Society.

People of my category cannot love or marry someone because we have no family background. 

Strong compulsions from the Indian  Society has forced me to make a parallel. existence for my own self away from the society. And tell you what I have no problems with that. 

Among the eligible, i am the ineligible , among the suitable i am the unsuitable, among the desired i am the undesirable, among the accepted , i am the unaccepted.

The last reason for being single is choice, this has taken importance in the later years of my life , late 20's and early 30's. It is then that wisdom dawned upon me and i realized that I was better of staying single.

Traveling to different parts of India, moving to different organizations, i met a broad spectrum of people and had an open view of their lives.Majority were married and believe me , their life was a living hell. However , they faked it, they faked that they had a happy married life, they faked that they were content with their lives, they faked that they were satisfied with their jobs.

If an Olympics were to be held in Faking happiness, Indians would get all the prizes.

Truth was that they were living a miserable life, married to wrong spouses, everyday fighting and screaming, frustrated with life, frustrated with jobs, no satisfaction in life, no sex life, no creativity, a life devoid of excitement , a life lived merely by protocols,routines and norms. HOW PATHETIC!!!!! 

The truth was and the truth is that majority of the people in the Indian society are merely existing and not living.

I introspected myself and asked was I also going to live a life like my fellow Indians??? A life of misery, pain, hatred, dejection and dissatisfaction??????? I looked up in the Sky and saw a lonely eagle flying, happy and content with life and then i looked at the creatures on the ground and i mostly saw street dogs. Street dogs live a miserable life and so do my fellow Indians and it is sad that majority Indians have chosen to live this way either to follow the societal norms or to meet someone else s great  expectations.

And so I conclude the closure of this Blog post on why I am single.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the say, will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth