Hello everyone, This is Bhaveen Sheth. My blog pens down thoughts and experiences on myself and life in general living as a Single Indian male in the complicated Indian Society.
It is also for all the like minded Single Indian Males who want to find a meaning in their lives.This blog will address problems pertaining to the single Indian men, their hopes, aspirations, dreams, difficulties, problems etc. You can share your experiences living as a single male in India with me.
We are men, we are human and even if we are single, we have paternal feelings. As humans we yearn for for children. There are times when we feel if we had our own little children with whom we could play with and have fun. Unfortunately we don't have our children.
Narrating my own experience now that I have been a veteran single Indian man having led a solitary life, I love small children. There is something about them, their childishness, innocent smile, naughty laughter, little mischief and playful nature. Children are so pure, they are not affected by the toxicity of the outside world. Just 10 minutes of time spent with children and I forget all my problems. Currently I am very much attached to my niece, nephew and my best friend's son. I always look forward to spend some time with them and feel so happy about it. In public places, I come across small children and take an opportunity to put my hand over their heads in order to bless them.
I may not be a parent but love to be that friendly uncle to all children. I have this dream to mentor small children especially those who belong to the underprivileged section. Maybe their blessing and goodwill will go a long way in having a happy life.
A big shout out to all those Men's Rights Activists across India and abroad who have worked tirelessly on men's issues and highlighted the condition of Indian men. As a single Indian man and now a confirmed bachelor, I would like to thank these men for spreading awareness and highlighting gender biased laws.
Because of them we the single Indian men had a first hand experience as a spectator to observe, watch and read acrimonious matrimonial disputes, biased judgements against men by our judiciary, abuse by the police, painful separations, parental alienation, suicides of men due to matrimonial problems, reverse dowry. All this clearly depicted that marriage was not certainly not made in heaven.
Two documentaries were made. One was Martyrs of Marriage that came out in 2017 focusing of the gross and rampant misuse of section 498 A Dowry Prohibition act. The second documentary was released in 2022 that showed how a criminal nexus was trapping men and falsely accusing them in rape charges just to extort money or how men were falsely accused when live in relationship went sour. I am sharing the links of these documentaries below so that you can watch them.
The awareness made many single Indian men including myself to reevaluate and introspect the decision to get married. Wisdom dawned upon us and we got into reading books by Rollo Tomasi and becoming red pilled. Many men decided to go solo and live a bachelor's lifestyle. We also realized that marriage was not the answer to your problems, it is okay if you don't have a soul mate and have to battle it all alone in your life. All this happened due to the awareness created by the Men's Rights Activist.
From my heart, a big thank you to all you fellows. You have saved the lives of thousand of young innocent men. Wish you all the best and keep doing the good work.
I have been following the men's rights movement for a decade. There are numerous pages on men's rights, aggrieved husbands and groups on biased matrimonial laws. I also follow different profiles on twitter that share thoughts on men's rights. Then there are prominent men's rights activist who share news related to the pathetic condition of men, be it wrongful accusation of dowry and domestic violence, maintenance and alimony judgements, killing of innocent men and a lot more. Every weekend there are meetings conducted by Men's Rights Activists in all major cities of India to discuss their problems and cases. Rallies are held at Jantar Mantar in Delhi to spread awareness on the biased laws and how they are destroying the family structure.
All these people have a hope that one day the laws will be amended in favour of men and they will stop suffering. I wish that could happen but reality is far different. Once the laws are passed by our parliament there is no space for them to be revoked. The laws empower our judiciary and police to enforce their own power on the common innocent people. The family and matrimonial laws are a source of bread and butter for the lower rank police officials (constable, sub-inspector, inspector), judges, lawyers and women's commissions/NGO's. It is also a source of their employment. Police and lawyers love domestic and matrimonial feuds as it is a source of an income. Lawyers make a fool of the clients and prolong the cases in order to earn more money. The Women's commission and NGO's take funding from the government and corporate in the name of helping female victims.
The laws were made to bring justice to women who actually faced violence in their marriages. Unfortunately even today these laws are not of much help to the actual victims, those women who live in small towns and villages face violence daily and yet there is no recourse for them. The laws have been misused wrongly by a section just to settle scores.
But will anything change? Will the laws be revoked? I don't think so. I am not being a pessimist. Having clearly stated that these laws have given rise to a parallel industry known an Marriage Breakup. I can't speak on its market valuation but I am sure it must be in crores. Everyone earns their share, the police, lawyers, judges, women's commissions/NGO's.
I don't have much hope. Nothing is going to change. Hence it is better to follow your own path and remain single. Accept life as it is and explore new things.
A tragic incident that took place last month in the national capital made me angry. Some young men threw acid on a young school going girl just because she had rejected the love proposal of one the men.
Indian men have a problem of taking crushes on the opposite gender seriously and fantasizing about one sided love. They can't take a no for an answer or handle rejection. What is wrong with our men these days. It is human to like someone but you can't expect the other person to like you as well. While this behaviour is found all across India, the attacks by jilted lovers on females predominantly is seen in North India where there is deep feudal and patriarchal mindset. But then this is not only in the case of young boys only. I have read cases wherein men could not handle matrimonial rejections and turned violent, then there are cases where men sitting in high position , be it politics, government or corporations take a liking for young girl and do all things possible to woo her. If she rejects these advances the men turn vengeful and do everything in their powers to harm the women.
Indian men need to stop taking Bollywood movies, web series and those insts-youtube reels seriously. Love is mutual and not one sided. Getting rejected is part and parcel of life. There is nothing to get offended about it or take is personally. These days young Indian men are under peer pressure that they must have a girlfriend just to conform and look cool. I would like to put some sense in the heads of these men that there is more to do with your life than just have a girlfriend.
If you happen to be a young male reader, please note that life is filled with a lot of challenges ahead. Go work on yourself, read, up skill, work on your fitness,travel, make more friends, socialize. Chasing females is not going to help you, not having a girlfriend does not make you a failure. For those who are in their 30's an 40's, just because you are in a powerful position does not mean that you can throw your weight around on young women and charm them. Mind you, just one complaint by the woman and you are done, the police and courts will not listen to your so called true love, crush story.
Focus on yourself. Just thought of spreading awareness and educating distraught men and jilted lovers.
My dear friends, I hope this post finds you in good health. I would like to wish a very happy new year 2023 to all you guys. I hope you have enjoyed the 31st night.
Finally the pandemic has come to an end. We can look forward for some good times. However the news on the surge in the pandemic coming from China is daunting. Let us pray and hope that India is not affected.
For all the single men life will go as usual. I hope you will continue to remain single and not get hitched. Some of you fellows may find the right life partner and get married. Please go ahead as single life is not for everyone.
Let us see what 2023 brings for us. A major decision related to the right of consent in a marriage will be heard by our supreme court this year. This is one decision that will have a major effect on the marriage system in India. I am not bothered as I am still not married.
Over the course of time I have decided to stop advising young vulnerable gullible single Indian men. Truth be told, they will do what they want and knowingly make their lives difficult.
Across India a new racket of online sextrortion and false rape cases have sprung up. The targets are young vulnerable single Indian men desperate for companionship. Adding to this we already had gangs running fake marriage scams wherein another section of Indian men desperate for marriage are cheated. In spite of all cautionary tales, men knowingly fall victims.
For those of us who are veterans at being single we know that our journey has to go on. With advancing age we will be facing different challenges of being single. There is a need of creating a group for 35 plus single Indian men where in we can share our problems, challenges and the joys of being single. I myself have crossed 40 but don't feel like the same as there is no one to remind me of my age.
I have started valuing mental peace, it is a prize many don't have. It comes with being single and alone. I just can't handle the drama that comes with marriage. Some of us need to realize that we are not made for marriage and accept the same happily or stoically.
I have also realized that you just can't expect everyone to give you company. Your siblings have their own families to take care of and the same applies for your male buddies. You must learn to handle loneliness by yourself.
I also want to counsel all single Indian men to take the habit of reading seriously. With easy availability of books online and tabs/kindle reader, it is one of the most engaging activities to beat loneliness. Read both fiction and non fiction so that you can wide your perspective. Adding to this one already has easy access to OTT streaming apps wherein you get to watch the best of the movies, web series and documentaries.
I don't need to emphasize on physical and mental health. Time and again I keep telling single men to work on the same. This year take up a resolution to do away with bad habits or addictions. This includes avoiding junk food, smoking and alcohol. Keep toxic and negative people away from your life and this includes your relatives who have no other business other than taunting and criticizing you for remaining single. Make good friends, find mentors, take wise counsel and move ahead in life.
For anyone who wishes to contact me personally. Please find my email address below:
Many of you readers who are following this blog visiting it regularly would be thinking that why as a veteran MGTOW and single Indian man has his profile active on shaadi.com. I can understand. As a veteran MGTOW and as a man who has now addicted to his solitude, marriage may not be possible.
However whenever I meet people, I am asked why I am single? To the majority I clearly state the gender biased laws and rising levels of gynocentrism and feminazism. However those who are close to me are clearly told that I am an adult orphan having no family of my own. My best friends are my family.
For over last 10 years I have been told that some decent family will always like me or a good hearted girl will choose me. After all it is the person that matters. However I know the reality. In our nation and society orphans have a difficult life ahead. Their lives are lonely and struggles are difficult.
In 2015, I had deleted my profile on matrimonial sites, however in 2016, on the insistence of a friend, I reactivated my profile. This time it was purely experimental as I wanted to witness the stark realities and dubious standards of the society.
And my assumption turned into reality. People saw my profile repeatedly and did not express interests, those who did, wanted a bio-data and some reference from my blood relatives, this in spite of writing that I don't have a family. The so called modern single independent woman or those who claimed to be that stated that she would discuss with her own family and she expressed apprehension. Some parents and sibling considered me as the Hobson's choice/last alternative where they could just dump their daughter/sister on me in order to fulfill their responsibility. I could understand their reasons, a daughter/sister will limited prospects to get married, normal families not accepting her alliance, finding some simple beta male who would just marry and keep the daughter with no questions asked, escaping from the taunts, jibes and criticism of having an aged unmarried daughter still sitting at home.
Even as I write this post, my profile is repeatedly visited, sometimes interests are expressed and nothing moves ahead. Of course it does not affect me at all. Marriage is not on my priority list. But I wanted to closely observe the society. Profile views and invitations are an experience. It confirms my assumptions about the bias, prejudice and double standards that people carry. It also shows the massive high standards and uncompromising beliefs that people have.
I am not here to criticize or pass judgement on anyone. Unfortunately people don't stop judging or having a poor thinking for orphans or people who don't have parents. Even at the age of 40, I am treated like a naive 25 year old boy. In India, people are not used to see men standing up for themselves, taking major life responsibilities and being independent. Time and again I hear this common statement "Beta (son), We need to talk to some elder in you family"? How can you take such an important decision all by yourself? Years back I would give an explanation. These days, I just hang up and delete and block their profiles. With age, I don't have the energy to engage in bullshit with toxic and judgmental people. And mind you these are people who have a 35 year old unmarried daughter and yet treat me like some low class servant. These experiences have shown me the miserable treatment that orphans go through just because they don't have parents or a family. Insults, humiliations and bad treatment.
But then I don't care. I have very well accepted my fate and destiny and intend to move forward. I have kept my profile active just to see some stark realities and share my experience with fellow single Indian men and MGTOWs.
Greetings my friends and wishing you all a very happy Diwali. I hope you guys enjoyed. As a veteran MGTOW, I also celebrated Diwali in my own way. Got up, prayed, read and watched some documentaries and again prepared for the evening. Did a small Pooja, lit up diyas and then collected all the fire crackers that I had got and went to terrace. I was bursting fire crackers after a long time.Don't recollect when was the last time I did it. I felt nostalgic, childhood memories flashed in front of me. But then who cares, life has to be lived. As a MGTOW i celebrated the festival all by myself. Photographs are depicted below:
I have come to realize that a lot of Indian men are not fit for marriage or capable to handle a married life that comes with family responsibilities.
Over the last three years I have been observing a trend on Linkedin where many men are writing distress messages. Most of the messages are like this:
"I have some xyz many years of experience. I am desperately looking for a job since last six months, 1 year. I don't have money to pay for my groceries, I can't pay money for my children's school fees. I have home loans and car loans to pay. I am extremely distressed. Please help me.
Being in Human Resources, I can understand what happens to men who don't have jobs, especially those who are married and have children. No one should ever be put in such a difficult situation.
But then I rationalize and have a reality check just to realize that many men are just mediocre in their fields/specializations. They have never up skilled or upgraded themselves. They never realized the changing dynamics of the job market, they did not introspect their shortcomings. Taking their jobs for granted, they tried to fulfill their dreams on credit and loans without realizing that one day their world would come crashing.
Today just having a job and earning a salary is not enough. Today the requirements are not just Roti, Kapda and Makaan but it is quality, style, brand and status. You are required to have that 2 BHK Flat, a mid segment car, children who will be sent to good schools, tutions, online tutorial programs, weekend dine outs, annual vacations, lavish social functions. And mind you this is the upper middle class that I am talking about.Most of the distress messages on Linkedin are from people who are upper middle class.
Yes , we are facing recessions and inflation, yes, we had two bad years of the COVID-Pandemic, yes, there were job cuts, pink slips served and what not. But still, there is a saying "Survival of the Fittest". The competent survive and thrive , the incompetent and mediocre perish.
In India, when a man gets a job and starts earning a decent salary, the family members start looking out for a bride. The man does not protest as he is deluded by the prospect of marriage and that wonderful beautiful wife. I wish these men had just waited for some years in understanding themselves, their skills, the job market and its requirements. A single man always has a chance to change specializations, switch organizations and migrate to different cities. He has the freedom to take decisions which a married man cannot. In many ways marriage does bring in mediocrity and complacency in life of men.
When I see distressed married Indian men who are jobless, I realize that a huge percentage of Indian men are not fit for marriage and if you are a single Indian man reading this post, let me tell you that marriage will soon become a luxury that only the rich can afford.(I will be writing a post on this). If you truly want a content, quality and happy life, then remain single and be happy.
As a single Indian man having lived alone for the last 22 years of my life, I often get asked on how do I come back to an empty house with no one to greet me. How do I manage to live in a house all on my own? To this, I answer that it is better to come back to an empty house rather than have an emotionally abusive, toxic and nagging wife in the house who just treats you like a doormat.
Emotional abuse of married Indian men is a topic that is hardly ever discussed. A lot of married Indian men put up with emotional and physical abuse at the hands of their wives for the sake of their children and society. No married Indian man will ever confess that he is facing emotional abuse and violence due to family reputation and shame. The recent case of Hollywood actor Johnny Depp and Amber Heard highlights the topic of husband's emotional abuse.
I am often asked why I still don't try to get married? At least give it a chance! I just listen and get on with I am doing not bothering at the opinion of people. At this age, solitude and mental peace is all that I want. Solo life and loneliness has made me realize the importance of emotional health. How peaceful is to just be your own self and not having to live up to the standards of the society.
I often tell post 30 single Indian men looking for marriage or even the ones in their mid and late 20s to introspect their decision on getting married. I am certainly not against marriage but i advise Indian men to strongly evaluate and analyze their choice of a life partner. It is easy to be blinded and influenced by beauty, looks, fair skin and a good figure. Many Indian men do not see the red flags or rather are not made to see the same considering the fact that in arranged marriages, the women put up their best behaviour.
I have written a write up on emotionally abused husbands in my blog.You may please read the same in order to get a better perspective.
Our society has rapidly changed in the last 2 decades. Barring the super rich high class, the responsibility of being a provider, protector and caregiver lies with the Indian man. He is indoctrinated with this philosophy since his childhood. Thirty years ago just having a job and bringing salary was the only expectation from the man. Today he is supposed to buy a minimum 2 BHK, a mid segment car, have an annual package of seven figure salary. All this because of comparison and false glorification on social media. Today's new age women expect all the previously mentioned things from a potential spouse as if it were their constitutional right. Now what happens when the expectations of the woman keeps growing even after marriage and the man in spite of all his efforts is not able to live up to her so called dreams and expectations? The answer is comparing with other successful men, nagging, taunts, jibes and emotional abuse.
The last decade has has strongly influenced women, thanks to the easy access to internet and social media. More and more women are having an extreme sense of entitlement and have turned into woke, leftist liberal pseudo feminists. They want all amenities and facilities without really working hard for it. False feminist narratives written by leftist liberals have brainwashed them into thinking that they are a special and a privileged lot. Many of them are not even rooted to their own culture or religion. The current eco-system especially the one seen on social media only focuses on looks, beauty and fan following. Hence it is not a surprise to see young women making dancing and lip syncing videos on social media just to gain validation and increase followers. Some of them are posting enticing digitally edited photographs in order to gain popularity on social media. Now these girls lack basic life skills including cooking,housekeeping and laundry. For them everything happens at a click of a button through the various apps (zomato, swiggy, big basket). Some are so over pampered by their parents that they can't face the realities of the outside world while others who belong to separated homes develop an intense hatred for their fathers. Some of them are so emotionally messed up that they require psychiatric counselling. Please read this paragraph carefully to get a real insight into what can ruin your life if you oversee the red flags.
When these women reach a marriagable age, their parents look for a suitable match. When presented through online matrimonial apps or family arranged meetings, the men are easily charmed by beauty and looks. Something that should be obnoxious is easily liked by men and found acceptable. Six months into marriage the true colours of the woman come out and then starts the cycle of emotional abuse.
Today even at 40, I am asked told that there are so many 30 plus single women out there and I should give marriage a chance. I have seen and met many of them and let me tell you, that barring a few, many of these women have extremely high standards when it comes to a life partner, some of them are still living is a dream world thinking that their charming prince is going to come for them.Others behave like teenagers even after crossing 30. Many of them are not emotionally capable for marriage. Some just want to get married because they want to move out of their parental homes, tired of constant nagging by parents(for being single after30) and being treated as maid by their brothers and sister in laws. Others just want to gain a marital status as they feel left out considering all their friends have gotmarried. Now tell me what happens when marriage just becomes a compromise or an adjustment?
Single Indian men must understand that not getting married is not the end of your life. If you are taking good care of your parents and financially supporting them, then you are doing your dharma of Lord Ram or Shravan. Times have changed and you have an easy access to all kinds of entertainment or engagement. You can go to coffee shops or bars. You can attend book fairs and film festivals, explore new dine outs in your city, catch with your school and college friends. Finally when you come home, you can catch up on reading, your favorite movies and web-series streaming on different platforms, upskill yourself and a lot more.
Today at 40, I look forward to coming back to my home. A strong black coffee awaits me. There is peace and solitude. I am not nagged or criticized. I refuse to live up to the set expectations of another women who is living in my house without contributing anything substantial. I am no longer willing to confirm to the materialistic standards of our society that just believes in splurging money on expensive homes, cars and parties. Where the hell did the concept of minimalism go?
Hence I end this post by stating that it is better to come back to an empty house than to a toxic, nagging and abusive spouse. I sympathize the younger men who are getting married or in the process of getting married. God only knows what they will go through after six months of getting married.
I like to write down and share my own experiences on the insulting and humiliating matrimonial meetings that I have faced during my 20s and 30s. I was then a young indealistic guy, fresh out in the world after completing my post graduation and starting a new job. Like all men of my age I dreamt of getting married and starting a family of my own.
Little did I know what was in store for me, I used to think that being a self made man would make me looked upon as a respectable person but that was not the case. In our country people judge you based on your family background. It is what defines you as a person. Sadly I did not have any. Being an adult orphan , with no family to represent me, put me in a difficult position.
The parents of potential brides judged me, my integrity, morals, behaviour and character. No one was willing to consider me, I guess they had trust issues. What is your background? Where is the rest of your family? How can we give away our daughter to a man who does not have any family? You must be a fraud? Don't you have anyone from your family to represent you? How is that possible?
What I did not understand is why did these people agree to speak to me or meet me in the first place when I had clearly stated everything about my background?
I also got matrimonial interests from women whom no would marry. I believe they were a Hobson's choice. They were not getting a match from a so called suitable or decent families and they only had me as a choice. I guess in India , orphans have no options.
In my early 30s, I decided to live a single life. By the time I turned 34, the MGTOW movement had come to India and the JIO Internet blitzkring took place in 2016. More and more single Indian men started connecting with each other online and shared the benefits of MGTOW lifestyle. I found joy in taking up the MGTOW lifestyle. My involvement in men's rights activism and subsequent talks with aggrieved men fighting matrimonial disputes/cases made me realize that marriage in India was just a sham.
Today, I am extremely happy at the lifestyle decision I made.I look back over the years and laugh that those meetings, yes they were insulting and humiliating but it was good that marriage never happened. It also made me realize how materialistic people are in the Indian society. While forging an alliance with people , they are only looking for their own long term benefits.
This was my experience and I thought of sharing the same. I will also be writing a post on the humiliations that today's men face during matrimonial meetings.
So what would a Saturday evening look like for a veteran Indian MGTOW aka Single Man. I guess it is all about relaxation ,entertaintment and good food.
I generaly try to catch up some good shows and movies on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Along with this I place an order through Zomato for some good food. Saturday evenings are peaceful filled with fun and entertainment. Single life has its own benefits and I am making the best of it. I just thought of giving a glimpse of my life to fellow single Indian men.
By the time you have reached 40 , you are very much an adult having attained maturity. It is another thing that there are still a large number of Indian men who have still not matured even after crossing 40.
I can confidently that I have transitioned into orphan adulthood. I have become more aware, concious and have attained the required experience to deal with the challenges that comes with living a life as a single man and orphan. Twenty years ago, I was a novice trying to figure out my way in life but that is no longer the case anymore. I have become a veteran, hardended by the difficulties that I have experienced.
One of the most important lessons that I have learnt is to focus on myself without bothering about what others say or do. I have my own life to work on and I am not here to please and appease others.
I have gradually accepted some realities of life that will stay for a long time. Loneliness and solitude is one of them. The second is to take up and face challenges all by myself. No one is going to come to help me. Years of living the life of an orphan has made me realize that no one comes to help people like us, we are just left on our own, forsaken by everyone. A bitter truth I have accepted.
Marriage will remain an impossible dream, just a fantasy that will never a positive outcome. I can be labelled as negative or cynical but I say that I am a pragmatist. All these years of having met these so called suitable alliances for marriage has taught me one thing; Orphans don't have the right to get married, majority of these so called people belonging to respectable families have their status and reputations to protect. Why would they want to marry their daughtes/sisters to orphans. Even at this age women who have crossed 35 and are looking for suitable alliances are not interested in orphans. It amazes me that even at the age of 40, I am not seen as an indivdual adult.
Gradually I am under going the process of dehumanization, that of unbecoming a human being. It has been years that I have felt the touch, embrace and affection of another human being. Even today as an Adult Orphan this is something I miss a lot and dream if such a thing was possible for me. But reality is not a dream world especially for orphans. I wish if people understood the kind of internal turmoil that orphans go through. That feeling of not being human even when you are phsyically a human, the lack of expression of feelings, unable to receive love and affection from another fellow human. The lack of inclusion within the larger society, of having no one to appreciate you on a personal level. Yes it hurts, hurts a lot and I have accepted all this stoically. With whom will I share my grievances? Even god have given up on us.
I ask myself many times "Would I have become a good father or a caring and dutiful husband if I had got married?" This is something difficult to answer. For the last two decades I am totally cut off from a normal family set up. I have missed out on social occasions, festivals, gathering and a lot more that comes with being a normal person who has a complete family. I don't even understand the importance of some social functions. Those initial years of being an orphan were difficult, gradually with the help of my two best mentors, I overcame my grief and moved on in order to chart a career path. However I did miss out on those important years when it comes to personal growth in realtion to family and society. At this point when marriage is ruled out, I will have to continue a solo life. Being a husband and a father is not written in my destiny. I guess that is life and sometimes it is not fair to everyone.
One of the most difficulties of being an adult orphan is always the need to be strong, the need to carry out battles all by yourself, the challenge of facing difficulties all alone. One cannot be weak or vulnerable. You don't have anyone to show your vulnerable side. Over the course of years it becomes a huge burden. The need to constantly be vigilant is not something that normal people go through. I have often seen that the support of a family does play an important role in facing challenges and diffculties that arise in the course of our lives, unfortunately as adult orphans we are on our own and we have to be self-dependent.
Of course, with everything there is always a silver linge. Being an Adult Orphan without a family gives you the freedom to chart the course of your life the way you want. I have no longer to live up to the exepectations of a family or a society. I feel like a free man who is only answerable to himself. Mental peace and a positive emotional health is something that I possess. I am not facing the stress and tension that today's married men (husbands and fathers) face. I have no one to feed or take care of other than myself. Small things and experiences make me happy. I have realized that a minimalistic living can make you content. I no longer compare myself with others as I focus on making a better version of myself every day. Yesterday has gone, today is there and tomorrow is someting I look forward to.
As I finish writing this post, I look forward to many things. I want to rise in my career and be looked upon as a thorough professional who knows his subject, I want to be remembered as a mentor who shaped the careers and lives of may people. On the personal front I want to help as many people as I can, be it orphans or single Indian men in living a happy and content life. I want to explore places in India, read as many books as I can, watch the best of the movies and web series available on popular OTT platforms. I have promised myself that I will never becomes one of those unfit pot bellied uncles in their 40s and 50s that one comes across. I want to be a fit and lean man and be looked with awe and respect. Yes respect. something that all orphans want and are yet denied just because they don;t have parents.
This is my life and I have accepted all the challenges and difficiulties of an Adult Orphan, I have matured and transitioned myself into an veteran who has been hardended by experience.
Today I have turned 40. Completed another decade and stepped into my 40s. I am happily single and marked myself safe from marriage. Over all these years I have had different experiences and have encountered many people.These experiences have shaped me as a person. Based on this I would like to write a few points below:
1. Relationships are trasnsactional. Barring a few people I have realized that most relationships are about give and take. People will associate with you when they need something, you will be called if someone wants help. Otherwise people don't want form a deep connect. I am okay with that and as part of growing up I have accepted this.
2. Marriage may not happen in my case and I am accepted this as a part of my life. For a person with no family makes me the most unqualified candidate for the Institution of marriage. Over the years I have the observed how degenerated this institution has become where in the matters have been taken to the police station and session courts. I have seen western debaunchery and degenerecy entering this institution and have gained enough wisdom to realize that marriage is no longer a holy institution in India.
3. I find solace in reading and watching good movies and web series on different OTT platforms. I guess this activities keep me enegaged and help me address that lonelienss that comes with living a single life.
4.I have started my fitness journey once again. The COVID pandemic and subsequent lockdows disturbed my schedule and now it is time to get back to my fitness routine.I have promised myself and that no matter what, I will not become like one of those 40 and 50 plus uncles that you meet in India who is unfit and out of shape.
5. I will resume my travel exploring different places and meeting new people. I have decided to dine out at food joints and restaurants on near by cities that have been recommended by youtubers.
6. With the wisdom gained over years of experience, I tend to avoid toxic and negative people. They zap your energy and emotionally drain you. I keep them 500 mtrs away from me.
7. I am now open to compansinship i.e means spending some time with a female if she comes across as a sane and rational woman. Though I follow the MGTOW lifestyle there is nothing wrong in seeking companionship of a woman. As a single man , I have the freedom to persue relationships and seek compansionship from women of my age bracket. In the journey of life there have to be some good memries, something that you will look back on and smile.
I celebreated by birthday all by myself at a cafe and here I say cheers of life, liberty and freedom:
The COVID pandemic will be seen as one of the greatest tragedies of the 21st Century. Two years on and India is still reeling from the after effects of this pandemic. Our economy is in shambles, business is bad, Inflation is all time high, jobs are not easy to come by and things are getting difficult day by day.
Still we the people of India will go on doing what we were doing best, Marriage. Even during this Covid Pandemic, people did not stop from getting married.
With all kinds of scams that emerged during the pandemic, a new one is gradually being observed. i.e the case of fake widows on the online matrimonial sites.
The pandemic has become an excuse for many divorced, separated women and single mothers to claim themselves to be widows and marry a naive person. I spoke to two men who got trapped in this kind of marriage. The first one was looking for an understanding life partner, he was clear that he would not marry a divorcee considering how today's women are using the gender biased laws against their in-laws and husbands. He came across a profile stating that the woman was a widow having lost her husband in the pandemic. Interest was expressed, numbers were exchanged and conversations took place. This man even visited the woman's city and spoke to her at a coffee shop and later took her for dinner at a restaurant. He was convinced that finally he had found his life partner and wanted to marry her. He went back, spoke to his parents, while the parents initially expressed skepticism, later they agreed for the marriage. The marriage took place, everything went well. A month later a major catastrophe struck, he came across his wive's documents where it was stated that she was a divorcee and later he also came across a divorcee decree wherein his wife had claimed alimony and had filled 498a and DV against her husband. While his wife was divorced, she had got a huge alimony as a settlement. This man was devastated and went into depression.He confronted his wife only to see a different side of the woman he had truly loved. She laughed at him and threatened him that were he to leave her or tell this to anyone, she would file false cases against the husband and his parents. The man backed off and accepted his fate. He feels to have been badly cheated.
The second case is just like the one above, the only difference is that the man was a never married bachelor in his mid 40s looking for a life partner. He too got conned by this so called single mother widow who again had lost her husband in the pandemic and was looking for a supportive life partner. In reality this woman was divorced, her husband was very much alive and she was shamelessly claiming child support. Her first husband was not even aware that she was got married for the second time.
In both these cases the husbands were alive. With rising awareness among the Indian men and their families, never married men are refraining from getting married to divorcees considering the fact many women have used the legal system to their advantage. No decent man or his family wants to be accused of false dowry cases, domestic violence and be arrested. Hence the hesitancy. People will always prefer a widow.
So some cunning, calculating women and their parents convincingly take up the widow status and the Covid pandemic is a wonderful excuse as it claimed the lives of both old and young ones. And here you have a bechari young widow who lost her husband, you have an abhla single mother widow who is looking for a supportive husband who will also accept her child.
My dear single Indian men, please beware of this scam. Don't be desperate to get married. It is better to be single than be sorry. If you come across such profiles where interests are expressed, please do your background verification. Hire a private detective, scout her history, as for the death certificate of her husband, verify it with the mortuary, ask for her past family photographs, ask for the husbands medical records, the respective state governments are also giving some kind of covid benefits to the families of the deceased, please ask for this kind of certificate. all hospitals are issuing it.
Do a thorough investigation, today narratives can easily be changed and a calculating thug can easily play the role of the victim. Understand that you should not be conned. Both of these men fell into the trap because they were lured by the beauty of the women.
I have my sympathy for all those women who genuinely lost their husbands during the pandemic, in many cases the husbands were the sole earners/bread winners and now the responsibility of taking care of the family has fallen upon the widowed wives. May god give all these women the strength and courage to carry on with this challenging journey ahead.
What I dislike is how the widow status is being misused in order to trap naive innocent men into marriage. This brings a bad name to the women who have actually been widowed. Even they would want to find a decent life partner and give their life a new start, unfortunately with all these kinds of scams they too have come under scrutiny.
At the end of this post I want to clearly warn all the single Indian men; please be careful, keep an open mind, just because you hear someones sad plight does not mean you have to take it on face value. Never take a major life changing decision in desperation, always give it time. Be aware, be careful and be safe.
With the proliferation of affordable internet services across India, new scammers have emerged. While most of us have heard and read about the online bankig fraud scams, credit card scams, loans scams and online product delivery scam, in the shadows there is a new scam lurking , known as sex scams. This post is on this topic and I write how these scammers forcing men to pay up.
Today many men are lonely, be it married or unmarried. They are desperately looking for companionship. The age group can range from 18 to 60 and above. Some men are single due to family problems some are divorced, some are separated, some are single parents etc etc. All lonely are people vying for female companionship.
Now here is the modus operandi of these scammer. The group consists of 3 to 4 people where one member is a female. She is young, good looking and charming. She is one of those so called social media influencers you find these days on facebook or instagram. Along with her, there are men who exhibit criminal traits and have a greed for money in order to live a luxurious life without putting in any efforts.
This con gang goes across hunting for their targets. Within this gang there is a computer wiz who is an expert with social media platforms and tools. They identify their targets online. Sometimes their victims are even known to them as they stay in the same locality or they know them through an acquaintance. A request is sent to them generally through facebook or instagram. The profile of the girl is enticing. Once the friend request is accepted, the female starts chatting with the man, at first it is a general talk, later it becomes more friendly and after that it goes to the next level. Video calls start and the lady tries to get intimate with the man online, she asks him to remove his clothes while she also does the same. A lot takes place during these online video calls. The man is oblivious of the fact that these entire video call is being recorded by the girl and members of the gang.
A few days after the conversation, the message is sent to the man along with the video. The threatening message is sent stating that either you pay up a huge amount of money or the video will be sent to all your friends and relatives in your social media groups. The cyber expert form the group would have already archived and stored all the contacts existing within the profile of the victim.
In order to save face and reputation, majority of the men pay up. They don't seek police intervention as they feel ashamed. Thousands of men have been duped this way and they could do nothing.
For all those single Indian men and MGTOW's, please take my warning carefully. DO NOT and I say DO NOT under any circumstances accept the friend request of woman who is unknown to you, no matter hoe beautiful and good looking she may be. Avoid them. Do not share your mobile number of personal details with unknown women. You don't know the femme fatale on the other side of the screen. I understand that loneliness can take a toll but don't allows fraudsters to take away your hard earned money.
There have been many times when my blog, my write-ups have been criticized and labelled as patriarchal and misogynist. I have often been called an Incel, frustrated right wing Sanghi who writes articles against women. In times of woke feminism and liberalism it is quite easy to silence voices that are representing the other side of the story.
Firstly I want to clarify that I am not against the female gender. I have many good female friends and work colleagues and totally respect the contribution of women in our homes, workforce and society. What I am against is the gender biased laws, woke feminists and feminazis who wrongly use these laws against men and the constant defamation of Indian men in the media and social media platform.
Speaking for the rights of Indian men and their condition is not a crime. I am exercising my right of freedom of speech. In India you have the Legislature, the Executive and the Judiciary, the three pillars of democracy. But just look at the irony of our country. The legislature drafts rules which are against men, the judiciary passes judgements against men while the executive implements the laws that are against the interests of Indian men. Just look at the recent court judgements admonishing and taunting Indian men, just look how police treats Indian men when cases related to marital problems are filed against them. Look at our respective state governments giving handouts freebies to women but offer nothing to men.
The fourth estate known as the Media which should ideally be unbiased and honest in reporting the ground reality prints and publishes everything against men. The problem is that our media is filled with leftist liberals who want to run an agenda of defaming Indian men by portraying them are rapists, pedophiles, violent and abusive wife beating husbands and god knows what.
It is the fifth estate known as the social media that gives us Men the opportunity to share our experiences and our side of the story. When I write I speak on the pathetic condition of Indian men in this country and the treatment meted out to them by the courts, law enforcement agencies and the society. India's woke feminism culture has created major problems for Indian men.
In our country the condition of an Indian man is that of a third class citizen. Even street mongrels and stray cows are given better treatment than us.
When I write, I write on the current gender biased laws prevailing in our judicial systems and how they have destroyed the lives of hundreds and thousands of Indian men. Indian men since birth are expected to be RAM-SHRAVAN and play the role of provider and protector. An Indian man is judged by the job he holds and the salary he earns. He is expected to get married, bring a wife and raise kids. For the next thirty years of his life, he has to provide for his family and bear all the expenses. He is forced to take loans and be under debt for years to come.
MGTOW lifestyle is a major life saver for rational Indian men. It gives men an alternative path to move away from the society and live your life on your own terms and not as per the expectations of the Indian society. No more marriage, no more a family and no children. You are away from the shackles of the society. You are free, free from the burden of expectations and pressures put by other people.
At 39, I am living that MGTOW lifestyle. Initially circumstances forced to me to take up the single life and later I happily embraced the MGTOW lifestyle. Today I am an keen observer of the happenings in and around the Indian society. My experiences have shaped me. Today I write to create awareness for young Indian men, I write from my own experiences of living the MGTOW lifestyle.
I would like to wish a very happy new year for all my fellow single Indian men and fellow MGTOW's. I hope you all would have enjoyed and celebrated the 31st night. The year 2021 went so fast. What started as a new beginning of supposedly having won over COVID gradually became a major disaster. The months between April to July were worse. The incompetence and failure of the government was clearly visible. So many people lost their loved ones. The sad part is that the events of this year left so many COVID orphans who are left to their own fate. Once again businesses have suffered and men have lost their jobs.
In the current times staying single and living a MGTOW lifestyle is the best option. Even if you face financial problems, it is only you who will bear the consequences and not your family members. Imagine the guilt of not being able to pay EMI's, children's school fees and meeting your household expenses. In an article written by Mr.Rahul Pandita, an eminent journalist, he shared his own personal experience;he had visited a grocery shop and a decent well educated man met him. This man asked Rahul Pandita if he could buy some essential groceries for this man as he had lost his job, spent all savings and had no money to buy food for his family, this man had a 1 year child and was desperate to get some food for his child. Mr.Rahul offered some money but this man only asked Rahul to buy him essential groceries. I guess his self respect did not make him take money from another person.
Imagine if any one of us were in this situation. How humiliating is it to beg in front of someone for basic essentials for your family. I guess I too cannot do such a thing. I would rather starve than beg.
As stated in my previous posts, don't change your mind due to this pandemic situation. I know that these are difficult times, our loved ones are dying and there is a need for companionship. But I want to clearly warn you, please don't get married. Marriages done due to desperation often lead to disaster.
This year please focus on improving yourself, go to the gym, exercise, run, lift weights, go for a swim. Focus on health and wellness. Mental and emotional health is equally important. Take up yoga and meditation. Read spiritual books and visit temples on a regular basis. Travel as much as you can in India, explore new places.On you tube there are many food channels that are exploring good eateries in your city. Please visit and eat the food at these places. It is wonderful.
I have already warned you on legal terrorism related to marriage. I also want to warn to on the new and emerging crime that no one is talking: SEXTORTION. We have have already heard about Ms. Ayushi Bhatia, this woman who filled 7 false rape cases against 7 men in the year 2021 itself. I will be writing about her in my coming posts, but please be warned. If you are meeting an unknown woman in a public place who is getting extra friendly with you then it is a red flag. Just avoid such women. Another scam observed is where an unknown woman sends you a friend request on facebook or Instagram, once you accept this request, she will have a video call with you and try to get personal on the call. She will start revealing her physically and while the man may be enjoying, his act is being recorded by the woman. Later this woman will send a threatening message stating that the video will be made viral if the man will not pay up the money demanded by her. There are instances where in the video is shared with the friends and family members of this man on social media.
Our society is headed towards moral decadence. There are no values, no moral and no ethics. I request all my fellow MGTOW brothers to stay out of any trouble.
This year I am also willing to help my fellow MGTOWs especially the young ones who are looking for wise counsel or advice on living a MGTOW/Single Life.My email is is sheth.bhaveen@gmail.com
Once again I wish you all a very happy new year and let us hope that this year brings peace and prosperity to all of us.
Dowry is a social evil. We have studied this in our school time. It is wrong to take dowry and there is a stringent law in the Indian Penal Code against it. That's good. But has someone heard about reverse dowry in India? Does anyone has a faint idea what it is?
With the advent of the 21st century and the rise of middle class and upper middle class population in India we have seen many changes in our social norms. During this period we have also seen woke feminism on the rise. Since ages there has been a demand for a beautiful bride and financially stable groom. But over the years the demands of a prospective girl and her parents have sky rocketed. A picture was shared on social media enumerating the demands of today's women and her parents. Please read the same:
The above picture shows the reality. I would also like to share a comical video from you tube wherein a man is mentioning the demands of young girls and her parents in order to get married:
This video is hilarious and this man is mentioning the acerbic truth. Anyways, coming back to the main topic, I would like mention the common demands from the girl's families in order to get married. This is based on research from the internet and personal talk with many young and separated men. So here is the laundry list of demands:
Education: The boy must be educated having a masters degree that too from a reputed college. It does not matter if the girl has completed basic graduation in phaphda and jalebi degree from some pakoda and bhajia college affiliated to some sandwich and hamburger university.
Vocation: Doctor, Engineer (IIT), MBA (B-School Only), CA, IAS, IPS, IRS or government job. It does not matter if the girl is just working as a front office receptionist or doing a back office job.
Salary: The most important factor when it comes to finalizing the groom for a marriage. Nothing less than a six figure monthly CTC or seven figure annual CTC. After all the daddy's princesses won't marry men who average earners. Now you understand why the placement package matters.A man's worth is decided by his CTC.
Flat possession: The boy must have a 2 or 3 BHK flat in his name or he should be planning to acquire one by putting a down payment and suffer the burden on monthly EMI's for the next 25 years. The flat must be located in a posh locality. Today's girls don't want to stay with the in-laws and are not even willing to stay in a rented flat.
Property ownership: The bungalow, land or flat of the the prospective groom is a major deciding factor. Ancestral land in the home town of the boy is icing on the cake.
Boy's Family background: The lesser the better. The boy should be the only son, he should not have any siblings. If he has a brother he should not take care of him and if there is a sister then he should not set aside any on his finances for her marriage. As the girl will not live in a joint family, the boy must live separately from his parents after marriage.
In-Laws Expectations: What is ours will be ours but what is yours will become a part of our daughter. No compromises. The boy must take care of the healthcare needs of his in-laws including taking them to the hospital. He should also sponsor the marriage of his sister-in law if there is one. Gifts are to be given to the in-laws during all social occasions, anniversaries and festivals. The boy must take his in-laws on annual vacations in Indian and abroad and yes ,the in-laws can drop by anytime at his house where he will take leave from his office and take the in-laws to expensive restaurants and shopping malls.
Honeymoon: It must be in a foreign country preferably exotic places like Bali, Singapore/Malaysia, Dubai, Europe. Indian locations are only for beggars. After all the girl wants to put the pictures on social media. And the expenses of this entire trip must be paid by the groom.
Take care of the lifestyle of the girl: Yes my friend the prospective groom must take care of the wonderful lifestyle of the girl. After marriage she will leave her job and stay at home becoming a full time housewife. One maid will be hired to clean the house and a separate cook will prepare the food. The boy must buy another 2 wheeler or 4 wheeler as madam needs to travel across the city. Madam will also take up her passion of making videos on you tube, Instagram and ticktock/MX Takatak. She will go to the gym, zumba classes, palliates classes and yoga sessions, the boy will pay for all these expenses. Every week the girl will do shopping at malls and supermarkets, she will also visit expensive salons for her grooming and the guy must take care of these expenses as well.
There is more that I would like to add but as for now this enough. This is the reality of our society and I am showing you the mirror. Marriage has fallen to materialistic decadent immoral level in these times and unfortunately there is no recourse. Social media has made people believe that they can achieve what they want by making minimal effort. Combine this with a Gynocentric culture and woke feminism.
Many young Indian men who are eligible for marriage are facing this situation. Some are even distressed and sad as they are not getting married after 5 to 6 years.
What is the point of a marriage of your have to end up being a slave in order to sponsor the expensive lifestyle of a person.
The solution is to stay single and go MGTOW. The financial freedom is beyond imagination.
This is Bhaveen Sheth ending this writeup and will be back with some more wisdom.
Taking inspiration from the Black Lives Matter movement from the USA, I write on why Indian men's lives matter. Truth be stated that the lives of Indian men are dirt cheap, cheaper than the life of a street mongrel.
No one cares what happens to men especially Indian men. The Gynocentric media is more concerned with the issues of women. And yet I as the writer of this blog would like to state that the lives of Indian men do matter.
Our child hood does matter. A topic that is hardly discussed, but we all know the pressures put upon today's young boys. The pressure of achieving good grades, performance in extra curricular activities, validation from the group, expectations of parents and that coveted status of being hooked and having a girlfriend. The burden to prove something is huge and still I say that the lives of these young boys matter.
We all know in the year 2020, a bright young teenager was pushed to commit suicide based on a fake social media post by a leftist feminazi woman accusing and shaming the young boy of molesting her which was a figment of her imagination. All she wanted was some sympathy and social media likes, this claimed the life of a young boy. The matter is in court and subjudice. But what about the parents who lost their only son.
The lives of young men who are in their prime does matter. Hundreds and thousands of Indian men have become burdened by expectations: Job, Salary, designation, corporate culture, moving away from homes, owning a vehicle , property , fitting into a group, peer group pressure. Adding to this is the pressure of getting married and starting a new life and meeting the expectations of the partner.
In the later years of life more stress and pressure adds up. It is part of life and one cannot change it. But then all men have to right of a life filled with dignity and respect. Unfortunately many men do not get this. They are badly treated by their girlfriends and wives , sometimes even their own parents behave badly with them.
Men suffer silently, they don't cry in public or share their grievances with anyone. Over the years they become stoical and accept emotional abuse and suffering as a part of their lives.
As a veteran MGTOW , I empathize with my fellow Indian men and would like to state that your life does matter. Remember you have your own importance in this world and never allow anyone to treat you badly. Protect your self esteem and dignity. Understand the importance of your own life. Your life matters.
Hard work, dedication, creativity and perseverance has finally paid off. On this Monday I got a message from twitter wherein my blog was rated a one of the top 15 websites for Indian men. The screenshot and link is being shared below:
