Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM- So why are you not yet married ???

DOTSIM stands for the diary of the Single Indian Male:

Today i type down my feelings, thoughts and statements that come in my mind when i am asked this single disparaging question  " So Why you are not yet married"?????

Aughhhh, the feeling of disgust that i get??? I just ask myself that why can't people in my country , INDIA learn to mind their own businesses??? But no,  because every Indian Citizen has an unspoken birthright to intrude onto the privacy of others!!!!!

Okay, i am 30 years old, so what?? It does not make me old!!!! I happen to be an Orphan, having lost my parents at a younger age. My late teenage years and the entire decade of 20's went in struggling and working hard to reach  a good position in my career.

Do you know sir/madam know , what does it mean to be an Orphan in this country?? Do you know how difficult is it to be an orphan in the upwardly mobile Indian society???

No, and how can you know that, you have had your parents, your extended relatives  perform all the matrimonial ceremonies for you, right from finding the right mate to arranging the marriage.

And I !!!! Whom do i have???? No one , but just my sister who takes a strong stand for me, that's all.

Years back someone had advised me that i should register my profile on some popular online matrimonial sites. I followed the suit and well, what did i find, it was just an extension of the pathetic wretched double standard Indian society seen online.

Everyone wanted guys belonging to same caste, sub caste, gothra, religion, earning a handsome salary, and last but not the least the GUY SHOULD BE FROM A DECENT FAMILY!!!!!

Decent family!!!! That's all what people want, decent family. Somewhere down the line i had forgotten that in India marriage is about meeting and mating  of 2 families and not about 2 individuals. It is a different thing that after marriage these very 2 individuals go and live together ever after.

The very fact that I had no family made me an outcast from the start. I became and an still am the last choice of people. No normal person wants to associate with me. At my workplace, people like and adore me, maybe it is because of my sense of humor, my superiors and peers respect me for my knowledge, dedication, hard work and intellect. I  have a charismatic personality, but all the said things does not  make me competent enough to get married.

I have seen this society, this pathetic Indian Society from close quarters, the most pathetic people get married, murderers, criminals, rapists, guys who have severe criminal charges pending against them in the court of law. Under qualified men with low IQ, unhygienic men and god knows which rotten men the society has created get married. And why???? All of them belong to a DECENT INDIAN FAMILY.

I only have my sister to take care of me and she speaks on behalf of me.And  In spite of that, she has to justify her relation with me. She has to go through a routine interrogation, why, what , how and when are the questions asked to her. Even i am not spared of these questions either.

And if there is anything remaining, then it is that i have become the last option of the dejected and the rejected, the divorcees, the double divorcees, the morbidly obese , the physically and mentally handicapped, the ones having skin disease. They or maybe their parents  think that my orphan status makes me a beggar with no choices. I have become, in what i would describe best in the English terminology as, the Hobson's choice or the Devils alternative for the above mentioned category. The divorcees come with their own emotional baggage, the 30 plus single frustrated ones just have too many expectations. A woman who was 30 plus was interested in me but her mother said that as i happened to be an orphan and had lived alone for many years, there were fair chances that i would be mentally insane/abnormal. A double divorcee told me that because i didn't have a flat of my own , i would be considered as a potential fraud.

And then i look at the option of dating someone. But does it really work??? I work in the healthcare sector, and by large it is filled people who are traditional minded. The ones who have done their medical education have attitudes that is higher than the altitude of Mt Everest. Asking them out is like humiliating your own self.

And i happen to live in Gujarat errr Vibrant Gujarat. For all the good things that this state has to offer, the people happen to be narrow minded. The woman of this state will mostly intermingle with Gujarati men only, we the outsiders can go and take a hike. And once again they too are people who have deep family roots, so an orphan like me can have no stand in front of them.

I ask you ,my dear sir/madam, is it a crime to be an Orphan??? Is it a crime to be a homeless destitute???? Why then, every single day am i made to feel guilty of being an orphan, why then do you question  my single status??? You try to give me solace stating that someone will definitely like you and eventually marry you. Will you allow your sister/daughter to marry and Orphan??? No!!!!!! Because it is easy to preach but difficult to practice!!!!!!!

So my dear sir/madam, please leave me alone, if you can't make me a part of your society then kindly let me live in peace in my own solitude. You scare me with questions like "Who will take care of you"?? " "Who will be there for you when you fall sick??" " What will you do when you get old"???

And to this i reply, i have fallen sick, got admitted in hospitals ,all on my own, no one had been there for me in all those years and guess what , i  managed!!!!! No one was there to say good byes and no one there to receive me. And as far as old age is concerned, i don't care, maybe i won't live to see my old age. I will buy a gun and shoot myself or maybe i will buy an injection of sodium thiopental and inject myself and die peacefully. At the age of 60 i will say my final good bye.

But sir/madam, i will not beg , i will not plead, i will not appeal in front of anyone to get married, i am a self made man , not some desperate average Indian male who begs to get married or have a life partner. My self respect and dignity will remain high and will not be compromised.

So please leave me alone and stop asking me this one mindless question.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with some more.