"At times i ask myself;Will I remain happy being single?"

Now that I am in my early 30's, I often ask myself this one single question? "Will I be happy I were to remain single for the rest of my life?"

My intuition tells me yes.

For starters, I have got comfortable with my single status. Gone are those days when I was desperate to find a soul mate. I have got adjusted with the conditions that a solo life has to offer.Over the years gone by , I have grown and matured and am content with life.

There are times when I ask myself.,"What if I were to get married and settle down?""What about starting a family life?"

I doubt if if I would become a good husband or a father. I doubt that I will ever meet the expectations of the society. My answer is a no.Maybe I don't have it in me. I don't have the competency to settle down.

Life is just as good as the decisions you make.Bad decisions complicate life.

Today i have a set of personal dreams and professional ambitions for myself. My critics may call me self centred or selfish. Its okay. I don't care.

Maybe some people never settle down.They are happy to chart their own course of life and live a happy single life..

I am that person who has joined the category of happy single men who will go ahead and live his life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth, the writer of the diary the single Indian male. I will be back with a lot more.

I just turned my back from the institution of marriage

Two and a half years ago , I wrote a blog post titled "One day I decided not to get married". After two and a half years I felt that it was a right decision taken.

The institution of marriage in India is highly overrated. It is rotten to the core, based on nothing but lies , hypocrisy and double standards. For some people it still remains to be a sacred institution;I think otherwise.

Over the years of my life I have seen this institution from a close proximity and realized that it is just an over-exaggerated fantasy. Outcasts like me are not eligible for it. There is a lot more that I can write, but I choose to restrict my words for now.

Having gained wisdom and maturity, I have got acclimatized to solitude and loneliness, I am happy living the way I am. There are no regrets.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more.

The fight for our AZADI (freedom)

Today I write on our azadi, the azadi for the Indian men.

I take this inspiration from the Kashmiri people who had been fighting for their freedom with the Indian state and security forces.

On similar lines we Indian men will have to fight and assert ourselves. We need to realize that life is not easy for us because we are living in one of the most oppressed societies in the world.Since child hood we have to confirm to the pathetic rules and regulations that have been dictated upon us.Protest and dissent against the same is not tolerated. In case if a man protests against such rules, it is brutally cracked down and the man is subjected to harsh criticism and made an outcast.

We need to realize that that we can't passively watch this oppression and be party to it.

The time has come for the Indian men to go out and claim their azadi. The azadi to live life on their own terms ; the azadi from the emotional and verbal abuse that men are subjected at the hands of the Indian women; azadi from the norms of a society known for its double standards.

Go on my friends , go ahead and fight for your azadi. The journey will be long and arduous but believe me it is worth it.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will be back with a lot more.

Dowry is a bribe paid in order to ensure the happiness of the bride

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, the single Indian man.

Pardon me if I am making this statement, but this is a reality that our social activists never concentrate on.

The present anti dowry laws that exist within the Indian judicial system prosecutes someone for accepting or demanding dowry.Why then do these very laws fail to prosecute someone who willingly gives dowry, because he/she should be considered  equally liable.

The truth is that dowry is still prevalent in India and has become an institutionalized and accepted norm in all Indian marriages.

Many parents want to marry off their daughters at a higher social and financial level in the society.Even the so called educated empowered independent urban Indian women want the same.In order to see that this happens , huge sums of money is given both in cash and kind to the groom.

The bride and her parents are equal partners in this crime dowry.Rather than empower their daughters, many Indian parents even today feel that getting their daughters married to a well settled men coming from decent family backgrounds will ensure their happiness. Many girls also coerce their parents into giving dowry so that they can marry rich men.

This is the reason why the dowry system is still prevalent and will never be eradicated.

Wisdom from Arundhati Roy

I love to read the articles of activist  cum columnist Arundhati Roy.She is is a lady who needs no introduction. For those who don't know her please visit her Wikipedia link below to get a better insight:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arundhati_Roy

A few day ago, I cam across a famous quote from one of the books authored by her titled as the "War Talk".

The quote goes something like this:

"Our strategy should not only be to confront an empire but to also lay siege to it.To deprive it of oxygen. To  shame it. To mock it. With our art , our music our literature, our stubbornness , our joy, our brilliance, our sheer restlessness and our ability to tell our own stories that are different from the ones we are brainwashed to believe"

I know that the above quote applies to autocratic and dictatorial governments that want to subjugate their populations.

But I feel that the above quote also applies to the Indian society. A society hell bent on brainwashing people and forcing them to follow unwanted rules and regulations.

To all my single Indian male friends out there, go ahead and live your single life with no complaints. Show the world that we the single men can live a quality life.

Go ahead and make these so called happily married couples realize that single Indian men too can live a happy life.

Go ahead indulge yourself, start loving arts, watch good movies, read wonderful books,attend seminars and conclaves. Go on road trips, visit different parts of India, do your daily chores, pay your bills, wash and iron your clothes, cook good food, exercise, lift weights, swim , run a marathon, go to a sex worker, date a woman, eat at good restaurants, take up advanced professional certifications, rise in your career.

But remain stubborn, stand up for what you believe in. make your own story. A story of your own life that will be unconventional.Go ahead and tread a different path and let people be inspired by your life..

Go and tread your own course and don't get brainwashed by the philosophy of the Indian society.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth on wisdom gained on turning 33 and dreams to fulfill

This year on may 13th 2015 I turned 33. I am still single. One of the few single men you will find these days. As the years go by, the count of single men in my age bracket will decrease

Age has its own advantages. You learn with experience and you certainly gain wisdom.

At 33 I have become wise, wise enough to live a happy life. In a few points below, I would like to share some of my statements, dreams and desires.

Age is just a number and one should not be worried about it.

I have stopped looking out or waiting for that special one. I am wise enough to understand in a materialistic society like ours which is equally divided on sectarian lines, I am the undeserving lot. Henceforth I started focusing on my life and have started doing things that will make me happy.

Fitness is my primary focus and I intend to improve my strength and endurance.

Careers and professional development is my primary focus. I will work everyday to rise in the corporate world.

I have distanced myself from toxic and negative people.Life is too short to spend time with such kind of people.

I have promised myself to travel the length and breadth of this country and see as many places.

In the coming years there will be more books to read and movies to watch.

A small studio apartment is all that I want and one day god willing I will have it.

One small car that gives a gives a good mileage and can travel on the national highways of this country.

Dream of relocating to the place where I can be with my sister and her family.

To have the best gaming console that will keep me engaged at all times.

To become a creative writer, an english language teacher , teaching english to adults.

This is what I want at the age of 33 . I hope to achieve the same.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out , will be back with a lot more.

Confessions of ineligible Indian bachelors: The orphans and children from separated and dysfunctional families

Bhaveen Sheth speaks for the ineligible Indian bachelors-The orphaned and the ones from separated and dysfunctional families.

Who are we??? What are we??? This is a question that we often ask ourselves everyday.

In my case, I am an orphan who does not have parents and for others who are reading this post are either born into dysfunctional families or come from separated families.There is even a term for this, some sociologists call it fractured families.

Everyone reading this blog post needs to understand that our childhoods have been extremely difficult, but in spite of all our problems we have managed to survive. Today many of us have made enormous professional accomplishments and hold jobs in reputed institutions.

But in spite of all our achievements and accomplishments we have never fully been accepted by the Indian society.

The message is loud and clear. In India no matter what you do, what you become , it is not your individuality but your family background that matters. Like all  normal men and women in this country , we too dreamed of finding a life partner , we too dreamed of getting married and having a loving and caring family of our own.

All those dreams, all those desires , all those aspirations came down falling like a pack of cards.It gradually came to our realization that in order to get married , one needed to belong to a decent family. Education and professional success did not matter, it was only your family background that decided who and what you were.

But what family can we represent? In my case there is none. For those who have left their dysfunctional families for good, it is extremely difficult , same applies to the ones who come from separated families. For those who have been bought up single mothers are always questioned on the absence of the head in the family.

What have we become??? The unwanted and the outcast!!!! To some extent our loved ones left us and to another extent we left our loved ones.

Our friends and colleagues have now got married and we observe,   we have observed these events as a mute spectator. On different social media sites we get to see uploaded photos of our friends, classmates, college mates getting engaged, getting married, going on a honey moon.and we remain silent observers.

No one thinks about us , no one considers us.

The state of ignominy that we are subjected to is terrible." You have no parents!!! How can I give my daughter to such a person???"You left your own family for good because there were serious problems? And you think that you will have a stable marriage?" " You say that your parents are separated?? And how can I get my daughter married to such a person?"After all we have a family reputation to maintain?"

"What is it like to  be made to feel abnormal in-spite of being normal?"How is it to feel like to be an outcast in-spite of having worked very hard and done your best to fit in.

But we take thing in our stride and continue to live our lives. We have accepted things with stoicism.

And as I finish writing this blog , there are a turn of events happening in this country involving people like us.

Somewhere an educated orphan is looking for his/her soul mate on an online matrimonial site but he is still not getting lucky.Till date he has faced nothing but rejections.Somewhere a man/woman who has left his/her dysfunctional family years ago is is getting ready to meet the parents of his/her loved one thinking  what he/she were going to say if questioned on his/her family background.Somewhere there is a middle aged single mother who is constantly worrying that who will marry her daughter.Some where there is a man who has been neglected , forsaken and abandoned because his/her parents chose to go on separate paths leaving this child alone.Somewhere there is a young single mother who is working very hard to achieve a work life balance and has just put her daughter to sleep wondering whether she will ever have a soul mate who will love her and take care of her. But she knows that in this society a single mother has limited chances of getting married.

And somewhere there is an orphan like me who has given up all hope on the institution called marriage.

So this is the confession , confession that bhaveen sheth, the single Indian man states on behalf of other orphans and members who come from separated and dysfunctional families.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing of for the day , will be back with a lot more