In a brief post below, the single Indian man writes his thoughts on how Indian parents are unwilling to accept the shortcomings of their children and the impact it has on the children when they become adults.
All parents love their children , no one can deny that. But there is a big difference in being being emotional and practical. With the rise in income , many parents pamper their children and overlook their shortcomings.
Children can have shortcomings in many ways. Some have major behavioural and emotional problems while others are extremely dependent on their parents for each and everything. Life skills is something that we Indians learn late in life. And then there are some children who are plainly dumb, they have a low IQ or some learning difficulty/disability. We all know that kid from the movie "TARE ZAMEEN PAR". Parents were unwilling to accept that the child was dyslexic. We all had that student in our class who was dumb and got ridiculed both by teachers and classmates.
Pampering, over-protection and denial of a problem sets a difficult path for the child. While parent gives unconditional love to the child , I cannot say the same about the world outside the home. When we go outside our houses and face the real world, the slap of reality hits us.
I have often seen parents arguing with teachers when something negative is told to them about their son/daughter, fighting with the principal when their child got less marks or did not win a prize in some competition.
As the child grows up, he/she finds it difficult to face certain realities. One may not get admission in the desired college or course, there is a heart break during teenage years and one may not always fit into a particular peer group. All this is part and parcel of life. But a child who is emotionally not strong will find it difficult to deal with such delicate situations.
In the later years of life it is about jobs, salaries, marriage and starting a family. And here I would like to ask one question? Are people prepared to undertake big responsibilities? The answer is no. By failing to address the shortcomings, an incompetent individual is raised. Today we are seeing the manifestations of the same across India.
People are failing to get suitable employment in spite of being graduates, failing to keep their jobs, there is no passion in the job as they are doing something they never wanted (they were pushed into it by their parents), marriages are breaking down resulting into divorces and separation. All across we are seeing people who are sad and depressed with their lives.
This does not mean that people are unsuccessful. There are many who are making it big out there and taking up responsibilities. There are people out there who can independently handle things.
Sometimes parents just need to tell the bitter truth to their children, sometimes constructive criticism helps, accepting that something is wrong with the child is much better that denial,taking help from counselor, psychologist or a psychiatrist should not be a taboo. Such steps lead to positive changes in the near future.
What I see is that parents trying to get jobs for their children, parents interfering in the married lives of their children for no reason. It is important to accept that after 21 a child is a fully grown adult and it is time he/she faces the real world and develop coping mechanism. Parents cannot be there all the time.
I hope this post brings some wisdom on parents.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.
BHAVEEN SHETH
INDIAN MGTOW
