When I don't feel sorry for myself then why do you feel sorry for me?

Speaking as a first person the single Indian man would like to address all those people who feel sorry for him due to his condition.

You see me as an individual, as a single man who is still not married, you come to know that I am an adult orphans and don't have anyone.Suddenly you are overwhelmed with emotions of sympathy and you start feeling sorry for me.Why?Do I look like someone who wants sympathy?

I am living life on my own terms and happy with my current status quo. I don't pity myself  then why do you?

Being single is not a disease.Some are programmed to live alone.Over the course of the years I have become comfortable with my single status and don't feel the need to get married.

You are married and have a family, I wish you all the best and I hope that you focus on your life.I will find a way to take care of myself so please don't show any concern for me.

I live in the present and am very optimistic about my future.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

The Death of a Single lonely Indian Man-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man would like to write about an event he witnessed two years ago on the death of  a single lonely Indian man in the same building that he resides in.

I had seen this man, he was in his early 50's,single, lonely and battling mid life crisis.Like all people who come from small towns to big cities seeking better employment opportunities, he too belonged to the same category. From what I came to know about him, he was a teaching faculty in one of those coaching classes for MBA CAT and MAT.

He seemed to be aloof.He was unmarried,kept up to himself hardly interacting  with people.There were a few times when I saw him speaking with the building caretaker. He seemed to be overtly expressive, talking a lot. It seemed that he had no one to talk to.A classic syndrome of prolonged loneliness.When you get an opportunity to talk , you keep talking non stop.

In his physical appearance he seemed to have aged 10 -15 years more that his current age.He looked shabby and did not care much about his appearance.His clothes were loose, he hardly shaved and looked more like a hippy.I guess he had stopped taking care of himself.

Loneliness did not kill him. It were the vices associated with loneliness that did..His drinking habit took away his life.I guess he used to consume alcohol on  daily basis beyond the permissible limits (as per medical sciences). He looked wasted. I guess alcohol had already taken a huge toll on his health. Till date I do not why did he find his solace in alcohol. What was it? A broken marriage, betrayal in love, a dysfunctional family or a difficult childhood.Some people take their secrets to their graveyards without sharing with anyone.

No one knows when this lonely man died. He did not come out of his room for three days.A foul smell started coming from his room.His door was forced open and he was found lying lifeless like a wasted cadaver.The police was promptly informed. His sister and brother in law were called and all formalities related to his death were processed.There was no mourning, there was no funeral.Considering the difficulty in taking the dead body to his home town, his last rites were done in a nearby place.

This is how the life of a single lonely man came to an end.It is true that all of us are going to die one day but no one deserves a death like this. No one deserves to die like a street mongrel or a sewer rodent.Such kind of a death is humiliating to the human soul.

We as Single Indian men must learn from this. We should never fall for evil vices.Be it alcohol or anything.Never neglect your health and well being. Go outside and connect with people.Develop creative hobbies and start engaging in them.Work hard to create a meaningful life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

The rise in the population of India's ineligible bachelors and leftover men

While our society has shown a growing concern on Indian women not getting married after a certain age and more and more women remaining single, no one has tried to shed  light on the sudden and steep rise in the numbers of ineligible unmarried Indian men or better known as leftover men/bare branches.

These are men who have failed to get married for reasons obviously known to them, Demographically these men are found in huge numbers in the Northern part of India where decades of selective sex determination tests have led to female infanticide and abortions. Now these regions are facing a grave shortage of women.This is just one reason why we see so many unmarried Indian men.The other reason is the high standards, expectations and demands of Indian women when it comes to marriage.Time and again I have stated that Indian women marry higher up in the socio economic ladder. They prefer men who have better jobs earning a good salary package.Some men have not been as successful on the job and career front, some men are stuck in a dead end job with no further growth. These are the men who get rejected in the matrimonial market.

And then there are men belonging to a second category. These men hold good jobs and earn a decent salary. Unfortunately they come with their own fundamental flaws or personal in-competencies. These are men who are physically abnormal (too dark, short, obsese, short and scrawny), men who have poor social skills, they can't initiate a conversation with an unknown woman, men who lack self-esteem and self confidence which is noticeable from the body language.

So here you have a rising population of ineligible single Indian men, something that the Indian government should notice.This population is made up of disheartened and depressed men.Some of these men have hateful feelings towards the married Indian population.Being a left over Indian man deals a big blow one's ego especially for the men from North India.I also want to mention that these men are prone to indulge in bad habits like alcohol, drugs and women.Those days are not far when i will see these Indian men wasting their lives and careers because of their addiction to such vices.

Indian men have never been conditioned to live a solo life. They can"t accept the fact that they have to move on and go solo even after countless rejections from prospective brides.Indian society has indoctrinated its men in the philosophy that marriage is the be all and end all of life.Men are not able to come in terms with their solo status.

India and Indian society needs to make efforts in order to accommodate this population of ineligible bachelors.For starters the Indian society should stop taunting and making fun of  these single Indian men. There is no point in making fun of a person who is not married just because you are happily married and have a family does not mean that everyone should follow the bandwagon. People should learn to practice empathy towards single Indian men.Single Indian men are human beings. Stop treating them as some kind of an infected animal who needs to be quarantined. Learn to accommodate them on the social front. Let them live their lives the way they want.

The government also needs to pitch in be giving support to these men.Start helplines/hire counselors to deal with the problems of single men.Give incentives to builders to make studio apartments.

Concluding this post I state that in the coming years the population os single Indian men will rise and efforts need to be put in to accommodate them.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

The Indian Society will never understand the MGTOW Lifestyle-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The above picture sums it all. Men Going Their Own Way is a  movement that originated in the West to counter the toxic effects of militant feminism. This movement has spread across the world and is now gaining popularity in India.

Known as the Indian Men Going Their Own Way, this movement has gained prominence since the year 2014. You have channels of you tube, pages on Facebook and posts on quora highlighting this movement. In a span of five years, this movement has gained a huge fan following and more youngsters are joining the MGTOW clan.

MGTOW is different from those Men's Right Activists movement that is made up of all divorced and separated Indian men and their families or men who are fighting difficult divorce cases in courts.

MGTOWs have realized the dark reality of the Indian marriage system and have walked away from it adopting a different lifestyle.

However our great Indian society will never understand the Indian MGTOW lifestyle. The MGTOW followers should not care at the criticism they face.

Indian men are reduced to nothing but providers, ATM Machines and EMI/Home Loan Payers. We as Indian men are commodified based on our education ,job, salary and house ownership. Indian men are forced to follow the norms of the society without asking any questions. They have to get married, have a child and start playing the role of husband and a father at a particular age and the cycle of life goes on.

Now what if a man chooses to break these societal norms. What if he decides not to get married and live his life independently? You all know. All hell breaks loose!

Firstly it is the parents and the relatives who will never accept the idea of a man choosing not to get married and living his life the way he wants. In India, men are expected to blindly follow the traditions of the society. Any form of deviance in not tolerated. Plus there are parents who want to see his son get married and have his own children. Only in India marriage and having children is the proof to certify that a man  is stable and potent (I hope you understand what I mean)

We also have a crab mentality in India. If someone is doing a good thing, there are 99 people out there to stop him from doing it. Married Indian men are jealous of MGTOWs for all the reason they can be. It is not easy to see a single Indian man living his life, enjoying all the good things, travelling across to different places and having no tension of home loans and EMI's. The married Indian man is stuck with home chores, babysitting and living a life he detests. Many married Indian men are stuck in dysfunctional marriages with spouses they love to hate. They are still in the marriage just for the sake of their children, parents and the society pressure.

Acceptance of MGTOWs will not be easy, Metro cities in India are becoming good places for MGTOWs to have a decent lifestyle but still there is criticism. Tier 2 and Tier 3 cities are stuck in the conservative rut. An unmarried Indian man beyond a certain age is unacceptable. People are bothered about others and their lifestyle.

Living for yourself is still considered selfish in India. People fail to understand that there is a difference in being selfish and self centered. If a man lives for himself and enjoys his own company, he is considered to be an outcast. 

As a veteran Indian MGTOW now at the age of 36, I believe that we don't owe anyone an explanation. Our society is currently witnessing extremes of toxic feminism and hyper gamy. No matter how much we explain to people on our choice of lifestyle, they will never accept it. We as a society live in denial. No one is cautious.No one wants to acknowledge false cases related to dowry, domestic violence etc etc.No one wants to accept that the institution of marriage has broken down.

This is the reason why MGTOW lifestyle is not accepted by the larger society. But here I ask one simple question? Are we breaking the law or committing a crime by being a MGTOW. Is remaining single and not getting married a grave crime? NO!!! The legal system does not have any problem. Our lifestyle is not harming anyone , so why care.

Just remember, If you are a MGTOW, you have the strength and courage to live an independent life, something that majority of the Indian men cannot do or still dream about. You are exploring yourself and going ahead by focusing on what you want and where you wish to be. So go ahead and live that MGTOW lifestyle.

As far the society is concerned, it can go to hell. 

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day promise to be back with a lot more.

Feelings of the Single Indian man while watching sunset-Bhaveen Sheth -DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

As the sun sets down and the dusk takes over , you realize that just another lonely day is over.Just another day filled without love, care and affection.There is another lonely night that one has to endure. And still you look for another day, a day filled with hope, desire and expectations. Another day to look forward to make your life better.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

The commodification of the Indian man-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

The single Indian man would like to counter and challenge the feminist narrative about Indian women being objectified, meaning they are looked upon from their skin colour, looks and body shapes. But what about the Indian man. Is he not being treated as a commodity who comes with a price tag? Please find my reasoning in the below write up.

No other society has judged, labelled and priced its men like the Indian society, An Indian man is nothing but a sum total of his education, job designation, monthly salary, vehicle and property ownership. Rest does not matter. His character, morals behaviour and many other individual traits hold no importance.

The society treats an Indian man as a commodity put for display on a shelf.His job and salary decide his price tag and worth in the society. It is this very feature that makes him eligible in the marriage market.

For me, now a veteran MGTOW who gave up dreams on marriage a long time ago such things hardly matter.But I feel sorry for men who are looking out for a suitable life partner for marriage. Because they don't meet the required criteria they keep on getting rejected. Even the average Indian women who other wise have no significant achievements reject these men.

The commodification process of the Indian man starts right from his childhood, the day he was born.Good marks and grades in school, results of SSC and HSC, performance in entrance examinations, admission in good colleges, campus placements, packages and a lot more goes in the making up of a good Indian man.

The society complains  of the social evil called dowry. But aren't the Indian women equally responsible for it? Just look around, they all want well settled men who can take care of them and for that the girls parents are willing to go to any extent in paying a hefty dowry and financing a big fat Indian wedding. The truth is that the Indian men are bought at a price. This is the real commodification, the men come with a price tag.

The more successful the man is, the greater is his price tag in the marriage market.

Commodification of the Indian man has been existing from a long time. However in the last two decades it has reached magnanimous proportions. People often complain on the rising cases on divorces and breakdown in the family system but no one speaks on this evil of commodification. How can a marriage last when materialism and money take precedence over values, personality and behaviour. Does money and property decide long term compatibility?

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW.

Do we not feel? Don't we have emotions? Reflections of a single adult orphan.

I love the written word. I find solace in reading and writing. It is through my writings that I can express my feelings on loneliness, abandonment , prejudice, rage, dejection, disillusionment and helplessness.

These are my observations on living as a single adult orphan at the age of 36. In no way am I wallowing in self pity or seeking sympathy. However stories of my kind of people need to be read and heard by the general public so that they can empathize and not pass judgments or unnecessary conclusions.

So here I say, don't we feel? Don't we have emotions? Are we not human beings? Don't we have the right to live a happy life?

Twists and turns in fate and destiny can lead to drastic long term changes in the lives of people. It is resilience and capacity to cope that allows such people to come out of difficult situations.

No one discusses on the topic adult orphans.No one wants to know what kind of lives they   live. And yet if they chose to remain happy, the larger society has a problem with that.

Can't we be happy? Can't we enjoy just for ourselves? As an adult orphan there have been times when I have been called selfish. Is it wrong if I focus on my life? Is it wrong to be self centered?Yes I take myself out for lunch and dinner.I watch movies at cinema halls alone.I watch good movies/TV Shows and read good books. Should I wait for someone to come in my life in order to do this.

Don't we wish to travel and explore? There is a wanderer and explorer in all of us and travelling is something that we all want to do. Why should I wait for that someone special to come in my life? 

Aren't we humans? Don't we wish to be a part of a social circle? How much we wish to celebrate our important days and festivals with someone we are connected to. We also wish for companionship, love, care, affection and compassion.We wish to be loved and want to love someone special.We also look for a larger acceptance. We too have emotions. We brood silently, we keep our sorrows in our hearts. At times we feel sad and there is nothing that we can do about it.

Life is unfair and this is something that we adult orphans have accepted a long time ago. We don't want any form of pity and sympathy from the society.

What I find disgusting is that people question my trustworthiness, character, morals, integrity and background. People take me for granted when they realize that I don't have parents.it gives them the permission to speak whatever they want without realizing how I feel. No one says anything to mediocre men who also happen to be immature just because they have parents.

Can't we have some basic standards? Can't we have expectation?If any adult orphan were to have basic expectations, it goes against them. After all how of all the people can adult orphans can have expectations?Don't we have the right to choose? Are we street mongrels?

Why do we only get those alliances who have no takes? Why have we become someone's last resort , hobson's choice or devils alternative? Is it wrong to have basic expectations?

We may be adult orphans but we too are human beings.Stop criticizing us.Stop telling us to change. Stop telling us how we should live our lives. We know better than you. It is easy to pass comments but difficult to help us.We are what we are and have no complaints.

As normal human beings we strive for a better life everyday and wish to be happy. Just remember that we too are human being and we have emotions and feelings. Stop treating us as subhumans.