The Indian Society will never understand the MGTOW Lifestyle-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The above picture sums it all. Men Going Their Own Way is a  movement that originated in the West to counter the toxic effects of militant feminism. This movement has spread across the world and is now gaining popularity in India.

Known as the Indian Men Going Their Own Way, this movement has gained prominence since the year 2014. You have channels of you tube, pages on Facebook and posts on quora highlighting this movement. In a span of five years, this movement has gained a huge fan following and more youngsters are joining the MGTOW clan.

MGTOW is different from those Men's Right Activists movement that is made up of all divorced and separated Indian men and their families or men who are fighting difficult divorce cases in courts.

MGTOWs have realized the dark reality of the Indian marriage system and have walked away from it adopting a different lifestyle.

However our great Indian society will never understand the Indian MGTOW lifestyle. The MGTOW followers should not care at the criticism they face.

Indian men are reduced to nothing but providers, ATM Machines and EMI/Home Loan Payers. We as Indian men are commodified based on our education ,job, salary and house ownership. Indian men are forced to follow the norms of the society without asking any questions. They have to get married, have a child and start playing the role of husband and a father at a particular age and the cycle of life goes on.

Now what if a man chooses to break these societal norms. What if he decides not to get married and live his life independently? You all know. All hell breaks loose!

Firstly it is the parents and the relatives who will never accept the idea of a man choosing not to get married and living his life the way he wants. In India, men are expected to blindly follow the traditions of the society. Any form of deviance in not tolerated. Plus there are parents who want to see his son get married and have his own children. Only in India marriage and having children is the proof to certify that a man  is stable and potent (I hope you understand what I mean)

We also have a crab mentality in India. If someone is doing a good thing, there are 99 people out there to stop him from doing it. Married Indian men are jealous of MGTOWs for all the reason they can be. It is not easy to see a single Indian man living his life, enjoying all the good things, travelling across to different places and having no tension of home loans and EMI's. The married Indian man is stuck with home chores, babysitting and living a life he detests. Many married Indian men are stuck in dysfunctional marriages with spouses they love to hate. They are still in the marriage just for the sake of their children, parents and the society pressure.

Acceptance of MGTOWs will not be easy, Metro cities in India are becoming good places for MGTOWs to have a decent lifestyle but still there is criticism. Tier 2 and Tier 3 cities are stuck in the conservative rut. An unmarried Indian man beyond a certain age is unacceptable. People are bothered about others and their lifestyle.

Living for yourself is still considered selfish in India. People fail to understand that there is a difference in being selfish and self centered. If a man lives for himself and enjoys his own company, he is considered to be an outcast. 

As a veteran Indian MGTOW now at the age of 36, I believe that we don't owe anyone an explanation. Our society is currently witnessing extremes of toxic feminism and hyper gamy. No matter how much we explain to people on our choice of lifestyle, they will never accept it. We as a society live in denial. No one is cautious.No one wants to acknowledge false cases related to dowry, domestic violence etc etc.No one wants to accept that the institution of marriage has broken down.

This is the reason why MGTOW lifestyle is not accepted by the larger society. But here I ask one simple question? Are we breaking the law or committing a crime by being a MGTOW. Is remaining single and not getting married a grave crime? NO!!! The legal system does not have any problem. Our lifestyle is not harming anyone , so why care.

Just remember, If you are a MGTOW, you have the strength and courage to live an independent life, something that majority of the Indian men cannot do or still dream about. You are exploring yourself and going ahead by focusing on what you want and where you wish to be. So go ahead and live that MGTOW lifestyle.

As far the society is concerned, it can go to hell. 

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day promise to be back with a lot more.

My Quora post on why I am still single-Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

For a long time I wanted to write an answer to this question but was hesitant. Finally I have picked up the strength to write. Please find my profile below:

Age: 36

Qualification: Dual Masters in Management

Designation: Manager-Human Resources in a reputed Organization

CTC: The best as per industry norms

Then why I am I still single? Because I am an adult orphan! Don;t have parents or any other family support (lost my parents at a young age). A self made man who has achieved everything on his own (not boasting about it). Unfortunately in our society a man , his character and image is defined by by his family background and not by his individuality.

Most of my late teens and 20’s have been spent on getting a decent education and building a career. I started looking out for marriage in my late 20’s but it never materialized. I have shared by own experiences on finding a suitable match on matrimonial websites. You can search my answer by going through my profile.

Society does not consider me as a marriage material as I am an adult orphan. With no family background, no one would consider me, certainly not the people who state they come form a decent, respectable and reputed families and are equally looking for guys belonging from a respectable family. The moment people realize that I have no family background, they back out. In my case to cut the long story short, due to family conflicts my extended family does not want to support me. I guess over the years we have become distant and drifted apart.

PRAGMATIC AND STOICAL ATTITUDE

At 19 when a major tragedy occurs in someones life, he/she has to mature overnight and take responsibilities.The same happened with me. Over the years I have developed an attitude towards life filled with pragmatic stoicism. Some people find my behavior to be negative, cynical and pessimistic which is not the case. There is nothing wrong is being positive but one can certainly not live in a Utopian world filled with fantasy. Unfortunately I come across a majority that is still living in the world of Bollywood films.

At 36, I myself don’t have any high expectations form a future partner. I just want a simple homely woman who can be by companion cum best friend. My demands are normal. I don’t expect any dowry or a lavish wedding ceremony, just a court marriage or marriage in a temple. Having a middle class mentality , I can provide a comfortable living to my spouse.

I am blunt and straight forward to the point when I state my expectations to potential interests. In a world filled with people who speak sweet and sugar coated lies, my blunt reality often sounds acerbic.

I refuse to compromise on certain things when it comes to marriage. I don’t prefer divorcees, single mothers and left over women (women whom no one wants to marry). Considering my own background some people have told me that I should have an open mind and broaden my options. Why? I am not a divorcee. I am not a single father. I am not a left over man. I don’t want to marry a woman who is desperate just because her biological clock is ticking or there is a peer/society pressure one her to get married.

Being an adult orphan, I am often taken for granted. There are some families who just want to dump their daughters/sisters on me and wash away their responsibilities. Yes there are such people and they exist on both sides (males and females). A woman post 30 not able to get married even after repeated efforts does bring frustrations on the family.

I often get referred to divorcees.Now I don’t have a problem with that but the cautious person within me makes me ask the female divorce and her parents that they show me the copy of the divorce decree from her first marriage. And then it is BINGO! They back out. Some find it offensive that I asked for a divorce decree. Now in times of false dowry and domestic violence cases filled by our empowered women, I tread a cautious path. And then most of the divorcees that I have met seem to be a depressed and dejected lot. Looks like they have still not come out of their divorce.

I chose not to marry a single mother no matter how good she may be. I have no interest in playing the role of a step father or being a financial support system cum ATM card for THE PROUD SINGLE MOTHER. Seems like these single moms only want a man with no children. They won’t marry a single father or a elder man. The last thing I want is to have a step child treat me like an unwanted piece of trash,

I strongly refuse to play by the rules of the girl and her parents. Some people think that they can mold/change me so that I live my life as my their terms and conditions and meet their expectations. I don’t entertain unwanted and unsolicited advice on how I should change my lifestyle just because it suits the requirement of the girl and her parents.

I don’t understand why I should relocate to the girl’s hometown. WHY? As per the Indian custom , it is the girl who should be relocating to the husband’s place and not vice versa. I am not aiming for a career oriented woman who wants to climb the corporate ladder or is in the IT industry hence finds it difficult to relocate. A woman doing a normal job can always find a new one a new place or she can chose not to work. Now if some parents are so concerned about their daughter’s safety (unwilling to relocate), then they should consider a man from their city itself.

At 36, I am a mature adult and prefer to speak to a woman above 30 in a one to one conversation. But that does not happen. In 90 percent of the cases, it is either the parents of siblings who converse with me.If after crossing 30 a woman is not confident to initiate a conversation what is the point? It seems that all these single independent confident women develop some sort of cold feet. Even if the daughter is 32–35 years old her parents will talk to you as if she was a 20 year old novice girl. Seriously!!!! C’mon dude! Accept the fact that your daughter is a grown up mature women and not a little girl anymore.

Being an independent self made man, I do expect an woman with an independent thinking mature enough to take her own life decisions and is street smart. This does not mean that one should be highly educated as I have come across such highly educated women who are jobless dumb retards.I am yet to come across a strong willed woman who has a humble feminine grace. Women often complain that they come across 30 plus Indian men who are immature, childish, pampered mamma’s boys but take it from me there are equally the same number of thirty plus women who still behave like teenagers living in a fantasy world, spoilt and pampered daddy’s princesses who cannot face the challenges of real life.

I don’t believe in hookups, affairs and one night stands. I am not a playboy or a Casanova. I don;t believe in chasing young girls. I can;t develop physical intimacy with woman unless I have a strong emotional connection with her.

At 36 I am still a virgin and not embarrassed about it. Some men advise me to visit a brothel or go to to Thailand for sex tourism. Indian brothels are filthy and there is a high chance of getting infected with STDs. I don’t believe in wasting my hard of money on such things.

I don’t own a property and am currently living on rent. Marriage alliances only wants a guy who has his own apartment. I fail to understand this logic. Living on rent is far more cheaper than buying a flat that adds a monthly burden of EMI’s. I intend to buy a flat when I decide to shift to a place when I feel I can spend the rest of my life, Living in a rented apartment is not a disgrace.

I have the personality of a sigma male. While I don’t have a dominating nature, I believe that in a relationship the man should have an upper hand.This does not mean that the woman should be subdued. Many important decisions can be taken through joint consensus. I don’t like being dominated or being taken for granted.I can’t be like today’s beta Indian husbands who suck up to their wives and play the role of a second fiddle/cum pet dog to their wives, they typical manginas.

So this is why I am single and believe me , I am not alone or lonely because for the last 12 years I have have the support of this woman (pic below)

She came in my life as a friend and has now become my sister, mentor, mother, parent and guardian angel. She has played a crucial role in my growth and development. She represents on my behalf as a family member and not only her, her husband , sister and parents collectively play the role of a family.

Sadly our narrow minded society does not understand or accept this.People fail to see that there is something beyond blood/family relations.Bonds of friendship are stronger than blood relations.People don’t understand the concept of foster families and I don’t need to explain myself.

Mind you, this is not a rant of frustration or a desperate cry to seek sympathy or validation from anyone.

And if there is any like minded person who wishes to associate with me, please feel free to message me.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth

Think a 1000 times before commenting and criticizing a single Indian man-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Our society is really strange. It expects people to fall in line and blindly follow all its norms and traditions.Those who don't follow the norms are taunted and criticized.The same happens with single Indian men who choose not to get married.

In an open letter I would like to convey the grievances that the single Indian men have towards the married folks and society.

It seems that passing cheap comments on single Indian men has become a common behavioral trait of the married Indian folks.These people don't even known why some men chose to stay single for their entire lives.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing is a beast of burden in his family who has single handedly taken all responsibilities.He has got his siblings educated and married them off, additionally he is also taking care of his elderly parents.In meeting huge family responsibilities, he sacrificed his own personal life. This is his side of the story, something that married folks never cared to ask understand.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing is still nursing a broken heart, it may have been a case of an unrequited love, it may have been the case of a strong affection between two individuals that never turned into a life long relationship.This man could never get over his past and has decided to remain single.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing is a divorcee/separated individual having undergone pain and torture, courtesy: our police and judicial system that has time and again been biased towards women. A marriage that went sour, a wife that turned toxic, a women that went on a revenge mode  using the laws to make the life of the man and his family miserable. A huge alimony and maintenance was  paid.Emotional trauma associated with the separation of his child was unbearable for this man. A total destruction of marriage dreams that the man had seen. All this has made the man extremely bitter and he has decided never to get married again.

The single Indian man whom you are are criticizing comes from a dysfunctional family. He has faced physical and emotional trauma since his childhood. One fine day he left his dysfunctional family for good and settled in a big city, achieved professional success but could not get married as he did not want to show his dysfunctional family. The great Indian society does not accept a man who does not have a family.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing has gained wisdom and maturity. he has realized that marriage is not worth it and has decided to go the Indian Mend going their own way (INDIAN MGTOW) route in order to live  a peaceful life minus tension or drama.

So my dear married Indian folks before you make fun of the single Indian man think 1000 times because every single Indian man has a story and I am sure that you don't have the courage to accept, digest or even tolerate his story.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

MGTOW

My bluntness and honesty is never liked

Yes!!!!! I am blunt and awfully honest. I speak about the reality. I speak the truth. I think the Indian society does not like this.It seems that everyone is used to sugar coated fantasy.

Being a single Indian man, I have my own thinking and my own way of living life. I don't bother others and expect others to reciprocate the same. But it does not happen. My Indian fellowmen and women have have a habit of constantly fingering me. On top of that I  get referred to unknown people looking for a prospective alliance for their daughters or sisters.

I have my own opinion about the Indian society and marriage.And in my opinion both have degraded to an abysmal level. My reason for staying single is strongly justified but my views are often found acerbic by people. I hardly bother about it.

When people speak to me regarding alliances, I speak my mind.I tell the truth about myself and put down my expectations very clearly and what I want. People talking to me often find it strange, some have also found me rude or offensive. Reality is not accepted by people. And that is the way I am going to remain. 

Experience has made me a pragmatist and blunt honesty did not kill anyone. On the contrary people realize the clarity from the start. 

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out for the day and promise to be back with a lot more. 

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-Not the fault of the single Indian men

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer of would like to claim innocence for single Indian man

Yes my dear friends, hold your words and keep your tongues under control before you pass loose comments on an Indian man who is living a single life. Many men in Indian have started living alone out of choice and destiny and in majority cases it is just not their fault.

It is not his fault that he grew up in a dysfunctional family and one day decided to leave such a toxic family in search of a happy life.

It is not his fault that his family separated at a very young age and he had to witness a bitter divorce battle fought out in the courts. The very impact of a broken family portrayed a negative image about marriage and he decided to remain happily single ever after.

It is not his fault that he lost his parents and was orphaned at a young age.

It is not his fault because his girlfriend whom he loved dearly betrayed and married someone else.

It is not his fault that his dear wife asked for a divorce and took huge amount from him in the name of alimony.

It is not his fault that he has read, studied and researched on more that 15 plus anti male laws in this country and convinced himself that marriage is an expensive proposition.

So , to the people of this disgusting, hypocrite Indian society, before you pass your third class and third rate comments on single Indian men , especially blaming them for living a single life, I kindly request you to think twice.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day. Will be back with a lot more.