Celebrating Diwali the MGTOW way: Bhaveen Sheth Indian MGTOW

Greetings my friends and wishing you all a very happy Diwali. I hope you guys enjoyed. As a veteran MGTOW, I also celebrated Diwali in my own way. Got up, prayed, read and watched some documentaries and again prepared for the evening. Did a small Pooja, lit up diyas and then collected all the fire crackers that I had got and went to terrace. I was bursting fire crackers after a long time.Don't recollect when was the last time I did it. I felt nostalgic, childhood memories flashed in front of me. But then who cares, life has to be lived. As a MGTOW i celebrated the festival all by myself. Photographs are depicted below:

A lot of Indian men are not fit for marriage: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

I have come to realize that a lot of Indian men are not fit for marriage or capable to handle a married life that comes with family responsibilities.

Over the last three years I have been observing a trend on Linkedin where many men are writing distress messages. Most of the messages are like this:

"I have some xyz many years of experience. I am desperately looking for a job since last six months, 1 year. I don't have money to pay for my groceries, I can't pay money for my children's school fees. I have home loans and car loans to pay. I am extremely distressed. Please help me.

Being in Human Resources, I can understand what happens to men who don't have jobs, especially those who are married and have children. No one should ever be put in such a difficult situation.

But then I rationalize and have a reality check just to realize that many men are just mediocre in their fields/specializations. They have never up skilled or upgraded themselves. They never realized the changing dynamics of the job market, they did not introspect their shortcomings. Taking their jobs for granted, they tried to fulfill their dreams on credit and loans without realizing that one day their world would come crashing.

Today just having a job and earning a salary is not enough. Today the requirements are not just Roti, Kapda and Makaan but it is quality, style, brand and status. You are required to have that 2 BHK Flat, a mid segment car, children who will be sent to good schools, tutions, online tutorial programs, weekend dine outs, annual vacations, lavish social functions. And mind you this is the upper middle class that I am talking about.Most of the distress messages on Linkedin are from people who are upper middle class.

Yes , we are facing recessions and inflation, yes,  we had two bad years of the COVID-Pandemic, yes, there were job cuts, pink slips served and what not. But still, there is a saying "Survival of the Fittest". The competent survive and thrive , the incompetent and mediocre perish.

In India, when a man gets a job and starts earning a decent salary, the family members start looking out for a bride. The man does not protest as he is deluded by the prospect of marriage and that wonderful beautiful wife. I wish these men had just waited for some years in understanding themselves, their skills, the job market and its requirements. A single man always has a chance to change specializations, switch organizations and migrate to different cities. He has the freedom to take decisions which a married man cannot. In many ways marriage does bring in mediocrity and complacency in life of men.

When I see distressed married Indian men who are jobless, I realize that a huge percentage of Indian men are not fit for marriage and if you are a single Indian man reading this post, let me tell you that marriage will soon become a luxury that only the rich can afford.(I will be writing a post on this). If you truly want a content, quality and happy life, then remain single and be happy.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDINA MGTOW

It is better to return to an empty house rather have an abusive, toxic and nagging spouse: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

As a single Indian man having lived alone for the last 22 years of my life, I often get asked on how do I come back to an empty house with no one to greet me. How do I manage to live in a house all on my own? To this, I answer that it is better to come back to an empty house rather than have an emotionally abusive, toxic and nagging wife in the house who just treats you like a doormat.

Emotional abuse of married Indian men is a topic that is hardly ever discussed. A lot of married Indian men put up with emotional and physical abuse at the hands of their wives for the sake of their children and society. No married Indian man will ever confess that he is facing emotional abuse and violence due to family reputation and shame. The recent case of Hollywood actor Johnny Depp and Amber Heard highlights the topic of husband's emotional abuse.

I am often asked why I still don't try to get married? At least give it a chance! I just listen and get on with I am doing not bothering at the opinion of people. At this age, solitude and mental peace is all that I want. Solo life and loneliness has made me realize the importance of emotional health. How peaceful is to just be your own self and not having  to live up to the standards of the society. 

I often tell post 30 single Indian men looking for marriage or even the ones in their mid and late 20s to introspect their decision on getting married. I am certainly not against marriage but i advise Indian men to strongly evaluate and analyze their choice of a life partner. It is easy to be blinded and influenced by beauty, looks, fair skin and a good figure. Many Indian men do not see the red flags or rather are not made to see the same considering the fact that in arranged marriages, the women put up their best behaviour.

I have written a write up on emotionally abused husbands in my blog.You may please read the same in order to get a better perspective. 

Our society has rapidly changed in the last 2 decades. Barring the super rich high class, the responsibility of being a provider, protector and caregiver lies with the Indian man. He is indoctrinated with this philosophy since his childhood. Thirty years ago just having a job and bringing salary was the only expectation from the man. Today he is supposed to buy a minimum 2 BHK, a mid segment car, have an annual package of seven figure salary. All this because of comparison and false glorification on social media. Today's new age women expect all the previously mentioned things from a potential spouse as if it were their constitutional right. Now what happens when the expectations of the woman keeps growing even after marriage and the man in spite of all his efforts is not able to live up to her so called dreams and expectations? The answer is comparing with other successful men, nagging, taunts, jibes and emotional abuse.

The last decade has has strongly influenced women, thanks to the easy access to internet and social media. More and more women are having an extreme sense of entitlement and have turned into woke, leftist liberal pseudo feminists. They want all amenities and facilities without really working hard for it. False feminist narratives written by leftist liberals have brainwashed them into thinking that they are a special and a privileged lot. Many of them are not even rooted to their own culture or religion. The current eco-system especially the one seen on social media  only focuses on looks, beauty and fan following. Hence it is not a surprise to see young women making dancing and lip syncing videos on social media just to gain validation and increase followers. Some of them are posting enticing digitally edited photographs in order to gain popularity on social media. Now these girls lack basic life skills including cooking,housekeeping and laundry. For them everything happens at a click of a button through the various apps (zomato, swiggy, big basket). Some are so over pampered by their parents that they can't face the realities of the outside world while others who belong to separated homes develop an intense hatred for their fathers. Some of them are so emotionally messed up that they require psychiatric counselling. Please read this paragraph carefully to get a real insight into what can ruin your life if you oversee the red flags.

When these women reach a marriagable age, their parents look for a suitable match. When presented through online matrimonial apps or family arranged meetings, the men are easily charmed by beauty and looks. Something that should be obnoxious is easily liked by men and found acceptable. Six months into marriage the true colours of the woman come out and then starts the cycle of emotional abuse. 

Today even at 40, I am asked told that there are so many 30 plus single women out there and I should give marriage a chance. I have seen and met many of them and let me tell you,  that barring a few, many of these women have extremely high standards when it comes to a life partner, some of them are still living is a dream world thinking that their charming prince is going to come for them.Others behave like teenagers even after crossing 30. Many of them are not emotionally capable for marriage. Some just want to get married because they want to move out of their parental homes, tired of constant nagging by parents(for being single after30) and being treated as maid by their brothers and sister in laws. Others just want to gain a marital status as they feel left out considering all their friends have gotmarried. Now tell me what happens when marriage just becomes a compromise or an adjustment?

Single Indian men must understand that not getting married is not the end of your life. If you are taking good care of your parents and financially supporting them, then you are doing your dharma of Lord Ram or Shravan. Times have changed and you have an easy access to all kinds of entertainment or engagement. You can go to coffee shops or bars. You can attend book fairs and film festivals, explore new dine outs in your city, catch with your school and college friends. Finally when you come home, you can catch up on reading, your favorite movies and web-series streaming on different platforms, upskill yourself and a lot more.

Today at 40, I look forward to coming back to my home. A strong black coffee awaits me. There is peace and solitude. I am not nagged or criticized. I refuse to live up to the set expectations of another women who is living in my house without contributing anything substantial. I am no longer willing to confirm to the materialistic standards of our society that just believes in splurging money on expensive homes, cars and parties. Where the hell did the concept of minimalism go?

Hence I end this post by stating that it is better to come back to an empty house than to a toxic, nagging and abusive spouse. I sympathize the younger men who are getting married or in the process of getting married. God only knows what they will go through after six months of getting married.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Yes Sir, As per your perception I am a failure: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

 There are many Indian men who take a wise decision to not get married and remain single. It is not necessary for them to have had a bitter heart break and be a loser. Just that they have realized that the institution of marriage is not their cup of tea and they don't have what it takes to take the journey of marriage ahead. To each one his own. And yet Single Indian men are looked upon as incomplete or failures. While the media, time and again has reported on the discriminatory treatment meted out to single Indian women by the Indian society, no one mentions a word  on the similar or maybe worse treatment given to single Indian men. In a satirical and self depreciating write up, I want to share how the larger society perceives us single Indian men. In a first person conversation, I am telling my thoughts to a sir and madam and expressing my views.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I don't understand why have your expressed shock and astonishment when I told you that I am single and unmarried. Why? Is it uncommon for you to come across men like us? Or just because your sons and nephews are happily married and well settled, you are expecting every other man do the same. I can understand, when you were young every man was expected to get married and start a family.

Yes Sir/Madam, In you opinion and thoughts I am a failure, complete failure. I am 40, single, unmarried and childless. I have missed out on boat of marriage and have been condemned to live a miserable life all alone. This is what you think. A man without a wife and children is incomplete and useless. A man without a family has no identity. I can understand.

I don't have a house of my own and live in a rented apartment or may I say , a working men's hostel with a room of my own. In your eyes I am still a young man who has not gained maturity.

You may think I am living a wayward irresponsible life, a man who does not have anyone to take care of or who is not answerable to anyone.

You see, I just own a small care and a mid segment 2 wheeler. My car is Tata Nano, highly unimpressive. It is for my convenience, however as you are a status oriented, you do not appreciate my choice of a car.

Even though I am a thorough gentleman and professional in my conduct with people, you have your own doubts over me. You think that I am an immoral, characterless person. Some of the people of your society even think that I am pervert who has a bad eye on women. Why Sir/Madam? Why do you think so? Have you put all single Indian men in once category?

Whenever I speak on the gender biased laws and inequality face by men in our society, you laugh at me? Why? Can't you accept the reality? I guess you never had to face such a situation but many couples of your age have faced false cases at the hand of their daughter in laws or sister in laws. You just don't understand that I have become more aware of these things through reading and following the Men's rights movement.

You have an objection if I enjoy all by myself ? Why? Are all Indian men expected to get into the unspoken system of slavery that comes in the name of family and marriage? Why should each and every Indian man play the role of a provider and protector? Why can't Indian men enjoy their own time of peace and solitude? What is your problem if we go out and dine out alone at restaurants, go to multiplex all by ourselves and explore new places in India and abroad? Don't we have a life and don't we have the right to enjoy?

Why do you have  a problem if we seek companionship of women? Why are you so hurt? Especially you, the man. Are you jealous that we are having a girlfriend? Why do you call us immoral characterless pervert? Are we harassing or molesting the girls and women in the neighborhood? If there a law that prevents 30 plus single Indian man to be in a relationship with  a woman. If a relationship is out of mutual consent, why then are your objecting?  You people especially living in residential housing complexes and  apartments behave like the moral police. You remind me of the Mutawah (moral police) in Saudi Arabia or the Basij Militia in Iran who are officially given the responsibility of upholding the moral values of the society. Close to India, we have the Bajrag Dal that harasses young couples siting in parks and targets them during Valentine's Day. Somehow I feel that you too must have a member of the such moral protection groups during your younger years.

You challenge my manliness as I did not produce any kids. Why man? Are kids a proof of ones manliness? No wonder we have now reached a population of Rs 130 crores as each and every Indian man wants to prove his manliness. In India, men just have kids without giving any thought of whether he is emotionally and financially prepared to take care and raise that child. You see sir, we Indians are not practical people, we are emotional people, driven by a false sense of pride. But then again why do you have a problem if I have no children? I know that behind my back you call me a napunsak nalla (impotent wasted man). I don't give a damn to what you think.

You state that I am living a boring and miserable life just because I have no family. Tell me sir, are the married men living the best years of their lives/ I see most of them concerned about the finances and welfare of their families. Most of them have been trapped into the vicious cycle of care, education and home loans. On the other hand I am free, I am not under any debt. Perhaps you don't understand that there is something known as mental peace and emotional health. We Indians don't care about it as we feel it is a western concept. However most of the married men are currently going through some form of emotional distress as they are burdened by responsibilities. I have none, I am a free man. My mental health is so good. I am not compared or nagged by a wife as I don't have any.

Yes sir/madam. This is what I thought of sharing. I am representing and speaking on behalf of many single men like me who have decided not to get married and remain single. We don't want any kind of help or assistance from anyone. We are happy being on our own. We are the followers of the MGTOW Lifestyle. 

I end my post by stating that birds who are caged for their entire life will always think that flying is a disease. This, sir/madam, applies to you also.

Thank you and have a nice day

Bhaveen Sheth 

Indian MGTOW

Remembering all those humiliating and insulting matrimonial meetings: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

I like to write down and share my own experiences on the insulting and humiliating matrimonial meetings that I have faced during my 20s and 30s. I was then a young indealistic guy, fresh out in the world after completing my post graduation and starting a new job. Like all men of my age I dreamt of getting married and starting a family of my own.

Little did I know what was in store for me, I used to think that being a self made man would make me looked upon as a respectable person but that was not the case. In our country people judge you based on your family background. It is what defines you as a person. Sadly I did not have any. Being an adult orphan , with no family to represent me, put me in a difficult position.

The parents of potential brides judged me, my integrity, morals, behaviour and character. No one was willing to consider me, I guess they had trust issues. What is your background? Where is the rest of your family? How can we give away our daughter to a man who does not have any family? You must be a fraud?  Don't you have anyone from your family to represent you? How is that possible? 

What I did not understand is why did these people agree to speak to me or meet me in the first place when I had clearly stated everything about my background? 

I also got matrimonial interests from women whom no would marry. I believe they were a Hobson's choice. They were not getting a match from a so called suitable or decent families and they only had me as a choice. I guess in India , orphans have no options.

In my early 30s, I decided to live a single life. By the time I turned  34, the MGTOW movement had come to India and the JIO Internet blitzkring took place in 2016. More and more single Indian men started connecting with each other online and shared the benefits of MGTOW lifestyle. I found joy in taking up the MGTOW lifestyle. My involvement in men's rights activism and subsequent talks with aggrieved men fighting matrimonial disputes/cases made me realize that marriage in India was just a sham.

Today, I am extremely happy at the lifestyle decision I made.I look back over the years and laugh that those meetings, yes they were insulting and humiliating but it was good that marriage never happened. It also made me realize how materialistic people are in the Indian society. While forging an alliance with people , they are only looking for their own long term benefits.

This was my experience and I thought of sharing the same. I will also be writing a post on the humiliations that today's men face during matrimonial meetings.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Enjoying Saturday Evening: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

So what would a Saturday evening look like for a veteran Indian MGTOW aka Single Man. I guess it is all about relaxation ,entertaintment and good food.

I generaly try to catch up some good shows and movies on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Along with this I place an order through Zomato for some good food. Saturday evenings are peaceful filled with fun and entertainment. Single life has its own benefits and I am making the best of it. I just thought of giving a glimpse of my life to fellow single Indian men. 

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Transitioning into an Adult Orphan: Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

By the time you have reached 40 , you are very much an adult having attained maturity. It is another thing that there are still a large number of Indian men who have still not matured even after crossing 40.

I can confidently that I have transitioned into orphan adulthood. I have become more aware, concious and have attained the required experience to deal with the challenges that comes with living a life as a single man and orphan. Twenty years ago, I was a novice trying to figure out my way in life but that is no longer the case anymore. I have become a veteran, hardended by the difficulties that I have experienced.

One of the most important lessons that I have learnt is to focus on myself without bothering about what others say or do. I have my own life to work on and I am not here to please and appease others.

I have gradually accepted some realities of life that will stay for a long time. Loneliness and solitude is one of them. The second is to take up and face challenges all by myself. No one is going to come to help me. Years of living the life of an orphan has made me realize that no one comes to help people like us, we are just left on our own, forsaken by everyone. A bitter truth I have accepted.

Marriage will remain an impossible dream, just a fantasy that will never a positive outcome. I can be labelled as negative or cynical but I say that I am a pragmatist. All these years of having met these so called suitable alliances for marriage has taught me one thing; Orphans don't have the right to get married, majority of these so called people belonging to respectable families have their status and reputations to protect. Why would they want to marry their daughtes/sisters to orphans. Even at this age women who have crossed 35 and are looking for suitable alliances are not interested in orphans. It amazes me that even at the age of 40, I am not seen as an indivdual adult.

Gradually I am under going the process of dehumanization, that of unbecoming a human being. It has been years that I have felt the touch, embrace and affection of another human being. Even today as an Adult Orphan this is something I miss a lot and dream if such a thing was possible for me. But reality is not a dream world especially for orphans. I wish if people understood the kind of internal turmoil that orphans go through. That feeling of not being human even when you are phsyically a human, the lack of expression of feelings, unable to receive love and affection from another fellow human. The lack of inclusion within the larger society, of having no one to appreciate you on a personal level. Yes it hurts, hurts a lot and I have accepted all this stoically. With whom will I share my grievances? Even god have given up on us.

I ask myself many times "Would I have become a good father or a caring and dutiful husband if I had got married?" This is something difficult to answer. For the last two decades I am totally cut off from a normal family set up. I have missed out on social occasions, festivals, gathering and a lot more that comes with being a normal person who has a complete family. I don't even understand the importance of some social functions. Those initial years of being an orphan were difficult, gradually with the help of my two best mentors, I overcame my grief and moved on in order to chart a career path. However I did miss out on those important years when it comes to personal growth in realtion to family and society. At this point when marriage is ruled out, I will have to continue a solo life. Being a husband and a father is not written in my destiny. I guess that is life and sometimes it is not fair to everyone.

One of the most difficulties of being an adult orphan is always the need to be strong, the need to carry out battles all by yourself, the challenge of facing difficulties all alone. One cannot be weak or vulnerable. You don't have anyone to show your vulnerable side. Over the course of years it becomes a huge burden. The need to constantly be vigilant is not something that normal people go through. I have often seen that the support of a family does play an important role in facing challenges and diffculties that arise in the course of our lives, unfortunately as adult orphans we are on our own and we have to be self-dependent.

Of course, with everything there is always a silver linge. Being an Adult Orphan without a family gives you the freedom to chart the course of your life the way you want. I have no longer to live up to the exepectations of a family or a society. I feel like a free man who is only answerable to himself. Mental peace and a positive emotional health is something that I possess. I am not facing the stress and tension that today's married men (husbands and fathers) face. I have no one to feed or take care of other than myself. Small things and experiences make me happy. I have realized that a minimalistic living can make you content. I no longer compare myself with others as I focus on making a better version of myself every day. Yesterday has gone, today is there and tomorrow is someting I look forward to.

As I finish writing this post, I look forward to many things. I want to rise in my career and be looked upon as a thorough professional who knows his subject, I want to be remembered as a mentor who shaped the careers and lives of may people. On the personal front I want to help as many people as I can, be it orphans or single Indian men in living a happy and content life. I want to explore places in India, read as many books as I can, watch the best of the movies and web series available on popular OTT platforms. I have promised myself that I will never becomes one of those unfit pot bellied uncles in their 40s and 50s that one comes across. I want to be a fit and lean man and be looked with awe and respect. Yes respect. something that all orphans want and are yet denied just because they don;t have parents. 

This is my life and I have accepted all the challenges and difficiulties of an Adult Orphan, I have matured and transitioned myself into an veteran who has been hardended by experience.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW