Wisdom from Swami Sivananada Sarawati on living a MGTOW Life: Bhaveen Sheth

I came across a post on a popular MGTOW group where screenshots from a book written by Swami Sivananda Sarawati. He gives wisdom to men in not getting married and remaining single for life. Please view the posts below:

All single Indian men must read this understand the reality.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

I don't regret my decision of remaining single and following the MGTOW Lifestyle: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

At 38, I have no regrets of being single and taking up the MGTOW lifestyle. Yes!! You have heard me right! A decade ago, I must have been feeling insecure and wanting to get married but 10 years on I am extremely happy that I took the decision of being single.

At 30, I was pretty much sure that I wanted to remain single and not get married. In between though, I had some hope/feeling that maybe,just maybe, someone would come across in my life and I would get married, but that never happened.

In 2015 at the age of 33 I got introduced to the MGTOW movement (Men Going Their Own way). This movement finally arrived in India and started having followers. In 2016, there was a marked transformation in the way Indian people would use internet data, thanks to the Jio revolution. Mobile Internet became accessible to the common Indian man and the awareness of MGTOW lifestyle spread. Information and advice eventually spread. I too gained a good insight on the benefits of following the MGTOW lifestyle.

Daily I browse social media and news websites only to find out that another common Indian man committed suicide due to harassment by spouse and in-laws, another Indian man and his family has been falsely accused of false cases related to dowry and domestic violence, another innocent Indian man was killed by his own wife and lover. So much for the so called holy and pious institution of marriage.

At present marriage in India is nothing but a materialistic alliance based of greed and benefits. The man has to play the role of a provider and care taker. I have often asked myself " What is in it for me?" What benefits am I going to get if I were to get married?  I am not able to find an answer.

The reality is that married men have a difficult time. The initial years of marriage may be good but later years are not easy. I have nothing against married men, they made a choice and I am have made mine.

At 38, I have mental peace, a prized possession that many Indian men are deprived of. No more taunts and criticism at home. A stillness and tranquility in  my small flat that I currently stay in. No useless and unwanted social functions to attend to. No requirement to living up to the expectations of the Indian society. Live the way you want. 

Companionship, soulmate and life partner is just a myth and highly overrated. I don't feel lonely as I have many things to do and keep myself engaged. Life is a journey and one must go on. MGTOW lifestyle is the ultimate path of liberation and freedom for Indian men if they want it. 

I choose not to be a slave of a system/institution that ill treats men, disrespects them and robs them of their entire wealth in family courts. Lakhs of Indian men have faced it and are currently facing it. Why take the risk?

With radical feminism and feminazism in our society, MGTOW is the lifestyle sane Indian men can adopt and follow. 

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

My dear single Indian men, believe me, marriage is not worth it: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Greetings from the Indian MGTOW!!!

I hope you all are doing well. Please be safe and protect  yourself. The pandemic is getting severe and cases are rising day by day.

Today's post is exclusively dedicated  to my young readers, men between 25-30 and above who are in a dilemma to get married. There must be a lot pressure on you, be it peer, family or society. But take this advice, an advice from a 38 year old veteran MGTOW, marriage is not worth it, not in today's times of radical feminism and militant feminazism.

You may be thinking a lot. You must be having a dream of having that destination wedding, a luxurious honeymoon, a beautiful married life and most important , a loving and caring partner but believe me it is just not worth it. Loving and  caring partner is a myth. It does not exist, please don't fool yourself. You must be looking at the social media posts of your friends who are happily married and be thinking that one day you too will find you soul mate. Social media is big lie, a distortion of reality. 

Have you asked yourself why you are in demand? Because you are young and in your prime. You have an education and a good degree, a well paying job in a good organization, you are rising in your career and you have a good designation. What if you did not have all this? I guess even the street dog would have never asked for you.

And still there is more that you have to do if you are to get married. You need to buy a house of your own, even buy a car because today's entitled princesses demand it. This will be followed by a dream wedding and an expensive honeymoon for which you will have to sacrifice two or three months salary. Maybe you will have to maintain an expensive lifestyle after getting married because your madamji wife wants it.

Is it worth??? I guess not. Ask what value addition is the woman bringing in your life other than her good looks and fair skin. Can she take care of the home? Can she cook? Can she clean? Can she do the laundry or manage groceries? Is she accommodating? Can she live a simple lifestyle?

All the above questions are difficult to answer. But why make a major lifestyle change if there is no value addition? Why spend a lot money to meet the demands and fulfills the dreams of another person who will never respect and appreciate you?

At the age of 38 I have come across numerous men who are stuck in dysfunctional and dead end marriages. They are not happy. Why do you want to make your life miserable? Do you want to become like them?

Live single, live alone and follow the MGTOW lifestyle. In the journey of life if you come across someone who is compatible and understands you, you can get married. Your choice. However at this moment just don't get married just because everyone is getting married. It is not worth it.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

As Adult Orphans we are not complicated, you just need to understand us and give us a chance: Bhaveen Sheth- DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Adult orphans don't need any introduction. We are a small community that exists in India. We are in our 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. We are mature enough to handle responsibilities, way ahead of the people belonging to our age bracket and mentally strong to face difficult situations and challenges. Yes, we do exist and live like normal human beings. Some of us have lost our loved ones in a tragedy and some have left their dysfunctional families for good with no intention of returning back. We are a minute or minuscule population that exists.

The country and society that we live in is not easy. We as adult orphans are wrongly perceived and badly treated. Guess we are the odd ones out. Our society is not willing accept or accommodate different people. As Adult Orphans we are often mistrusted, doubted and looked upon with suspicion. Our own personality no matter how unique it may be or our individualism does not matter. The fact that we stand on our own feet is not respected. Our character is judged as we do not have parents or a family. We are  not dangerous people just because we don't have a family background. We are not anti--social elements that pose a threat to the society. And still we are wrongly perceived. The reality of discrimination and ill treatment strikes when you move into the real world after your college like it happened in my case. I guess I was just naive. Companionship was denied. Looking at happy families having fun made be realize what I lacked. Empty homes was what I came back to and lonely weekends awaited me. Like all youngsters in their late 20's, I too had a dream, a desire, a feeling that I would get married one day and have a loving and caring spouse. However I was not prepared for what life had in store for me. During that search for a matrimonial alliance and a lifelong companion I was rejected, insulted and humiliated, courtesy: No parents or family background.Initially it was difficult to accept such ill treatment, later I got used to it. Over the years I gave up on marriage. For me, self respect and esteem mattered more, I did not want to loose it. I accepted my fate and became stoic.  Even then people have a problem with me because I am still not married. I am often given unwanted advice, told that I am too rigid or have high standards. These very people who given me sound advises will never want their daughters, sisters or female relatives to marry me. Behind my back I am often ridiculed for not being married. One statement was " He does not have parents and he is not married". Over the years I have lived to learn a content life enjoying my own company. That is also liked by people. I don't care for what people think because majority of them are flawed. And yet they perceive us as humans having negative traits.

This post is on behalf of all those adult orphans who are presently fighting their own battles on their own and silently suffering. I just wanted to say that we too are human beings,we also have feeling and emotions.Fact is that no one listens to our problems and no one care how we feel. We brood alone and suffer in silence, our emotions are repressed and feelings are curbed. In spite of all this we have to put a smile and a normal demeanor and face the world. Not many can understand us We carry a burden, an inheritance of loss and suffering. The loss of our loved ones or the curse of being born on a toxic dysfunctional family whom we left forever never to return back. People with normal families can't understand or associate much with us. It is easy to pass judgement without giving much thought. We are not here for your superficial sympathy, we don't like it. Some of us may be introvert and take time opening up to others. The loss of a protective family cover makes us vigilant, we try to be extra careful. Mentally we are above the age of our peers. Loss of loved ones and difficult challenges makes us a mature person.

We are human beings and don't want to be treated as sub-humans. We lost our parents or were born into toxic dysfunctional families. This was our fate or destiny. We can't be blamed for it. Incidents happen, What matters is what we made out our lives. If we have done well in our educations and careers, then why are we not treated equally?  On the personal front when we live a perfectly normal and healthy lives, then why are we perceived wrongly? Why do the majority consider us as abnormal people having problems? Why are we considered unstable and untrustworthy? Having a family or parents does not guarantee character, morals or the ability to take responsibilities and face challenges in life. By 38 ,I have come across many cases where people in spite of having parents and families have trouble completing their education, finding a job, keep the job, handling marriage and living a stable life. The parents keep on being supportive even when their children have turned into adults. I have come across grown up men being mamma's boys and grown up women being daddy's little princesses. I have often seen these grown up people in spite of having a family support finding it difficult to navigate through situations in their lives. If I were to compare myself and almost all other adult orphans, we are far better is living independent lives. However this factor is never acknowledged by the larger society.

There are times I wish that the majority would just understand us for who we are before passing judgement on us. Every one has his/her own story and before passing comments it is important for us to understand a person in context to his/her background. Giving sympathy to us is not something we want, we are tired of it. Not having parents does not make us characterless. Like all normal human beings we crave for companionship and a sense of belonging, something that has been denied to us. We make friends maybe limited friends but these are the friends who understand us without being prejudiced or judgmental, these are the friends who become a family to us willing to take a stand for us whenever required. We don't want to force our way, thoughts and ideals on anyone, we will go with the flow. Many of us struggle for find companionship in the opposite gender. It happens. The loss of our loved ones leaves a vacuum within us that is not easy to fill. It takes years for us to come in terms with what we have lost. The world filled with manipulative and materialistic people makes us vigilant.We have to be extra careful. Some of us go on being alone even in their 30s and 40s without getting married. It is not that they never tried to to get married. Everyone tries. However our society goes only by superficial appearances and show off. Lying and exaggeration appeals people, tell them the truth and they won't even look at you. Any adult orphan who is in his/her 30's and 40's will understand this. If they had ever tried for marriage they would have gone through their own rounds of humiliations and embarrassments.

This post is not about me telling my condition or begging for some alliance. No!!! This is on behalf of all those adult orphans who are living their lives and fighting for survival. As human beings and citizens of this country we have the right to live our lives, we have the right to be happy and we have to right to enjoy. We ask for nothing more than acceptance and equality, nothing more and nothing less.

We as adult orphans are not complicated, you just need to understand us.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Whatsapp Group of my UG Batchmates-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

This COVID-19 Pandemic has made many people slow down  their otherwise hectic lives. The lock down imposed in many countries has forced people to sit in their homes and look into their lives. This is a time where people have thought of catching up with old friends, school and college classmates.

Hence an idea came in the minds of one of my UG batch mates to create a group of all college mates for the year 2000 or what I would call the millennium batch. Initially I was reluctant to share my number but later agreed. I was also added to the group. Half of my batch mates are abroad and the rest are in India. Somethings never change and so do some people. In spite of Facebook and Linkedin being available, we have lost touch with each other. We are friends on Facebook but still don't talk to each other. We wish each other a happy birthday or occasionally like a post shared by someone on Facebook. Guess we are too busy in our lives now.

Coming back to the topic, I may have been added to the group but I choose to remain silent. I don't want to have any conversation on the forum. My college mates have remained the same. In the past during my travels in India when I met some of them,  they have had nothing but criticism for me. Why? Well, because I changed my career path and I am still single, unmarried and don't have any children. During college times I used to have this NORTH INDIAN group that stuck together and was judgmental about others. They just gossiped all the time. I being myself used to live a solo life and enjoyed my own company. This meant eating alone, watching movies alone and spending time reading good books and magazines. I was not liked just because I was not a part of their group. 

The situation has not changed. They still remain judgmental and I don't care. Some of them want show off on the strides they have made and how much they have gone ahead in life. I guess we all have our own journey and paths to lead and they cannot be compared. I am happy with my life.

I am living the MGTOW life and have the independence and mental peace that my married batch mates may or may not have. In my 30's, I am travelling, doing solo backpacking across India, have started by baby steps as a biker. I am also planning to take up body sculpting and long distance running to build up strength and stamina. 

These people may call me a a loner like they always did but I call it freedom. I chose quality of life over quantity. My bucket list is different from others and I don't want to compare.

In post COVID times, I have decided to socially distance myself of negative and toxic people and choose not to interact with them anymore.

The group will be active for a few days, maybe a month or two. The moment normal life resumes, people will stop interacting aand this group will become inactive and dormant like rest of the groups that are on our whatspp application. 

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

When Parents destroy theirs sons lives in the name of marriage-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Who says that only women are forced into marriages? Indian men face the same problem, It is just that they don't make a hue and cry over it.

Countless lives of Indian men have been destroyed by wrong and toxic marriages. Men have suffered emotional breakdown to the extent that some of them  committed suicide. Many lost professional opportunities and others just became nervous wrecks. In my interactions with many male rights activists who had gone through difficult marriages and are now divorced or separated, I realized that in most of the cases the parents wanted their sons to marry, even after a terrible divorce the parents once again want their sons to get remarried.

Guess some people never learn their lessons.

The mentality of Indian parents is different. They treat their sons like some kind of personal property or a golden goose that needs to be cashed upon when time is right. Indian men struggle hard sacrificing their teen years and burning the midnight oil in order to get good grades followed by admission in good colleges and later campus placements or a job in a good organization. Some even end up getting a good salary package. Just a year in the job and the parents are after the son to get him married. Most of the parents are proud of their sons achievements, nothing wrong with that, however they problem starts when it becomes a part of their ego. The son has not even settled well into his work and the talk of marriage starts. Biodatas, horroscopes and photographs are exchanged and the ground work for matrimony starts. This is followed by visits to the prospective brides house and gradually the meetings take place.

There are times when I feel that the parents are in a hurry to get their sons married. I fail to understand why? This is especially in the case where the sons are highly successful, you know, the IAS-IPS-Government Services-IIT-IIM-Engineering-MBA-B-SchoolPassouts-Doctors-Computer Specialists, all earning good salary packages along with perks and benefits. These folks are looked upon as winners or super successful people.

Of course the marriage takes place and the bride is a good looking beautiful dame that even the husband's best friend would get jealous of. The engagement and marriage takes place followed by a mind blowing honeymoon. Then a different life starts and it is called a married life and this is where the reality sets in. I don't know what goes wrong but the marriages comes to an abrupt end. This is followed by divorce in courts and visits to the police stations where false allegations are filed by the bride and her parents. Many men can't take it and they end up committing suicide. Go to any of the websites or blogs dedicated to Indian men's rights and read the stories where the husbands committed suicide. You will observe a similarity: The men were well educated successful professionals.

This write up in not about why successful men commit suicide or why does an arranged marriage fixed by two families end up into a disaster. This is about the parents of the men who somehow force their sons into such marriages just because they want to fulfill their dreams and expectations, just because they want to show others about the fanfare related to the marriage ceremony or in many cases ask for a huge dowry, mind you, this is not in all the cases but yes money does exchange hands in such kind of marriages. Problem is that most of the Indian parents want to live their lives through their children. This makes them extremely dominant and controlling. They don't want to give a free hand to their sons so that they can take their own independent decision.

Have you ever met the parents of such super successful men? The false pride and ego they carry can offend anyone. They leave no stone unturned in putting down those who are not as successful as their sons. They get delusional that their sons are special and above the rest. It is this thinking that leads them on the path of destruction. Just because their son is successful, they are entitled to a privileged treatment and expect the best. They feel that their son deserves the most beautiful girl available who is also educated and will play the role of a typical housewife and daughter in law. In order to cash in on the success of their son, they even expect a hug dowry or a royal wedding just to show off in front of their friends and relatives.

Unfortunately they are not prepared to see the destruction when the marriage goes sour. Rarely are such marriages resolved amicable. Huge alimony is paid to settle the divorce, not to forget countless visits to police stations and courts. The son ends up becoming the victim of his parents decision taken due to ego, greed and false pride.

I wish these parents were more in touch with reality, I wish these parents could make a visit to the family courts in their cities and towns to have first hand experience on what divorce proceedings look like, I wish these parents read newspapers and magazines in order to realize the problems faced by the modern Indian men. I just wish that these parents stop watching those daily television soaps that portray some ideal wife or daughter in law which is certainly not the reality. I wish they stop thinking that bad things won't happen to us, i wish they stop living in a fantasy Utopian world. I wish they understand the reality.

It is the son who ends up paying a huge price for his parent's wrong decision, sometimes at the cost of his own life. All I can say is that parents should given their son's more time so that they can explore what is right for them, let them travel, meet other people, explore the world or even India. This matter a lot. Experiences shape your personality and you realize what you want. You become more confident and less insecure.

This post may not be relevant to veteran MGTOWs. However all other single Indian men who are reading this post, it is my sincere request that you focus on your work and career. Meet new people, travel across India and have a diverse experience. Don' t fall into the emotional blackmail of your parents to get married. Marriages created in the basis of materialism, property ownership, CTC, salary, designation, offshore postings don't last for long. What matters is how you get along with a person emotionally and how much you relate with each other.

Take your desicion wisely.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

Birthday celebrations of the Indian MGTOW-Bhaveen Sheth

On 13th of May 2020, the writer of this blog, Bhaveen Sheth aka Indian MGTOW celebrated his 38th birthday. Amidst the corona pandemic and lock-down, he somehow managed to arrange for a cake, all thanks to all his good friends who have always helped him and stood by him as good Samaritans.

The Indian MGTOW celebrated his birthday with his best friends who are now a family for him. Sharing the pictures below:

It was a wonderful time spent with my good friends who made by 38th birthday memorable.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW