An inspiring qoute for the single Indian male

Often we are criticized and accused of not living by the norms of the Indian society. Today I would like to share a quote with all of you which will inspire us and make us feel proud of our single status.

Whom do you have to go back to??????

My dear single Indian male friends. Greetings for the Day!!!!!!

Often I have been asked this question, whom do you have to go back to after your work/office hours????Friends, relatives and  colleagues ask me this questions on and off. Some tell me that they have to go back to their parents and while the other state that they have to go back their spouses and children.

But the question put in front of me is , whom do I have to go back to??? Empty homes, silent rooms, with no one waiting for me and having my lunch and dinner in solitary spaces!!!!

So the single Indian male would like to answer to the members of the Indian society that we do have things to go back to after office hours and my answers come down in the following statements:

We do go back to our homes, for some it is a dream home which has been made out of hard work, bought on housing loans with payment of EMI's and it is our home.

We have a nice shower to go back to where we have the luxury of having a peaceful bath, for some enthusiastic people there is even a jacuzzi.

And you call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male

With a heavy heart the single Indian male would like to pour his strong statements aimed to all the members of the Indian society, expressing his grievance to the mistreatment meted out to the brotherhood of the single Indian Male.

Having crossed into my thirties, I am often reminded about my single status by many members if the Indian Society. When my answer to their question is NO!! I have chosen to remain single, i get barrage of criticisms which are described below:

"You are running away from responsibility." " You are breaking the society traditions " " You are a rebel." "You have high expectations from marriage." "You think too much." " You are money minded, selfish." "You just can't get along with anyone". There is plenty more but for now I would like restrict.

And so here is my statement to all you members who call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male:

While I am happily living my day to day life , you are brooding and cursing your miserable married life but you call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male.

Why does the Indian Society detest the Single Indian Male

My Dear Single Indian Male Friends,

Greetings for the day!!!!

I hope you guys are doing good and are enjoying the winter. Its a pleasant season indeed, the cold climate, the pleasant weather, the hot beverages, the winter wear and for some lucky guys a lovely sex life, I mean if you are really having one (HIHIHIHIHIIIII)

Putting all the above things aside, I would like to write down my thoughts on the main topic i.e.why does the Indian Society hare and detest the Single India Male!!!!! Any takers to my statement. Maybe none.

People of the Indian Society don't like us and i will be very frank about it. And please, I am not imagining, I am not paranoid and I am certainly not schizophrenic. I am just being tuthful.

We the Single Indian Male challenge the very norms/rules that make up the pillars of the Indian Society. Every single man worth his salt gets married and when we dare to be different we are certainly looked upon with contempt and disgust.

One can see single females around, many of them have chosen to remain single because of their own personal reasons and I can very well understand that. But Men!!!! Seriously!!!! How many men have you seen remaining single all their lives because they made a choice.Chances are,  very few.

Our single status is a cause of concern to anyone and everyone around us. Relatives who just won't stop asking questions on when we we will get hitched or are trying to hook us up with some family friend they know who also happens to be single. Office colleagues who feel that we are desperate and need someone ( I still don't get it that how can one have such a weird imagination). But no one in India follows the principle "To Each on his own" or " Live and let live"

The fact is that the Indian Society can't see a single man living his life happily and enjoying. The fact is that many of our married counter parts are living a miserable life, a life filled with frustrations, loveless marriages, the resposnibilities, children, loans and EMI's etc and what not.

The Elderly people see us as rebels who are breaking the traditions. Protective parents see us as potential rapists, pedophiles and sex maniacs  who are out to abuse their children. Insecure husbands looks upon us to be a threat, the kind of bad boy who will snatch his wife. Landlords look upon us as trouble makers.

Al the above assumptions are made and perceived by the members of the Indian society.

But none of them are willing to accept that they (the people of the Indian Society) are secretly envying our single lives. We live life fully, we enjoy. We have our hobbies and we are creative. We have no responsibilities other than that of our parents or siblings. We have no burdens of EMI's or home loans. No children. No spouse with whom we are stuck forever even if we don't like/love them . The flexibility of changing jobs or pursuing our interests, freedom to join our dream organizations, the joy of backpacking and traveling alone. The enjoyment that we derive of going to watch movies in multiplexes, cinemas, shows/dramas, book events, plays, exhibitions etc while they are all stuck with that HAPPY INDIAN FAMILY. And not forget the jealousy you get when you see us lean and thin and TONED  ( because we have time to exercise and work out) while you are having a pot belly just waiting to burst out. Our grooming makes people go green with envy.

When perceptions and realities don't match people find it hard to accept. Time and again, movies have shown the single man to be brooding, a man with broken heart who also happens to be alcoholic, a depressed man who is perpetually crying, man who is waiting for a princess to come along. Now that's what movies show, but in reality when people see us happily enjoying our lives, all they can do is hate.

So be it, let them hate us. Let them say all sorts of things, you know, losers, irresponsible, uncommitted, free living, hippy, hermits and whatever. We are what we are, the Single Indian Men  and we will live our lives the way we want it to be.

The SIngle Indian Male and the small town/city mentality

The Small town /city mentality!!!!!What does this mean?????? Err. Simple. Leave behind big metro cities in this country and you are exposed to the small town/city mentality and what would that be my dear sir???? Well, it is the narrow minded thinking of the people of small towns and cities.

We as the single Indian Men may at times have to  relocate to smaller cities or towns in order to find better opportunities, better career prospects, good salary raises, an opportunity to work in area of your interest and many other reasons.

While at work we may be happy and content finding one hundred job satisfaction, on the personal level there is nothing but frustration and dissatisfaction. Reason????? Small town mentality!!!!!!!

This is nothing but the narrow minded thinking of the people and a rigid Indian society that they live in, as a society that never changed with time. And how do we as the Single Indian Men get affected by it????? Oh Man, give me one reason why we don't.

On the Posibilities of taking endless travels across India

My dear single Indian Male Friends,

Greetings for the season!!!!!!

Diwali is over and once again life is on track for all of us. We are back to our jobs and workplaces.(Much to our unhappiness and displeasure)

I hope you all must have done some fun loving things during the festive season other than eating sweets and blowing crackers.

Anyways, today i would like to discuss on the aspect on taking endless travels across India, our country, our nation and our motherland.

Okay!!!!! Now before you raise your objections and say What??? Why??? How Come????? and all that stuff. I would put in some words of wisdom and say why not dude??? Is there some problem????

I can understand that many of you guys would have traveled abroad to western countries and the far east and think that traveling across the Indian  subcontinent is an obsolete idea indeed, but  before you jump to conclusions of your own ,let me assure you that think it all over again.

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM- An Open letter to my Readers and crtitics alike.

DOTSIM stands for the diary of the Single Indian Male.

I start my blogpost by wishing everyone a very happy diwali and greetings of the season.

Over the past few months my blog posts have been read and  appreciated by some readers while some of them criticized my writings stating that they found it sarcastic, anti-women, patriarchal, sexist and  to an extent t that I, the writer seems to be sexually frustrated,  on a look out for women to sleep with.

First of all i would like to clarify that my blog is intended for the so called species of the single Indian men, something that used to be rare in our Indian Society is now gradually rising in numbers, thankfully more and more men have taken the decision to be single and when i say single Indian men , i refer to the Urban, educated, upwardly mobile, middle and upper middle class men, men who are professionals, well educated and hold respectable jobs. It is certainly not aimed at the average frustrated Indian male who happens to be single because he is an incompetent person, a man who has failed both on the personal and professional fronts, having no other option but to stay single and not to forget men who belong to regions and communities of India where female foeticide and infanticide is a common practice.

My posting  here describes the feelings of the Single Indian men, the advantages of being single, the problems and challenges faced by us in an increasingly intolerant and prejudiced society, on ways to improve the quality of our lives and a lot more.

There are many websites and blogs for the single Indian Women, but there are hardly any for us. If you want to verify , please google blogs on the Single Indian Male, chances are you will find limited sites.I am trying to create a forum where single Indian Males can meet, read, share and discuss on common issues.

And no, this blog was, is and will never be anti-women, patriarchal, misogynist or sexist in nature. It is sad to see that the Digital Indian Media is filled with all kinds of anti Indian man write ups, from being labelled as a rapist to a pedophile, from being called a mama's boy to a pathetic and a worthless husband and what not, but still we the Indian men neither protest nor do we find it inflammatory. But if we write something and something that is really truthful about the Indian Women within the backdrop of the Indian Society,  readers find it offensive. OHHHH C'mon grow up, learn to accept life with a pinch of salt. And please tell me??Are all the women we come across in our society or country SATI SAVITRI'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, i mean really!!!! , is that the real scenario, i completely disagree.

And Sex, what is wrong if some of my write ups are on this Topic.Why is such an important need to tabooed in our society??? Do the Single Indian Women only have the right to discuss this topic on online forums????Is it a copy right of the female fraternity??? If we Indian Men write on our sexual desires on an online forum, we are labelled as perverts, sexual maniacs, frustrated dogs with a raging libido.!!!!!!!! Oh Yaaa!!!! So , my dear Indian Women , with whom are you going to have sex with , some Pakistani or Afghan across the border or some African who is our country on a student visa ( and well drug trade). Grow up, women , grow up. I am not giving advices to anyone on molesting and raping an innocent female. I am just sharing my opinions and thought processes with like minded single Indian Men. And please don't tell me that you don't like sex!!!!!!!!! Stop being a bloody hypocrite!!!!!

My blog wants to bring out some harsh realities about the Indian Society to all my online readers, realities which we have often denied, realities that we  accepted, tolerated and kept quiet, realities that have  ruined the lives if some of us, realities that give us hope in a society filled with gloom and despair.

I will continue to blog and share my thoughts, whether you like it or not, whether you appreciate it or not.