The Single Indian man aka Indian MGTOW turns 40: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Today I have turned 40. Completed another decade and stepped into my 40s. I am happily single and marked myself safe from marriage. Over all these years I have had different experiences and have encountered many people.These experiences have shaped me as a person. Based on this I would like to write a few points below:

1. Relationships are trasnsactional. Barring a few people I have realized that most relationships are about give and take. People will associate with you when they need something, you will be called if someone wants help. Otherwise people don't want form a deep connect. I am okay with that and as part of growing up I have accepted this.

2. Marriage may not happen in my case and I am accepted this as a part of my life. For a person with  no  family makes me the most unqualified candidate for the Institution of marriage. Over the years I have the observed how degenerated this institution has become where in the matters have been taken to the police station and session courts. I have seen western debaunchery and degenerecy entering this institution and have gained enough wisdom to realize that marriage is no longer a holy institution in India.

3. I find solace in reading and watching good movies and web series on different OTT platforms. I guess this activities keep me enegaged and help me address that lonelienss that comes with living a single life.

4.I have started my fitness journey once again. The COVID pandemic and subsequent lockdows disturbed my schedule and now it is time to get back to my fitness routine.I have promised myself and that no matter what, I will not become like one of those 40 and 50 plus uncles that you meet in India who is unfit and out of shape.

5. I will resume my travel exploring different places and meeting new people. I have decided to dine out at food joints and restaurants on near by cities that have been recommended by youtubers.

6. With the wisdom gained over years of experience, I tend to avoid toxic and negative people. They zap your energy and emotionally drain you. I keep them 500 mtrs away from me.

7. I am now open to compansinship i.e means spending some time with a female if she comes across as a sane and rational woman. Though I follow the MGTOW lifestyle there is nothing wrong in seeking companionship of a woman. As a single man , I have the freedom to persue relationships and seek compansionship from women of my age bracket. In the journey of life there have to be some good memries, something that you will look back on and smile.

I celebreated by birthday all by myself at a cafe and here I say cheers of life, liberty and freedom:

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Even after crossing 35, they still want their parents and siblings to talk: Bhaveen Sheth INDIAN MGTOW

Life can be amusing and you tend to laugh at the weird experiences you have with some people. My profile on shaadi.com is still there and at times I do receive some odd interest. Astonishing thing is that women above 35 want their parents and siblings (brothers or married sisters) to talk to me.

We are in the third decade of the 21st century where one gets to see great strides in women's empowerment and still you have 35 plus single Indian women who can't even initiate a decent consversation. So where did all the empowerement go.

In my opinion, after crossing the age of 30, a person is very much an adult who can take decisions independently. Unfortunately many single Indian women  post 30 are extremely shy or reserved. I guess they have still not developed the confidence of being assertive. 

Many of these women have great expectations of getting married, having that dream partner and the heavenly wedding. I guess social media and internet has made people live in a fantasy world, very much cut off from reality. But then , here you have the same women who can't even have a meaningful conversation. 

There have been times when a senior citizen has spoken to me or a sibling has initiated a talk. I just could not connect with them. It was acceptable if I were in my 20's and parents were doing all the talking but highly unacceptable in 30s and 40s.

Another observation made by me is that many of these single women who call themselves  independent, so called travellers and what not are actually not independent. Majority of them are still living with their parents. Some even have a brother who is married, has a wife and children living in the same home. In terms of age they might be older but if it comes to maturity they are equivalent to women in their 20s.

At times I don't understand why they are still single even in their late 30s especially in a country where the gender ratio is skewed. But let us put that debate aside for some other time. My question is "Why do these women disagree to talk or meet a man if they are so interested in getting married"? Is it lack of confidence? Are they scared? Is it something to do with self esteem? I don't know?

Having travelled and met so many people across this country, I have learnt one important lesson:Every human being is a book telling you a story. There are so many things you can learn from meeting a new person, have an intellectual and meanigful conversation. Not all meetings turn into long term realtionships or marriage alliances, but remember this, you get an experience and gain confidence.

Just thought about documenting what I felt. 

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

A requirement for men's only spaces in India: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW-DOTSIM

There are times when I feel there should be spaces and places dedicated to men and men only. A place where single men can visit and feel comfortable in order to experience solitude. Going by today, most places are dedicated  to couples and families with nothing for single Indian men. Now I don't have any problem with that as I have negotiated my way at restaurants, multiplexes and coffee shops, but an exclusive men's place can always create a difference.

Here are my thoughts on some facilities that can be dedicated to men and men only:

Gyms: Everyone wants to have a good workout in order to be fit and look good. Unfortunately majority of the gyms have been infiltrated by womenfolk making a lot of men nervous, conscious and uncomfortable. There are these young nibbis who have become influenced by social media, they all want to look like celebrities. They come to the gym in order to get maximum attention from the men out there, they will take all the space and required equipments. If you ask them to use the machine, they will give you that arrogant look as if you are some kind of a beggar. Every 5 minutes they will take a selfie in front of the mirror in order to post a picture on social media. The nibbi will also be accompanied with her friend who will take her picture and videos, tagging along with the nibbis are their beta simp boyfriends who act like their assistants. I get so damned irritated by the immature behavior of these new generation nibbis. After the nibbis , there are women in their mid and late 20's who are planning to get married in the next six months, They will come to the gym exclusively to loose weight in order to look like a princess bride on the wedding day. They also follow the same trend like the young nibbis. Half of the time they are on the phone having that romantic lovey dovy conversation with their fiances. Why can't they just shut their mouths and do the exercises. Then there is the third category, the 30 and 40 plus married women and mothers. They have become influenced by Malaika Arora and have joined they gym exclusively to look like Malaika. Most of the time these Aunties will be on the treadmill or the static cycle, they won't lift weights. If you are in North India, expect these women to be loud mouthed and shrieking all the time. They will call the trainer "Bhaiya". These women make gyms into their personal gossip centers where they will exercise for 20 minutes and gossip for 2 hours. After the gym session, they will have street side momos, pakoras, and pani puris. So much for going to the gym. With women entering the gym, most of the trainers neglect us men. It is like we just don't exist. Plus there is a lot of distraction. As a man i don't have  a problem in sharing space with another man. We men understand and respect each other. Were I to ask a 20 year old young boy for the weights , he would happily give it to me. The same thing does not apply to females. Plus, I as a man feel some kind of a discomfort in front of these women.  I just wish there were gyms that were exclusively dedicated to Men or at least they had separate floors for men and women.

Swimming Pools: A good swim is always required especially to beat the summer heat. Even though majority of the pools have different timings for males and females, I have often observed women entering the pool at time slots dedicated to men. I just can't understand. The management of these pools have a soft corner for women and they allow them to do what they want. Another point observed is that a lot of small children enter the pool often making it look like a children's park. Accompanied with these children are their mothers who will sit beside the pool and have snacks and do gossip. Again as a man I am uncomfortable at some women looking at my half naked body where I just have a swimming wear to cover me. This why I want swimming pools dedicated to men and men only.

Cafes: In India , people have no idea of what cafes are for. Abroad, it is for people to sit and enjoy coffee along with some snacks while reading a book or writing something.The music is relaxing and soothing and people have meaningful conversations at a low volume. Come to India, and cafes have just becomes bars and discotheques minus the alcohol. Either you will find youngsters in groups or loud couples. These people have no respect for the privacy and personal space of other people. Adding to this is the Punjabi rap bangda music being played at a high volume. I have been to some cafes where people have give me obnoxious stares when I was reading my book and enjoying coffee. In some cafes you can't even go during the peak afternoon hours as it is always crowded by couples and youngsters. These people literally shout creating nuisance for others.

Bars: Single Indian men also have the right to enjoy a drink or a pint of beer. Today most of the bars in the city are overcrowded with youngsters and one cannot enjoy a few moments to solace and solitude. A single Indian man wants a place where he can enjoy his drink peacefully with the background  music of Yaani, Yiruma and Kenny G. In Delhi-NCR, enterprising wine shop owners have extended their space by opening a kind of mini restaurant area either in the basement or rooftops where men can come and have a drink along with some food. In these places one will often find men, both married or single coming alone and having a drink. I guess, in a way it provides some solitude to these men. However it would be good if some enterprising businessman takes the idea forwards and opens a bar only for 30 plus Indian men where stags are given first priority.

I am writing this article in the context of the growing population of single Indian men. More and more men will remain single in India either out of their circumstances or their own volition. There is a need to provide them the space they require. There are spaces that should be exclusively for men and men only. If there are women only places then why can't there by men only places. This is something that the larger society should think about.

I rest my case.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Can we please normalize 35 plus year old single Indian men seeking companionship:Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Time and again I come across articles written by feminist Indian authors glorying the fact that 30 plus year old Indian women should openly seek companionship with men without getting married.

Okay! Well Didi, I am okay with your thoughts but why is there a problem if a 35 plus year old single Indian man seeks companionship? Aren't men human being who also need to connect with other humans?

It seems that in India for men everything is restricted. I mean just look at the normal life of most Indian men; they are forced to study and excel at school, get good grades, entrance examinations, good college, bachelors and masters degree, job, CTC, buy a car, buy a house and what not. When was there a time time for them to engage is some activities of companionship. Other than a few men who get lucky , most of the Indian men have to go through the same old drudgery, fulfilling the expectations of parents, family and society.

There is a gradual rise in the population of single Indian men over the last decade. Men are finding it difficult to get married,others are divorced and separated and some wise men have decided to take up a MGTOW lifestyle. This is okay. The problem happens when these men after crossing 35  seek companionship from the opposite gender. Our society has a problem in labeling 35 year plus single Indian men to be perverts for reasons that are beyond my understanding. For the larger society single Indian men after a certain age should  not be looking for companionship, they should either get married or take up a celibate lifestyle.

We all know that marriage is a complicated business. People don't even know if marriages will work out. After a certain age it is not easy to make changes and do adjustments. I am all in agreement with this. But should people give up on seeking companionship from the opposite gender? 

To put my point clearly, I would to state that majority of the Indian men are law abiding citizens. They know that the police and judicial system is strongly biased against them. They would not do anything that will get them into trouble. So for all those who think that single Indian men are perverts, please dream on. 

In India, it seems that for men , marriage comes with an expiry date. This is what the larger society thinks. Fair enough!! But does that mean that men should stop seeking company of the opposite gender? Why is asking a woman (of their age category) out on a date such a big taboo for mature Indian men? Is this privilege restricted to youngsters only?

Having spoken to many single and divorced men, there is one common thing that they have mentioned, either marriage or nothing. This is what their families and relatives tell them. There are men who got friendly with women and brought them to their apartment only to face the wrath of the other apartment members the very next day. These acche ghar ke pariwar people can't tolerate  a single man bringing a woman to his house even though he owns the flat. After all our double standard society is all about parampara, sanskaar and prathistha. The most vitriolic of these protesters are the 55 plus year old Chachas who have been carried away by recent religious polarization in our country and have becomes the gatekeepers of morality. There are also single men who are having companionship of young girls. Guess it is the new age economy where the women exchange company for lunches at fancy restaurants, movies in mutiplex and trips to nearby locations. There are also men who go and visit massage parlors for some company. We all know what happens in those massage parlors but then it is his life , why bother?

The draconian laws related to marriage and extremely high expectations of women and their families when it comes to marriage has made many men realize that marriage is not easy. Those who have gone through a bitter divorce having contested it in the court  don't want to ever get married again. Why then is our society forcing men to get married? And why shouldn't men seek companionship? Is there a law that stops men from doing it? In the constitution of India, each and every citizen is given the life to liberty and live his/her life as he/she wants so long as the law is not being broken. Then why is  that we the collective society shame a single man in the company of a woman. Why are people taking up the role of a moral policeman.

Companionship does not mean marriage. If that were the case why are so many marriages filled with people who hate each other and are yet married? For the Indian society marriage is the end of all things. It is time for men to explore relationships without getting married. There is nothing wrong in having a short term relationship, if things don't work out , you can part ways. There is no point of getting married after 35 especially for men (planning to write an article on this). I have come across plenty of embittered men in their 40s and 50s. They only dreamt of getting married, they fantasized of that wonderful woman coming their lives and bringing happiness. Unfortunately nothing happened. Life is not that hindi television serial or bollywood movie that showcases the picture perfect life. 

To all single Indian men, your time is now and you need to live your life. Don't carry regrets and disappointments to your grave. There is no shame is seeking companionship of a woman. Don't bother about what the society and family will say. This is your life , go and live it.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

The COVID WIDOW scam on the online Matrimonial Sites: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

The COVID pandemic will be seen as one of the greatest tragedies of the 21st Century. Two years on and India is still reeling from the after effects of this pandemic. Our economy is in shambles, business is bad, Inflation is all time high, jobs are not easy to come by and things are getting difficult day by day.

Still we the people of India will go on doing what we were doing best, Marriage. Even during this Covid Pandemic, people did not stop from getting married.

With all kinds of scams that emerged during the pandemic, a new one is gradually being observed. i.e the case of fake widows on the online matrimonial sites.

The pandemic has become an excuse for many divorced, separated women and single mothers to claim themselves to be widows and marry a naive person. I spoke to two men who  got trapped in this kind of marriage. The first one was looking for an understanding life partner, he was clear that he would not marry a divorcee considering how today's women are using the gender biased laws against their in-laws and husbands. He came across a profile stating that the woman was a widow having lost her husband in the pandemic. Interest was expressed, numbers were exchanged and conversations took place. This man even visited the woman's city and spoke to her at a coffee shop and later took her for dinner at a restaurant. He was convinced that finally he had found his life partner and wanted to marry her. He went back, spoke to his parents, while the parents initially expressed skepticism, later they agreed for the marriage. The marriage took place, everything went well. A month later a major catastrophe struck, he came across his wive's documents where it was stated that she was a divorcee and later he also came across a divorcee decree wherein his wife had claimed alimony and had filled 498a and DV against her husband. While his wife was divorced, she had got a huge alimony as a settlement. This man was devastated and went into depression.He confronted his wife only to see a different side of the woman he had truly loved. She laughed at him and threatened him that were he to leave her or tell this to anyone, she would file false cases against the husband and his parents. The man backed off and accepted his fate. He feels to have been badly cheated.

The second case is just like the one above, the only difference is that the man was a never married bachelor in his mid 40s looking for a life partner. He too got conned by this so called single mother widow who again had lost her husband in the pandemic and was looking for a supportive life partner. In reality this woman was divorced, her husband was very much alive and she was shamelessly claiming child support. Her first husband was not even aware that she was got married for the second time.

In both these cases the husbands were alive. With rising awareness among the Indian men and their families, never married men are refraining from getting married to divorcees considering the fact  many women have used the legal system to their advantage. No decent man or his family wants to be accused of false dowry cases, domestic violence and be arrested. Hence the hesitancy. People will always prefer a widow.

So some cunning, calculating women and their parents convincingly take up the widow status and the Covid pandemic is a wonderful excuse as it claimed the lives of both old and young ones. And here you have a bechari young widow who lost her husband, you have an abhla single mother widow who is looking for a supportive husband who will also accept her child.

My dear single Indian men, please beware of this scam. Don't be desperate to get married. It is better to be single than be sorry. If you come across such profiles where interests are expressed, please do your background verification. Hire a private detective, scout her history, as for the death certificate of her husband, verify it with the mortuary, ask for her past family photographs, ask for the husbands medical records, the respective state governments are also giving some kind of covid benefits to the families of the deceased, please ask for this kind of certificate. all hospitals are issuing it.

Do a thorough investigation, today narratives can easily be changed and a calculating thug can easily play the role of the victim. Understand that you should not be conned. Both of these men fell into the trap because they were lured by the beauty of the women.

I have my sympathy for all those women who genuinely lost their husbands during the pandemic, in many cases the husbands were the sole earners/bread winners and now the responsibility of taking care of the family has fallen upon the widowed wives. May god give all these women the strength and courage to carry on with this challenging journey ahead.

What I dislike is how the widow status is being misused in order to trap naive innocent men into marriage. This brings a bad name to the women who have actually been widowed. Even they would want to find a decent life partner and give their life a new start, unfortunately with all these kinds of scams they too have come under scrutiny.

At the end of this post I want to clearly warn all the single Indian men; please be careful, keep an open mind, just because you hear someones sad plight does not mean you have to take it on face value. Never take a major life changing decision in desperation, always give it time. Be aware, be careful and be safe.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW.

Beware of the online Sextortion scams: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

With the proliferation of affordable internet services across India, new scammers have emerged. While most of us have heard and read about the online bankig fraud scams, credit card scams, loans scams and online product delivery scam, in the shadows there is a new scam lurking , known as sex scams. This post is on this topic and I write how these scammers forcing men to pay up.

Today many men are lonely, be it married or unmarried. They are desperately looking for companionship. The age group can range from 18 to 60 and above. Some men are single due to family problems some are divorced, some are separated, some are single parents etc etc. All lonely are people vying for female companionship.

Now here is the modus operandi of these scammer. The group consists of 3 to 4 people where one member is a female. She is young, good looking and charming. She is one of those so called social media influencers you find these days on facebook or instagram. Along with her, there are men who exhibit criminal traits and have a greed for money in order to live a luxurious life without putting in any efforts.

This con gang goes across hunting for their targets. Within this gang there is a computer wiz who is an expert with social media platforms and tools. They identify their targets online. Sometimes their victims are even known to them as they stay in the same locality or they know them through an acquaintance. A request is sent to them generally through facebook or instagram. The profile of the girl is enticing. Once the friend request is accepted, the female starts chatting with the man, at first it is a general talk, later it becomes more friendly and after that it goes to the next level. Video calls start and the lady tries to get intimate with the man online, she asks him to remove his clothes while she also does the same. A lot takes place during these online video calls. The man is oblivious of the fact that these entire video call is being recorded by the girl and members of the gang.

A few days after the conversation, the message is sent to the man along with the video. The threatening message is sent stating that either you pay up a huge amount of money or the video will be sent to all your friends and relatives in your social media groups. The cyber expert form the group would have already archived and stored  all the contacts existing within the profile of the victim.

In order to save  face and reputation, majority of the men pay up. They don't seek police intervention as they feel ashamed. Thousands of men have been duped this way and they could do nothing.

For all those single Indian men and MGTOW's, please take my warning carefully. DO NOT and I say DO NOT under any circumstances accept the friend request of woman who is unknown to you, no matter hoe beautiful and good looking she may be. Avoid them. Do not share your mobile number of personal details with unknown women. You don't know the femme fatale on the other side of the screen. I understand that loneliness can take a toll but don't allows fraudsters to take away your hard earned money.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

The MGTOW Life- Of not having roots and deep connections-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Over the years having lived the MGTOW lifestyle, I have acknowledged and accepted a few realities. The most important of not having roots and deep connection. Veteran MGTOWs can acknowledge the fact that over the years it is not possible for establish roots and deep connection with a place or society.

Work has taken us away to new places, sometimes in India or abroad. We have lost connections with our relatives over the course of time. Being single also means that you don't get invited to the functions organized in the society. We can have some close friends with whom we share our thoughts, feelings and opinions.

We have placed ourselves in metro cities that are totally new to us. We navigate through the Urban Jungle and a competitive and stress filled corporate environment. Leaving everything behind we came here to make a life, we struggled hard, went through difficulties, coped with loneliness and finally made a mark for ourselves and still we find that void somewhere in our heart. Over the years we have seen others establish roots and forge deep connections with the city and society through marriages, starting a family and having kids. These people have become part of the larger society. We are happy and appreciate their achievements.

Yet we as MGTOWs after having spent years in a city we are still strangers to it. We may have some known hangouts that we frequently visit or acquaint with some people with whom we regularly interact, that is our only interaction that we have. At work our relationships are mostly professional hardly culminating into a personal bond.

Rootless that we are and travelers that we will remain. This is the life that we have chose and we should not have any regrets for the same.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW