We don't need a woman to complete us

Yes, this is what I , the single Indian male firmly believes. We , the single Indian men do not require a woman in our lives to complete us.

From times immemorial , since childhood we have heard this statement that marriage completes you, a woman transforms our lives and completes and complements us in all ways.

And I say, this is bullshit. Because if this was the case then a man would also complete a woman. But it seems that this never happens.

So why do we the single Indian men require a woman to complete us? Is it that we cannot live or lives without a woman? Does our morale and self esteem depend on a woman??? I doubt!!!!

The Indian society has in a way put woman on a higher pedestal. They are worshiped in the form of important goddesses (Lakshmi-the goddess of wealth and Saraswati-the goddess of education), there are many more. There is this mystique cult followed in the Indian society that the home coming of a new woman as a wife is considered to be auspicious and a home is complete only if there is a woman. Really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, this post is not against Indian women, there are many who are happily married and are living a contented life. This post is for those single Indian men who have crossed their thirties 30's and are on some sort of relentless search for a woman in order get happy. Sad!!!!! In  western countries , men strive for a cause, a goal, a dream but in India, men strive only for a woman, to get married at any cost. It seems that for these men it is only marriage that can bring happiness.

In some of my previous posts I have mentioned that marriage is not a dreamland, there are sacrifices to be made and responsibilities to be undertaken if one wants to stay in this institution, but many single Indian men don't understand this (you can forget their parents, they are more fanatic in the pursuit if an ideal daughter in law).

I ask a simple question , once more, do we require  women to make us happy????? My answer is no!!!!! A simple no.. If you have not found happiness in your single life, chances are that you will not find the same even if you get married. Marriage is no problem solver.

It is a known fact that in a highly sexually repressed society, Indian men have high levels of testosterone in their body, an extreme libido that cannot be controlled. People won't admit this but the truth is that many Indian men marry just because they want sex. An arranged marriage in a way  is a brokerage business in order to get that fair looking booty that the men want.

Other than the above fact, the second hard hitting reality is that Indian men unlike their western counter parts never grow up, I myself have been a witness to their immaturity and child like behavior. They are stuck to their mothers and in later years of their lives they want their wives to perform this role. Housework is something that Indian men can't do (yea, now there are men who are doing it, but they remain a minority). The can't clean, they can't cook and they can't take care of their laundry. They need a woman to do this job for them. Other than doing that 9 to 5 job and watching cricket on television, this majority has nothing better to do.

Plus the Indian man unlike his female counter part does not have the courage to stay alone and live life all by himself. Loneliness is dreaded. Such men have no hobbies or interests that can engage their free time. Ya, Alcohol, porn, play station , television can be a temporary solace but it is no solution to battle loneliness.

The Indian society has in itself that they should leave around no man single. Somehow he is to be married of, no matter what it takes. Look around in your society, apartments, neighborhoods and even social functions, as compared to single Indian women there are few single Indian men. The society is quite pro marriage when it comes to the Indian men.

So why is it that the single Indian man needs a woman to complete him. Look around and learn, learn from your female counterparts who are single and happily living their lives. They don't need a man to complete them, their happiness quotient does not depend on marriage, they do not attend social functions or go to pubs just for the heck for finding a soul mate, they do not pressurize their parents to start looking out for a decent husband, they pursue their careers and rise up the corporate ladder, they maintain a strong social network, they have relations with different men, some of them even adopt a child or opt for invitro fertilization, they don't need a man. Yes there is a fair share of desperate Indian women in their 30's but compared to men , their numbers are quite low.

Why can't we learn something from them??? I am not asking you to adopt a child, I am not asking you to live like a woman. All I am saying is that learn to find your own happiness and have your single life filled with positive experiences. Read, travel, learn, focus on your career, take up a hobby or do something that makes you feel good. A woman is not the end point of all your happiness, there is life beyond marriage and a wife.

So go out there and live your life. Don't feel sad that you are single and did not get married and everyone around you is. Take control of your life and know this that your happiness does not depend on a woman. You don't need a woman to complete you.

Why do some Indian Men remain single

With the changing times and influx of a western lifestyle , one can often notice the gradual changes that have come in the society.

One of the institutions that is being affected is marriage, as a lot of changes have happened in the last 10 years, changes that never happened within the Indian society in the last 1000 years. It is good to see a rapid turnaround in the society.

Coming to the topic of the single Indian man/male, it is still rare for a man not be  married. You can observe a lot of unmarried women in their 30's and 40's. They have their own reasons but you will find a limited number of Indian men who stay single all their lives.

In India three things, i.e. Bollywood, cricket and marriage are the most important preoccupations of the people. It becomes an inseparable part of their lives.

Indian men don't stay single, they are somehow married, no matter how old, dumb or ugly they may be, they have to get married. Now you understand why is the entire nation obsessed after getting Salman Khan and Rahul Gandhi married!!!!. Men are the prized possessions in the family and the family gets them married at any cost.

But then,  one does find Indian men who are still not married living a single life and unlike their female counterparts who have accepted singledom peacefully, such men are sad and brooding.

Here I would like to profile the Single Indian Male/men who stay single all their lives, majority out of their own fate and circumstances and not by choice.

1. The perpetual losers: These are men who are just ordinary, ordinary in looks, ordinary in personality and they hold mediocre jobs that are boring and does not pay a good salary. Yet , like ordinary mortal human beings, they aspire to get married. But, things don't work for them. In the Indian society, every Indian father wants to get his daughter married to the higher economic level in the society. These males do not find suitable matches and remain single all their lives. Common examples of such men are: the office boy, the driver, the clerk , the cashier at a shopping mall, the security guard etc etc.

Indian Women marrying less successful younger men!! Seriously!!!! I doubt!!!

The single Indian male came across the following blog in the  times of India, written an eminent writer.

The link is pasted below, kindly read it:

The 'little third' in a marriage!

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/O-zone/entry/the-little-third-in-a-marriage

The author states how some single successful women are not able to find good marital partners after a particular age and how they then try to hit upon successful married men.

The society considers these women to be the left over women and are viewed with a great suspicion and threat as they may break the  happy go lucky families by wooing the husband.

Some snippets from the blog:

"The discussions transported me back to a living room in Beijing a couple of months ago, where the topic of discussion was xiaosan or ‘The Little Third,’ a derogatory term used for women who ‘break up’ homes. The rampant phenomenon of girls brazenly targeting older, rich men has given rise to a fanatic rage amongst women in Chinese social circles. The Chinese are even considering legislation to make The Little Third pay damages for breaking a home!

Actually, the problem goes much beyond fatal attractions, extra-marital affairs or blame games. It is a real social issue that needs to be dealt with. An increasing number of women set upon building successful careers, miss the bus where marriage is concerned, waking up too late. The Chinese usually have interesting, though derogatory terms for such social categories and phenomena. This category of women is called ‘shengnu,’ or ‘leftover women’.    

Look around in your immediate vicinity; you will be surprised at the number of highly successful, unmarried women you will notice. Educated, well paid and confident, these women are not willing to lower their standards and make compromises. They may even be happy with single lives but come under overwhelming pressure from family to marry. And since all the good (read successful and rich) guys are taken, they do not have much choice.    

So it isn’t as if these women go looking for a married man to break up his marriage. These are the only available men who meet their standards. And surely, it is a test of character and of the strength of their marriages whether these men allow The Little Third to enter their sacred space or not. "

And the author offers a decent workable solution to such women

"A great solution would be if the successful women who already have it all, except a man in their lives, elected to marry down and marry younger – offer an unemployed and not-so-successful guy some privileges. The problem arises when they wish to have it all. For instance, Farah Khan married well, a younger guy with potential — Shirish Kunder — and even gave him a hand up professionally. Now they are happy with their triplets. When Kareena Kapoor linked up with Shahid Kapoor, she too would have ended up giving a leg up to a guy less successful than her; but things didn’t work out between them.    

So, how about it, women? Are you game for shifting perspective and looking a bit lower than traditionally acceptable? Choose and nurture men younger than you in time, if you are single and successful, and too ambitious to marry rightaway. Wouldn’t you love to be Sugar Mommies for a change? "

Ohhhhhh!!!! C'mon man , how can you be so naive. Do you really think that such successful Indian women will marry a less successful man or a younger person whom she will nurture. GOSH!!!! Looks like this author has lost sense of reality and is stating facts based on her wild and vivid imagination, she gives examples of people from the entertainment fraternity, the very lives of people which are not stable and are constantly rocked time and again under the glare of the media.

Sugar Mommies!!!!! Oh god!!!!! The truth is that such single successful women have very high expectations from their future partners, they are not willing to settle for less. Look around, look at all those online matrimonial sites, single successful women out there expecting a good look well settled husbands who can bring more salary home than them.

I have rarely come across a woman who has married someone who is less educated than her or earns a lower salary. This is the reality and it does not change in the materialistic Indian society.

On Single Indian Men who become a failure on professional and personal fronts

Having written a lot on the positive sides of the single Indian man/male , I , Bhaveen Sheth would today  like to focus today on the single Indian men who have failed both on the personal and professional front

So, who are these men????????? They are smaller in number; however their population is rising day by day.

Here is a basic profile: Mostly in their Mid 30’s and 40’s doing just mediocre jobs, dragging themselves day by day, having no vision on what to do in their lives. Their behavioural traits comprise of frustration, angst, hatred, jealousy, depression, sadness, gloom and many more characteristics of a negative personality.

Time and again, I have come across such type of men. For some reason or the other they just happened to be left out, left out in all aspects of life i.e. education, family, marriage, social integration.

One may never know what actually happened??? Was it a bad family upbringing? Was it a dysfunctional family? Was it the negative influence of bad  peers and friends? Was it a negative personality? Was it the absence of opportunities?

Words of wisdom from a 46 year old single Indian Male

My dear Single Indian Male friends,

There are times when we would like to look up to some seniors or must I say veterans in the league of the single Indian men. However there seem to be none. Looks like the Indian society has made  a decision to hunt down the last single Indian  male and get him married.

However browsing through google for some sensible advice from a middle aged single Indian man, I came upon the following article:

46, Male, Single. And no less fraught

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/46-male-single-and-no-less-fraught/article5929262.ece

Here is a person in his forty's telling us on how the Indian society treats him. It does not respect his privacy and often taunts him on his single status.

Some of the statements form his article:

They seem to suggest: get married and all your problems will vanish. Do they mean to say married people have no problems? Aha! They do, they do. But problems of the married are somehow more fashionable and more respectable than the problems of single people. Still a bachelor at forty-six, I now realise that my choice to remain single was as smart a move a man chased by a yelping puppy can make by jumping to safety into a pit full of scorpions and cockroaches. (Don’t ask me how they, the stingers and the ticklers, live together. In such a pit, they do!)

When Indian society turns its men into economic slaves

Browsing through the facebook profile of a person, I came across this video. It was heart wrenching when I watched it and it did bring tears in my eyes.

I dedicate this video to all men of this great country who fight a battle every day, a battle for themselves and their families, I salute the hard work done , the difficulties faced and pain suffered on a daily basis by majority of the Indian men just in order to fit in to the so called norms of the Indian Society.

Please watch this video in the link below:

It is sad, really sad, that the entire media in this country  focuses on women's empowerment, women's upliftment and women's safety.

No one ever focuses on the problems that Indian men have to go through, be it in India or abroad.

Our society at times is really strange. Everyone is made to sacrifice something or the other in order to meet the so called material expectations of the society.

From times immemorial , men in the Indian society have been asked to take responsibilities as a father, brother or son. While the women live within the protective confines of their homes, it is the men who go out and face all kinds of difficulties. Yes, I understand that times have changed and  now even the women have started stepping out, but still things don't change.

When loneliness and desperation leads to a violent crime

My dear single Indian Male friends,

Last Sunday, I came across this news article in times of India. It stated that a man shot his virtual facebook friend whom he was communicating with for a very long time as he  got frustrated when met her person and felt that he had been cheated:

Please read the article in the link below:

Facebook date turns bloody: Man shoots woman, then kills self

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Facebook-date-turns-bloody-Man-shoots-woman-then-kills-self/articleshow/33977468.cms

Recent update: An indepth article published in the Indian Express:

http://indianexpress.com/article/india/politics/the-unlikes/

It seems that after shooting her , he shot and killed himself.