The Average Married Indian Male, the common man that you
come across in your everyday life.
There are a lot of posts in blogs highlighting the state of
the Modern Married Indian Woman who who has tied the matrimonial knot and
challenges that she is facing, however after scouting Google for long time, i
am yet to come across a write-up mentioning the
state of problems faced by an average married Indian male.
India is a country where the society still remains to be
Patriarchal till date. The male son is the valued member of the society, he is
given a lot of attention and expectations are put upon him right from his
birth.
If the Indian Woman has been told to make compromises right
from her childhood, then the Indian Male is no better. He is indoctrinated with
the fact that he will be the beast of burden and will take up all the
responsibilities of the family. He will be the walking stick of his old parents
in their Old age, the care taker of his sisters, the provider for his wife and the
man who will take the family name ahead.
So much in one life time!!!!!
Examples from the ancient Indian mythology are quoted to
remind him of about his roles and responsibilities. Some of them are of Ram , Bharat, Shravan and many others whom i cannot recollect.
And that’s how life goes by, expectations and more
expectations, pressure to perform during all the phases of life, child hood and
teenage years are deprived of enjoyment and fun and filled with endless studies
and tuition classes. The value of the male is decided on his performance in
exams, his career, the college that he has joined, his current job and his
annual salary.
When he reaches a suitable age, he is expected to settle down
, that means, get married. So, starts
the endless search for his would be bride, the bride who fits the expectation
of his Parents.
No one asks the guy what he wants, what are his likes and
dislikes, the worst part is that no one asks whether he is mentally prepared to
get married or take up commitments. Why should he be asked?? After all, it is
the elders who are going to decide.
The sad part about the Indian Educational System is that it
does not teach anyone how to think independently, no one can decide anything on their own, people just become followers. Major decisions of life are dictated by
elders.
Once the marriage ceremony is over, a new life begins, yes
initially it is filled with bliss, the honeymoon phase lasts for 2 years and
then the troubles begin. House, Car, Furniture and many more expenses.
Expectations are put on the Married Indian man to meet the
same. Poor fellow gets trapped in the Web of Loans and EMI’s. Once taken you
can never turn your back on them. The poor man starts living a life of compromise,
compromise in each and every aspect of life. He works in an Organization that
he does not like, a worthless boss whom he has to report to and the job profile
which ensures no future growth for him. But still, he has to continue because
he has taken loans and has to pay the EMI’s on time.
Personal Life is a challenge too; the elders on both sides
of the family expect that he produce children in 2 years of marriage; the Old
folks are desperate to become grandfathers and grandmothers. In the time of
Inflation, rising high prices and a miser appraisal/increment system how can one bring
a third member in the family and take care of the expenses, but no one wants to empathize with the problems, the society wants to see instant results just like 2 minute maggi
noodles.
The problems of the married Indian male does not end by
having a child, it just starts, children, nursery, school, college, future and
all that crap.
Some years into marriage and for some reason i still don’t
know why but the married couple looses interest in sex. Either the wife denies
that to her Husband or the Husband is just not interested in it. Desperation in
the Married Indian Male goes high in his Middle Ages. Now you can understand why are married men caught with their pants
down in the office, accused of sexual harassment or having affairs with other
office colleagues???
Health!!!!, just forget it, 5 years into marriage and almost all
married men have pot bellies, rarely do you come across men who are physically
fit. The guy who used to be an athlete during his college days now suffers
from morbid obesity. I think they should go and watch PAN SINGH TOMAR for a Change.
Responsibilities, duties and obligations, this is what remains
in the life of the Married Indian Male. He has no life of his own and cannot
live it.
When i see the married Indian male, i imagine the portrait
of Jesus Christ who is carrying the burden of the Crucifix cross on his back
along with the Damocles Sword hanging over his Neck. The burden of the cross are the
responsibilities put over him and the Damocles sword is his boss, his job,
loans and EMI’s.
Everyone has a choice, an option to say no. How many Indian Men do
you come across who have voluntarily decided to stay single because somehow they know
that marriage will not work for them?
There are few in number. The reality is that an Average
Indian Male is not able to say no, at least not to his Parents. Also many of them have strong carnal/sexual
desires in them, having never indulged in any sexual act before; marriage
remains the only option to the Average Indian Male to fulfil his desires.
Bound by custom and tradition the Indian man takes up the
responsibilities put upon him, often living a life of despair and gloom. There
are plenty of instances where i have seen the Married men complaining, Complaining
about life and everything associated with it. How Sad???
Only if they has decided to take a stand ,life would have
been different for them.
Every nine minutes a married man commits suicide in India,
the following link supports my statement.
This is the Reality of the Married Indian Man.
No comments:
Post a Comment