The Rude Answers I give to Anyone and Everyone Who Question My Single Status

I am Single, 30 and content with my life and would like to be that way. I don’t have problems with anyone and I keep up to myself minding my own business.

Unfortunately I am a part of the Indian Society, the society with has the dubious distinction of harboring double standards. This Society does not like Non Conformists who do stick to the rules and regulations of it.

Hence being Single at 30 in considered being Non Conformist to the Society. 

Often I am asked a Question repeatedly again and again “Why are you still Single?” and if that was not enough there is a forced insistence of getting married as soon as possible. Horrible future scenarios are constructed/manufactured by some people and put in front me.

So now i have designed my ingenious ways to answer people when they ask me such idiotic questions. Some of them are mentioned below.

I AM GAY!!!!!!!! And if it is man questioning my single status, i will also say “Dude, i have got liking for you especially your cute chubby body. Want to come with me for a night.”

Well, if milk is readily available in the Market then why should i keep a buffalo in my house.

To the prospective Mothers and Sisters looking for a match for their daughters and siblings “I have 2 cases of rape pending against me and i am considered to be a suspect in a gang rape case also”. After saying this i am sure that they will not come in 5kms radius near me.

I suffer from HIV, Hepatitis, Syphilis and Gonorrhea and all the other Sexual Transmitted disease present on this planet.

I was born castrated.

I am an undercover Jihadi working for Al Qaeda,Hizbul Mujahideen,  Lasker-E-Toiba, Hamas, Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad, Armed Islamic group and all those deadly Militant groups in this world, which father would want to sacrifice his daughter for a holy cause.

Alternatively i work for CIA, MI6,Mossad, FSB, or RAW. My contract with my Organization does not allow me to get married.

I am planning an early retirement and would like to settle down as a house husband, hence i intend to marry a high flying career oriented corporate woman, do you know of any??

Why to ruin the life of one woman by getting married when i can ruin the lives of many by staying single.

You see, I am able to have 5 to 6 honeymoons in a year so why get married and have only one honeymoon in my entire lifetime.

I am the reincarnation of Chengis Khan-The Great Conqueror and I intend to have a harem of a 100 women who will bear me thousands of children.

I am a sperm donor, i work 24*7*365. You can understand how exhausted i will be and will have no time for marriage.

I suffer from an extreme psychotic disorder; my psychiatrist has advised me that it will be good for my health if I remained single.

I am a Corporate Pimp.

As per research and statistics , a married man commits suicide every 9 minutes in India. I don’t intend to be one of them. Here is the link for your reference

http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report_one-married-man-commits-suicide-every-9-minutes_1350968

I didn’t come across the right person. Woman are not the only ones who make choices, we men  also have the right to choose.

I am still a virgin, but would like to take a woman on a test drive to get some experience before getting married, please could you offer your wife, sister or daughter for the same????

I am a patriot and I love my country, hence i don’t want to get married and produce children which will increase the population of this country.

I am the follower of the “Aman Ki Aasha” movement which wants to promote peace and friendship between Indian and Pakistan. I will marry only a Pakistani Girl , but I still have not found any Pakistani girl who has agreed to marry me , also the Immigration Authorities on both sides have made all the procedures difficult.

Blame it on the Skewed Male Female ratio 1000 boys per 884 girls, where do men I like me stand a chance, I am one of those unlucky 126 men  and if it is an elderly fellow/old hag questioning my single status , then my answer will be “It is because of Wicked people like you who shamelessly practiced Female Infanticide and Foeticide , and we are suffering because of your crimes”

I have got a Pathological, Phlegmatic, Stoical ,Antipathy towards the Indian Society , hence i choose to be a Non Conformist by staying single. (Knowing how bad  my own country people are in understanding  English, they will certainly need a dictionary to understand my statement)