Thursday, December 26, 2013

An inspiring qoute for the single Indian male

Often we are criticized and accused of not living by the norms of the Indian society. Today I would like to share a quote with all of you which will inspire us and make us feel proud of our single status.

Whom do you have to go back to??????

My dear single Indian male friends. Greetings for the Day!!!!!!

Often I have been asked this question, whom do you have to go back to after your work/office hours????Friends, relatives and  colleagues ask me this questions on and off. Some tell me that they have to go back to their parents and while the other state that they have to go back their spouses and children.

But the question put in front of me is , whom do I have to go back to??? Empty homes, silent rooms, with no one waiting for me and having my lunch and dinner in solitary spaces!!!!

So the single Indian male would like to answer to the members of the Indian society that we do have things to go back to after office hours and my answers come down in the following statements:

We do go back to our homes, for some it is a dream home which has been made out of hard work, bought on housing loans with payment of EMI's and it is our home.

We have a nice shower to go back to where we have the luxury of having a peaceful bath, for some enthusiastic people there is even a jacuzzi.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

And you call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male

With a heavy heart the single Indian male would like to pour his strong statements aimed to all the members of the Indian society, expressing his grievance to the mistreatment meted out to the brotherhood of the single Indian Male.

Having crossed into my thirties, I am often reminded about my single status by many members if the Indian Society. When my answer to their question is NO!! I have chosen to remain single, i get barrage of criticisms which are described below:

"You are running away from responsibility." " You are breaking the society traditions " " You are a rebel." "You have high expectations from marriage." "You think too much." " You are money minded, selfish." "You just can't get along with anyone". There is plenty more but for now I would like restrict.

And so here is my statement to all you members who call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male:

While I am happily living my day to day life , you are brooding and cursing your miserable married life but you call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Why does the Indian Society detest the Single Indian Male

My Dear Single Indian Male Friends,

Greetings for the day!!!!

I hope you guys are doing good and are enjoying the winter. Its a pleasant season indeed, the cold climate, the pleasant weather, the hot beverages, the winter wear and for some lucky guys a lovely sex life, I mean if you are really having one (HIHIHIHIHIIIII)

Putting all the above things aside, I would like to write down my thoughts on the main topic i.e.why does the Indian Society hare and detest the Single India Male!!!!! Any takers to my statement. Maybe none.

People of the Indian Society don't like us and i will be very frank about it. And please, I am not imagining, I am not paranoid and I am certainly not schizophrenic. I am just being tuthful.

We the Single Indian Male challenge the very norms/rules that make up the pillars of the Indian Society. Every single man worth his salt gets married and when we dare to be different we are certainly looked upon with contempt and disgust.

One can see single females around, many of them have chosen to remain single because of their own personal reasons and I can very well understand that. But Men!!!! Seriously!!!! How many men have you seen remaining single all their lives because they made a choice.Chances are,  very few.

Our single status is a cause of concern to anyone and everyone around us. Relatives who just won't stop asking questions on when we we will get hitched or are trying to hook us up with some family friend they know who also happens to be single. Office colleagues who feel that we are desperate and need someone ( I still don't get it that how can one have such a weird imagination). But no one in India follows the principle "To Each on his own" or " Live and let live"

The fact is that the Indian Society can't see a single man living his life happily and enjoying. The fact is that many of our married counter parts are living a miserable life, a life filled with frustrations, loveless marriages, the resposnibilities, children, loans and EMI's etc and what not.

The Elderly people see us as rebels who are breaking the traditions. Protective parents see us as potential rapists, pedophiles and sex maniacs  who are out to abuse their children. Insecure husbands looks upon us to be a threat, the kind of bad boy who will snatch his wife. Landlords look upon us as trouble makers.

Al the above assumptions are made and perceived by the members of the Indian society.

But none of them are willing to accept that they (the people of the Indian Society) are secretly envying our single lives. We live life fully, we enjoy. We have our hobbies and we are creative. We have no responsibilities other than that of our parents or siblings. We have no burdens of EMI's or home loans. No children. No spouse with whom we are stuck forever even if we don't like/love them . The flexibility of changing jobs or pursuing our interests, freedom to join our dream organizations, the joy of backpacking and traveling alone. The enjoyment that we derive of going to watch movies in multiplexes, cinemas, shows/dramas, book events, plays, exhibitions etc while they are all stuck with that HAPPY INDIAN FAMILY. And not forget the jealousy you get when you see us lean and thin and TONED  ( because we have time to exercise and work out) while you are having a pot belly just waiting to burst out. Our grooming makes people go green with envy.

When perceptions and realities don't match people find it hard to accept. Time and again, movies have shown the single man to be brooding, a man with broken heart who also happens to be alcoholic, a depressed man who is perpetually crying, man who is waiting for a princess to come along. Now that's what movies show, but in reality when people see us happily enjoying our lives, all they can do is hate.

So be it, let them hate us. Let them say all sorts of things, you know, losers, irresponsible, uncommitted, free living, hippy, hermits and whatever. We are what we are, the Single Indian Men  and we will live our lives the way we want it to be.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Single Indian Male and Counselling Women

Counseling, hmmmmmmmm what does this mean???? For starters, I take this definition from the word web dictionary, it means Direction or helpful suggestions regarding a decision or future course of action.

In India, our country , our motherland, it seems that each and every second person is some sort of a counselor, imparting free advice to whomsoever he/she can , at any given time or in any given setting. Ohhh, people in our country love giving advices.

Now how does this concern us and by us I mean the Single Indian Male. Other than being treated like some kind of small child, we feel that some one is disturbing our privacy and requesting us to live in a way that they want us to.

Starting with the root cause of this matter, lets first identify who these Counseling women are (other than your Mother and Sister):

Your Office Colleague (Who seems to be happily married, i mean SEAMS TO BE )
Your Subordinate
Near and far female relatives
Next door neighbor (yaaa the woman who has chosen to be a housewife and has no other work in life)
Your Female Boss ( In case she happens to be a real female, hihihihihihihihi)

These are just a few examples but there can be many more.

And what the hell or heaven on earth would be their problem. Hmmmm , they can't see us being single living a solo live. Why????? I don't know man!!!!! Because it is impossible to read a woman's mind, and not even god has been able to do, we are just ordinary mortals.

These woman seem to live some sort of picture perfect life, a happy family, decent education, a satisfying career and a decent job. They have nothing to complain about. Some of them are happily married having caring husbands and lovely children. Everything in their life is perfect.

So when we as the Single Indian male happen to cross their paths in whatever ways, we somehow are looked upon to be an imperfect specimen in their so called perfect world.They feel that we are sad, depressed, lonely, brooding and god knows what as per their imagination. They feel that we are desperate for some type of female companionship

And so they counsel us, counsel us on getting married, counsel us on the joys of a married life, on joys of having a family or children. I can understand that. But what i can't understand is that why can't they just stop counseling and leave us on our own. We do have a life. Whatever we do, i.e if we go out watch movies alone, if we eat alone at a restaurant or we enjoy a nice cup of coffee at at coffee shop, they come with one sort of solution and that is to get married.

If all of the above were not enough, they even find someone who they feel will be our perfect partner, when i mean someone, that means maybe her friend, or some nearby or close relative who unfortunately also happens to be single. Oh dear.

At times I am not able to fathom what is the problem with such counseling women???? Why is it that they want to remote control other peoples  lives??? Why they feel that they can bring solace to the suffering of everyone on earth?????

They do not understand that we are happy being single an even more happier living our life. They  don't realize that may just maybe we have not been lucky to have a happy go lucky life like them, that we have problems in associating with someone, that we are better off if left alone, that we are independent, can take care of our selves and do not need anyone to complete us.

Sometimes I wish they could understand this, but alas they don't. So, what what does the Single Indian male do, nothing, he just listens for the time being and then goes on to do what he feels is right.

Let the counseling Indian Women talk, at best they can only do that.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The SIngle Indian Male and the small town/city mentality

The Small town /city mentality!!!!!What does this mean?????? Err. Simple. Leave behind big metro cities in this country and you are exposed to the small town/city mentality and what would that be my dear sir???? Well, it is the narrow minded thinking of the people of small towns and cities.

We as the single Indian Men may at times have to  relocate to smaller cities or towns in order to find better opportunities, better career prospects, good salary raises, an opportunity to work in area of your interest and many other reasons.

While at work we may be happy and content finding one hundred job satisfaction, on the personal level there is nothing but frustration and dissatisfaction. Reason????? Small town mentality!!!!!!!

This is nothing but the narrow minded thinking of the people and a rigid Indian society that they live in, as a society that never changed with time. And how do we as the Single Indian Men get affected by it????? Oh Man, give me one reason why we don't.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

On the Posibilities of taking endless travels across India

My dear single Indian Male Friends,

Greetings for the season!!!!!!

Diwali is over and once again life is on track for all of us. We are back to our jobs and workplaces.(Much to our unhappiness and displeasure)

I hope you all must have done some fun loving things during the festive season other than eating sweets and blowing crackers.

Anyways, today i would like to discuss on the aspect on taking endless travels across India, our country, our nation and our motherland.

Okay!!!!! Now before you raise your objections and say What??? Why??? How Come????? and all that stuff. I would put in some words of wisdom and say why not dude??? Is there some problem????

I can understand that many of you guys would have traveled abroad to western countries and the far east and think that traveling across the Indian  subcontinent is an obsolete idea indeed, but  before you jump to conclusions of your own ,let me assure you that think it all over again.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM- An Open letter to my Readers and crtitics alike.

DOTSIM stands for the diary of the Single Indian Male.

I start my blogpost by wishing everyone a very happy diwali and greetings of the season.

Over the past few months my blog posts have been read and  appreciated by some readers while some of them criticized my writings stating that they found it sarcastic, anti-women, patriarchal, sexist and  to an extent t that I, the writer seems to be sexually frustrated,  on a look out for women to sleep with.

First of all i would like to clarify that my blog is intended for the so called species of the single Indian men, something that used to be rare in our Indian Society is now gradually rising in numbers, thankfully more and more men have taken the decision to be single and when i say single Indian men , i refer to the Urban, educated, upwardly mobile, middle and upper middle class men, men who are professionals, well educated and hold respectable jobs. It is certainly not aimed at the average frustrated Indian male who happens to be single because he is an incompetent person, a man who has failed both on the personal and professional fronts, having no other option but to stay single and not to forget men who belong to regions and communities of India where female foeticide and infanticide is a common practice.

My posting  here describes the feelings of the Single Indian men, the advantages of being single, the problems and challenges faced by us in an increasingly intolerant and prejudiced society, on ways to improve the quality of our lives and a lot more.

There are many websites and blogs for the single Indian Women, but there are hardly any for us. If you want to verify , please google blogs on the Single Indian Male, chances are you will find limited sites.I am trying to create a forum where single Indian Males can meet, read, share and discuss on common issues.

And no, this blog was, is and will never be anti-women, patriarchal, misogynist or sexist in nature. It is sad to see that the Digital Indian Media is filled with all kinds of anti Indian man write ups, from being labelled as a rapist to a pedophile, from being called a mama's boy to a pathetic and a worthless husband and what not, but still we the Indian men neither protest nor do we find it inflammatory. But if we write something and something that is really truthful about the Indian Women within the backdrop of the Indian Society,  readers find it offensive. OHHHH C'mon grow up, learn to accept life with a pinch of salt. And please tell me??Are all the women we come across in our society or country SATI SAVITRI'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, i mean really!!!! , is that the real scenario, i completely disagree.

And Sex, what is wrong if some of my write ups are on this Topic.Why is such an important need to tabooed in our society??? Do the Single Indian Women only have the right to discuss this topic on online forums????Is it a copy right of the female fraternity??? If we Indian Men write on our sexual desires on an online forum, we are labelled as perverts, sexual maniacs, frustrated dogs with a raging libido.!!!!!!!! Oh Yaaa!!!! So , my dear Indian Women , with whom are you going to have sex with , some Pakistani or Afghan across the border or some African who is our country on a student visa ( and well drug trade). Grow up, women , grow up. I am not giving advices to anyone on molesting and raping an innocent female. I am just sharing my opinions and thought processes with like minded single Indian Men. And please don't tell me that you don't like sex!!!!!!!!! Stop being a bloody hypocrite!!!!!

My blog wants to bring out some harsh realities about the Indian Society to all my online readers, realities which we have often denied, realities that we  accepted, tolerated and kept quiet, realities that have  ruined the lives if some of us, realities that give us hope in a society filled with gloom and despair.

I will continue to blog and share my thoughts, whether you like it or not, whether you appreciate it or not.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

On Buidling that small beautiful world of yours

The Diary of the Single Indian Male would like to discuss on the topic on building a small world of yours, that small beautiful world of  yours filled with peace, joy, love and happiness.

As the wise single Indian male i would like to enumerate a few points below:

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

DOTSIM-On the need to keep oneself positively engaged

DOTSIM stands for the diary of the Single Indian Male.

Positive Engagement, what does that mean, some of the single Indian men must be thinking of getting engaged to someone positively!!!! HAHAHAHHA, no my friends , positive engagement is about keeping oneself engaged in activities which have a positive outcome.

Living alone/single is not easy, that also in the Indian Society,situations at times can drive you mad. Many of us have decent jobs and we may love our work, but there is a life after 5 O clock, there is a life on weekends, there is a life during holidays.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Tips on Watching a Movie in a Multiplex Alone, all by yourself

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male.

Hello Friends,

Wish you all a very Happy Janmashathami!!!!!!!!! (Please Excuse the Spelling)

We all , as the Single Indian Males love to watch movies ( at least 90 percent of the guys reading this post)

And what would it take to watch your favourite movies that have  been released recently in  Multiplexes over the city.


But then there comes a problem, and what would that be?????? Hmmmm, how to watch a movie alone.

After all we live in the Bloody Indian Society , well know for its discrimination towards the Single people.

But don't worry my friends, there is plenty of advice here on how to go about it.

First, just don't worry, pick your wallet, walk in to a multiplex, buy a ticket and watch the show.Initially it may be difficult but then you will get used to it,life is all about experimenting and experiencing.

Please do not depend on someone to accompany you. You are single so learn to enjoy your single life, there is no point in feeling insecure or guilty watching a movie all by yourself in a Multiplex, after all you go to shit in the washroom  alone , you don't take anyone along with you, Do you?????

Avoid the first day first show, that also the nights and the late nights, you will find the multiplex jam packed, the ticket rates raised to a higher level and of course the crowd will consist of the families and the extended families, who will end of talking  non stop throughout the movie, thus murdering your entertainment.Also try to avoid night and late night shows on weekends for the obvious reasons.

The best times to watch a movie in a multiplex for a Single Indian Male is on Weekdays, Morning and afternoon shows and Morning shows on Saturday and Sunday Mornings. Reasons , well , cheaper costs, less crowd, and good entertainment.

Take a half day leave  from your work and watch the movie, get up early on a Sunday and rush to the nearest multiplex to catch up with the Morning show, you will hardly find any families and will be able to watch the movie peacefully.

Eat something before you go to the multiplex, don't spend money on buying the snacks from inside when you know that you can buy the same thing outside at 1/10th the price. Alternatively after watching the movie, go and find some good eatery outside and fill your stomach.

Decide on what kind of movie you want to watch in a Multiplex, don't waste your hard earned money watching gibberish bollywood movies which you can easily download on your system through torrent. Also find out the multiplexes which screen award winning special movies which are often not watched by the general population.

Dress and groom up properly before going to watch a movie, just don't wear anything and end up looking like a slob. After all, the man who goes to watch a movie alone should look impressive. Carry something to pass your time in the waiting lounge while waiting for the movie to start . I mostly carry a book or a magazine. You can also get busy with your cell phone and browse the internet or play a game on your phone. Just be engaged, you should not feel depresses that everyone is a couple or a crowd and you are the only Mr.Single.

Do find the show timings and if you realize that the multiplex is screening two of your favorite movies, you may watch the movies back to back.

So be confident, be happy, take your chance and watch the movie all alone by yourself, because the Single Indian Male in India has every right to live and enjoy his life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

On not becoming the Last unwanted option for an Indian Woman

Dear Single Indian Male Friends,

Hope you guys are doing good. I had a short break from my work in order to relax for some time and recharge my creative mindset. 

I  write a blog post on how one should not become the last remaining option for the Indian Woman.

Most of you guys must be thinking on what i am trying to say.Well!!!! Its pretty simple, majority of you single guys who are reading this post happen to be bachelors, some,  even chronic bachelors. However you may be trying to change your status by getting hitched. Right or Wrong is something for you to accept.

The time tested solution to get hitched in the Indian Society is by asking our parents/ relatives to find someone or then if we happen to work in a modern workplace , i mean real modern workplace where the women come with a modern mindset, then you can expect to find someone there.

But before you start building your castles in dreams, i want to wake you up. PLEASE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean are you someones last option who is being considered for marriage. At your workplace, is that woman who is responding to your overtures just because she has failed to find that special someone or she is considered as unwanted goods (fat, obese, thin, anorexic, toxic, desperate, lacking manners) and now she feels that you are the last remaining option, think twice my friend, maybe your colleagues are sad to see you live a lonely life and are trying to get you hitched to someone they know, and maybe just maybe that someone is the dejected and rejected person and all someone wants you tie her up with you in holy matrimony.

You go home and your parents and family want you to get married to someone they know. Now everyone does not happen to be an an IIT-IIM passout or some Doctor Sahab who gets to choose the best of the girls or maybe that guy is chosen because of his professional and financial credentials, after all no matter how modern and liberated the Indian Women call themselves,  they often settle down for financial stability even if they have to marry a dork.

Now, a lot of us don't belong to the category that i have mentioned above, we are above average and are doing  jobs in good organizations. We earn  good salaries but do we make the sought after grooms????? I really doubt that.

So coming back to the topic, i can imagine that once you go home to visit your folks you are made to meet girls, you know, the types who belong to your caste, community, religion , gotra and sub gotra. You soon realize that you are considered as the last option, some kind of garbage where a desperate demoralized father wants to dump his daughter. This type of girl for some reason is not accepted elsewhere and she happens to get married to you because you are some sort of last resort.

How do you feel?????? That,  from being a desirable person you are taken to be the least desired. Relations made out of compromise and desperation don't last for long, once that honeymoon phase of life is over , real life starts and it is never easy to compromise all your life.

Have i gone through this situation in my life??? Yes, plenty of times, i mean what else can i go though. Though i have good academic credentials and hold a decent job, but i happen to be an Orphan and a homeless destitute, no one to talk/speak on my behalf other than my foster sister who cares for me like her very own child.

But the reality is that I have become the last option for others, i get matrimonial offers often from dejected and the rejected women and more from their desperate parents, siblings who want to get such women married.

And then i say, are we so bad that we have stoop to such low levels???? Have we lost our self respect???? No , my friends , we don't have to compromise. Given the fact that we have our own limitations, but there is no need to compromise. Live single and be happy.

As i have mentioned in the previous blogpost on becoming the desirable Single Male (please read it) , one must work on becoming a better person and find happiness in his solitude.

So my friends, please go out and focus on your life. And don't , please don't become the last unwanted option for the  some dejected and rejected Indian Woman.


This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth:DOTSIM-On not getting depressed by Facebook and other Social Media Uploads

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male

Social Media, something that revolutionized the way we communicated. The decade of 2000's saw the emergence of two forms of online social media, first it was orkut and then it was facebook, twitter was a distant cousin and became interesting for microbloggers.

But my discussion today in not on different types of social media's. It is on how the single Indian male gets affected by the same.

Affected!!!! By Social Media!!!!! I mean you couldn't be serious????????

Yes I am!!!! Imagine , you joined the Social Medial mostly Facebook to get in touch with your friends and just be in the league. This was mostly during your college days. You and your friends then got settled in their respective jobs, happy as ever.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM- A Solitary Exstenence in 30's

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Man.

What can I say about solitary existence, is it worth it??? I don't know!!!!!

I have now entered the decade of my 30's , but life seems all the same for me. Except that there are more responsibilities at work.

I go about doing the same routine that i used to do before like getting up getting ready, going to work, coming back, exercising, reading, watching movies, listening to music and all that.

I happy to be living a life of my choice at my terms and conditions. No obligations to fulfill. 

Somewhere i see the signs of age catching on me, my hairs have now started graying, my forehead has noticeable creases.

But i don't care, i dress and groom well, after all age is a sign of maturity. 

My priorities have however changed, i have started thinking more in terms of investments for my future, i am working on my dream to buy a small house (apartment/flat) so that i can it my dream home. I try to take maximum care of health in order to prepare for the old age.

As written previously, i have given up on marriage and on the possibility of finding a soul mate. In the Indian Society, Orphans like me are nothing but outcasts whom the society does not want.

And still this very Indian Society is not ready to tolerate a single man living a happy life, it just looks that in India everybody wants anybody to get married. Strange!!!!

And as of now i just concentrate on my dreams and my work and hope that one day i can make it to the City of Delhi-National Capital Regions. What has the Single Indian Male have to fear from???

Till then i bid my time and keep on working.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth:DOTSIM: Single, Partly due to Destiny, Partly by compulsion and partly by choice

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male:

Today the Single Indian Male Bhaveen Sheth writes the reasons on why he is still single:

Destiny, compulsion and choice!!!! Three words , when they meet an intersection, they define my single status.

I have time and again mentioned in my previous blogs, that I am an Orphan, having lost my parents at an early age and of course having no one to stand by my side , i have worked my way to my present professional level.

The self made man in often looked upon with respect and honour, this may apply to other countries and societies. In India and the Indian society the self made man has never got his due. Above everything Family background determines your core identity and not you an an individual self.

In a society that prizes eligible bachelors and suitable boys as potential suitors for marriage, i happen to be left as an outcast. Not that I am a looser of some sort. I have a masters degree, a decent and a respectable job, i earn a good salary, have got enough savings, my future career prospects are bright, a property matter is in litigation and soon i may inherit it. But as I have no family and at present I am living like a homeless destitute in a boys hostel, i am not considered to be marriageable material.

The Society does not accept me, even though it accepts accused rapists and murderers who have serious criminal charges pending against them in the court of law and yet they get married. Sometimes it makes me laugh at the double standards of the Indian Society.

People of my category cannot love or marry someone because we have no family background. 

Strong compulsions from the Indian  Society has forced me to make a parallel. existence for my own self away from the society. And tell you what I have no problems with that. 

Among the eligible, i am the ineligible , among the suitable i am the unsuitable, among the desired i am the undesirable, among the accepted , i am the unaccepted.

The last reason for being single is choice, this has taken importance in the later years of my life , late 20's and early 30's. It is then that wisdom dawned upon me and i realized that I was better of staying single.

Traveling to different parts of India, moving to different organizations, i met a broad spectrum of people and had an open view of their lives.Majority were married and believe me , their life was a living hell. However , they faked it, they faked that they had a happy married life, they faked that they were content with their lives, they faked that they were satisfied with their jobs.

If an Olympics were to be held in Faking happiness, Indians would get all the prizes.

Truth was that they were living a miserable life, married to wrong spouses, everyday fighting and screaming, frustrated with life, frustrated with jobs, no satisfaction in life, no sex life, no creativity, a life devoid of excitement , a life lived merely by protocols,routines and norms. HOW PATHETIC!!!!! 

The truth was and the truth is that majority of the people in the Indian society are merely existing and not living.

I introspected myself and asked was I also going to live a life like my fellow Indians??? A life of misery, pain, hatred, dejection and dissatisfaction??????? I looked up in the Sky and saw a lonely eagle flying, happy and content with life and then i looked at the creatures on the ground and i mostly saw street dogs. Street dogs live a miserable life and so do my fellow Indians and it is sad that majority Indians have chosen to live this way either to follow the societal norms or to meet someone else s great  expectations.

And so I conclude the closure of this Blog post on why I am single.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the say, will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth: DOTSIM: Please don't become a LOOSER, A BLOODY LOOSER

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male.

Such a Looser!!!! This is a comment on and off that I often happen to overhear in many women's conversations. They assign this term specifically to those males who are desperate after woman and would end up showing a dog like submission to impress a woman or in trying to get her approval.

OH DEAR!!!!!! How cheap. Its amazing to see the Indian Male who otherwise brags about his Masochism and who also happens to be the  by product of Patriarchal Misogynist Society wagging his tail and frothing his mouth just like an Urban Street Dog.

Okay!!! Jokes apart. Lets come the meaning that I would like to convey though my blogpost.

I have already mentioned about being the desirable single male in in 30's and 40's. For those who have not read it, please go to the same on the following link.

India has its fair share of loser's. And you can't blame anyone for it.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM:Are you marriage material???? Are you ready to take up the responsibility of Marriage???

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male:

How do I begin and what do I say. This something difficult to ask the average Indian man and of course to the above average and below average Indian male.

Strange are the ways of life and even stranger are the ways of the Indian Society. But before we embark on the Journey of this discussion and sharing my Gyaan (Knowledge), i would like to explain what does "Marriage Material" mean.

Marriage Material means that you posses the qualities of being eligible for marriage, that you are physically, mentally, socially and psychologically prepared to get married and take responsibilities. You put your family above everything, your spouse has to become the most important person in your life, you make sacrifices to make your marriage work.

And so I ask this question once again to the single Indian Male, are you ready to take the responsibility to get married????

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Awaiting my relocation to a Metro City

DOTSIM stands for the diary of the Single Indian Male:

Not a day goes by when i don't think of a Metro city, of how i would be happy relocating out there, working in a good organization, enjoying all the modern amenities that a Metropolitan City has to offer. WOW!!!!! Just Amazing.

At present i am living in a semi-urban city. It has all the amenities that is required for a normal person to live life and enjoy, however after some point of time this semi-urban town just sucks. One gets bored living out here.

One of the greatest problems with tier 2 and tier 3 cities in India is that the people still have that backward traditional Indian mentality. They find it difficult to accept a Single Indian Male living alone all by himself , the same applies to a single woman.

My lifestyle itself is perceived as eccentric by them. Not to forget that such small cities and towns offer very little amenities to a single man who is looking to chill out after work.

There are hardly any good libraries, bookshops, eat outs, cinemas, cultural activities and events, malls and what not. Just nothing. I don't even have an access to better Internet facility, just that BSNL, where getting a connection in today's date is like applying for a telephone facility the 60's or the 70's.

And how i think of those Modern cities, the life and the vibrant people that i plan to meet in the near future. That fun of working along with competent people.

The small city people complain of the difficulties and complexities put up by a city life. The hectic travel, the struggle and well what ever. There is no shortage of whiners and complainers in my country.

I do understand that there are problems and challenges faced by a person living in a city. But it won't be much for me, the single Indian male. No wife, no kids , just me relocating somewhere.

I dream and i dream and promise myself to buy a residential apartment in one of those gated communities of a city that provides all facilities. I dream of having that hall where i can come back from work, relax and watch a good movie on a flat screen interactive television. Taking a hot shower in that jacuzzi and having a small pint of royal scotch or a hot coffee.

And what fun would it be just going around, touring the big city, walking through the malls, getting invited to social functions, attending parties, catching up with some good movies in multiplexes, watching plays, exploring eateries spread around in the city, taking photographs of the life going by.

My imagination is endless, but there is this hope kindled in my heart and everyday i promise myself that one fine day i will go to that big city. I will relocate to the City of my dreams and make my life.

Till then i work everyday to develop my skills and work on each and every area where i can make my self competent. I take this period of my life as a training and redeeming period and everyday i work on myself to make my self a better person.

So that one day i can relocate to a big city  and live the life of my dreams.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day , will be back with a lot.

Bhaveen Sheth

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth: Violence Inflicted by the Indian Women on Males

DOTSIM stands for Diary of the Single Indian Male.

Today I would like to share my thoughts of the violence that women inflict on men in our Honourable Indian Society.

A lot has been discussed on how violent Indian men are, on the atrocities committed by men on the female population of this country. Media, Newspapers and the Internet is filled with all such stuff.

But does anyone speak of the violence that the female population does on its men????? No, this does not come out in the open.

Because the violence is not physical so it can never be noticed or deciphered.

The violence is mental and emotional in nature that drives any man to an extreme level of insanity and makes him  a lunatic.

I have seen it and seen it all. It is amazing how a women especially the Indian species can be meticulous and dexterous in inflicting unprecedented harm on their men.

One strong weapon that they commonly use is nagging, constantly nagging their man , comparing him with others.

It is sad to see that there are millions of Men who have go through this form of unspoken violence on a day to day basis and yet they chose to remain quiet and go on with their daily lives.

Do you  Indian women realize what we the males undergo when you nag us, scold us, put us down and criticize us especially when you are ones whom we have given our heart to.

Everyday you tell us that we are incompetent, useless, good for nothing and what not. We are worthless Husbands and irresponsible fathers. Our hard earned salaries cannot satisfy your greed and hunger for materialistic things.
Our increments and bonuses hardly put up a decent smile on your face. You just want more , more and more.

But i would like to ask you a decent question???

You want us to achieve the heaven for you and you don't even put a single effort in working equally in getting a good income. Why??? You think yourself to be a fairy princess living her life in a dreamland???

You don't like the way we look, they way we dress, the way we eat, they way we go about doing our work. Then why did you fall in love and marry us in the first place???

Aren't you happy that you are still married and have a husband who takes care of you and protects you especially in a society which is ignominiously famous for heinous crimes against women.

And when things don't work out you go an file criminals cases against your husbands under the sections of dowry prohibitions act and domestic violence act. You use all the clauses under the Hindu marriage act to get maximum alimony from your husband. You make his life miserable by washing your dirty linen in public an brand you husban to be a criminal.

And of course if you happen to have depressive mentalities and end up committing suicide , you write your husbands/boyfriends name in the suicide note. you end up going to hell but you make his life a living hell.

You the Indian woman who lives single in a Metro city and watches the sitcoms of sex in the city gets fantasized by it and tries sexual experimentation, you sleep with a man unknown to you, you go and have a live in relationship with him and then suddenly you realize that you are the Indian Woman who wants to get married and have babies,you propose marriage to your live in partner and he flatly refuses. So what do you do, go and file a rape case against your live in partner and claim that you were sexually exploited on the pretext of marriage. What do you get by tarnishing some innocents guys image in the society????

You  go around doing your slutting and whoring  and then claim innocence like some sati savitri bhartiya nari.

The same applies in workplace and promotion, you don't mind sleeping with that boss of yours to get promotions and increments , but one fine day when he stops showing interest in you, you file rape charges against him. You did not mind yourself being raped when you were being given the benefits???? Gosh!!!! What double standards you Indian Women have. I am astonished.

But then I hardly say anything , myself being a passive member of this society. i just observe and see what gruesome violence the women inflict on the men of the Indian Society.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-On becoming the Desirable Male

DOTSIM stands for Diary of the Single Indian Male.

The last 3 months months have been a roller coaster ride for me. It is just that some days ago, i seriously looked at myself in the mirror and realized to my utter horror that i had gained weight and had acquired an expanding girth. I just hated it. I hated to see myself gaining weight and becoming fat. So i decided that it was enough and made a decision to become lean once and for all.

As the single Indian Male who has decided to remain single unless someone falls in love with me truly, madly and deeply, i have this goal of being a desired person.

And i would say that all the single Indian Men should become desired and why not. I was lost in the train of thought this morning and realized that if you want to be desired you have to work for it.

Furiously as i type my thoughts and feelings on my computer on a humid Sunday evening, i feel more and more attuned towards my goals of becoming a desired person in the coming years, of being desired and admired by both the younger and older women.

To the feminists especially the Indian creed reading this post, please note that I am not a misogynist and by the statement of the Indian Constitution i am bestowed the the right of free speech.

Being single is no longer a stigma in the Society, many people are happy living single and they are enjoying every moment of it.

But there are times when we the single men need some sort of companionship, we need to have an affair (even though it may be short term), we need to fulfill our basic needs.

In short i would like to say that we also have the desire and the right to have sex. 

Now c'mon don't raise your eyebrows and be surprised, i am not being a pervert, remaining single  does not mean that we have to follow celibacy and remain virgins for our entire lives. That is for nuns and monks, not normal men like us.

So what one needs to do to become a desirable man once he is single and in his 30's , 40's and 50's.

First thing, that I intend to do and i expect my single Indian male brethren  to follow suit is to work on your fitness. Work and work hard. Jog, run, hit the gym , lift weights, do endless cardio, eat right, stop drinking. 

SCULPT YOUR BODY, it is never late, remember, Aamir Khan in Gajhini, he did it in his 40's, so what are we waiting for on i would say what am i waiting for.

Women love a sculpted body, something which is becoming rare in India. Once a man enters his 30's he ends up acquiring a a pot belly that will even put a none month pregnant woman to shame.

Secretly women have wild desires of making love a man having a sculpted body. In India most of them don't have that privilege, married to pathetic rotten men, these men turn to be awful in bed. All the end up doing is WHAM BAM THANYOU MAM. No foreplay and no post coital love and caressing.

Well , i have set up this goal that in the coming years i want a sculpted body, no matter what.

The second thing is read, read and read. Nothing can substitute the written word, the more you read, the more intellectual you become. You can quote words, one liners and jokes. Imagine , just imagine, what happens when you set a woman laughing. I am a avid reader and i very well know that when it comes to words and language , i can seduce a woman through it. But this means speaking and quoting the elitist english. (however it may not apply to the country Gujarati bens and the Punjabi Kudis) because their level of intellect is far below it.

Talks on interesting topics can stimulate the mind of a woman, and yes women do dig for intellectual men. Many women especially in India are married of through the pathetic system of arranged marriage to a looser, yes the Looser Indian males, who are not worth a penny or pound outside the functional domain of their jobs. 

I want to travel and travel the length and breadth of this country. Explore places and of course meet the diverse women of this Country. Traveling to different place makes you look like and interesting man. Imagine posting photos of myself on different social networking sites and writing on blog posts on my travels. There is always something interesting about the lone ranger especially if he happens to have a thin lean sculpted body and appears intellectual from his talk and seduces woman with his words. HMMMM now that's a package deal.

And last but the mostly the most important one, learn the art of love making. But that did not mean that you go an watch worthless porn movies. I meant to say learn real love making. Though I am still a virgin, i love to read some snippets on love making literature, different sex positions, foreplay, getting a woman stimulated, post coital caressing, caring and of being a real gentleman in bed. There are a lot of books available. There is information available online.

And experiment , ohhh i would just love to experiment love making on someone. But please don't go to some prostitute in GB Nagar (Delhi) or Grant Road ( Mumbai).  You don't want to catch STD's , right. I mean find a woman, who just wants sex, she does not have to be beautiful, but if you can go and experiment love making on her , whats the harm. It would be like doing her a favour by experimenting different positions on her.  How many Indian men are really innovative in bed???????? The possibility is that there are just a few.

Yes , I want to become a desirable male , a man who is desired by women in their wildest dreams. A man whom women would dream of having a lovely session of love making. 

I am not ashamed of putting forward my basic need.If women can stay single yet have multiple partners to enjoy have sex with, then why can't we do the same.

Is it a crime to satiate and fulfill my basic desire. So my dear Indian Single male friends, lets take an oath that we work hard and become the desirable Indian Male so that its is the women who desire and chase us and not vice-verse.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the Day, will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-The Ineligible Bachelor/The Unsuitable Boy

DOTSIM stands for the The Diary of the Single Indian Male.

This Blog Post is a Satirical writeup on myself.

I draw Inspiration from the titles of two books, The Suitable Boy written by Vikram Seth and The Ineligible bachelor written by some chickilit Author.

I am by default an ineligible bachelor/unsuitable boy in the Indian Society, for the brides who are looking for a perfect match and for Parents and the family of a prospective bride who are looking for the perfect son in law or groom, i stand to be an absolute reject.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-She was my Aapa/She is my Aapa/ She will always remain my Appa


I remember , seven years ago, there was this sweet young girl who sat beside me in the college library. Down to earth and simple, maintaining equanimity. She was my aapa.

She became on of my best seniors who guided me through my course subjects during my masters degree program and kept me equally optimistic about the future. She was my appa

I remember those days when i had no one to speak to and she would give me her time and listen to my problems. She was my aapa.

I remember the first time i cried, i cried with my head on her shoulders and she supported me and gave me all the solace that my troubled soul needed, she was my aapa.

There were difficult courses that i never understood and she took time from her schedule and sat with me so that i could learn them. She was my aapa.

Before the beginning of every exam and after its end i would go and meet her and she would give her good wishes  and support me during those times. She was my aapa.

She would warn me about those from whom i keep a distance and be careful. She was my aapa.

She completed her masters and went back to her hometown and we remained in touch through mobile phone. Every day we would converse and she would keep me optimistic. Her sweet encouraging voice made up for her absence. She was my aapa

I went through the trials and tribulations of finding a job and yes there were times, when our relation was tested, but she remained solid as a rock and ecouraged me to face difficulties and challenges. She was my aapa.

Financial crisis did take a toll on me and it is at that point when she took out money from her salary and sent it to me on a monthly basis, a gesture that i will never forget. She was my aapa.

It was through her help and her sources that i got a good job, i will never forget her for that. She was my aapa.

I changed jobs, went abroad, came back and during all these times that i have been in touch with her, she has remained the same person , always listening to me and supporting me.

I got the job of my choice and today i have made a good position for myself, it is all because of her. She is my Aapa.

Last month, i had gone to her house. In the last 13 years for the first time i ever went to a place called home. She gave me the home coming that a mother gives to her son. She fed me and took care of me. She is my Aapa.

To a Homeless destitute orphan like me, who had no one in this world to finding someone who was not even related to me in any manner  made me realize that god had left someone who would take care of me.

When i complete this blog post, i have tears in my eyes, tears of happiness and joy of having someone who has selflessly done so much for me.

To the person who has been been my best friend, sister, mother, parent, guardian and mentor. I owe you lot . And i promise that one day i will relocate to a place nearer to you so we can be together.

You were/you are and you will always remain my AAPA.

To my sweet Sister- Charu Sinha

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM- Some Girls have it all

DOTSIM stands for Diary of the Single Indian Male:

Before I proceed, i must warn that this blog post may appear to be sexist and chauvinist , so strong idealistic feminists are to avoid it. This has been written from the sole perspective of a Single Indian Male.

Dear Friends,

I continue my story on How some Girls or would i say women have it all. Yes they have it all, money, a great life, richness and all the pleasures that the 21st century can offer.

No I do not envy, bust just being a mute observer of the rapidly progressing Indian Society, i state that some women have it all.

They are born in a lap of luxury with a platinum spoon in their mouths and if  they are not, they get the best of the things during their childhood.

School is fun for them, all facilities given, no questions asked. College starts, parents are there to pay a hefty fee. They get the best of the education. They enjoy life, good looks help them find boyfriends. They have a nice time, they loose their virginity ( No harm in that).

College is over and now they prepare for a Masters Degree, if it is abroad parents once again parents are there to pay a hefty fee or if it is about taking admission in an elite College in India, no worries, these girls register with the most expensive coaching institutes, they get admission, join the course and complete the same.

With education over, now it is the time to get a decent job. Yaaa, good looks and communication skills help you in getting one and if that is not an option, daddy can always give a call to someone, activate old contacts and get his darling daughter a job. Typical Political appointment.

And finally it is time for the D day to come, marriage.The most discussed and awaited event in every Indian Household. MARRIAGE.

And marriage it is to a nice decent Indian Khaandani Family whose son is a super achiever ( IIT-IIM Pass out, DOCTOR sahab etc etc). But only one problem, they want pure Indian virgin bride.

Hmmmmm, but the girl has lost her virginity during her college years to some stud or some punk. Well, no problem, the matter is discussed in a hush hush manner. A cosmetic surgeon is contacted, absolute secrecy is maintained in the deal. They girl's hymen is sutured, her virginity is restored and now she meets the specification of being a 100 percent pure Indian Virgin.

The big fat Indian marriage is held. Money (Black or White) is burnt is all ways which a normal person cannot fathom. A new record is set where a different type of marriage was held. The Grandest of all grand ceremonies.

Honeymoon in an exotic foreign locale.

And married life resumes its normal course. Some years down the line this women in endowed with a beautiful child. And you look at her and you see it all. A rich husband,a penthouse, an expensive car, the latest mobile and the list goes on and on and on.

And I , Bhaveen Sheth, the homeless destitute Orphan observes it all. And i say one sentence, just one sentence "Some girls have it all".

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with some more.