Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Wisdom from Arundhati Roy

I love to read the articles of activist  cum columnist Arundhati Roy.She is is a lady who needs no introduction. For those who don't know her please visit her Wikipedia link below to get a better insight:

A few day ago, I cam across a famous quote from one of the books authored by her titled as the "War Talk".

The quote goes something like this:

"Our strategy should not only be to confront an empire but to also lay siege to it.To deprive it of oxygen. To  shame it. To mock it. With our art , our music our literature, our stubbornness , our joy, our brilliance, our sheer restlessness and our ability to tell our own stories that are different from the ones we are brainwashed to believe"

I know that the above quote applies to autocratic and dictatorial governments that want to subjugate their populations.

But I feel that the above quote also applies to the Indian society. A society hell bent on brainwashing people and forcing them to follow unwanted rules and regulations.

To all my single Indian male friends out there, go ahead and live your single life with no complaints. Show the world that we the single men can live a quality life.

Go ahead and make these so called happily married couples realize that single Indian men too can live a happy life.

Go ahead indulge yourself, start loving arts, watch good movies, read wonderful books,attend seminars and conclaves. Go on road trips, visit different parts of India, do your daily chores, pay your bills, wash and iron your clothes, cook good food, exercise, lift weights, swim , run a marathon, go to a sex worker, date a woman, eat at good restaurants, take up advanced professional certifications, rise in your career.

But remain stubborn, stand up for what you believe in. make your own story. A story of your own life that will be unconventional.Go ahead and tread a different path and let people be inspired by your life..

Go and tread your own course and don't get brainwashed by the philosophy of the Indian society.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will be back with a lot more.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Bhaveen Sheth on wisdom gained on turning 33 and dreams to fulfill

This year on may 13th 2015 I turned 33. I am still single. One of the few single men you will find these days. As the years go by, the count of single men in my age bracket will decrease

Age has its own advantages. You learn with experience and you certainly gain wisdom.

At 33 I have become wise, wise enough to live a happy life. In a few points below, I would like to share some of my statements, dreams and desires.

Age is just a number and one should not be worried about it.

I have stopped looking out or waiting for that special one. I am wise enough to understand in a materialistic society like ours which is equally divided on sectarian lines, I am the undeserving lot. Henceforth I started focusing on my life and have started doing things that will make me happy.

Fitness is my primary focus and I intend to improve my strength and endurance.

Careers and professional development is my primary focus. I will work everyday to rise in the corporate world.

I have distanced myself from toxic and negative people.Life is too short to spend time with such kind of people.

I have promised myself to travel the length and breadth of this country and see as many places.

In the coming years there will be more books to read and movies to watch.

A small studio apartment is all that I want and one day god willing I will have it.

One small car that gives a gives a good mileage and can travel on the national highways of this country.

Dream of relocating to the place where I can be with my sister and her family.

To have the best gaming console that will keep me engaged at all times.

To become a creative writer, an english language teacher , teaching english to adults.

This is what I want at the age of 33 . I hope to achieve the same.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out , will be back with a lot more.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Confessions of ineligible Indian bachelors: The orphans and children from separated and dysfunctional families

Bhaveen Sheth speaks for the ineligible Indian bachelors-The orphaned and the ones from separated and dysfunctional families.

Who are we??? What are we??? This is a question that we often ask ourselves everyday.

In my case, I am an orphan who does not have parents and for others who are reading this post are either born into dysfunctional families or come from separated families.There is even a term for this, some sociologists call it fractured families.

Everyone reading this blog post needs to understand that our childhoods have been extremely difficult, but in spite of all our problems we have managed to survive. Today many of us have made enormous professional accomplishments and hold jobs in reputed institutions.

But in spite of all our achievements and accomplishments we have never fully been accepted by the Indian society.

The message is loud and clear. In India no matter what you do, what you become , it is not your individuality but your family background that matters. Like all  normal men and women in this country , we too dreamed of finding a life partner , we too dreamed of getting married and having a loving and caring family of our own.

All those dreams, all those desires , all those aspirations came down falling like a pack of cards.It gradually came to our realization that in order to get married , one needed to belong to a decent family. Education and professional success did not matter, it was only your family background that decided who and what you were.

But what family can we represent? In my case there is none. For those who have left their dysfunctional families for good, it is extremely difficult , same applies to the ones who come from separated families. For those who have been bought up single mothers are always questioned on the absence of the head in the family.

What have we become??? The unwanted and the outcast!!!! To some extent our loved ones left us and to another extent we left our loved ones.

Our friends and colleagues have now got married and we observe,   we have observed these events as a mute spectator. On different social media sites we get to see uploaded photos of our friends, classmates, college mates getting engaged, getting married, going on a honey moon.and we remain silent observers.

No one thinks about us , no one considers us.

The state of ignominy that we are subjected to is terrible." You have no parents!!! How can I give my daughter to such a person???"You left your own family for good because there were serious problems? And you think that you will have a stable marriage?" " You say that your parents are separated?? And how can I get my daughter married to such a person?"After all we have a family reputation to maintain?"

"What is it like to  be made to feel abnormal in-spite of being normal?"How is it to feel like to be an outcast in-spite of having worked very hard and done your best to fit in.

But we take thing in our stride and continue to live our lives. We have accepted things with stoicism.

And as I finish writing this blog , there are a turn of events happening in this country involving people like us.

Somewhere an educated orphan is looking for his/her soul mate on an online matrimonial site but he is still not getting lucky.Till date he has faced nothing but rejections.Somewhere a man/woman who has left his/her dysfunctional family years ago is is getting ready to meet the parents of his/her loved one thinking  what he/she were going to say if questioned on his/her family background.Somewhere there is a middle aged single mother who is constantly worrying that who will marry her daughter.Some where there is a man who has been neglected , forsaken and abandoned because his/her parents chose to go on separate paths leaving this child alone.Somewhere there is a young single mother who is working very hard to achieve a work life balance and has just put her daughter to sleep wondering whether she will ever have a soul mate who will love her and take care of her. But she knows that in this society a single mother has limited chances of getting married.

And somewhere there is an orphan like me who has given up all hope on the institution called marriage.

So this is the confession , confession that bhaveen sheth, the single Indian man states on behalf of other orphans and members who come from separated and dysfunctional families.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing of for the day , will be back with a lot more