Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Why do some Indian Men remain single

With the changing times and influx of a western lifestyle , one can often notice the gradual changes that have come in the society.

One of the institutions that is being affected is marriage, as a lot of changes have happened in the last 10 years, changes that never happened within the Indian society in the last 1000 years. It is good to see a rapid turnaround in the society.

Coming to the topic of the single Indian man/male, it is still rare for a man not be  married. You can observe a lot of unmarried women in their 30's and 40's. They have their own reasons but you will find a limited number of Indian men who stay single all their lives.

In India three things, i.e. Bollywood, cricket and marriage are the most important preoccupations of the people. It becomes an inseparable part of their lives.

Indian men don't stay single, they are somehow married, no matter how old, dumb or ugly they may be, they have to get married. Now you understand why is the entire nation obsessed after getting Salman Khan and Rahul Gandhi married!!!!. Men are the prized possessions in the family and the family gets them married at any cost.

But then,  one does find Indian men who are still not married living a single life and unlike their female counterparts who have accepted singledom peacefully, such men are sad and brooding.

Here I would like to profile the Single Indian Male/men who stay single all their lives, majority out of their own fate and circumstances and not by choice.

1. The perpetual losers: These are men who are just ordinary, ordinary in looks, ordinary in personality and they hold mediocre jobs that are boring and does not pay a good salary. Yet , like ordinary mortal human beings, they aspire to get married. But, things don't work for them. In the Indian society, every Indian father wants to get his daughter married to the higher economic level in the society. These males do not find suitable matches and remain single all their lives. Common examples of such men are: the office boy, the driver, the clerk , the cashier at a shopping mall, the security guard etc etc.

Indian Women marrying less successful younger men!! Seriously!!!! I doubt!!!

The single Indian male came across the following blog in the  times of India, written an eminent writer.

The link is pasted below, kindly read it:

The 'little third' in a marriage!

The author states how some single successful women are not able to find good marital partners after a particular age and how they then try to hit upon successful married men.

The society considers these women to be the left over women and are viewed with a great suspicion and threat as they may break the  happy go lucky families by wooing the husband.

Some snippets from the blog:

"The discussions transported me back to a living room in Beijing a couple of months ago, where the topic of discussion was xiaosan or ‘The Little Third,’ a derogatory term used for women who ‘break up’ homes. The rampant phenomenon of girls brazenly targeting older, rich men has given rise to a fanatic rage amongst women in Chinese social circles. The Chinese are even considering legislation to make The Little Third pay damages for breaking a home!

Actually, the problem goes much beyond fatal attractions, extra-marital affairs or blame games. It is a real social issue that needs to be dealt with. An increasing number of women set upon building successful careers, miss the bus where marriage is concerned, waking up too late. The Chinese usually have interesting, though derogatory terms for such social categories and phenomena. This category of women is called ‘shengnu,’ or ‘leftover women’.    
Look around in your immediate vicinity; you will be surprised at the number of highly successful, unmarried women you will notice. Educated, well paid and confident, these women are not willing to lower their standards and make compromises. They may even be happy with single lives but come under overwhelming pressure from family to marry. And since all the good (read successful and rich) guys are taken, they do not have much choice.    
So it isn’t as if these women go looking for a married man to break up his marriage. These are the only available men who meet their standards. And surely, it is a test of character and of the strength of their marriages whether these men allow The Little Third to enter their sacred space or not. "
And the author offers a decent workable solution to such women
"A great solution would be if the successful women who already have it all, except a man in their lives, elected to marry down and marry younger – offer an unemployed and not-so-successful guy some privileges. The problem arises when they wish to have it all. For instance, Farah Khan married well, a younger guy with potential — Shirish Kunder — and even gave him a hand up professionally. Now they are happy with their triplets. When Kareena Kapoor linked up with Shahid Kapoor, she too would have ended up giving a leg up to a guy less successful than her; but things didn’t work out between them.    
So, how about it, women? Are you game for shifting perspective and looking a bit lower than traditionally acceptable? Choose and nurture men younger than you in time, if you are single and successful, and too ambitious to marry rightaway. Wouldn’t you love to be Sugar Mommies for a change? "
Ohhhhhh!!!! C'mon man , how can you be so naive. Do you really think that such successful Indian women will marry a less successful man or a younger person whom she will nurture. GOSH!!!! Looks like this author has lost sense of reality and is stating facts based on her wild and vivid imagination, she gives examples of people from the entertainment fraternity, the very lives of people which are not stable and are constantly rocked time and again under the glare of the media.
Sugar Mommies!!!!! Oh god!!!!! The truth is that such single successful women have very high expectations from their future partners, they are not willing to settle for less. Look around, look at all those online matrimonial sites, single successful women out there expecting a good look well settled husbands who can bring more salary home than them.
I have rarely come across a woman who has married someone who is less educated than her or earns a lower salary. This is the reality and it does not change in the materialistic Indian society.