Saturday, January 26, 2019

How a closed heart has kept me safe-Bhaveen Sheth INDIAN MGTOW

Over the years I have closed my heart. I have never allowed feelings of love and affection decide my behaviour. I have tried to remain away from the female gender and keep a safe distance. My interaction with women has always remained professional. Yes I have a closed heart, I don't express my feelings or emotions in front of women as I feel it will make me vulnerable.

I have become a bohemian who lives for himself. My social interaction is with limited number of people and I guess that is the way I have been over the years. Marriage proposals hardly came for me and I didn't bother much. I guess when you are adult orphan in India no family wants to associate with you. I have accepted that.

In matters of love and affections I have lived with caution. I chose not to develop feelings for any woman. Heartbreaks can be devastating. I feel that I have done the right thing by keeping a closed heart. It has kept me safe. I times of divorces and marital breakdowns, I am happy to not have gone through such things. I don't have the strength to lose someone again whom I have dearly loved. I guess I won't be able to take it.

I am happy with my solo life and will try to keep a closed heart. Can't say what the future holds but as of now the status quo remains the same.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the say and promise to be back with a lot more.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Not a street mongrel to take leftovers-Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW



Have you ever seen a street mongrel? I guess you have! In India we come across many such mongrels living in our cities and towns. Some of them are even found in our neighborhoods. I am sharing a picture of such a mongrel below:


Street mongrels don't have an easy life. No one is bothered about them. The world is indifferent to them and they have to fend for themselves. In India some people try to show some humanity towards but giving them left over food or food that seems to be rotten and inedible that no human being will eat. 

In some ways my life is like a street mongrel. Being an adult orphan, I share are a similar experience. On the professional front there is no problem but on the personal front I am very much left to fend for myself  and no one is bothered about me or my condition. But then some good people who know my story and empathize with me want to help me. But they end up doing more harm than good.

If you are an adult orphan you are socially disabled. These so called decent families would never want their daughters/sisters to marry you. Well wishers who wish to see me happy and settled try to refer prospective women and here is where the problem arises. My condition becomes exactly like those street mongrels. Out of sympathy, I have left over crumbs and inedible food thrown at me. Ya, this is the harsh reality. Most of the women I get referred to are the ones who are equally miserable as they have not been able to get married, divorcees, single mothers and women whom no normal man will marry. Well wishers portray as some poor depressed soul who needs companionship which is not the case. 

Don't I have a choice? Can't I have certain standards? No I can't? Even if I am a normal human being, the society does not treat me as an individual. Only the family background matters.

So here I state that I am not a street mongrel just to accept whatever is thrown to me. I prefer to be the lone wolf who can freely move around the forest in search for what he wants and live the life with respect and dignity.  I am sure you would have seen a lone wolf. This is how I see myself:

lone wolf

Some people may think that I am being misogynist but no. Every human being has a standard or basic expectations and same applies to be. 

As I end my blogpost, I state that I am no street mongrel to accept any leftovers thrown at me. The society can go to hell and I will have my cup of black coffee.


BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man needs to reclaim his space outside-Bhaveen Sheth-Inidan MGTOW-DOTSIM

The Single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth has a message for all other fellow single Indian men and fellow MGTOWs " Go outside and reclaim your space"

Yes my dear friend, you ought to reclaim your rightful place. I see so many single Indian men who just go back into their shells and become reclusive. Many single Indian men find solace in their empty homes, they do not wish to face the outside world. Work and groceries are the only thing that pushes the single Indian men to go outside. This is where we need to change.

We have to take ourselves out to watch movies in multiplexes, go and dine in good restaurants, attend some important events and travel across India in a bike or a car.

We just cannot become a recluse because we are single and don't have  a companion. We don't know what the future holds so why compromise our present. Your time won't come back and after soem years you will only have regrets on what you did not do.

This is me in the year 2017 at Gokarna railway station. I had taken a vacation for 10 days in order to explore Gokarana, located in South India, known for its famous beaches.

Take my advice, go outside and reclaim your space.

Bhaveen Sheth

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Indian parents not willing to accept the shortcomings of their children:Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

In a brief post below, the single Indian man writes his thoughts on how Indian parents are unwilling to accept the shortcomings of their children and the impact it has on the children when they become adults.

All parents love their children , no one can deny that. But there is a big difference in being being emotional and practical. With the rise in income , many parents pamper their children and overlook their shortcomings.

Children can have shortcomings in many ways. Some have major behavioural and emotional problems while others are extremely dependent on their parents for each and everything. Life skills is something that we Indians learn late in life. And then there are some children who are plainly dumb, they have a low IQ or some learning difficulty/disability. We all know that kid from the movie "TARE ZAMEEN PAR". Parents  were unwilling to accept that the child was dyslexic. We all had that student in our class who was dumb and got ridiculed both by teachers and classmates.

Pampering, over-protection and denial of a problem sets a difficult path for the child. While parent gives unconditional love to the child , I cannot say the same about the world outside the home. When we go outside our houses and face the real world, the slap of reality hits us. 

I have often seen parents arguing with teachers when something negative is told to them about their son/daughter, fighting with the principal when their child got less marks or did not win a prize in some competition.

As the child grows up, he/she finds it difficult to face certain realities. One may not get admission in the desired college or course, there is a heart break during teenage years and one may not always fit into a particular peer group. All this is part and parcel of life. But a child who is emotionally not strong will find it difficult to deal with such delicate situations.

In the later years of life it is about jobs, salaries, marriage and starting a family. And here I would like to ask one question? Are people prepared to undertake big responsibilities? The answer is no. By failing to address the shortcomings,  an incompetent individual is raised. Today we are seeing the manifestations of the same across India.

People are failing to get suitable employment in spite of being graduates, failing to keep their jobs, there is no passion in  the job as they are doing something they never wanted (they were pushed into it by their parents), marriages are breaking down resulting into divorces and separation. All across we are seeing people who are sad and depressed with their lives.

This does not mean that people are unsuccessful. There are many who are making it big out there and taking up responsibilities. There are people out there who can independently handle things.

Sometimes parents just need to tell the bitter truth to their children, sometimes constructive criticism helps, accepting that something is wrong with the child is much better that denial,taking help from counselor, psychologist or a psychiatrist should not be a taboo. Such steps lead to positive changes in the near future.

What I see is that parents trying to get jobs for their children, parents interfering in the married lives of their children for no reason. It is important to accept that after 21 a child is a fully grown adult and it is time he/she faces the real world and develop coping mechanism. Parents cannot be there all the time.

I hope this post brings some wisdom on parents.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.


BHAVEEN SHETH
INDIAN MGTOW

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

My Quora post on why I am still single-Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

For a long time I wanted to write an answer to this question but was hesitant. Finally I have picked up the strength to write. Please find my profile below:
Age: 36
Qualification: Dual Masters in Management
Designation: Manager-Human Resources in a reputed Organization
CTC: The best as per industry norms
Then why I am I still single? Because I am an adult orphan! Don;t have parents or any other family support (lost my parents at a young age). A self made man who has achieved everything on his own (not boasting about it). Unfortunately in our society a man , his character and image is defined by by his family background and not by his individuality.
Most of my late teens and 20’s have been spent on getting a decent education and building a career. I started looking out for marriage in my late 20’s but it never materialized. I have shared by own experiences on finding a suitable match on matrimonial websites. You can search my answer by going through my profile.
Society does not consider me as a marriage material as I am an adult orphan. With no family background, no one would consider me, certainly not the people who state they come form a decent, respectable and reputed families and are equally looking for guys belonging from a respectable family. The moment people realize that I have no family background, they back out. In my case to cut the long story short, due to family conflicts my extended family does not want to support me. I guess over the years we have become distant and drifted apart.
PRAGMATIC AND STOICAL ATTITUDE
At 19 when a major tragedy occurs in someones life, he/she has to mature overnight and take responsibilities.The same happened with me. Over the years I have developed an attitude towards life filled with pragmatic stoicism. Some people find my behavior to be negative, cynical and pessimistic which is not the case. There is nothing wrong is being positive but one can certainly not live in a Utopian world filled with fantasy. Unfortunately I come across a majority that is still living in the world of Bollywood films.
At 36, I myself don’t have any high expectations form a future partner. I just want a simple homely woman who can be by companion cum best friend. My demands are normal. I don’t expect any dowry or a lavish wedding ceremony, just a court marriage or marriage in a temple. Having a middle class mentality , I can provide a comfortable living to my spouse.
I am blunt and straight forward to the point when I state my expectations to potential interests. In a world filled with people who speak sweet and sugar coated lies, my blunt reality often sounds acerbic.
I refuse to compromise on certain things when it comes to marriage. I don’t prefer divorcees, single mothers and left over women (women whom no one wants to marry). Considering my own background some people have told me that I should have an open mind and broaden my options. Why? I am not a divorcee. I am not a single father. I am not a left over man. I don’t want to marry a woman who is desperate just because her biological clock is ticking or there is a peer/society pressure one her to get married.
Being an adult orphan, I am often taken for granted. There are some families who just want to dump their daughters/sisters on me and wash away their responsibilities. Yes there are such people and they exist on both sides (males and females). A woman post 30 not able to get married even after repeated efforts does bring frustrations on the family.
I often get referred to divorcees.Now I don’t have a problem with that but the cautious person within me makes me ask the female divorce and her parents that they show me the copy of the divorce decree from her first marriage. And then it is BINGO! They back out. Some find it offensive that I asked for a divorce decree. Now in times of false dowry and domestic violence cases filled by our empowered women, I tread a cautious path. And then most of the divorcees that I have met seem to be a depressed and dejected lot. Looks like they have still not come out of their divorce.
I chose not to marry a single mother no matter how good she may be. I have no interest in playing the role of a step father or being a financial support system cum ATM card for THE PROUD SINGLE MOTHER. Seems like these single moms only want a man with no children. They won’t marry a single father or a elder man. The last thing I want is to have a step child treat me like an unwanted piece of trash,
I strongly refuse to play by the rules of the girl and her parents. Some people think that they can mold/change me so that I live my life as my their terms and conditions and meet their expectations. I don’t entertain unwanted and unsolicited advice on how I should change my lifestyle just because it suits the requirement of the girl and her parents.
I don’t understand why I should relocate to the girl’s hometown. WHY? As per the Indian custom , it is the girl who should be relocating to the husband’s place and not vice versa. I am not aiming for a career oriented woman who wants to climb the corporate ladder or is in the IT industry hence finds it difficult to relocate. A woman doing a normal job can always find a new one a new place or she can chose not to work. Now if some parents are so concerned about their daughter’s safety (unwilling to relocate), then they should consider a man from their city itself.
At 36, I am a mature adult and prefer to speak to a woman above 30 in a one to one conversation. But that does not happen. In 90 percent of the cases, it is either the parents of siblings who converse with me.If after crossing 30 a woman is not confident to initiate a conversation what is the point? It seems that all these single independent confident women develop some sort of cold feet. Even if the daughter is 32–35 years old her parents will talk to you as if she was a 20 year old novice girl. Seriously!!!! C’mon dude! Accept the fact that your daughter is a grown up mature women and not a little girl anymore.
Being an independent self made man, I do expect an woman with an independent thinking mature enough to take her own life decisions and is street smart. This does not mean that one should be highly educated as I have come across such highly educated women who are jobless dumb retards.I am yet to come across a strong willed woman who has a humble feminine grace. Women often complain that they come across 30 plus Indian men who are immature, childish, pampered mamma’s boys but take it from me there are equally the same number of thirty plus women who still behave like teenagers living in a fantasy world, spoilt and pampered daddy’s princesses who cannot face the challenges of real life.
I don’t believe in hookups, affairs and one night stands. I am not a playboy or a Casanova. I don;t believe in chasing young girls. I can;t develop physical intimacy with woman unless I have a strong emotional connection with her.
At 36 I am still a virgin and not embarrassed about it. Some men advise me to visit a brothel or go to to Thailand for sex tourism. Indian brothels are filthy and there is a high chance of getting infected with STDs. I don’t believe in wasting my hard of money on such things.
I don’t own a property and am currently living on rent. Marriage alliances only wants a guy who has his own apartment. I fail to understand this logic. Living on rent is far more cheaper than buying a flat that adds a monthly burden of EMI’s. I intend to buy a flat when I decide to shift to a place when I feel I can spend the rest of my life, Living in a rented apartment is not a disgrace.
I have the personality of a sigma male. While I don’t have a dominating nature, I believe that in a relationship the man should have an upper hand.This does not mean that the woman should be subdued. Many important decisions can be taken through joint consensus. I don’t like being dominated or being taken for granted.I can’t be like today’s beta Indian husbands who suck up to their wives and play the role of a second fiddle/cum pet dog to their wives, they typical manginas.
So this is why I am single and believe me , I am not alone or lonely because for the last 12 years I have have the support of this woman (pic below)
She came in my life as a friend and has now become my sister, mentor, mother, parent and guardian angel. She has played a crucial role in my growth and development. She represents on my behalf as a family member and not only her, her husband , sister and parents collectively play the role of a family.
Sadly our narrow minded society does not understand or accept this.People fail to see that there is something beyond blood/family relations.Bonds of friendship are stronger than blood relations.People don’t understand the concept of foster families and I don’t need to explain myself.
Mind you, this is not a rant of frustration or a desperate cry to seek sympathy or validation from anyone.
And if there is any like minded person who wishes to associate with me, please feel free to message me.
Regards,
Bhaveen Sheth

Inspirational videos on living a meaningful single life: Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man and Indian MGTOW would like to share two inspiring videos that he come across on you tube. Hope you will like it:



I hope you would have found these vidoes inspiring.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH
INDIAN MGTOW

Expectationsof Girl's Parents on India Matrimonial Sites: Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man came across a quora post where a writer satirically wrote in the selfish and materialistic expectations that a girl's parents have from her marriage which is often seen on the matrimonial sites. Please find the post below:

This write up was share on Quora:

Expectation of Girl's parents on Indian Matrimony site

1. We have taught our daughter to be independent, she does not know how to cook, clean or shop. Basically she has no idea that there are other people in the world with their own lives and needs, so you must adjust.

2. Unless you earn 30 lakh, there is no way we can talk to you.

3. We have an educated daughter who earns 3 lakh per annum.

4. Our daughter is 4 feet tall, you must be having height of at least Khali, else the kids will look ridiculous.

5. Our daughter smokes all day and drinks all night, so you must not be a smoker or a drinker, she will need your liver and kidneys someday!

6. You need to have a flat and an imported car, else what status does my daughter have? Do you expect her to keep traveling in an auto, metro or local train like she is doing now even after marriage?

7. Our daughter has many extra curricular talents, she participated in a drawing competition and writes stories and poems and she is planning that she is going to be an entrepreneur some day. So you need to have a government job or in top MNC so that she can follow her passion

8. My daughter has 3250 friends on facebook, which means she will be a little busy.

9. No female friends. My daughter cannot handle all her male friends while stalking your female friends at the same time. Shaadi k baad apna facebook delete kar dena!(English Translation : After marriage please delete facebook account)

10. We will come visit you 30 times in a year, and will stay in your flat. Arrange leaves to take us to explore north india.

11. Cut off all your ties with your family. Unko abb tak jitne paise die ho, woh vi wapas le lo, ladki ko 2 AC chahiye apne room me(English Translation : What ever money given to your dad and mom please ask them to return and girl needs 2 AC in her bed room), and she cannot share her bed, after marriage she has slept all her life on a small bed with her two sisters, and you should provide her better if she marry you.

12. You can get some weird calls regarding her last 11 years in college in job. Don't believe those creepy guys. If they send any emails don't open them and delete them asap. No one wants to see other person happy. "Those all pictures are morphed" Just concentrate you are going to get married to a beautiful girl.

13. Please book tickets to Europe for honeymoon as she never been to even shimla all his life as we couldn't afford but after marriage you have to take her to a honeymoon on cruise and to Europe.

14. We will share the marriage function expense equally which will be held in our city. You can bring maximum 50 people. Ours will be 400 guests.

15. For your would be loving bride please buy only diamond jewellery. If you don't gift her expensive jewellery how she will be able to respect you.

16. We are very much against Dowry. Don't expect a single penny from us, as we are anti dowry activists.
This is the bitter reality of our time. Now tell me why should we not adopt the MGTOW philosophy.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.
BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW