DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male.
Such a Looser!!!! This is a comment on and off that I often happen to overhear in many women's conversations. They assign this term specifically to those males who are desperate after woman and would end up showing a dog like submission to impress a woman or in trying to get her approval.
OH DEAR!!!!!! How cheap. Its amazing to see the Indian Male who otherwise brags about his Masochism and who also happens to be the by product of Patriarchal Misogynist Society wagging his tail and frothing his mouth just like an Urban Street Dog.
Okay!!! Jokes apart. Lets come the meaning that I would like to convey though my blogpost.
I have already mentioned about being the desirable single male in in 30's and 40's. For those who have not read it, please go to the same on the following link.
India has its fair share of loser's. And you can't blame anyone for it.
The typical loser's are the ones who happen to be single, can't get a girlfriend, the vertically challenged, the aesthetically challenged and many more. The list is endless. In the population of over a billion people, there are a million attributes applicable to the typical Indian looser.
Of course a majority of them blessed with a happy life. Good Schooling, decent education, a well paying job and nice family. So there is nothing much to complain about.
But there is one problem!!!!! AHmmmmm and that is they (The Looser Indian Men) are not able to find a girl either as a girlfriend or as a wife.
Strange it may seem to a foreigner reading this blog post , the reality is that if you are not seen with a girl or you don't happen to get married at a certain age fixed by the so called protectors of the Indian Society, then you are labelled as a looser.
In India it is common to see a single woman living all by herself. She may be a Single Mom, a widow, a divorcee or just a high flying corporate woman who chose to be single rather than marry the average Indian loser male.
Indian society is very supportive to the Indian Male, no matter what he is or what his condition maybe, thy somehow try to get him married.
But things have not started to change. It is the men who are now rejected in a matrimonial proposal by the prospective woman or her parents.Suddenly being an IIM and IIT pass out is no longer a big achievement. And no longer are the Daactar Saahabs being considered as the suitable eligible boys. And no one is putting up a queue in front of the house of an NRI boy who happens to be a saaftwaire engeeneer in siillican vally in Amrica.
Women are not the only gender who get anxious when they cross the limit of the marriageable age. Men are also in the league. The problem is its only now that they have woken to an impending disaster that has struck them just like the Himalayan Tsunami that took place in Uttarakhand.
Hence what we see the the average desperate single Indian Man looking out for companionship and somehow wanting to get married.
Men mostly between the age of 25 to 35 dominate the lot of the looser Indian male. Desperation is marked on their face. Wherever they go and whichever woman they meet, they start looking at her from a prospective wife and not a colleague or a friend. Some looser guys even fantasize about a Kaamwaali who comes and does jaado pochs in their homes as his future soul mate. AUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
The buck does not just stop here, it even goes to his parents, his near kith and Kin (mostly it is the Kin than the Kith). Even they go around desperately hunting for a typical Indian bride fearing that their pyaara rasgoola laadla beta will be left all alone in this rat race of everyone getting married.
So for starters I would like to give some of my Gyaan to the Single Indian Looser Indian male.
I understand that you may question my credentials and that "Who am I to tell you all this Philosophy???" . But my dear friend, you go an pay huge amounts to those priests who assure to work some magic in your otherwise boring life, you pay big sums to matrimonial services, fortune tellers and god know whom to make the miracle of marriage work. So at least you can read this blog post for free.
Yes I am Single, yes I have excellent academic credentials , yes I have a very good and a stable job, yes i have a good bank balance. And please note that I am an Orphan, having lost both my parents at an early age, I am a homeless destitute, I have no near relatives who can vouch for me because many of them have chosen to leave me on my own. And yes i have done my fair share of crying and have emerged stronger and made a life for myself.
I hardly, if ever will stand any chance for marriage. In a society that identifies an individual from his family background, I happen to be a rejection for any decent Indian family. But tell you what, i don't care and i give a F%^&.
So let me share some words of wisdom with you my dear friend. I decided to stay single but unlike you desperate single loosers, i don't happen to brood on my so called pathetic condition.
So stop brooding man, just me a MAN and stand up for yourself, stop showing sympathy on your condition.
Focus on your career, do some good work, rise in your organization, there is no other satisfaction than being engaged in your work. And don't become a looser at your workplace dude. Stop staying in office after 5 pm, don't become the beast of burden of other peoples work. Get a life after 5 pm and do something more interesting after work.
Go and read and read some interesting books, something that you failed to do in you childhood other than play gully cricket. Reading will help you change many aspects and facets of you own personality and will transform you 180 degrees. Read self help books, go to a book store, browse books, you can even sit there and read some. Do your own search and you can also order books through flip kart and infibeam. Spend your time reading over a cup of coffee and see how beautiful life can be.
Stop making friendship with looser Indian males of your type, you will be surrounded by nothing but sadness and gloom.
If you happen to be the guy who thinks that by going to pubs, bars and discotheques you are going to find a girl, dream on, there are many loosers of your type venturing at such places. Plus everywhere there is a common rule , STAGS are not allowed. And please don't get some smooth talking bar tender to help you enter the venue, after all she is going to dupe you of your hard earned money. And what is the point of just sitting at a bar, nursing a drink and brooding on your condition, while others are having fun dancing with girls.
Please pick up some hobby , anything that can keep you engaged and bring your creative side outside. It can be anything, learn to cook, get into content writing, paint,learn music, theater and a lot more. The list is endless, cho0se a hobby you like and pursue it.
Identify some places in India and travel, this one thing will change a lot about how and what you think, you will realize that there is more to life than just getting married and having kids.
Start maintaining distance from pestering relatives, such people are the worst kind in putting your morale down.Just stay away from them, if possible skip important social and marriage functions. Instead go and attend wedding of your friends and office colleagues. Chances are you may find someone interesting.
Start initiating conversations with women without any expectations, it can just be casual ones. You will strengthen your conversational skills and improve your comfort level while talking to the fairer sex. But please and please don't look upon every woman you meet as your next would be wife.
Go to cinemas and theaters, watch award winning movies and plays. Forge bonds with people, you will meet men and women who are highly cerebral.
Explore the city you live in. Search google for the places you can visit ,grab your 2 or 4 wheeler and start visiting the same. And if you happen to love food, try out some interesting food hangouts. You will learn the joys of eating alone and get adjusted to the same.
Play a sport , hit the gym, prepare for a marathon and you will be amazed to see the changes within you. When you exercise, endorphins are released in great amount. It will make you happy and you will forget your worries. It is the best medicine for depression.
Please change your criteria of finding a soul mate. One of the reasons why you are not getting married is that you or maybe your parents want someone from the same caste, community, religion, gotra or linguistic background. Plus the woman should be a pure unadulterated virgin. Strange but this mentality still exists. What is the problem with a woman who does not belong to your background or who happens to be a widow or divorcee. Just get broad minded and find someone whom you feel you will happy with and not someone who meets the specifications set by your society.
And lastly just don't get sad, desperate and dejected if you don't get married. Wait for the right time, things will happen. You will find someone and get settled. Till then just enjoy your bachelorhood by doing the above activities that I have mentioned.
Atleast you will stop being a bloody Looser!!!!!!
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back bit a lot more.
Bhaveen Sheth
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