Bhaveen Sheth the writer of this blog talks on the freedom of Indian men in the last 70 years since India's independence. This essay discusses the reality of Indian men in today's feminised society where men are increasingly being vilified and branded as evil creatures.
On 15th of August last month India celebrated its 70th year of Independence. Seventy years ago India had its tryst with destiny where at midnight the Union Jack was replaced by the Indian tricolour. In the last seventy years many events have marked the timeline of this nation:India has achieved many important milestones.
Seventy years ago we became free, free from foreign rule, free from slavery, free from exploitation and oppression and free from the shackles of bondage.But in spite of all this, I would like to ask whether the Indian man is truly free? Is he able to celebrate independence in its true spirit? Does he get to taste the fruits of independence? Has he been able to reap the harvest of India becoming independent?I doubt if that really happened or will really happen in the near future. The Indian man in still under the shackles of bondage, slavery and oppression. The only difference is that after the Britishers left, the Indian man got new oppressors in the form of the Indian society and feminists. In the points mentioned below I mention how the Indian man is still enslaved by the society in spite of being a citizen of a free and independent country.
1. Slavery in the form of insurmountable expectations
A friend has mentioned to me a long while ago that in India when an male child is born , he is automatically labelled as Ram or Shravan. He is the torch bearer of the family name and is expected to carry the family legacy ahead. He is to shoulder the family's burden, he is to take care of his parents, educate his younger siblings, get his sisters married, get himself married and have children.The Indian man is expected to pursue conventional vocations like medicine, engineering, MBA, law or civil services. He is expected to take up a government job that ensures job security or a well paying job in an MNC. Where is the freedom?Where is the independence? Indian men have to live up to the expectations of others that have been created on pure fantasy. Can an Indian man live a life of liberty when he is bound by the shackles of expectations? Even now a majority of Indian men are living the life of a slave in order to meet some useless expectation.
2. A catalyst to fulfil the unfulfilled dreams of parents.
Indian parents always want to relive their lives through their children. They want their descendent to all those things that they could not do in their lives.Everything right from schooling, college, career choices, achievements and accomplishments are decided by parents, more so for the male gender.Indian men are not given any choice. Childhood and teenage years are pre-programmed by parents. Successful and accomplished Indian men are flaunted as prized trophies by parents in front of others. A boy is forced to pursue medicine or engineering because his father could not do the same.Even hobbies and activities are decided by parents just because they could not pursue the same in their childhood. So here again I ask,: Where is the liberty?
3. No freedom to love the women of his choice.
In the last 70 years many things have changed in India. Our society has become modern and more accepting, mostly on the superficial front. At core level it remains deeply traditional and conservative. Even today Indian men don't find true love. And if they find it in a woman, norms dictated by the society does not allow things to continue ahead. In my previous points I have mentioned how the burden of expectations does not allow men to go out and find love. add that to a strenuous college life and an over demanding job in the later years of life. The Indian men are living a loveless life. Indian men have been conditioned to believe that they can only find love after achieving success but that is not the case. Even today going out with a girl is a taboo in many parts of India. Marriages are mostly arranged.There are many instances where men end up in a loveless marriage.So here I ask, do Indian men have the freedom to fin true love?
4.India is no country for sexual experimentation.
Sex is a basic need, admit it, irrespective of gender this carnale desire forms the base of Maslow's pyramid. But in India we practice double standards and hypocrisy at a magnanimous level. We have a rich cultural history in carnal practices and yet fornicating with with someone is considered to be a sinful crime. Indian society never allows sexual experimentation, having sex with an underage girl (below 18) is tantamount to rape. If gender segregation was a primary barrier to debar sex then caste , creed and religion are secondary fortifications. With a price tag of purity attached to virginity of women, pre-marital sex is not easy. In college while 5% boys get lucky , 95 % don't. Many boys end up becoming friend zoned or at worse Bhai zoned.Workplace is no easy place for coupling as it is all about a match for equals.Arrogant, conceited and haughty Indian women make it extremely difficult for men to approach them. Asking a woman for a coffee is equivalent to outraging her modesty. And the women complain why the men don't make the first move? Arranged marriage is the only sure shot way to guarantee Indian men unlimited sex. But that too comes with its own terms and conditions. The wife holds the vantage point and keeps the man on a tight leash with giving and denying sex.This goes on. Pregnancy plays a havoc on the psyche of the woman.Motherhood makes her loose interest in sex.And soon we are going to have laws on marital rape that will criminalise sex within marriage. So much for seventy years of Independence.
Prostitution has not been legalised, dubious escort agencies work as extorting rackets, getting a room in a hotel for a couple of hours to copulate arouses suspicions, extra marital sex is a crime, having normal sexual desires automatically gets a man labelled as a pervert.If a single man brings a woman to his house, he is considered a threat to the social moral fabric of the society.Going on sex tourism to countries like Thailand or Uzbekistan will get you labelled as a sexual lunatic.It is strange that we respect the white men (our former masters)when we see them fulfilling their sexual desires and detest our own Indian fellow men for doing so.In terms of sexual freedom we are highly repressed by a dictatorial and autocratic society and a pathetic archaic judicial system. So much for sexual freedom.
5. Monkeys dancing to the tunes of their wives.
We may have evolved from monkeys but Indian men still retain many characteristics of monkeys especially the street side monkeys who have a leash tied around to their necks and are made to perform as per the wishes of their masters.You know, the madaari and jamura.. Marriage is some way turns an Indian man into a slave, don't know why. It can be the sex , the beauty, the flesh, the charm and of course the need for validation.Post marriage many Indian men find their self confidence and self esteem take a big hit, subservience and servileness becomes a part of their normal behaviour.Men become slaves and will do anything to see a smile of the face of their wives.
6. Bonded labourers to Equated Monthly Instalments (EMI's) and home loans.
Post India's economic liberalisation in the year 1991, debt found a new corporate name: EMI and home loans.The ubiquitous albatross that is found hanging in the necks of hundreds and thousands of Indian men. Marriage has forced men to adopt a lifestyle beyond their means and capacity. House, cars, electronic accessories, mobile phones and many other things are paid through EMI's and home loans.The man becomes a lifetime slave.He does a job he does not like, works for an organisation that has a toxic work culture, professional development takes a hit, his personal interest, dreams and desires take a back seat. Children's school and college fee brings an additional burden. The wife neither contributes nor helps.She had a well paying job before marriage but is now a full time home maker. She states her feminine philosophy that a man should take care of his wife.I wonder why do such women even get educated and waste their father's hard earned money.The man ends up living the life of a slave until retirement and wonders what kind of life is he living?This is the new kind of slavery that is growing day after day and our leaders say that we are free from oppression.
7.Draconian anti-male laws within the judicial system.
The British used draconian laws during the colonial era and imprisoned thousands of freedom fighters. After the British left normal life resumed.But three decades later somewhere in 1980's a new dowry prohibition law came into effect. The law that was pushed forward by India's feminazis. This law became one of the most misused and abused laws within the judicial system of this nation.More that thousands are arrested under this law for no reason, 98 % cases turn out to be fake.Over the years we have seen many such draconian laws come into effect, the domestic violence act, the amendment of the Hindu marriage act and now a law on marital rape is in the anvil.There are more that 15 anti-male laws within our judicial system.Many Indian women get a huge satisfaction in dragging their husbands and in-laws to courts.It seems that getting married itself is a big crime.Thousands of men have been falsely accused and are fighting in courts to prove their innocence.
Forget marriage, even having sex with a woman is dangerous, atl east in India.Many women have filled rape charges against their boyfriends/live in partners stating that they were cheated on the false pretext of marriage.When did casual sex turn into a marriage proposal? If these women are so particular about their virginity, they should not indulge in casual sex. And yes, I forgot to mention the amendments that took place in 2013 after the famous Nirbhaya incident.A man charged under the existing rape laws faces life imprisonment.Even workplaces have become dangerous minefields.The new laws addressing sexual harassment at workplace are equally draconian and female biased.There is no support for men in case if they are victims. Alimony laws mandate that a husband should pay hefty alimony after separation, half of his property is to go to his wife after separation. And this is not the end , there are many such draconian laws that will be implemented in the near future.
8. Prejudice and hatred towards single Indian men.
Sensible Indian men have started living single, some out of choice, some out of compulsion and some of because of their own destiny.But even these men are not spared from the prejudice of the Indian society.We (the single Indian men) have become the new outcasts or scheduled castes. We are the new dalits of the modern Indian society:hated, detested, secluded and segregated, this is how the married Indian folks treat us.In their eyes we have violated the norms of the society by staying single.Not a day will go by when a single Indian man is critically reminded about his single status.Single Indian men are discriminated on many fronts:they don't get a house on rent, a table at a fancy restaurant, buying a property is equally cumbersome, no one invites them to any social functions, gatherings or events. Life is definitely not easy for single men in India,
I come back to my primary question. On the 70th anniversary of India's independence , is the Indian man really free?I guess not! The only thing is that our masters have changed. Before independence we had British rulers and now we have femnisists, feminzais and an autocratic Indian society.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will be back with a lot more.
BHAVEEN SHETH
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