In India, a marriage is not just a union of two individuals but two families. If you marry an individual, you marry into his/her family. And not all families are good. We may like a person but what happens when the family is dysfunctional? Unlike the West, Indian women are still not capable of taking important decision especially when it comes to marriage. Please spare me this empowerment theory, it is just a sham.
Even those women who are above 35 will get their families involved into the marriage. In this case it is important to judge the family and identify for signs of dysfunction. Believe me, a toxic dysfunctional family can destroy your life.
Having spoken to many men who are now divorced and separated, I noticed one trend: The women's families played a crucial role in destroying the marriage. This is why this point is important.
It is not easy to identify a dysfunctional family during the first meeting. We Indians are extremely hospitable and warm during potential matrimonial meets. The truth is always hidden and masked with lies and fake smiles. After all , everyone want to get his son/daughter to get married to a NICE person.
Following are a few points to be considered:
Unstable Parents
Bad Financial condition/ Pending bank loans/ borrowed debts
Single Parents (Especially when the father is not there/ Mothers who have divorced during their younger years)
Divorced Siblings
Disharmony within the family
Addiction problem of any family member
Rigid Family
Greedy (Wants the prospective groom to help the entire family)
Families afflicted with Physical and Mental Problems
Families who have been arrested in the past and have court cases pending against them
These are just a few points and may points can be added. It is important for all Indian men to get a thorough family background verification done through a detective agency.
Normal and cheerful families are more practical and forthcoming, they work on strengthening bonds and not breaking them. I have read numerous cases where the husband committed suicide and had clearly blamed the in-laws for physical and mental torture in the suicide note.
In my previous blog, I had written on how vengeful the girl's parents and siblings become when the marriage goes sour. Such families are self destructive and are not bothered about consequences arising out of a marital breakup.
Once again I would like to warn all single Indian men wanting to get married, please have a proper family background verification done. It won't cost you much. Better safe than sorry.
Bhaveen Sheth
INDIAN MGTOW
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