A lot of Indian men are not fit for marriage: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

I have come to realize that a lot of Indian men are not fit for marriage or capable to handle a married life that comes with family responsibilities.

Over the last three years I have been observing a trend on Linkedin where many men are writing distress messages. Most of the messages are like this:

"I have some xyz many years of experience. I am desperately looking for a job since last six months, 1 year. I don't have money to pay for my groceries, I can't pay money for my children's school fees. I have home loans and car loans to pay. I am extremely distressed. Please help me.

Being in Human Resources, I can understand what happens to men who don't have jobs, especially those who are married and have children. No one should ever be put in such a difficult situation.

But then I rationalize and have a reality check just to realize that many men are just mediocre in their fields/specializations. They have never up skilled or upgraded themselves. They never realized the changing dynamics of the job market, they did not introspect their shortcomings. Taking their jobs for granted, they tried to fulfill their dreams on credit and loans without realizing that one day their world would come crashing.

Today just having a job and earning a salary is not enough. Today the requirements are not just Roti, Kapda and Makaan but it is quality, style, brand and status. You are required to have that 2 BHK Flat, a mid segment car, children who will be sent to good schools, tutions, online tutorial programs, weekend dine outs, annual vacations, lavish social functions. And mind you this is the upper middle class that I am talking about.Most of the distress messages on Linkedin are from people who are upper middle class.

Yes , we are facing recessions and inflation, yes,  we had two bad years of the COVID-Pandemic, yes, there were job cuts, pink slips served and what not. But still, there is a saying "Survival of the Fittest". The competent survive and thrive , the incompetent and mediocre perish.

In India, when a man gets a job and starts earning a decent salary, the family members start looking out for a bride. The man does not protest as he is deluded by the prospect of marriage and that wonderful beautiful wife. I wish these men had just waited for some years in understanding themselves, their skills, the job market and its requirements. A single man always has a chance to change specializations, switch organizations and migrate to different cities. He has the freedom to take decisions which a married man cannot. In many ways marriage does bring in mediocrity and complacency in life of men.

When I see distressed married Indian men who are jobless, I realize that a huge percentage of Indian men are not fit for marriage and if you are a single Indian man reading this post, let me tell you that marriage will soon become a luxury that only the rich can afford.(I will be writing a post on this). If you truly want a content, quality and happy life, then remain single and be happy.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDINA MGTOW

Even after crossing 35, they still want their parents and siblings to talk: Bhaveen Sheth INDIAN MGTOW

Life can be amusing and you tend to laugh at the weird experiences you have with some people. My profile on shaadi.com is still there and at times I do receive some odd interest. Astonishing thing is that women above 35 want their parents and siblings (brothers or married sisters) to talk to me.

We are in the third decade of the 21st century where one gets to see great strides in women's empowerment and still you have 35 plus single Indian women who can't even initiate a decent consversation. So where did all the empowerement go.

In my opinion, after crossing the age of 30, a person is very much an adult who can take decisions independently. Unfortunately many single Indian women  post 30 are extremely shy or reserved. I guess they have still not developed the confidence of being assertive. 

Many of these women have great expectations of getting married, having that dream partner and the heavenly wedding. I guess social media and internet has made people live in a fantasy world, very much cut off from reality. But then , here you have the same women who can't even have a meaningful conversation. 

There have been times when a senior citizen has spoken to me or a sibling has initiated a talk. I just could not connect with them. It was acceptable if I were in my 20's and parents were doing all the talking but highly unacceptable in 30s and 40s.

Another observation made by me is that many of these single women who call themselves  independent, so called travellers and what not are actually not independent. Majority of them are still living with their parents. Some even have a brother who is married, has a wife and children living in the same home. In terms of age they might be older but if it comes to maturity they are equivalent to women in their 20s.

At times I don't understand why they are still single even in their late 30s especially in a country where the gender ratio is skewed. But let us put that debate aside for some other time. My question is "Why do these women disagree to talk or meet a man if they are so interested in getting married"? Is it lack of confidence? Are they scared? Is it something to do with self esteem? I don't know?

Having travelled and met so many people across this country, I have learnt one important lesson:Every human being is a book telling you a story. There are so many things you can learn from meeting a new person, have an intellectual and meanigful conversation. Not all meetings turn into long term realtionships or marriage alliances, but remember this, you get an experience and gain confidence.

Just thought about documenting what I felt. 

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

The COVID WIDOW scam on the online Matrimonial Sites: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

The COVID pandemic will be seen as one of the greatest tragedies of the 21st Century. Two years on and India is still reeling from the after effects of this pandemic. Our economy is in shambles, business is bad, Inflation is all time high, jobs are not easy to come by and things are getting difficult day by day.

Still we the people of India will go on doing what we were doing best, Marriage. Even during this Covid Pandemic, people did not stop from getting married.

With all kinds of scams that emerged during the pandemic, a new one is gradually being observed. i.e the case of fake widows on the online matrimonial sites.

The pandemic has become an excuse for many divorced, separated women and single mothers to claim themselves to be widows and marry a naive person. I spoke to two men who  got trapped in this kind of marriage. The first one was looking for an understanding life partner, he was clear that he would not marry a divorcee considering how today's women are using the gender biased laws against their in-laws and husbands. He came across a profile stating that the woman was a widow having lost her husband in the pandemic. Interest was expressed, numbers were exchanged and conversations took place. This man even visited the woman's city and spoke to her at a coffee shop and later took her for dinner at a restaurant. He was convinced that finally he had found his life partner and wanted to marry her. He went back, spoke to his parents, while the parents initially expressed skepticism, later they agreed for the marriage. The marriage took place, everything went well. A month later a major catastrophe struck, he came across his wive's documents where it was stated that she was a divorcee and later he also came across a divorcee decree wherein his wife had claimed alimony and had filled 498a and DV against her husband. While his wife was divorced, she had got a huge alimony as a settlement. This man was devastated and went into depression.He confronted his wife only to see a different side of the woman he had truly loved. She laughed at him and threatened him that were he to leave her or tell this to anyone, she would file false cases against the husband and his parents. The man backed off and accepted his fate. He feels to have been badly cheated.

The second case is just like the one above, the only difference is that the man was a never married bachelor in his mid 40s looking for a life partner. He too got conned by this so called single mother widow who again had lost her husband in the pandemic and was looking for a supportive life partner. In reality this woman was divorced, her husband was very much alive and she was shamelessly claiming child support. Her first husband was not even aware that she was got married for the second time.

In both these cases the husbands were alive. With rising awareness among the Indian men and their families, never married men are refraining from getting married to divorcees considering the fact  many women have used the legal system to their advantage. No decent man or his family wants to be accused of false dowry cases, domestic violence and be arrested. Hence the hesitancy. People will always prefer a widow.

So some cunning, calculating women and their parents convincingly take up the widow status and the Covid pandemic is a wonderful excuse as it claimed the lives of both old and young ones. And here you have a bechari young widow who lost her husband, you have an abhla single mother widow who is looking for a supportive husband who will also accept her child.

My dear single Indian men, please beware of this scam. Don't be desperate to get married. It is better to be single than be sorry. If you come across such profiles where interests are expressed, please do your background verification. Hire a private detective, scout her history, as for the death certificate of her husband, verify it with the mortuary, ask for her past family photographs, ask for the husbands medical records, the respective state governments are also giving some kind of covid benefits to the families of the deceased, please ask for this kind of certificate. all hospitals are issuing it.

Do a thorough investigation, today narratives can easily be changed and a calculating thug can easily play the role of the victim. Understand that you should not be conned. Both of these men fell into the trap because they were lured by the beauty of the women.

I have my sympathy for all those women who genuinely lost their husbands during the pandemic, in many cases the husbands were the sole earners/bread winners and now the responsibility of taking care of the family has fallen upon the widowed wives. May god give all these women the strength and courage to carry on with this challenging journey ahead.

What I dislike is how the widow status is being misused in order to trap naive innocent men into marriage. This brings a bad name to the women who have actually been widowed. Even they would want to find a decent life partner and give their life a new start, unfortunately with all these kinds of scams they too have come under scrutiny.

At the end of this post I want to clearly warn all the single Indian men; please be careful, keep an open mind, just because you hear someones sad plight does not mean you have to take it on face value. Never take a major life changing decision in desperation, always give it time. Be aware, be careful and be safe.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW.

Don't get married into a dysfunctional family: Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

In India, a marriage is not just  a union of two individuals but two families. If you marry an individual, you marry into his/her family.  And not all families are good. We may like a person but what happens when the family is dysfunctional? Unlike the West, Indian women are still not capable of taking important decision especially when it comes to marriage. Please spare me this empowerment theory, it is just a sham. 

Even those women who are above 35 will get their families  involved into the marriage. In this case it is important to judge the family and identify for signs of dysfunction. Believe me, a toxic dysfunctional family can destroy your life.

Having spoken to many men who are now divorced and separated, I noticed one trend: The women's families played a crucial role in destroying the marriage. This is why this point is important.

It is not easy to identify a dysfunctional family during the first meeting. We Indians are  extremely hospitable and warm during potential matrimonial meets. The truth is always hidden and masked with lies and fake smiles. After all , everyone want to get his son/daughter to get married to a NICE person.

Following are a few points to be considered:

Unstable Parents

Bad Financial condition/ Pending bank loans/ borrowed debts

Single Parents (Especially when the father is not there/ Mothers who have divorced during their younger years)

Divorced Siblings

Disharmony within the family

Addiction problem of any family member

Rigid Family

Greedy (Wants the prospective groom to help the entire family)

Families afflicted with Physical and Mental Problems

Families who have been arrested in the past and have court cases pending against them

These are just a few points and may points can be added. It is important for all Indian men to get a thorough family background verification done through a detective agency.

Normal and cheerful families are more practical and forthcoming, they work on strengthening bonds and not breaking them. I have read numerous cases where the husband committed suicide and had clearly blamed the in-laws for physical and mental torture in the suicide note. 

In my previous blog, I had written on how vengeful the girl's parents and siblings become when the marriage goes sour. Such families are self destructive and are not bothered about consequences arising out of a marital breakup.

Once again I would like to warn all single Indian men wanting to get married, please have a proper family background verification done. It won't cost you much. Better safe than sorry.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW