Who says that only women are forced into marriages? Indian men face the same problem, It is just that they don't make a hue and cry over it.
Countless lives of Indian men have been destroyed by wrong and toxic marriages. Men have suffered emotional breakdown to the extent that some of them committed suicide. Many lost professional opportunities and others just became nervous wrecks. In my interactions with many male rights activists who had gone through difficult marriages and are now divorced or separated, I realized that in most of the cases the parents wanted their sons to marry, even after a terrible divorce the parents once again want their sons to get remarried.
Guess some people never learn their lessons.
The mentality of Indian parents is different. They treat their sons like some kind of personal property or a golden goose that needs to be cashed upon when time is right. Indian men struggle hard sacrificing their teen years and burning the midnight oil in order to get good grades followed by admission in good colleges and later campus placements or a job in a good organization. Some even end up getting a good salary package. Just a year in the job and the parents are after the son to get him married. Most of the parents are proud of their sons achievements, nothing wrong with that, however they problem starts when it becomes a part of their ego. The son has not even settled well into his work and the talk of marriage starts. Biodatas, horroscopes and photographs are exchanged and the ground work for matrimony starts. This is followed by visits to the prospective brides house and gradually the meetings take place.
There are times when I feel that the parents are in a hurry to get their sons married. I fail to understand why? This is especially in the case where the sons are highly successful, you know, the IAS-IPS-Government Services-IIT-IIM-Engineering-MBA-B-SchoolPassouts-Doctors-Computer Specialists, all earning good salary packages along with perks and benefits. These folks are looked upon as winners or super successful people.
Of course the marriage takes place and the bride is a good looking beautiful dame that even the husband's best friend would get jealous of. The engagement and marriage takes place followed by a mind blowing honeymoon. Then a different life starts and it is called a married life and this is where the reality sets in. I don't know what goes wrong but the marriages comes to an abrupt end. This is followed by divorce in courts and visits to the police stations where false allegations are filed by the bride and her parents. Many men can't take it and they end up committing suicide. Go to any of the websites or blogs dedicated to Indian men's rights and read the stories where the husbands committed suicide. You will observe a similarity: The men were well educated successful professionals.
This write up in not about why successful men commit suicide or why does an arranged marriage fixed by two families end up into a disaster. This is about the parents of the men who somehow force their sons into such marriages just because they want to fulfill their dreams and expectations, just because they want to show others about the fanfare related to the marriage ceremony or in many cases ask for a huge dowry, mind you, this is not in all the cases but yes money does exchange hands in such kind of marriages. Problem is that most of the Indian parents want to live their lives through their children. This makes them extremely dominant and controlling. They don't want to give a free hand to their sons so that they can take their own independent decision.
Have you ever met the parents of such super successful men? The false pride and ego they carry can offend anyone. They leave no stone unturned in putting down those who are not as successful as their sons. They get delusional that their sons are special and above the rest. It is this thinking that leads them on the path of destruction. Just because their son is successful, they are entitled to a privileged treatment and expect the best. They feel that their son deserves the most beautiful girl available who is also educated and will play the role of a typical housewife and daughter in law. In order to cash in on the success of their son, they even expect a hug dowry or a royal wedding just to show off in front of their friends and relatives.
Unfortunately they are not prepared to see the destruction when the marriage goes sour. Rarely are such marriages resolved amicable. Huge alimony is paid to settle the divorce, not to forget countless visits to police stations and courts. The son ends up becoming the victim of his parents decision taken due to ego, greed and false pride.
I wish these parents were more in touch with reality, I wish these parents could make a visit to the family courts in their cities and towns to have first hand experience on what divorce proceedings look like, I wish these parents read newspapers and magazines in order to realize the problems faced by the modern Indian men. I just wish that these parents stop watching those daily television soaps that portray some ideal wife or daughter in law which is certainly not the reality. I wish they stop thinking that bad things won't happen to us, i wish they stop living in a fantasy Utopian world. I wish they understand the reality.
It is the son who ends up paying a huge price for his parent's wrong decision, sometimes at the cost of his own life. All I can say is that parents should given their son's more time so that they can explore what is right for them, let them travel, meet other people, explore the world or even India. This matter a lot. Experiences shape your personality and you realize what you want. You become more confident and less insecure.
This post may not be relevant to veteran MGTOWs. However all other single Indian men who are reading this post, it is my sincere request that you focus on your work and career. Meet new people, travel across India and have a diverse experience. Don' t fall into the emotional blackmail of your parents to get married. Marriages created in the basis of materialism, property ownership, CTC, salary, designation, offshore postings don't last for long. What matters is how you get along with a person emotionally and how much you relate with each other.
Take your desicion wisely.
Bhaveen Sheth
INDIAN MGTOW
