Whatsapp Group of my UG Batchmates-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

This COVID-19 Pandemic has made many people slow down  their otherwise hectic lives. The lock down imposed in many countries has forced people to sit in their homes and look into their lives. This is a time where people have thought of catching up with old friends, school and college classmates.

Hence an idea came in the minds of one of my UG batch mates to create a group of all college mates for the year 2000 or what I would call the millennium batch. Initially I was reluctant to share my number but later agreed. I was also added to the group. Half of my batch mates are abroad and the rest are in India. Somethings never change and so do some people. In spite of Facebook and Linkedin being available, we have lost touch with each other. We are friends on Facebook but still don't talk to each other. We wish each other a happy birthday or occasionally like a post shared by someone on Facebook. Guess we are too busy in our lives now.

Coming back to the topic, I may have been added to the group but I choose to remain silent. I don't want to have any conversation on the forum. My college mates have remained the same. In the past during my travels in India when I met some of them,  they have had nothing but criticism for me. Why? Well, because I changed my career path and I am still single, unmarried and don't have any children. During college times I used to have this NORTH INDIAN group that stuck together and was judgmental about others. They just gossiped all the time. I being myself used to live a solo life and enjoyed my own company. This meant eating alone, watching movies alone and spending time reading good books and magazines. I was not liked just because I was not a part of their group. 

The situation has not changed. They still remain judgmental and I don't care. Some of them want show off on the strides they have made and how much they have gone ahead in life. I guess we all have our own journey and paths to lead and they cannot be compared. I am happy with my life.

I am living the MGTOW life and have the independence and mental peace that my married batch mates may or may not have. In my 30's, I am travelling, doing solo backpacking across India, have started by baby steps as a biker. I am also planning to take up body sculpting and long distance running to build up strength and stamina. 

These people may call me a a loner like they always did but I call it freedom. I chose quality of life over quantity. My bucket list is different from others and I don't want to compare.

In post COVID times, I have decided to socially distance myself of negative and toxic people and choose not to interact with them anymore.

The group will be active for a few days, maybe a month or two. The moment normal life resumes, people will stop interacting aand this group will become inactive and dormant like rest of the groups that are on our whatspp application. 

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

When Parents destroy theirs sons lives in the name of marriage-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Who says that only women are forced into marriages? Indian men face the same problem, It is just that they don't make a hue and cry over it.

Countless lives of Indian men have been destroyed by wrong and toxic marriages. Men have suffered emotional breakdown to the extent that some of them  committed suicide. Many lost professional opportunities and others just became nervous wrecks. In my interactions with many male rights activists who had gone through difficult marriages and are now divorced or separated, I realized that in most of the cases the parents wanted their sons to marry, even after a terrible divorce the parents once again want their sons to get remarried.

Guess some people never learn their lessons.

The mentality of Indian parents is different. They treat their sons like some kind of personal property or a golden goose that needs to be cashed upon when time is right. Indian men struggle hard sacrificing their teen years and burning the midnight oil in order to get good grades followed by admission in good colleges and later campus placements or a job in a good organization. Some even end up getting a good salary package. Just a year in the job and the parents are after the son to get him married. Most of the parents are proud of their sons achievements, nothing wrong with that, however they problem starts when it becomes a part of their ego. The son has not even settled well into his work and the talk of marriage starts. Biodatas, horroscopes and photographs are exchanged and the ground work for matrimony starts. This is followed by visits to the prospective brides house and gradually the meetings take place.

There are times when I feel that the parents are in a hurry to get their sons married. I fail to understand why? This is especially in the case where the sons are highly successful, you know, the IAS-IPS-Government Services-IIT-IIM-Engineering-MBA-B-SchoolPassouts-Doctors-Computer Specialists, all earning good salary packages along with perks and benefits. These folks are looked upon as winners or super successful people.

Of course the marriage takes place and the bride is a good looking beautiful dame that even the husband's best friend would get jealous of. The engagement and marriage takes place followed by a mind blowing honeymoon. Then a different life starts and it is called a married life and this is where the reality sets in. I don't know what goes wrong but the marriages comes to an abrupt end. This is followed by divorce in courts and visits to the police stations where false allegations are filed by the bride and her parents. Many men can't take it and they end up committing suicide. Go to any of the websites or blogs dedicated to Indian men's rights and read the stories where the husbands committed suicide. You will observe a similarity: The men were well educated successful professionals.

This write up in not about why successful men commit suicide or why does an arranged marriage fixed by two families end up into a disaster. This is about the parents of the men who somehow force their sons into such marriages just because they want to fulfill their dreams and expectations, just because they want to show others about the fanfare related to the marriage ceremony or in many cases ask for a huge dowry, mind you, this is not in all the cases but yes money does exchange hands in such kind of marriages. Problem is that most of the Indian parents want to live their lives through their children. This makes them extremely dominant and controlling. They don't want to give a free hand to their sons so that they can take their own independent decision.

Have you ever met the parents of such super successful men? The false pride and ego they carry can offend anyone. They leave no stone unturned in putting down those who are not as successful as their sons. They get delusional that their sons are special and above the rest. It is this thinking that leads them on the path of destruction. Just because their son is successful, they are entitled to a privileged treatment and expect the best. They feel that their son deserves the most beautiful girl available who is also educated and will play the role of a typical housewife and daughter in law. In order to cash in on the success of their son, they even expect a hug dowry or a royal wedding just to show off in front of their friends and relatives.

Unfortunately they are not prepared to see the destruction when the marriage goes sour. Rarely are such marriages resolved amicable. Huge alimony is paid to settle the divorce, not to forget countless visits to police stations and courts. The son ends up becoming the victim of his parents decision taken due to ego, greed and false pride.

I wish these parents were more in touch with reality, I wish these parents could make a visit to the family courts in their cities and towns to have first hand experience on what divorce proceedings look like, I wish these parents read newspapers and magazines in order to realize the problems faced by the modern Indian men. I just wish that these parents stop watching those daily television soaps that portray some ideal wife or daughter in law which is certainly not the reality. I wish they stop thinking that bad things won't happen to us, i wish they stop living in a fantasy Utopian world. I wish they understand the reality.

It is the son who ends up paying a huge price for his parent's wrong decision, sometimes at the cost of his own life. All I can say is that parents should given their son's more time so that they can explore what is right for them, let them travel, meet other people, explore the world or even India. This matter a lot. Experiences shape your personality and you realize what you want. You become more confident and less insecure.

This post may not be relevant to veteran MGTOWs. However all other single Indian men who are reading this post, it is my sincere request that you focus on your work and career. Meet new people, travel across India and have a diverse experience. Don' t fall into the emotional blackmail of your parents to get married. Marriages created in the basis of materialism, property ownership, CTC, salary, designation, offshore postings don't last for long. What matters is how you get along with a person emotionally and how much you relate with each other.

Take your desicion wisely.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

Indian society is equally intolerant of free spirited single Indian men-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

Sometime back , I read an article which spoke on an extreme level of intolerance of the Indian society towards free spirited single Indian women.However it failed to mention on an equal level or even more intolerance directed towards free spirited single Indian men.

Our society has never accepted the so called single status of people and has always detested people who have chosen to live a single life.While single Indian women are detested for not getting married and giving birth to a child, single Indian men are hated for not getting married, settling down and living a decent family life. Single Indian men are often accused of being vagabounds.

Indian society is made up of various likes and dislikes, at times it contradicts its very own structure,foundation and values.

Tolerance towards single Indian men especially those who are free spirited and live a happy life is extremely limited. In India, you won't find men who are single, somehow they get married, those who are not married are in the process of being hitched. I can't vouch the same for the single Indian women. Men who stay single out of their own choice face  lots of criticism and taunts.The society blacklists and debars them.Limited people will associate with them, their very existence is a source of criticism.

Single free spirited men are seen as a threat to the normal order of the Indian society.Since childhood we have been indoctrinated into following the routine protocol of life, you know, getting a good education, getting a job, getting married, settling down and having children.So what happens when some Indian men stay single out of their own choice and challenge this society order?They are certainly bound to become a source of envy and hatred.

It takes a lot of strength, courage and resilience for  Indian men to remain single.The decision to stay single is itself a difficult one to make.Once you start enjoying your own company and start living your life, you draw the attention of other people, free spirited single Indian men can do a lot of things that their married counterparts cannot.With no responsibilities over us , we are eagles soaring high in the skies.By staying single we disturb the natural order of the society hence we are disliked, we are branded irresponsible as we don not undertake the responsibilities of a family and fatherhood.No one is willing to accept the fact that we are pursuing our own interest at the cost of sacrificing our married life.

Our lifestyle is a big question mark for many. Most people think that we boose, take drugs, watch pronograpic movies,womanize and live a shabby life, that is certainly not the case. Now we cannot go around justifying our existence, can we? Remaining single allows us to pursue the activities of our own interests, we are more content with our lives compared to our married peers.Many single Indian men take a step further to take good care of themselves, age gracefully, become voracious readers and wonderful conversationalists.These men shine out, so they get hated, single men also do not have the financial woes that married folks have, no home loans, no car loans, no school and college fees to pay. Thirties and forties are a bliss for the single Indian men. So now tell me , why won't the single guys be hated.

Indian society will always remain intolerant, it does not accept the minority or diverse people.We often see its hatred directed towards its religious minorities , low castes, dark skinned people, north east Indians, the LTGB community , widows, divorcees and singles. Ohhh and not to forget the hatred towards the non-vegetarian eaters and those who exercise their freedom of speech.

We the single Indian men are free spirited souls, we have chosen this life, we don't need confirmation from idiotic and stupid married Indian men who claim to be representing the society, we don't need any advice and we don't want help.If the society hates, so be it. Who and what is the Indian society? It is made up of four people who will always have something critical to say no matter what you do.

The society is never going to accept us as we have violated its norms, rules and laws and we don't need its acceptance either.Our married peers will always have something to say. What you will eventually carry to your death bed are memories and experiences, do your best to make them look good.Looking back it is these memories that will bring a smile on your face. So go ahead and life your free spirited life without bothering about others.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Are today's urban singles actually desperate and miserable?-DOTSIM-BHAVEEN HETH

A few days ago I read this article on social media titled as "How India's cool singles are actually more miserable than ever" written by Mr.Sanjay Austa.

I agree with him that today's singles are actually living a miserable life.They may claim and proclaim that they are living the moment and don't need a man or a woman to support them and a lot more bullshit.But the truth is that internally many are unhappy with their single status.

In India, once your cross 30, marriage prospects fall down disproportionately.It is more difficult for a female to seek a mate.Men don't have an easy chance either.Both genders look out for suitable mates only to hit a dead end with no progress ahead.

In our society no one prepares you for living a solo life.You are constantly brainwashed about finding your soulmate with whom you will live ever after.Many singles are not emotionally strong to live a solo life, they don't want to be single forever and are desperately seeking a spouse no matter what they say.

Desperation levels are so high that these singles try to find a potential soul mate at each and every place, it can be the office, apartments, gymnasium, pubs and even coffee shops. This is the level of desperation.

The author Sanjay Austa states that there is no one who is truly single in India.I would like to counter his statement by saying that there are genuine and authentic single people living in India.There are men and women who have made the decision to live solo after a lot of deliberation.There are singles on whom wisdom dawned upon at an early age and they decided to live single.They decided and even planned their lives in that manner.Accepting single hood wholeheartedly is the first most important battle to be one.Gradually over the years they have negotiated their way in the society which is prejudiced and discriminatory towards single people.These people know how to spend their time by engaging themselves in creative and social activities.They are strong enough to deal with problems and difficulties.

Coming back to the desperate miserable single , fact be stated that they are not truly single as the ones I have mentioned in the above paragraph. These people keep whining about their single status. Single women keep making impractical statements like "Koi accha to milna chahiye" (I should come across some decent man), the single men have this entitlement syndrome, just because they are well qualified and earn a decent salary, they deserve the most beautiful women, add to that is the family expectation that the girl should give up her job and career and become a housewife. Some of these men don't find any suitable matches and keep on getting rejected by potential women, either their behavior is abnormal or they are not the presentable kind.Sky high expectation amongst both the genders is the reason why we find a rising population of 30 plus singletons.The second reason is the unwillingness to compromise. How do you expect to get hitched when you happen to be so inflexible.It is seems that pragmatism has become a casualty of our times. Superficial attributes and face value have become the most important criteria for considering a soul mate.Where are those day when people courted each other with no expectations.

We have 90 percent miserable singletons both men and women living in India.You still see them shacked up in their parent's homes in spite of being in their 30s and 40s. They don't posses any life skills. Speaking about the single men, they live with their parents, go to work, come home ,eat food, watch television and go to sleep.They don't have any hobbies and engagements, they have never traveled solo beyond the confines of their cities.While they may say that they are happily living a solo life, their parents (and sometimes they themselves) are looking out and meeting some potential woman in order to get married. Yaaa, they do want to get married.

And now the talk on the single women. They are nowhere close to the ones whom you would have seen in the famous American TV sitcoms  like "Sex and the city" and "Friends". Many of them are narrow minded and traditional. They too are shacked up in their parents homes or are sharing apartments with like minded single girlies.They too are living a mediocre life of going about doing their jobs and earning a living and like the single men they are equally miserable.You will see these women at beauty salons, gyms and shopping malls blowing up their hard earned money trying to look good and buying useless and unwanted things just to fulfill their shopping itch. Forget about traveling solo, for all the feminism and empowerment they speak of, they can't muster up the courage of crossing the  geographical limits of their cities on their own. Ohhh, I forgot to mention, they can't cook, yes , you heard it right they can't handle the kitchen.It is either their moms or their housemaids who are cooking for them and handling the house and if for some reason the mother falls sick or the house maid does not come for a day, all hell breaks loose.You will find such women,plenty of them on tinder and online matrimonial sites, all looking out for companionship and marriage.

These people are not really single, they are just pretending to be single because they don't want to be looked upon an unmarriageable or matrimonially disadvantaged.

Being truly single is a different thing.It is about focusing on oneself , looking inwardly and improving on a day to day basis.It is about having hobbies and engaging oneself after office hours.Truly single people travel solo to different places in order to order to gain experience and get a better perspective about life.They make meaningful relationship with people, have engaging conversations with the opposite gender ,have relationships with them.Truly single people do not lament on their single hood, they celebrate it.Truly single people accept themselves for who they are, they don't need someone to validate them.Truly single people are sane and have a sense of equanimity. Skilfully navigating through the tortuous path of the Indian society can only be done by truly single people.Truly single people openly defy and resist the institution of marriage in their own creative way and become an admirable example for others.

And as India has a rising urban population of single people in their 30s and 40, the truly single people are a minority and a majority are made of people who are miserably single.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

On being a pragmatist and not cynical-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM

Being single in India has its own challenges. My single status is a question mark to a lot of people.

One of the reasons for being single is the unwillingness to take unwanted responsibilities and the existing anti-male laws in the judicial system of this country. Whenever I speak my mind on these topics or express my opinion, I get labelled as a cynic, negative  and   depressed person.That does not mean that marriage is a bad institution. Getting married is good, but if a person is not willing to get married, he is labelled as a cynic.

There are many Indian men for whom marriage has turned into a disaster. These men still have bitter memories of their failed marriages and they carry a lot of emotional baggage. Other men had failed relationships, some men come from dysfunctional families, the primary institution of marriage failed them.The bond of holy matrimony failed them.So they decided not to get married. I don't think that they are cynical.

I have clearly stated my case. Being an orphan makes me an outcast and vulnerable.The first thing is that I have found no takers. Secondly, I am well aware of the fact that there are manipulative female opportunists out there who want to get married to me because they have equally found no takers. These women have parents who play the sympathy card to get their daughters married. No just imagine, I have no one to help me in my difficult times:what would happen if I was charged under all those false feminist anti-male laws? Who will help me? I cannot live a life controlled by a woman who is emotionally abusing me 24*7.

Single hood has given me an opportunity to live life on my own terms. In my early 30's, I often see my peers who are living a mundane life.The ubiquitous albatross of home loans and EMI is hanging on their necks along with the Damocles sword of loosing a job.Many have resigned to their fates and are living a mediocre life. They get up , go to work, pay their bills, go home, eat food, watch TV and sleep.When I compare my life with them, I find myself better off. Single life has give me the freedom to do what I want.

No one is right and no one is wrong. Everyone has a different view or perception about a particular situation. A pragmatist always looks at both sides before he/she makes a decision. I have done the same thing and there is nothing wrong with the decision that I have taken.

To all the single Indian men out there,please note that if you are single because of your own choice then you are not a cynic. You are single because you are a pragmatist, so please don't fee sad about it.

The probem with our Indian society is that anyone who does not conform to it norms, rules and regulations is dubbed as a cynic.

This Bhaveen Sheth singing out and will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

 

Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-What has become of the Indian Man?

In this blogpost, I , Bhaveen Sheth, the Single Indian  male would like to put my grievance on what has become of the Indian man. This applies to men across this country and those working abroad.I write on the growing frustration of Indian men.

So what has become of the Indian man?What are we? Who are we? Do we have our own identity? No!! I don't think so.

From childhood our gender has been used by our patriarchal grandparents and parents to look down upon other people within the extended family and neighbourhood. We are nothing but flag bearers of the family name.

Our mothers have used us as a reference point for comparing with children of other women.Our childhood is of no concern to anyone. Marks and accomplishments is all that matters.

Since our birth we were taught to hate the opposite gender. We have been brainwashed in dominating women. Girls and women have been portrayed as our enemies.

As we grow, we are forced to participate in rituals we hate and social functions we don't want to attend.

We are compared.skin colour, height, looks, academic achievements and what not. People forget that we are human beings and children.

Teen years bring a lot of hormonal changes within us and we desire for female companionship.But in the Indian society, dating comes with its own terms and conditions. Those who are average Joes don't stand a chance to date a girl.

And do we even stand to choose the career of our choice? NO!! We are intimidated into taking up traditional and safe career choices. Why? Well, because we have to continue the family's professional legacy of being a doctor , engineer, business graduate or we have to follow the herd mentality or may be we have to fulfil the unfilled dreams and desires of our parents and grandparents.

We are not allowed to think, act, behave and live the way we want.Our careers choice are compared with others.

In our 20's . jobs , salaries and compensation benefits become another reference point. You are supposed to work in a renowned organization, draw a hefty six figure salary and get the best of all benefits.And what happens when you don't meet the above criteria? You get labelled as a wasted good for nothing looser.Society does not respect unconventional careers choices;it detests people who who do the same.

We are not settled properly in our careers and the talk of marriage comes up. No one understands that we need minimum 3 to 5 years to settle down in your careers.

You can't marry the girl of your choice, if you do, it once again comes with its own terms and conditions.Parents will go around hunting the beautiful houries around town who fit into their criteria. Marriage is nothing but a win win trade off situation wherein the salary of the groom and the beauty of the bride is matched and holy matrimony is solemnized.

Post marriage it is our wives who use us a reference point for comparing with husbands of other women.We are forced to buy a car we don't need and a house (minimum 2 BHK) we don't want.Courtesy: Our wives and in-laws.

In case of marital discord, we face legal terrorism. There are more that 15 anti male , female biased marital laws present in the judicial system of this country. We are slapped with worst charges.

Only and ignorant fool will say that marriage is a bliss for a man in India.We are overburdened with unwanted responsibilities and sky high expectations.Sex becomes a manipulative tool that wives use against their husbands.Many husbands are not served breakfast or lunch when they leave for work. You can see these husbands eating all forms of junk food on different food stalls lined up outside their corporate offices.

Emotional and verbal abuses have become part of our lives.First at the hands of our parents and relatives and later at the hands of our wives. Loneliness in spite of being married is now becoming a normal thing amongst married men.

This is what has become of the Indian man. This is what our society has moulded us into. We are the family torch bearers, the Rams and Shravans fulfilling the expectations of other people, tag along  FRIEND for women, unpaid bodyguards, disposable ATMs, provides, protectors, norm followers, keepers of compliances, alimony providers, sperm donors, solace for the dejected and the rejected women, timely payers of EMI's and home loans.

This is what has become of the Indian man.

Bhaveen Sheth signs off and promises to write a lot more

BHAVEEN SHETH

HUM KYAA CHAHTE HAI!! AZAADI !!!!!!!

HUM KYAA CHAHTE HAI , AZAADI, AZAADI, AZAADI!!!!! WHAT WE WANT IS FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM!!!!!!!!

This was the slogan used by the Kashimiris in the late 80's and the 90's when they wanted freedom from India. This slogan is still  active in the Kashmir valley even today.

It may not have any meaning for the majority of the mainland Indian citizens like us, but for many Indian men it is a statement calling for freedom and liberation from the bonds of the Indian society , from the shackles of patriarchy.

Yes,  many Indian men too want AZAADI, not the AZAADI that the rich urban Indian kids have but the AZAADI to live your live on your own terms.

We want AZAADI. 

AZAADI from the bullshit double standards of the Indian society.

AZAADI to live a single Independent life.

AZAADI from being a provider and caretaker.

AZAADI from the unnecessary responsibilities put on our shoulders just because we are men.

AZAADI to choose the career and professions that we want.

AZAADI to be single or get married

AZAADI to marry the woman of our choice.

AZAADI to relocate to a place where we feel comfortable.

AZAADI to do what we want, when we want and how we want.

AZAADI to have multiple partners in our lives.

AZAADI of not having to carry the family name.

AZAADI from the anti-male and female biased laws in this country.

AZAADI from being the walking stick of the elderly.

AZAADI from the constant criticisms that we face because of the way we live.

AZAADI from the taunts and emotional abused we face at the hands of the Indian women.

AZAADI to go to a sex worker/prostitute without facing a backlash.

AZAADI to travel solo.

AZAADI to  splurge on ourselves without feeling guilty.

AZAADI to pursue our hobbies and interests.

AZAADI to love and be loved without terms and conditions.

AZAADI from being the beast of burden.

We the Indian men also want this AZAADI/ FREEDOM. I, Bhaveen Sheth openly protests at the Indian society that put restrictions on the freedom of Indian men. I, Bhaveen Sheth openly protests and put it down in writing.

A year after I deleted all my online matrimonial profiles

On 8th of March 2014 (last year) , I deleted all my online matrimonial profiles. It was certainly an eventful day to take such a step (International Women's day)

Growing up in my 20's, like every other single Indian man, I too had dreams of getting married some day. Having no proper family background and no relatives to stand or speak on my behalf, I created my profile on different online matrimonial sites that had sprung up over the last decade. What followed was a roller coaster ride of nothing but disappointment and dejection. I will mention my experiences on subsequent blogposts.

Later after a lot of soul searching I finally realized that I was not marriage material. I decided to give up my search for a soul mate and deleted all my matrimonial profiles.

A years after deleting the same, I would like to write down my observations below:

No false hopes and no bitter disappointments

Every expression of matrimony on profile raised a sense of false hope. There were times when I used to feel that this was the person made for me. Little did I realize that these women or their parents were checking me out as a potential candidate that might meet their requirements or expectations. Talks with some girls did give me a sense of fale hope and elation only to be hit by a bitter sense of disappointment when I got rejected. I started feeling that I had joined the category of the dejected and the rejected.

After deleting my profiles, I have never had such negative feelings because there were no rejections and no disappointments.

BHAVEEN SHETH wishes a Happy 2015

Goodbye 2014 and welcome 2015.

Bhaveen Sheth the Single Indian male wishes a Happy New Year to all the Single Men out there.  I promise to write more issues related to the single Indian Me, CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Indian Women marrying less successful younger men!! Seriously!!!! I doubt!!!

The single Indian male came across the following blog in the  times of India, written an eminent writer.

The link is pasted below, kindly read it:

The 'little third' in a marriage!

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/O-zone/entry/the-little-third-in-a-marriage

The author states how some single successful women are not able to find good marital partners after a particular age and how they then try to hit upon successful married men.

The society considers these women to be the left over women and are viewed with a great suspicion and threat as they may break the  happy go lucky families by wooing the husband.

Some snippets from the blog:

"The discussions transported me back to a living room in Beijing a couple of months ago, where the topic of discussion was xiaosan or ‘The Little Third,’ a derogatory term used for women who ‘break up’ homes. The rampant phenomenon of girls brazenly targeting older, rich men has given rise to a fanatic rage amongst women in Chinese social circles. The Chinese are even considering legislation to make The Little Third pay damages for breaking a home!

Actually, the problem goes much beyond fatal attractions, extra-marital affairs or blame games. It is a real social issue that needs to be dealt with. An increasing number of women set upon building successful careers, miss the bus where marriage is concerned, waking up too late. The Chinese usually have interesting, though derogatory terms for such social categories and phenomena. This category of women is called ‘shengnu,’ or ‘leftover women’.    

Look around in your immediate vicinity; you will be surprised at the number of highly successful, unmarried women you will notice. Educated, well paid and confident, these women are not willing to lower their standards and make compromises. They may even be happy with single lives but come under overwhelming pressure from family to marry. And since all the good (read successful and rich) guys are taken, they do not have much choice.    

So it isn’t as if these women go looking for a married man to break up his marriage. These are the only available men who meet their standards. And surely, it is a test of character and of the strength of their marriages whether these men allow The Little Third to enter their sacred space or not. "

And the author offers a decent workable solution to such women

"A great solution would be if the successful women who already have it all, except a man in their lives, elected to marry down and marry younger – offer an unemployed and not-so-successful guy some privileges. The problem arises when they wish to have it all. For instance, Farah Khan married well, a younger guy with potential — Shirish Kunder — and even gave him a hand up professionally. Now they are happy with their triplets. When Kareena Kapoor linked up with Shahid Kapoor, she too would have ended up giving a leg up to a guy less successful than her; but things didn’t work out between them.    

So, how about it, women? Are you game for shifting perspective and looking a bit lower than traditionally acceptable? Choose and nurture men younger than you in time, if you are single and successful, and too ambitious to marry rightaway. Wouldn’t you love to be Sugar Mommies for a change? "

Ohhhhhh!!!! C'mon man , how can you be so naive. Do you really think that such successful Indian women will marry a less successful man or a younger person whom she will nurture. GOSH!!!! Looks like this author has lost sense of reality and is stating facts based on her wild and vivid imagination, she gives examples of people from the entertainment fraternity, the very lives of people which are not stable and are constantly rocked time and again under the glare of the media.

Sugar Mommies!!!!! Oh god!!!!! The truth is that such single successful women have very high expectations from their future partners, they are not willing to settle for less. Look around, look at all those online matrimonial sites, single successful women out there expecting a good look well settled husbands who can bring more salary home than them.

I have rarely come across a woman who has married someone who is less educated than her or earns a lower salary. This is the reality and it does not change in the materialistic Indian society.

Words of wisdom from a 46 year old single Indian Male

My dear Single Indian Male friends,

There are times when we would like to look up to some seniors or must I say veterans in the league of the single Indian men. However there seem to be none. Looks like the Indian society has made  a decision to hunt down the last single Indian  male and get him married.

However browsing through google for some sensible advice from a middle aged single Indian man, I came upon the following article:

46, Male, Single. And no less fraught

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/46-male-single-and-no-less-fraught/article5929262.ece

Here is a person in his forty's telling us on how the Indian society treats him. It does not respect his privacy and often taunts him on his single status.

Some of the statements form his article:

They seem to suggest: get married and all your problems will vanish. Do they mean to say married people have no problems? Aha! They do, they do. But problems of the married are somehow more fashionable and more respectable than the problems of single people. Still a bachelor at forty-six, I now realise that my choice to remain single was as smart a move a man chased by a yelping puppy can make by jumping to safety into a pit full of scorpions and cockroaches. (Don’t ask me how they, the stingers and the ticklers, live together. In such a pit, they do!)

When loneliness and desperation leads to a violent crime

My dear single Indian Male friends,

Last Sunday, I came across this news article in times of India. It stated that a man shot his virtual facebook friend whom he was communicating with for a very long time as he  got frustrated when met her person and felt that he had been cheated:

Please read the article in the link below:

Facebook date turns bloody: Man shoots woman, then kills self

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Facebook-date-turns-bloody-Man-shoots-woman-then-kills-self/articleshow/33977468.cms

Recent update: An indepth article published in the Indian Express:

http://indianexpress.com/article/india/politics/the-unlikes/

It seems that after shooting her , he shot and killed himself.

On men who dishonour the family name

A lot has happened to women in India who have allegedly "dishonored" the family name. They have been murdered in the most gruesome fashion and some have been brutally gang raped. And for what?? Did they break the law??? Did they do something that was wrong???? NO!!!!!

All they did was to live their lives, to indulge in sex, to marry a person who did not belong to their community or for just roaming around with a guy. Is it wrong???? Which law in India stops a person from doing  things that I have mentioned??? Is is a crime to seek love??? Is it a crime to fulfill your carnal desires??? If men have desires so do women??? Why then such a deplorable attitude towards the fairer sex.

And what , what about guys who dishonor the family name?? What about them?? Are they killed or murdered in the manner that girls are??? Are they chopped into pieces??? Are they sodomized by a gang????? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After all they are  boys,  and boys will be boys for the traditional narrow minded patriarchal society!!!!!!!

In this post I would like to share my thoughts on how men in India bring dishonor to the family name, on how their actions can cause a lot of grief and anguish to a lot of families.

On boastful married Indian husbands

Collecting experiences from my every day life , I choose today to write on the boastful married Indian husbands.

Its common to come across married Indian women who keep on boasting of their children's, their capabilities, skills, achievements etc. It looks as if they are the only ones who have produced children in this world. 

But one also comes across married men who keep on boasting, they boast of their wives, their children etc. Now if an olympics were to be held in faking happiness in a marriage, I bet Indians would win the first prize.

But today i would lilke to go into the mindset of these very men, the men who just can't stop boasting!!!

And why??? Why has this become my personal vendetta???? Well , as the single Indian male, I happen to come across these looser scum bags who boast and in a way insult and humiliate the single Indian male by telling him how he has lost out in life, on how he is missing out the good things that come with marital bliss.

So here we go. Who are these F@#$%ed up creatures???. Well!!! The average Joe. Nothing special about them. If a person is happy and content with his life, why should he boast in the first place??  Only an unhappy or an insecure man will go around boasting trying to show how happy he is!!!

An inspiring qoute for the single Indian male

Often we are criticized and accused of not living by the norms of the Indian society. Today I would like to share a quote with all of you which will inspire us and make us feel proud of our single status.

Bhaveen Sheth-Diary of the Single Indian Male- Search yourself in your Solitude

My Dear Single Indian Males,

Today i would like to discuss on the topic on knowing yourself. How many of us really know who we really are??? The answer is that only few of us know it.

We have been bought up in a close knit family and community and we become men based on the feedback and perception of our near and dear ones. Very few of us get the opportunity to explore the the world outside our homes and communities. Hence we never our selves that well.

The moment an average Indian male reaches a suitable age, a bride hunt starts and he soon gets married, whether he likes it or not. After this starts a new chapter of marriage where the the man has to take up responsibilities and play the tole of a husband, son and father. All this without truly knowing theyself.

In all my years of traveling around India, i have come across such frustrated Men who are living a life without any goals, men who are just counting days, men who have lost it but are just continue to live because they have the burden of responsibilities.

And so my single male friends, cherish your solitude, maybe god has kept us single so that we can discover our selves, maybe we can realize what we really  want in life, our passions and interests are ignited, the freedom to pursue the activities we want.

It is this solitude that will make you realize who you really are and what we really want. So go ahead and take some time so that you can be at peace with your self and you will realize who you really are and what you really want.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signig off for the day , will be back with a lot more later.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth

Bhaveen Sheth -Diary of the Single Indian Male-Avoid the feeling of being left out or missing the opprtunity of Matrimony

My Dear Single Indian male,

Last week two events happened , one of my colleagues in the place where i work and who happens to be 4 years younger to me became and father and my room mate who again happens to be 27 years old got his marriage relation fixed through his family.

Plenty of Single Indian Men who have either missed out the opportunity of getting married or are not getting married may have gone through similar situations. There are times when you see that people who are younger to you are getting married , may of them have become fathers and mothers with tiny tots in their arms.

And there you are still single with no woman and child around you.

Bhaveen Sheth-Diary of the Single Indian Male-Spare your Parents of the Humiliation

My Dear Single Indian  Men,

Today I would like to discuss on the Topic of sparing your parents from Humiliation.

Many a Times we read articles or blog posts of the parents of an Indian Girl who openly tell about the humiliating experiences that they have to face when they want to get their divorced, widowed or over aged daughter  married, not to mention the girl who does not fit into the ideal requirement of being the typical Indian Bride ( fair, good looking, dumb, respects elders slim and all the other bullshit crap).

Bhaveen Sheth-Diary of a Single Indian Male- Finacial Planning

My Dear Single Indian Males ,

Please start planning for your future and when i said planning, i meant financial planning , not family planning. Hence please go read the following link on first post, it was basically wwritten keeping the single Indian woman in mind, but the same rules apply to the single Indian male as well.

Go  ahead read the post an plan your future:

http://www.firstpost.com/investing/happily-unmarried-heres-a-financial-plan-for-you-464555.html

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off , will be back with some more.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth

Diary of a Single Indian Male-We are the Chosen ones

My Dear Single Indian Men,

All my brothers who are single for whatever reasons, please don't get depressed. Let me tell you that taking a decision to be single is not easy , especially for men. It takes a lot of courage and guts to stay alone.

And guess what!!!! all you single men out there have the courage to stay alone. Please don't be disheartened, remember we are the chosen ones, chosen by god to stay alone and be happy. There is something productive that we single men are going to contribute to the society and to the world.

So enjoy this single life and remain happy.

This is Bhaveen Shetn signing off for the day, will be back with some more.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth