Paternal feelings as a single Indian man-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

 We are men, we are human and even if we are single, we have paternal feelings. As humans we yearn for for children. There are times when we feel if we had our own little children with whom we could play with and have fun. Unfortunately we don't have our children.

Narrating my own experience now that I have been a veteran single Indian man having led a solitary life, I love small children. There is something about them, their childishness, innocent smile, naughty laughter, little mischief and playful nature. Children are so pure, they are not affected by the toxicity of the outside world. Just 10 minutes of time spent with children and I forget all my problems. Currently I am very much attached to my niece, nephew and my best friend's son. I always look forward to spend some time with them and feel so happy about it. In public places, I come across small children and take an opportunity to put my hand over their heads in order to bless them.

I may not be a parent but love to be that friendly uncle to all children. I have this dream to mentor small children especially those who belong to the underprivileged section. Maybe their blessing and goodwill will go a long way in having a happy life.

Bhaveen Sheth

DOTSIM 

The MGTOW Life- Of not having roots and deep connections-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Over the years having lived the MGTOW lifestyle, I have acknowledged and accepted a few realities. The most important of not having roots and deep connection. Veteran MGTOWs can acknowledge the fact that over the years it is not possible for establish roots and deep connection with a place or society.

Work has taken us away to new places, sometimes in India or abroad. We have lost connections with our relatives over the course of time. Being single also means that you don't get invited to the functions organized in the society. We can have some close friends with whom we share our thoughts, feelings and opinions.

We have placed ourselves in metro cities that are totally new to us. We navigate through the Urban Jungle and a competitive and stress filled corporate environment. Leaving everything behind we came here to make a life, we struggled hard, went through difficulties, coped with loneliness and finally made a mark for ourselves and still we find that void somewhere in our heart. Over the years we have seen others establish roots and forge deep connections with the city and society through marriages, starting a family and having kids. These people have become part of the larger society. We are happy and appreciate their achievements.

Yet we as MGTOWs after having spent years in a city we are still strangers to it. We may have some known hangouts that we frequently visit or acquaint with some people with whom we regularly interact, that is our only interaction that we have. At work our relationships are mostly professional hardly culminating into a personal bond.

Rootless that we are and travelers that we will remain. This is the life that we have chose and we should not have any regrets for the same.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW 

India's doormat husbands-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

We all have heard about doormat boyfriends.As matured men now in our 30s and 40s we would have observed during our college days how some boys would go around doing simping for the girls they liked. They would take them on dates, movies, recharge their mobile phones, xerox their notes and do all other sundry jobs that the girls wanted. But these men remained friends only friends, nothing happened beyond that. Majority of these men felt used after some point of time. They were nothing other than doormat boyfriends aka beta simps.

Some years later this trend is repeated again.Many of these men are now accomplished on their professional front and it is time for them to get married.As usual the search for a suitable bride starts and the search is narrowed down to that one special person who is fair and good looking.Marriage is solemnized and a new chapter begins.

A few years later this man has  become a classical case of a doormat husband.He is nothing more than a 24/7 ATM, protector and provider. He is supposed to take care of his wife and kids, pay all the bills and facilitate a luxurious lifestyle for the wife and kids, pay the EMI's, car loans, home loans and school fees, sponsor the annual vacations and also take care of all the in-laws.

Now what does this man get in return. Nothing!!! Other than those lovely initial months of intimacy after marriage there is nothing. Some men are now denied intimacy. The wife has now gone to the gym and become a yummy mummy. As she is getting a lot of attention from other men she now now no longer values her husband, some of them are even having affairs with other men while having their luxurious lifestyle being taken care of by the husband. Just like how they boyfriend used to do all the sundry jobs for his crush now it is the husband sponsoring the luxurious lifestyle of his wife but does not get anything in return. He has no value, no respect and no honour. This is a reality that our society does not discuss but its exists. The problem is such husbands do not want to accept that they are doormat husbands.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

Happy International Men's Day-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

My dear Indian men, I hope your are doing well. We are now seeing the end of the year 2021 and this year was again challenging considering the 2nd wave of the COVID Pandemic.

On this day I would like to wish you all men a very Happy International Men's Day. This day is important in order to celebrate our existence as the male gender and our contributions to the society. As observed previously, no organization or media group will celebrate this day. No one wants to give this day any importance. After all in this country Indian men are second class citizens. We only have responsibilities and accountability but no rights.

But still, I want all you Indian men to be proud of yourself for you you are and what you have become. For my single Indian male friends, please continue this path of being solo and going ahead in life. There is peace and happiness associated with solo living. In the years to come you will realize how lucky you have been by opting for a solo living. We are now seeing India going through a 4th wave of radical feminism, this will eventually lead to the breakdown of the society and the family structure. But as a single Indian man I don't care.

Be proud of your gender and never apologize for your masculinity. Remember, you are  man and if you make up your mind, you can achieve whatever you want.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

The Year 2021-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-MGTOW

Greetings my dear single Indian men and fellow MGTOWs. I hope you all are doing well. My sincere apologies for not being able to write for the last few months. Work and personal things had kept me busy.I hope this year brings you peace, prosperity and joy.

Last year was miserable for all of us, the COVID Pandemic and subsequent lockdown made life difficult. Even as I write this post our country is going through its 2nd wave and we do not know when the cases will plummet.

As we step into a new decade, we must understand the challenges that we as single Indian men and MGTOWs will face. The most important: Retaining your current job. The economic slow down and recession caused due to the Pandemic and lockdowns has increased unemployment and lead to job cuts. I sincerely hope all my fellow readers have been able to retain their jobs.

This year we should focus on our health and well being. Please do away with bad habits if you have any. It is important that we eat the right food and undertake regular exercise, work on body sculpting and improve one's stamina. Mental health is another aspect that we should not neglect. Yoga  and meditation will be helpful combined with forming a good friend circle made up with positive people. They will become our support system.

As our honorable Prime Minister had stated last year, it is time for us to become Atmanirbhar i.e become self dependent, self sufficient and self reliant. We must learn cooking, doing our daily chores independently.Buy a vehicle so that we are not dependent on public transport. Most important we must get into the habit of living alone.

Finally I must warn all my single Indian male readers on not becoming desperate for marriage or companionship due to the COVID Pandemic.These are difficult times indeed.

Once again I wish you all the best and hope this year bring positive improvements in your life.

When the married people try to shame the MGTOWs for their Lifestyle-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Shaming others has now become the new norm or what I would say the new normal. We shame others in person and troll people online. Anyone who does not follow the rules of the majority or does not conform to the set norms is shamed.

People are being shamed for their body structure, their thinking, colour, caste and creed. All this has been going on for decades. However lifestyle shaming is a new thing. We as Indians love to shame others who do not conform to the normal lifestyle.

So how can MGTOWs be kept out from this shaming. As a veteran MGTOW I have often been criticized for my choice of lifestyle, I am told that I am too miser, money minded and saving a lot of money. I just don't understand these married folks. They have their families and have to spend their money on them and why are they bothered with what we do with our salary? This is because they feel that we are not living up to the so called standards of the society.

In the age of minimalism and lean management, I fail to understand why do we require unwanted materialistic things that are so big and expensive. Why is it that we believe in so much of show off. false glorification and display for no reason. Is it important to brag about every other expensive thing you bought?

As MGTOW's our lifestyle is simple and relatively inexpensive. We have minimal needs. A small house, basic electronic equipments and a decent vehicle to commute. Do we need anything more? As a veteran MGTOW , I have a set of limited clothes and possess things that I needs for may regular use. I don't need to live in a house where I have to invite people for dinner or parties, I don't need a car or a bike to impress girls and I don't believe in wasting my hard earned money on trying to fit into the crowd. So long as I am content with what  I am doing and the way I am living, I am hardly bothered.

In the coming years many such married folks will taunt me and criticize me for the choice of my lifestyle. I will be told that I am saving money for no reason and will not take anything after I die, that I am not enjoying my lifestyle. I wish I could argue with these people and try to correct them by stating that expensive vehicles and house does not set a standard and one does not need to waste his money on trying to conform with the majority. But I don't. I realize that most of the married men are slaves of the society and the banking system. I choose not to argue with them.

To all my fellow MGTOWs, you will face lifestyle shaming at some point of your time and try not to get offended by them. Remember you have yourself to take care of and not people to impress, especially when people in the present times and fake and superficial.  

Stop judging people who have left their dysfunctional families: Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

Sometime back I had came across a  post wherein the Head of an Organization refused to hire a person who had cut off  ties with his family (parents and siblings). He said a person who cannot get along with his family and manage family relationships is not fit to work in an organization. Years back when I was doing my post graduation, one of my colleagues who was part of my circle made a statement that a person who is not attached to his/her own family cannot be trusted.

This is the problem with our country, just like marriage, family is considered to be a holy and pious  institution lacking any flaws. There is no concept of dysfunctional family as we the people of India do not believe in such things. Every family is good and there are no problems in it whatsoever. People hardly talk about dysfunctional families. After all we are a society of denial.

My profession and my travels across India has made me realize that there are major problems within Indian families, just no one wants to mention it. I understand that it is a personal choice. 

However what if someone wants to move away from such a toxic dysfunctional family and start a new life elsewhere? What if someone realizes that his/her family is dysfunctional and chooses to move out? What if someone decided to just leave such a dysfunctional family for his/her betterment? Is it wrong? Why are they ostracized?

I often read articles on how women should walk out of bad marriages and live a happy life, how a bad marriage of even 2 years leaves emotional scars upon the woman. If moving out of a dysfunctional marriage is considered as empowerment and liberation then why is leaving a dysfunctional family considered a taboo?

Does anyone actually know what happens within a dysfunctional family? How difficult is it to stay even for one day and tolerate tantrums of family members who have major emotional issues? I guess it is not easy to relate to this? Only a person from a toxic dysfunctional family will understand what goes on and what kind of emotional roller ride it is? 

There are major issues in such families starting with a couple that is never compatible with each other. Forced into marriage due to family pressure and endure a dead end dysfunctional marriage in order to comply with the norms of the society is a common case. Such couples even have children as they have to show the proof of their masculinity and femininity to the world. Children born in these families are at the receiving end of the family toxicity. Combine this with narrow minded elderly patriarchs and matriarchs living in the family who are the followers, defenders and enforcers of traditional values, norms and customs that they think are necessary to be passed on and enforced on each and every generation. Passing on good manners, culture, values and etiquette is not wrong but enforcing your own personality and dominating the lives of other by curbing their freedom is not acceptable. Everyone wants autonomy to do what they want and as they please.  

Then there are those toxic families who have a problem with the entire world. Seems like that they cannot tolerate anyone outside their family circle. They judge and criticize each and everyone, they fight with all their neighbors for no reason. No one wants to be associate with such a family. Such families do not know how to live normally within a community, they get ostracized and ridiculed. 

Any child growing up in such families faces major problems related to self esteem, confidence and ability to negotiate in the world outside their homes. They are often the prisoners to their own thoughts and prejudices that have been inculcated in them by years of upbringing and conditioning. It is not easy to adjust with the outside world. Children from these families are often ridiculed and looked upon with derision and contempt. These children find it difficult to adjust with normal people.

So long as these children are associated with their dysfunctional families they will not be able to become sane adults. The ones with wisdom realize that its is necessary to move away from their toxic families if they want to start a normal life. For those who stay back and remain with their dysfunctional families, life is not good. They become a replica of their own dysfunctional parents or family members finding it difficult to adjust with the normal world.

I just want to ask anyone who is reading this post "What is wrong if someone leaves his/her toxic dysfunctional family?" " What is wrong if someones severs relationships with family members who are acerbic?" We come across so many corporate coaches and motivational speakers who give long speeches on avoiding negative people and staying away from them as it is detrimental to an individual's progress, then why no one talks about toxic dysfunctional families?

The feminist media empowers divorce and separation by stating that women should not waste their best years by staying with a wrong person then why should a normal person stay with a dysfunctional family even for a day.

Millions of childhoods have been ruined, careers and marriages destroyed due to toxic dysfunctional families. It is time for anyone reading this post to seriously introspect. Every individual has a right to live a dignified life, a life filled with joy and happiness and he/ she can chose it individually. 

Judging a person on his/her family background is not right. Everyone has a story and we should learn to respect a person. Everyone is fighting his/her own  battles, the least that we can do is empathize and try to understand. People are products of their circumstances and the situations that they have faced. 

People who leave their dysfunctional families in order to have a better and peaceful start are strong, capable and independent decision makers. They have the courage to face the world on their own and there is nothing that will stop them. Learn to accept such people. In today's times this is the new normal.

Bhaveen Sheth

The commodification of the Indian man-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

The single Indian man would like to counter and challenge the feminist narrative about Indian women being objectified, meaning they are looked upon from their skin colour, looks and body shapes. But what about the Indian man. Is he not being treated as a commodity who comes with a price tag? Please find my reasoning in the below write up.

No other society has judged, labelled and priced its men like the Indian society, An Indian man is nothing but a sum total of his education, job designation, monthly salary, vehicle and property ownership. Rest does not matter. His character, morals behaviour and many other individual traits hold no importance.

The society treats an Indian man as a commodity put for display on a shelf.His job and salary decide his price tag and worth in the society. It is this very feature that makes him eligible in the marriage market.

For me, now a veteran MGTOW who gave up dreams on marriage a long time ago such things hardly matter.But I feel sorry for men who are looking out for a suitable life partner for marriage. Because they don't meet the required criteria they keep on getting rejected. Even the average Indian women who other wise have no significant achievements reject these men.

The commodification process of the Indian man starts right from his childhood, the day he was born.Good marks and grades in school, results of SSC and HSC, performance in entrance examinations, admission in good colleges, campus placements, packages and a lot more goes in the making up of a good Indian man.

The society complains  of the social evil called dowry. But aren't the Indian women equally responsible for it? Just look around, they all want well settled men who can take care of them and for that the girls parents are willing to go to any extent in paying a hefty dowry and financing a big fat Indian wedding. The truth is that the Indian men are bought at a price. This is the real commodification, the men come with a price tag.

The more successful the man is, the greater is his price tag in the marriage market.

Commodification of the Indian man has been existing from a long time. However in the last two decades it has reached magnanimous proportions. People often complain on the rising cases on divorces and breakdown in the family system but no one speaks on this evil of commodification. How can a marriage last when materialism and money take precedence over values, personality and behaviour. Does money and property decide long term compatibility?

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW.

My Quora post on why I am still single-Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

For a long time I wanted to write an answer to this question but was hesitant. Finally I have picked up the strength to write. Please find my profile below:

Age: 36

Qualification: Dual Masters in Management

Designation: Manager-Human Resources in a reputed Organization

CTC: The best as per industry norms

Then why I am I still single? Because I am an adult orphan! Don;t have parents or any other family support (lost my parents at a young age). A self made man who has achieved everything on his own (not boasting about it). Unfortunately in our society a man , his character and image is defined by by his family background and not by his individuality.

Most of my late teens and 20’s have been spent on getting a decent education and building a career. I started looking out for marriage in my late 20’s but it never materialized. I have shared by own experiences on finding a suitable match on matrimonial websites. You can search my answer by going through my profile.

Society does not consider me as a marriage material as I am an adult orphan. With no family background, no one would consider me, certainly not the people who state they come form a decent, respectable and reputed families and are equally looking for guys belonging from a respectable family. The moment people realize that I have no family background, they back out. In my case to cut the long story short, due to family conflicts my extended family does not want to support me. I guess over the years we have become distant and drifted apart.

PRAGMATIC AND STOICAL ATTITUDE

At 19 when a major tragedy occurs in someones life, he/she has to mature overnight and take responsibilities.The same happened with me. Over the years I have developed an attitude towards life filled with pragmatic stoicism. Some people find my behavior to be negative, cynical and pessimistic which is not the case. There is nothing wrong is being positive but one can certainly not live in a Utopian world filled with fantasy. Unfortunately I come across a majority that is still living in the world of Bollywood films.

At 36, I myself don’t have any high expectations form a future partner. I just want a simple homely woman who can be by companion cum best friend. My demands are normal. I don’t expect any dowry or a lavish wedding ceremony, just a court marriage or marriage in a temple. Having a middle class mentality , I can provide a comfortable living to my spouse.

I am blunt and straight forward to the point when I state my expectations to potential interests. In a world filled with people who speak sweet and sugar coated lies, my blunt reality often sounds acerbic.

I refuse to compromise on certain things when it comes to marriage. I don’t prefer divorcees, single mothers and left over women (women whom no one wants to marry). Considering my own background some people have told me that I should have an open mind and broaden my options. Why? I am not a divorcee. I am not a single father. I am not a left over man. I don’t want to marry a woman who is desperate just because her biological clock is ticking or there is a peer/society pressure one her to get married.

Being an adult orphan, I am often taken for granted. There are some families who just want to dump their daughters/sisters on me and wash away their responsibilities. Yes there are such people and they exist on both sides (males and females). A woman post 30 not able to get married even after repeated efforts does bring frustrations on the family.

I often get referred to divorcees.Now I don’t have a problem with that but the cautious person within me makes me ask the female divorce and her parents that they show me the copy of the divorce decree from her first marriage. And then it is BINGO! They back out. Some find it offensive that I asked for a divorce decree. Now in times of false dowry and domestic violence cases filled by our empowered women, I tread a cautious path. And then most of the divorcees that I have met seem to be a depressed and dejected lot. Looks like they have still not come out of their divorce.

I chose not to marry a single mother no matter how good she may be. I have no interest in playing the role of a step father or being a financial support system cum ATM card for THE PROUD SINGLE MOTHER. Seems like these single moms only want a man with no children. They won’t marry a single father or a elder man. The last thing I want is to have a step child treat me like an unwanted piece of trash,

I strongly refuse to play by the rules of the girl and her parents. Some people think that they can mold/change me so that I live my life as my their terms and conditions and meet their expectations. I don’t entertain unwanted and unsolicited advice on how I should change my lifestyle just because it suits the requirement of the girl and her parents.

I don’t understand why I should relocate to the girl’s hometown. WHY? As per the Indian custom , it is the girl who should be relocating to the husband’s place and not vice versa. I am not aiming for a career oriented woman who wants to climb the corporate ladder or is in the IT industry hence finds it difficult to relocate. A woman doing a normal job can always find a new one a new place or she can chose not to work. Now if some parents are so concerned about their daughter’s safety (unwilling to relocate), then they should consider a man from their city itself.

At 36, I am a mature adult and prefer to speak to a woman above 30 in a one to one conversation. But that does not happen. In 90 percent of the cases, it is either the parents of siblings who converse with me.If after crossing 30 a woman is not confident to initiate a conversation what is the point? It seems that all these single independent confident women develop some sort of cold feet. Even if the daughter is 32–35 years old her parents will talk to you as if she was a 20 year old novice girl. Seriously!!!! C’mon dude! Accept the fact that your daughter is a grown up mature women and not a little girl anymore.

Being an independent self made man, I do expect an woman with an independent thinking mature enough to take her own life decisions and is street smart. This does not mean that one should be highly educated as I have come across such highly educated women who are jobless dumb retards.I am yet to come across a strong willed woman who has a humble feminine grace. Women often complain that they come across 30 plus Indian men who are immature, childish, pampered mamma’s boys but take it from me there are equally the same number of thirty plus women who still behave like teenagers living in a fantasy world, spoilt and pampered daddy’s princesses who cannot face the challenges of real life.

I don’t believe in hookups, affairs and one night stands. I am not a playboy or a Casanova. I don;t believe in chasing young girls. I can;t develop physical intimacy with woman unless I have a strong emotional connection with her.

At 36 I am still a virgin and not embarrassed about it. Some men advise me to visit a brothel or go to to Thailand for sex tourism. Indian brothels are filthy and there is a high chance of getting infected with STDs. I don’t believe in wasting my hard of money on such things.

I don’t own a property and am currently living on rent. Marriage alliances only wants a guy who has his own apartment. I fail to understand this logic. Living on rent is far more cheaper than buying a flat that adds a monthly burden of EMI’s. I intend to buy a flat when I decide to shift to a place when I feel I can spend the rest of my life, Living in a rented apartment is not a disgrace.

I have the personality of a sigma male. While I don’t have a dominating nature, I believe that in a relationship the man should have an upper hand.This does not mean that the woman should be subdued. Many important decisions can be taken through joint consensus. I don’t like being dominated or being taken for granted.I can’t be like today’s beta Indian husbands who suck up to their wives and play the role of a second fiddle/cum pet dog to their wives, they typical manginas.

So this is why I am single and believe me , I am not alone or lonely because for the last 12 years I have have the support of this woman (pic below)

She came in my life as a friend and has now become my sister, mentor, mother, parent and guardian angel. She has played a crucial role in my growth and development. She represents on my behalf as a family member and not only her, her husband , sister and parents collectively play the role of a family.

Sadly our narrow minded society does not understand or accept this.People fail to see that there is something beyond blood/family relations.Bonds of friendship are stronger than blood relations.People don’t understand the concept of foster families and I don’t need to explain myself.

Mind you, this is not a rant of frustration or a desperate cry to seek sympathy or validation from anyone.

And if there is any like minded person who wishes to associate with me, please feel free to message me.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth

Inspirational videos on living a meaningful single life: Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man and Indian MGTOW would like to share two inspiring videos that he come across on you tube. Hope you will like it:

I hope you would have found these vidoes inspiring.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

A heretic in the world of believers and confirmists-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM

In a world filled with believers and conformists, unmarried single men like me  stand out to be seen as heretics,non conformists and apostates. Our problem is that we refuse to confirm to the rules of the society. We chose to live a life of our own cherishing our independence and solitude. 

We are heretics because as single men we are a minority in a society filled with married people having families.Some of us have happily chosen a solo life and we are living it 100 percent. Our happiness stands out and we become a pain for others. Remember those ancient times when kingdoms used to put God above everything and all subjects were expected to rever the almighty God. Those who rejected the god were branded as heretics and persecuted, some kingdoms showed liniecy and banished or exiled the heretics from the kingdom. This is exactly what is happening today.The single Indian men are being seen as heretics and are facing a similar kind of discrimination.

We need to stand up for ourselves and not give in to the demands of the society. Marriage is a second religion in India and everyone is expected to follow it. But I don't. I have no faith in an institution that is purely formed on the platform of materialistic requirements. Yes and like many single Indian men , I too am a heretic,non believer and non conformist.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing of for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth 

Indian MGTOW

Why do some people never go back to their dysfunctional families after leaving them-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man talks from the perspective of many Indian men who haveleft their dysfunctional families for good and will never go back to them.I will write on the reasons, the challenges and what holds them back from their own families.

In the Indian society, family is the single most important institution where people find social, emotional and moral support.Fiction and cinema have portrayed the Indian family as the vital source for love, care and affection.The happy Indian family staying together is a ubiquitous thing and everyone dreams of having one.

But what if one does not have that happy family?What if your family consisting of your near and far off relatives are dysfunctional? What if your loved ones are constantly hurting you? What if on any given day your house is filled with melodrama, emotional outbursts and verbal abuses? I guess it is difficult to have one answer to so many complicated questions.

Dysfunctional families in India is something no one wants to discuss. It is a taboo.In a society where parents are equivalent to gods, no criticism can be heard against them. Dysfunctional families are created right from the inception of a marriage.What happens when two individuals who are not emotionally or psychological fit get married? What happens people carrying excessive emotional baggage get married? In India getting married at the right age is of paramount importance, no one looks whether an individual is emotionally capable of handling the challenges associated with a marriage. Indian men who grow up in such dysfunctional families face many challenges.They are denied and deprived of love and affection from the very people who bought them in this world.A small number of men are strong enough to take a decision of walking away from their dysfunctional families.

This moving away does not happen all of a sudden.Once these men enter their teenage years they get to see the world around them that seems to be normal, they meet families who are happy and supportive of their children.Some men are lucky as they get to move out of their homes and go to a new city for the purpose of their education.After the education is over, they take up jobs in metro cities. This  is where they experience true freedom.They finally have a life that seems normal.They meet people who come from normal families and gradually come to a realization of what is wrong in their own homes.

However many Indian men do not give up hope.They take up periodic visits to their homes under the false hopes that one day thing will get normal.This comes as a major disappointment for them.What scenario existed 20 years ago still remains the same:the same fights, the same outbursts and the same old family problem.It seems like nothing has changed in all these years.Additionally many men are seen as disappointments to their own parents. They are not in the profession or the organizations that was expected out of them (comparison with others), their salaries are not in range with what their cousins or neighbor's children are earning.They are still not married or are not getting married to the brides selected by their parents who will fetch them a good dowry.

It is the same old taunts, jibes and criticisms. Nothing had changed in the  past and nothing will change in the future.

When the men realize this, they come to a decision of not going back to their families.Every visit to their dysfunctional families brings distress and depression in their lives.One day you have to make a decision for yourself, your life and your future.So the men decide to stop meeting their dysfunctional families.Relations are maintained over the phone and internet, a glimpse into the other person's life is seen through social media.

People may question my thinking.How can someone leave his parents?Well, sometimes you need to distance yourself from negative and toxic people for your own god.You cannot move ahead in life if you don't shed your emotional baggage.Sometimes it is for a greater good that sane Indian men walk away from their dysfunctional families. The ones who stay back in false hopes and expectations are in for a grave disappointment.The truth is that till one does not take a radical step, a dysfunctional family will reproduce another dysfunctional family and the vicious cycle will keep on being repeated for generations to come.

My writings may have resonated with some Indian men who have had dysfunctional families.If you wish to share your stories in order to spread awareness, then please mail your write ups to me at sheth.bhaveen@gmail.com. Names and identities will be protected.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaeen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

I told my friends, well wishers and colleagues to stop seeking any suitable matches for me. Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

I still don't understand why people get so sad when they hear that I am single and not married. For them it seems that an unmarried man is a sad lonely soul who needs some or the other form of companionship. Many advise that I should get married and settle down. They don't know my reality, do they? So I tell them who I really am and they get a shock of their life. Some feel sad and some get overtly  sympathetic. However they still feel that I should get married and I need a companion (as per them), hence they try to find a suitable match for me.

Over the years my friends and well wishers have tried but there has be no positive outcome. In a sort of a charged enthusiasm, my well wishers approach their contacts and spread the word about me. Sometimes they tend to forget what the opposite side is looking for. I appreciate their help and support but in life one needs to be grounded. Every normal family who wants to get their daughter married is looking for a stable man from a DECENT AND RESPECTABLE family.Now what happens when my profile gets shown to them? Majority will reject and a minority will take their chances. I get to feel like a commodity that is to be tried out by some reluctant customer. Over the years I have spoken and even met women and their parents referred by my friends and well wishers. Nothing worked out. The same story got repeated: The guy has no family, how do we trust him?

My friends and well wishers have also been criticized by the women's families whom they approached for me. They have been told that why did they refer me? Some have disclosed this to me, some have not. I know that they have faced embarrassment for referring my profile.

Eventually I have given up on marriage and have clearly told my friends, well wishers and colleagues to stop looking out for matrimonial alliances for me. It will save a lot of time and prevent trouble.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

Confessions of an Emotionally abused Indian Husband-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

Bhaveen Sheth the writer of this blog "The Diary of a Single Indian male" shares a post from Quora on the condition of an emotionally abused married Indian man. Please read the post below:

I am 26 years old and I just got married to the girl I loved. Eight months into the marriage, I am depressed and on the verge of doing something disastrous but completely silent.

My wife has been an extremely spoilt child even by her own declarations. Every month, she spends a large chunk of the salary on stuff that we eventually throw out in a week or two. If I protest, she threatens to leave me or tells me that I am not a man for not being able to provide ‘basic’ amenities to her. Basic here includes dresses of brands I can’t pronounce and gift items and decorative stuff that we have little place in the house to keep.

I earn decently or that’s what I thought. Every single day, she asks me to do better at my job and earn more money. If I don’t earn more money, then what sort of a man am I? This is what she believes. She texts me constantly when I am working and asks me to come back home as early as possible. That affects work and in turn, the money. But if I have to stay back for longer hours and work harder, we get into fights that last for days. She threatens to kill herself.

She keeps posting feminism based messages on Facebook and is an avowed believer of equality. At home, she tells me that I should take care of the house and see how tough that is. Which is what I have been doing for three months now. I also do all her work at her workplace (she works in accounts and I find the time to do her balance sheets every day). She proudly proclaims to her friends that she works and takes care of the house all by herself, but I know better.

Since my mother is a heart-patient (my father passed away seven years ago), she has told me that ending this marriage will be her end. I must continue.

Every single day, we discuss about where she should go and shop, what she should wear, where I must take her to lighten her mood since the household work makes her miserable. If I express one opinion about where we should eat or what we should do, she tells me please think about me too. It’s not about you all the time. If I tell her that can I bring my mother to take care of her at least for a few days, she tells me ‘I don’t have time for useless people.’ Her family comes over and stays for days on end (which is a decent expense for me that makes things worse later on). If I protest, the threat is there and my mom is told about her son’s incapability. She believes it and reprimands me and asks me to work on myself.

I have stopped protesting, stopped speaking, stopped thinking. If I think and my face twitches, she tells me, ‘what was that? Why did you look at me like that? Are you doing me a favour by being nice to me? Do you know I could have married anybody…’ I sleep after her and wake up before her to prepare her first cup of coffee. I cook on most days since the last three months. ‘I will cook when I feel like. My father has always kept me like a queen. It’s time you did that too.’ I work constantly and barely get time to do anything else. At night, she tells me, ‘I think you are failing as a husband. I think you don’t realize how lucky you are. I hope you grow up and start valuing me.’ This is not a recent happening. I am writing about eight odd months here.

So what sucks about being a man? I cannot express my anger in this situation without being called a wuss. I tried exploring some legal options to end this charade but it won’t end well for me and with my mom undergoing her treatment, I won’t be able to afford it. I have told by my wife that I harass her or that I am like other men that rape women, if I don’t reach home within the time she specifies. She constantly complains about me to her friends, about how much of an idiot I am. She also discusses my sexuality with her friends and proudly tells me about it. Imagine if I did stuff like that? Yet, all that talk passes off as allowable coffee conversation. I can never claim that I cooked something or kept the house clean. No extra points for managing work and the house. But for her, that’s very commendable as she is a woman and has to battle inequality every day. For me, all this stuff must be easy as I am privileged.

I know feminism is a good thing and it is important to win the war for equal rights for women. It is very much the need of the hour. But my battle is lost. I will always smile and pretend things are ok, while I am dying inside.

This is the reality of many married Indian men, however a majority chose to suffer silently throughout their lives. I really feel sad about this person but there is nothing  that I can do. An important lesson learnt from this post is that before marriage every Indian man should thoroughly scrutinize the girl and put his expectations clearly before proceeding for matrimony.Should you ever encounter an over pampered spoilt princess in a prospective then drop it, just drop it from the start, you don't want end up with the life that this married man has shared above.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Kuch bhi ho jaaye , bete ki shaadi to karwa ke chodenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Bhaveen Sheth-The writer of this blog would like to write on the parental obsession that prevails in India to get their sons married.

Translating the heading into english it means that come what may, we will get our son married , by hook or crook.

This is a common statement spoke in almost all families across Indian and even abroad where there is a large Indian diaspora.These families have sons who have now reached a marriageable age.It does not matter if their sons have any major drawbacks or shortcomings.

Since ancient times marriage has been a sacred institution in our country.Getting ones son married has always been a sign of prestige and honour for the family. This behaviour is strongly seen in families across north India.

However things have started to change. A skewed male female ratio, rise in educated and empowered women, growing awareness of women's rights and shortage of brides.Indian society is now at its crossroads,

Earlier in some of my previous blogs I have written on how some Indian men don't stand eligible to get married because of many reasons. They have their own shortcomings that have never been addressed.

Parents know everything about their sons, but instead of addressing and correcting the shortcomings they turn a blind eye and their son is the best and are not willing to hear anything against him.

And what do these parents do? They resolve to cheap tactics like lying, cheating, fraud, fooling, pleading, emotional blackmail and diplomatic coercion in order to get their sons married.

So we have the holiest bond of matrimony made upon the platform of deceit and lies.But we all know that marriage formed on such unethical grounds do not last for long.Either they turn dysfunctional or end up in a bitter separation/divorce.

This is the bitter truth that many parents fails to accept. I just hope that they gain some wisdom in order to save themselves from bitter disappointments.

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Let the married folks live their lives and we will live our own

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer says Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

On and off we the single Indian men become sad when we look at the married folks, There is the perfect family, the perfect wife and the perfect children. OH!!!! The grass is always  green on the other side. 

But that is what life is and one thing that I have learnt is that one should never take anything for granted. The married folks always boast about their marital status and try to put down the singles. However married people have their own set of problems, problems that are different from what we single people encounter. Hence you should never compare yourself with married people.

Let them (the married folks) live their lives, let them raise families and do what they want. We the single men should go ahead living our lives. We need to build our experience and do things that normal people are not able to do. Yes, we can do it. Single hood comes with a lot of freedom and independence. We need to develop memoirs that will be cherished over our lifetimes. 

Go ahead, define and assert you individuality and live your life. Give your best shot and never get disheartened.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-Not the fault of the single Indian men

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer of would like to claim innocence for single Indian man

Yes my dear friends, hold your words and keep your tongues under control before you pass loose comments on an Indian man who is living a single life. Many men in Indian have started living alone out of choice and destiny and in majority cases it is just not their fault.

It is not his fault that he grew up in a dysfunctional family and one day decided to leave such a toxic family in search of a happy life.

It is not his fault that his family separated at a very young age and he had to witness a bitter divorce battle fought out in the courts. The very impact of a broken family portrayed a negative image about marriage and he decided to remain happily single ever after.

It is not his fault that he lost his parents and was orphaned at a young age.

It is not his fault because his girlfriend whom he loved dearly betrayed and married someone else.

It is not his fault that his dear wife asked for a divorce and took huge amount from him in the name of alimony.

It is not his fault that he has read, studied and researched on more that 15 plus anti male laws in this country and convinced himself that marriage is an expensive proposition.

So , to the people of this disgusting, hypocrite Indian society, before you pass your third class and third rate comments on single Indian men , especially blaming them for living a single life, I kindly request you to think twice.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day. Will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth-What does it mean to be a MAN in India

In India, one often gets to read news on the condition of women and how they are discriminated. Stories of their exploitation and ill treatment make it to the front pages of our leading newspapers.However no one is willing to give any consideration to the condition of the common Indian man. It seems that men have become the forgotten or neglected gender in India.

So my dear friends, in a few points below, I would like to enumerate on what does it mean to be a man in India.Please go through the same:

Being a man means that since childhood you will be showered with unnecessary level of affection and love that you don't want or require.

Your physical characteristics will always be compared with other from the time you come in this world.

In many families, the male child becomes the surrogate husband to his mother.

You have to start proving your worth from the time you enter kinder-garden.

Your marks at school define who and what you are, not your individuality.

You are required to be strong and powerful. Crying is not an option.

You become the prized trophy for your parents who love to display you in front of other.

It you and only you who will bear the responsibility of carrying the family name and legacy ahead.

You cannot choose a a career and vocation of your own choice or interest;it is your parents who will decide it.

Your teenage years are filled with misery and tension as you will have to go trough your SSC, HSC and other competitive exams.

You are not given the freedom to develop your own individuality.

Your 20's are filled with an emotional roller coaster ride where you are expected to complete your education, get a good job, that too with a high pay and get married. PHEW!!!

You are expected to have a child within two years of marriage.

No matter how old you get , your parents retain control over you.

You are supposed to be the beast of burden and undertake responsibilities on behalf of all your family members.

You are required to keep everyone happy at the cost of your own happiness.

In order to get married you are supposed to have your own house, preferable a 2 BHK and a fat bank balance.

Not getting married or delaying your married is not an option.

You are forced to follow the norms of the Indian society no matter how pathetic they are.

You constantly live under the fear of EMI's and home loans combined with the threat of loosing your job.

If you happen to live for your self ,the society will make you feel guilty for doing the same.

Remaining a bachelor will automatically make you an outcast within you own society.

You have to get used to all kinds of anti-male, female biased laws in this country.

Taking a divorce from your wife will make you go through an acrimonious legal battle.

You have to get used to the feminist terrorism.

You may end up living a dull, boring and mediocre life.

The checklist for a sensationally satisfied single Indian man

Making your own personal schedule and coming and going as you please.

To cook what you like and eat when you choose.

To travel across the length and breadth of this country.

To live peacefully in a modest apartment registered in your name.

To listen to the music of your choice.

To catch up with your long lost friends when you desire.

Provide all kinds of pleasures to yourself, sexual or otherwise.

Not having anyone to argue with.

Feeling emotionally safer in being solo.

Not having to give up on all that growth and change that you have experienced over the years.

To celebrate the person that you have become and not wanting to loose him.

To have no worries of being emotionally abused.

To flirt without repercussion.

To have pretty low maintenance and quality lifestyle.

To keep yourself entertained at all time.

To avoid having an emotional roller coaster ride that many married couples go through.

To accept the fact, sometimes with happiness and sometimes with stoicism, that with or without a partner life is great.