Monday, March 31, 2014

On men who dishonour the family name

A lot has happened to women in India who have allegedly "dishonored" the family name. They have been murdered in the most gruesome fashion and some have been brutally gang raped. And for what?? Did they break the law??? Did they do something that was wrong???? NO!!!!!

All they did was to live their lives, to indulge in sex, to marry a person who did not belong to their community or for just roaming around with a guy. Is it wrong???? Which law in India stops a person from doing  things that I have mentioned??? Is is a crime to seek love??? Is it a crime to fulfill your carnal desires??? If men have desires so do women??? Why then such a deplorable attitude towards the fairer sex.

And what , what about guys who dishonor the family name?? What about them?? Are they killed or murdered in the manner that girls are??? Are they chopped into pieces??? Are they sodomized by a gang????? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After all they are  boys,  and boys will be boys for the traditional narrow minded patriarchal society!!!!!!!

In this post I would like to share my thoughts on how men in India bring dishonor to the family name, on how their actions can cause a lot of grief and anguish to a lot of families.



Men who keep on pursuing careers like acting and singing and fail to make a mark

Bollywood, Media and the entertainment industry. It attracts a lot of youngsters from all over the country. Men are among st them. Many are bitten by the bug of limelight and becoming famous. They keep on slogging, often for years waiting for that break to come. Sometimes it does and many a times it does not. The best years of life go by and nothing happens, yet such men do not understand the reality. Their career has gone for a toss, parents are worried, the future is bleak, but no,  all they want is that break. Nothing happens and one fine day they become old, they try their best to survive doing odd jobs. At the end there is nothing for them to look forward to. The society dubs them to be failures.

Men who fail to complete their graduation

These men fail to complete their basic education. It can be anything ranging from a basic graduation to a professional medical or engineering degree. The exact reason is never known. There are times when parents have pushed them to pursue such a course or may be they have taken it up out of their own liking but later realized their incompetency for the same. It happens, we all make mistakes in life, but the problem is that these men do not rectify it. As mentioned above in the previous point, years go by, nothing happens, money and effort is wasted. Parents as usual are anguished. Finally the person pulls out and gets depressed and does nothing further. The dreams and ambitions of the parents are crushed.

Men who remain permanently unemployed or fail to keep a job

There is no shortage of unemployed men in India. In any metro or town , go around and you will come across scores of unemployed men willing away their time, sitting idle and doing nothing. They may have a degree but have minimum employ-ability skills. Their ego's are so high that they will not take up a low level entry position / job. They want managerial positions and just like struggling actors and singer they keep on waiting for that big break to come in their life. However it does not happen. Some men even find a suitable employment but for some reason or the other they are not able to retain the job. Their arrogance is too high, their tolerance levels are too low, they do not follow the disciplinary rules laid down by the organization, they fail to get along with their bosses, peers and subordinates. At the end they get fired from each and every job they take up, leaving them unemployed.

Men who are addicted to alcohol and narcotic drugs

From all levels of society , addiction to alcohol and drugs is picking up very quickly. What starts as a recreation ends up to be a serious addiction. We all know what happens further, they loose their jobs, become anti-social, criminal minded, health deteriorates, bankruptcy follows sooner or later.

Men who commit gruesome crimes

The scope of the above heading is wide. I am not saying about a minor fight or traffic violation. I am talking on activities like committing robberies to fulfill your expensive tastes for a finer life, raping and gang raping, murdering, drinking alcohol and running down pedestrians under an SUV or personal car. Does this not amount to gruesome crimes?? And what happens next??? Arrests, judicial custody, bail, visit to courts, bribing police officers and paying a huge sum to the lawyers???? Is there something more that I should say on dishonor????

Men who become terrible husbands and miserable fathers

No one knows what happens behind closed doors of the Indian society. Marriages happen and life starts but not on a good note. I talk on the violent husbands who beat their wives, I speak on terrible husbands who treat their wives as personal slaves, I speak on husbands who are filthy misers, I mention on husbands who have the worst form of sexual desires in their mind and try it out on their wives, I speak on men who become abusive fathers, both sexual and physical, I speak on men who are pedophiles and abuse the children of near and far relatives during social functions or family visits. Yes sir/madam there are many men out there who are hiding behind their much accepted social status of being married.

And what about these men, don't they bring dishonor to their families????? They fail to make a career, they fail complete their graduation, they fail to keep up a job or find a vocation, they fail to live like a normal law abiding person, they fail to become a responsible husband and father. Yes, they fail!!!!!! What about the parents of such men??Do they ever realize what their parents have to go through???? Do they know that every single day their parents have to listen to the acidic comments and taunts of the Indian society??? Do they know of the mental and emotions grief they have put their parents through???

No they don't.!!!! And again no matter what they do their parents are all there to support them, many a times it is the parents who fail to counsel or correct them. Son's are the prized possession within the family!!!! Isn't it?????

But death and abandonment goes to the women who bring dishonor!!!! And I ask this one question??? Who actually will remember 2 years down the line that this girl had a boyfriend once upon a time??? Who actually will remember that this girl married someone outside her caste or community???? No one!!!! People tend to forget!!! A lot of things are happening in our country at this moment. Do we even remember what happened last week??? No!!!

So as the Single Indian Male , all I can say is that men bring dishonor and that too a magnanimous one, the effects of which can be felt for decades that follow.

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