A rising trend of forced bachelorhood in India

My dear single Indian men,

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, you may even call be an uncle of solace for you. While searching for topics on single Indian men over the internet, I cam across the following title:

Forced bachelorhood for 4.12 crore men in country as brides go missing

You can read the full article in the below mentioned link

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Forced-bachelorhood-for-4-12-crore-men-in-country-as-brides-go-missing/articleshow/46999330.cms

While it primarily focuses on the state of Uttar Pradesh, one of the worst north Indian badlands, it does reveal an alarming trend across India. More and more men are not getting and married and are forced to live the life of a bachelor.

I would like to share some snippets from the article:

The gap explains why Amit Dwivedi, a 39 year old cardiac surgeon, from city's Gomtinagar area, serving in the Indian Army Medical services has not been able to find a suitable match. "Like most profiles on a matrimony website, caste-minded Dwivedi wants the bride to a perfect person but is unaware that he doesn't have a choice," quips Shrisha Singh, who works against sex-selective abortions in UP.

Wow!!!!! This guy is 39 and still wants someone from his caste.

Match-maker GS Kapoor shared that he comes across unmarried eligible young men born in the early 1970s. "Some of them have in fact compromised over the years on caste and community as well but to no avail. The subtle rise in number of anti-dowry families is more due to 'unavailability of brides' than any consciousness," he said adding, "young men have been forced to live a loner's life because the previous generation was extremely biased towards daughters."

Okay, one more finding,  men have compromised over caste, age and community but no avail!!!

Why is living a loner's life considered to be a curse ? Is it wrong to live a single life and explore new avenues.

I clearly state that these men are to some extent responsible for their own miserable lives. They don't change their mindset. They remain who they are and expect their parents and relatives to find them a soul mate.

But this trend is alarming. Because such men are a threat to the society. These men are the left out or have nots of the Indian society. And unlike the enlightened urban single male who knows how to spend his time in a qualitative manner, these men don't know what to do. They often get weird ideas of rape and molestation as they consider the womenfolk to be their enemies because no one became their wives. And if that were not the case these men spend all their time in watching pornography, drinking alcohol and doing drugs. The sad part is that these men think that marriage and marriage only is a solution to all their problems.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more

A common Indian man's answer to the feminist brigade of India

Open magazine published an article  titled as "An open letter to the Indian man" Its content was filled with misandry. Please see the link below:

http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/voices/an-open-letter-to-the-indian-man

One common Indian man has written a brilliant answer to the write. Please read the same below:


Respected Ma'am (Ms Tishani Doshi),

How are we men going to even be able to HIGHLIGHT our genuine issues & difficulties, when MOST of the feminists, media, governments, etc, accuse us of being misogynists, mansplainers, violation apologists, etc, when we do so?

The first time I ever heard about your name, was when I was in Class XI in school, in one of the chapters of NCERT English textbook, that dealt with your experiences of the journey to the continent of Antarctica. I am also an avid reader of your articles that appear in the Magazine issues of The New Sunday Express publication of The New Indian Express.

I am an ordinary guy who has been researching on gender issues for the past few years, on the media & the internet. I read a lot of newspapers, magazines and books; & also watch TV shows & movies. I have browsed through several misogynist & misandric websites on the internet. I, personally, consider myself to be an ''Egalitarian'' or ''Equalist'', and I genuinely understand that there are both good & bad things in modern feminism movements.

Ma'am, with all due respect, I understand the genuine difficulties that women & girls have faced throughout history. I also understand some of the genuine difficulties that even men & boys have faced throughout history. I don't want to sound myself like a conspiracy theorist, but it is true that our modern world has been under the oppressive control of powerful people, global elites, governments, corporations, etc, since a few hundred years ago, and it still continues to happen.

Yes, although mostly men have been (& somewhat continue to be) in powerful political positions (with some exceptions & uncertain futures), most modern men & boys of this world (particularly those from the middle-class, working-class & poor categories) are NOT in positions of privilege, power, economic richness, leaderships, & so on. Of course, women & girls DESERVE to be properly empowered, helped, funded, resourced & so on, but NOT at the cost of innocent men & boys of this world! Both discriminations AND reverse-discriminations are bad.

Yes, most of the violent crimes such as murders, killings, etc, are usually committed by men. BUT, at the same time, MOST of the victims of violence are also men & boys. Even then, I sincerely hope (& the governments & societies are doing their best also) to empower women & girls in almost all spheres of life & works, including STEM, Sports, Media, Businesses, Politics, Entrepreneurships, Medicine, Healthcare, & so on. Moreover, women & girls should also be protected from sexual issues & violence. But again, NOT at the costs of innocent men & boys of this world. In the above-mentioned fields, the payments should be equal & the representations should be 50:50. It should be considered EQUALLY wrong if women earn MORE or dominate.

However, there is a need to understand that not all men & boys are privileged. Human males are still considered to be disposable, by society & governments, because they don't have wombs, and hence, can't give birth to continue the species. Also, there are SEVERAL fields of highly-paying professions, works & industries, that are heavily female-dominated; where men & boys are drastically under represented & under-paid. Some of them are as follows: Fashion, Modelling, Arts, Culture, Dancing, Glamour, Media, Cosmetics, Anime, Gymnastics, Yoga, Travel, Living, Lifestyles, Advertisements, Commercials, Television Shows, Soap Operas, Pornography, Social Media, Theatre, Performing Arts, & so on!

Moreover, MOST of the visual & vocal media fields are dominated by women & girls; proofs of which are in the newspapers, TV channels, magazines, ads, commercials, social media websites, internet, etc, wherein MOST of the videos, photos, images, etc, are of MOSTLY women & girls. Also, women & girls are viewed, liked, followed, tagged, etc, much, much more than men & boys, which results in MUCH more ads & revenues for female bloggers, writers, authors, uploaders, models, actresses, content producers, & so on.

On top of these things, we have SO MANY women-only & girls-only schools, colleges, scholarships, funding, social programs, NGOs, NPOs, Government facilities, gyms, clubs, bars, sports clubs, special loans, special entrepreneurship grants, financial facilities, taxis, kiosks, rooms, toilets, hotels, travelling & tourism facilities, education programs, fashion shows, modelling ventures, dancing schools, gymnastics schools, yoga centers, & so on. Just by doing simple search on Google, we can see HUGE NUMBERS of search results for female-only facilities, while little or nothing for male-only facilities.

Also, a LOT of feminist people & groups HEAVILY support genocides against human males, male population reductions, castrations, emasculations, abortions of only male fetuses, violence only against men & boys, & so on. I don't want to unnecessarily take names of those people or groups, but they are there. Things like males should be 10% of the human population, to International Castration Day, to #killallmen campaigns on Twitter, Femitheist Divine groups, & so on, are planning doing EXACTLY what radical groups throughout history (like Nazis, fascists, etc), have done.

Since the inception of humankind & human species on this planet, almost ALL the categories of poor, working-class, homeless, diseased, middle-class, disabled, etc, kinds of people (irrespective of gender), were HEAVILY oppressed. Plus, due to lack of modern advancements in sciences & technologies, coupled with heavy influences of religions, myths, superstitions, beliefs, etc, women & girls, ALONG with men and boys, were oppressed, denied rights, abused, harmed, etc, in DIFFERENT ways. Throughout history, MOSTLY men have died fighting wars, building civilizations, developing infrastructures, cities, buildings, electricity, & so on, since CENTURIES, so that our modern & future generations could live comfortably. Throughout history, most societies were slightly more male-dominated & patriarchal, PRIMARILY because human beings had not developed advanced sciences & technologies during those times. And since women & girls were somewhat physically less strong, coupled with their complicated reproductive issues (pregnancy, menstruation, etc), men & boys had to ''get out & do work'' more often. That's why, most of the scientific inventions, discoveries, researches, developments, civilizations, constructions, arts, literature, etc, were done by men. Throughout history, MOSTLY men have died defending our countries' borders, so that the people could be protected & safe enough to live comfortably. Due to lack of advanced sciences & technologies, COUPLED with the facts that women & girls had complicated reproductive systems, men & boys were FORCED to get EDUCATED, work hard, fight wars, sacrifice their lives, PROVIDE for their families & children, and so on, while women & girls were kept almost COMFORTABLE & PROTECTED in their homes, areas, nations, buildings, countries, and so on. Throughout history, almost ALL nations, national icons, goddesses, flags, etc, have been FEMALE, with references to motherlands, female icons, liberty, justice, freedom, laws, etc, almost ALL being related & referenced to MOSTLY females. Throughout history, MOSTLY men & boys have been killed due to murders, suicides, homicides, wars, battles, protests, revolutions, diseases, & so on. Throughout history, MOSTLY men & boys were FORCED to work in inhuman working conditions, doing DANGEROUS jobs in factories, heavy industries, mining, laborious jobs, construction jobs, hazardous chemical jobs, & several more. And they even continue to do so, during these modern times. Throughout history, property was passed through men, because men were NOT considered worthy of EVEN LIVING, without having properties & resources. Throughout history (& even today), ONLY men were (& are) considered to be disposable (due to lack of wombs to continue the species), and therefore, were FORCED to die in wars, sinking ships, doing dangerous & hazardous jobs, etc. Throughout history, ONLY women & girls were considered worthy of love, affection, romance, emotions, etc, and were HEAVILY protected by men & their families. With regards to abortion of female fetuses in patriarchal countries, yes, unfortunately some parts of those things were (& are true), but in the modern world, even MALE FETUSES are also being aborted in several countries. Humans have unlocked advanced scientific technologies, ONLY RECENTLY. THAT IS WHY, women & girls have been empowered properly. Earlier, MOSTLY men were the machines, workers, sufferers, sacrificers, disabled, & so on. Even today, the trends & attitudes towards men & boys have NOT changed AT ALL.

Then you have things like radical feminism, lesbian separatism, etc, that focus ONLY on destroying the lives of men & boys. Moreover, you have almost ALL forms of media, news, books, magazines, newspapers, internet, etc, including SEVERAL internet websites, like The Atlantic, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, Salon, Slate, Mother Jones, Business Insider, BBC, CNN, The Independent, NY times, NY Daily News, Yahoo!, TIME, etc, that preach, nearly EVERY SINGLE DAY, the following kinds of things:-

The End Of Men; Are Fathers Necessary; Are Men Necessary; Are all men rapists after all; The New World Order; Imagine Matriarchy; Girls Outperform boys in schools, colleges & education systems; Women are better leaders; Women are stronger; Women are better CEOs; Women can do everything, but men can't do anything; Women are more natural; Women are the fairer sex; Women are better at multitasking; Women have more efficient brains; Women are the superior sex; Women are more peaceful; Women can't do anything wrong; I bathe in male tears; Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them; Men are the new ball & chain; Women earning more money than men is FAIR; women are better listeners; women can do everything, while men can't do anything; etc, etc, etc, & SO ON. How modern men & boys going to even SURVIVE are based on these kinds of depressing, shameful, derogative & illogical forms of media & social propaganda?

PLUS, male worship of gods is considered to be extremely sexist, BUT the HUGE amounts of female worships of Indian goddesses, mothers, kanya pujans, navrathris, etc, is NOT considered to be sexist AT ALL! Also, on a side note, it's not healthy to play the ''womb privilege card'' by referring to ALL women to first consider themselves before their sons. It's extremely damaging & discriminatory to do that. They should consider both themselves, and their offspring, EQUALLY, provided that they are healthy, law-abiding citizens, of course.

Now, you will call me a misogynist for pointing these out. But, to be honest, I have nothing against women & girls achieving their dreams; earning lots of wealth & resources; getting credited & recognized for their achievements, becoming leaders, & so on. My only concern, is that, we should be empowering ALL people, irrespective of their gender or sociological & economic backgrounds, by moving on from the bad things that have happened in the past, rather than unnecessarily carrying out various forms of REVERSE-DISCRIMINATIONS against innocent men & boys of this world.

Thank you ma'am, for reading this comment.

Marriage and family-hood is a burden dumped on the Indian man

People reading this blog will call me a pessimist and a hater of the Indian society. I give a damn.

The truth is that marriage as an Institution is dumped upon the Indian man. If Indian women are forced into matrimony, so are Indian men.While women openly cry on their miserable conditions, men swallow it with stoicism and go on living their lives and doing their work.

In the Indian society before a man is able to prove his worth professionally, he is tied with the shackles of marriage.It is his biological age and not his emotional maturity that determines marriage.

Thus begins a vicious cycle. Marriage, wife, children, family and problems.The liberated class may state that marriage is now being postponed by men and many men are getting married in the later years of their lives.Please spare me the rhetoric. the above statement applies to the globe trotting  rich and upper middle class Indians.They don't count as a majority, they are best treated as outliers.

Majority men in India rarely explore themselves.By the time they are 25 years old , a frantic search for a beautiful, good looking bride starts.Parents and relatives don't even give a thought at the son's career or future growth.Many men have still not gained the emotional maturity required to handle the responsibilities of a married life.Many have just recently taken up their first step in their careers.There are a lot of uncertainties lying ahead.One needs to establish a firm grip over his job and career.But in a society that lives on fake happiness, rationality and pragmatism has always become a casualty.A man with practical thoughts is considered to be a fool and dismissed as a cynic.

HUM KYAA CHAHTE HAI!! AZAADI !!!!!!!

HUM KYAA CHAHTE HAI , AZAADI, AZAADI, AZAADI!!!!! WHAT WE WANT IS FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM!!!!!!!!

This was the slogan used by the Kashimiris in the late 80's and the 90's when they wanted freedom from India. This slogan is still  active in the Kashmir valley even today.

It may not have any meaning for the majority of the mainland Indian citizens like us, but for many Indian men it is a statement calling for freedom and liberation from the bonds of the Indian society , from the shackles of patriarchy.

Yes,  many Indian men too want AZAADI, not the AZAADI that the rich urban Indian kids have but the AZAADI to live your live on your own terms.

We want AZAADI. 

AZAADI from the bullshit double standards of the Indian society.

AZAADI to live a single Independent life.

AZAADI from being a provider and caretaker.

AZAADI from the unnecessary responsibilities put on our shoulders just because we are men.

AZAADI to choose the career and professions that we want.

AZAADI to be single or get married

AZAADI to marry the woman of our choice.

AZAADI to relocate to a place where we feel comfortable.

AZAADI to do what we want, when we want and how we want.

AZAADI to have multiple partners in our lives.

AZAADI of not having to carry the family name.

AZAADI from the anti-male and female biased laws in this country.

AZAADI from being the walking stick of the elderly.

AZAADI from the constant criticisms that we face because of the way we live.

AZAADI from the taunts and emotional abused we face at the hands of the Indian women.

AZAADI to go to a sex worker/prostitute without facing a backlash.

AZAADI to travel solo.

AZAADI to  splurge on ourselves without feeling guilty.

AZAADI to pursue our hobbies and interests.

AZAADI to love and be loved without terms and conditions.

AZAADI from being the beast of burden.

We the Indian men also want this AZAADI/ FREEDOM. I, Bhaveen Sheth openly protests at the Indian society that put restrictions on the freedom of Indian men. I, Bhaveen Sheth openly protests and put it down in writing.