Why do so many distressed married men and divorced/separated Indian men commit suicide: Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Now that I am extremely comfortable with my MGTOW lifestyle, I try to look into a very interesting and neglected fact of our society on the reasons why so may married and divorced Indian men commit suicide in India. 

A normal web search on google throws up the following links:

Times of India:

Married men twice as likely to commit suicide than married w ..

Read more at:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/48220552.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst

Daman:

NCRB – Suicides: India Lost 97613 sons in 2019

https://www.daaman.org/post/ncrb-suicides-india-lost-97613-sons-in-2019

The Wire:

Reporter's Diary: Looking At Male Suicides in India

https://thewire.in/culture/reporters-diary-male-suicides-india

Scroll:

Married men are most likely to commit suicide in India

https://scroll.in/article/669061/married-men-are-most-likely-to-commit-suicide-in-india

If one actually goes through these articles,  all of them other than Daman (Men's Rights Website) puts the blame on patriarchy, toxic masculinity and mental health problems of men. Most of these media portals are runs by feminist and feminazi groups that have just have an agenda to spread a false narrative.

Blaming men for all problems is a time and tested tactic of the media. We all saw what happened in Sushant Singh Rajput murder case during the initial days when the left liberal media was shouting on mental health issues and how the same had afflicted Sushant Singh Rajput. Today the story has taken a different turn. However I don't want to shift focus on my topic, so let us discuss it.

In my opinion most of the Indian men have put the institution of  marriage on a pedestal. Most of these men live in a delusional world thinking that they will get the world's most loving and caring women not to mention beautiful.The aspiration for a wonderful married life starts when a man is his late teens. Relentless brainwashing through Bollywood movies and the society conditions most of the Indian men to live in a dream world wherein they loose focus with the ground reality.

Even in today's times of of Hoe and Thot culture, the men expect to have a holy than thou sacred wife who is pure. Yes such women do exist but they are a minority. The most....... well you all know what the truth is. 

Most of Indian men struggle and work extremely hard in order to achieve a good education and job, the single most important requirement to live a decent and respectable life in India. This is also a ticket to become an eligible bachelor in India's matrimonial aka MEAT market. After all an Indian is just worth of his annual CTC and sum total of his assets.

Haven't we heard the wisdom given by our elders "If you don't study and get a job, you will not get a wife and will remain unmarried" HAHAHHAA. I really laugh at this statement. But jokes apart, most men who have started on a successful career path think that they will get married and live a happy life ever after. No one really thinks what would happen if the marriage fails and things don't work out.

So here is what actually happens. Once the ceremonies are completed, the honeymoon is over and the couple gets back to their daily lives, the reality sets in and it hits extremely hard. The wife states that she did not want to marry the man in the first place, did it due to parental pressure and society, there is a boyfriend/lover from the past who comes from nowhere and the affair starts, the wife's parents interfere a lot trying to extract their pound of flesh from the groom, the husband isforced to fulfill the expensive demands of the wife that forces him to take EMI's, Car Loans and Home loans, many husbands go through a repetitive  never ending cycle of emotional abuse from their wives that destroys their self esteem. Things don't  stabilize even after having a child, the problems multiply exponentially.

And then the  tragedy strikes. The wife and her parents go to the police and the courts leveling all kinds of fake allegations against the husband. I guess this is the last nail in the coffin or the last straw that breaks the husband's back. The man and his family are declared  criminals just because they did not accede to the demands of the wife and her parents. Later the court cases take the toll on the man where he is shamed and has to face ignominy. Divorce cases end up in settlement wherein lakhs of rupees are paid as a one time separation cost, in some cases monthly alimony and child support is also paid. Many women alienate their children from their biological father. The father yearns to meet the child and yet he is denied basic visitation rights. Imagine what a man would go through if he is not able to meet and love his own child?

As humans we all get betrayed, sometimes by out neighbors, sometimes colleagues and even our friends but that is part and parcel of our lives, people change as per situations. However it is difficult for men when their own wives betray them, when they taunt and abuse them, when they file false criminal charges against them, when they take away their son/daughter and do not allow the men to meet their children. I guess this is what breaks them mentally and emotionally and then they decide to end their lives.

It should be noted that in the current era it is foolish to have expectations from someone and  be emotionally attached. There are evil manipulators all around. Indian men must start thinking rationally and logically. Having sky high expectations from a marriage is like making your own path for destruction. It is time that Indian men start realizing that marriage is not really worth the effort, be it financial or emotional. If marriage is solely based based on the job and salary of the man then problems are bound to erupt after marriage. It is time for Indian men to realize that they should not rush into a marriage just because they are at the right age. You can marry anytime you want provided you find an understanding partner. Stop wasting your time and resources after an institution that is based of lies and false promises.

This is my understanding of the reasons why married Indian men commit suicide. 

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Indian men who have been forced to give up on marriage

The single Indian man speaks on many Indian men who have been forced to give up on their dreams of getting married and remain single and celibate for their entire lives.

Forced bachelorhood is now becoming a common thing amongst many single Indian men who are very well in their 30's and 40's. Unlike those single Indian men who have remain single out of choice, these men dream and seriously want to get married but are not able to find any suitable women for marriage.

Blame it on the skewed male female or high expectations of women, these men stand out to lose a lot.

A big percentage of these men belong to middle class and lower middle class families , some may belong to an upper middle class family but still they retain middle class values.

These men are average in their achievements and generally get by in life. They hold basic educational qualifications and have a junior or middle level jobs in organizations. Their salaries can have needs fulfilled but cannot but them luxuries.These men are not independent and stay with their parents.

Every matrimonial alliances they come across have high expectations in terms of salaries, designation, materialistic expectations which these men can't meet. Rejections and disappointments happen repeatedly. This trend continues even when they have crossed into their 30's.

I don't look down on these men. Not everyone is an IIT-IIM professional or a doctor or engineer. Some people are average and they do have the right to exist and make a living. However with the matrimonial markets filled with extremely high demands, expectations and groom comparisons, these men don't stand a chance. It is not that all women are out of their league, many women are of a similar class, unfortunately they want to get married on the next higher level of the financial pyramid. There are innumerable amount of these middle class Indian women who will prefer staying single rather than getting married to men of a similar class.

After constant rejections these men and their families give up on any hope of getting married and stoically accept a single life with a lot of disappointment and disgust. There will a generation of men who were born in their 70's, 80's and even 90's who will have to accept a single life with dejections and rejections.

This is a reality, since no one mentions about this in the mainstream media, I chose to do the same.There is nothing that I can do, however I will be writing two additional posts giving my advice to these single Indian men and their parents and how they need to move and accept this single life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH-INDIAN MGTOW

Confessions of an Emotionally abused Indian Husband-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

Bhaveen Sheth the writer of this blog "The Diary of a Single Indian male" shares a post from Quora on the condition of an emotionally abused married Indian man. Please read the post below:

I am 26 years old and I just got married to the girl I loved. Eight months into the marriage, I am depressed and on the verge of doing something disastrous but completely silent.

My wife has been an extremely spoilt child even by her own declarations. Every month, she spends a large chunk of the salary on stuff that we eventually throw out in a week or two. If I protest, she threatens to leave me or tells me that I am not a man for not being able to provide ‘basic’ amenities to her. Basic here includes dresses of brands I can’t pronounce and gift items and decorative stuff that we have little place in the house to keep.

I earn decently or that’s what I thought. Every single day, she asks me to do better at my job and earn more money. If I don’t earn more money, then what sort of a man am I? This is what she believes. She texts me constantly when I am working and asks me to come back home as early as possible. That affects work and in turn, the money. But if I have to stay back for longer hours and work harder, we get into fights that last for days. She threatens to kill herself.

She keeps posting feminism based messages on Facebook and is an avowed believer of equality. At home, she tells me that I should take care of the house and see how tough that is. Which is what I have been doing for three months now. I also do all her work at her workplace (she works in accounts and I find the time to do her balance sheets every day). She proudly proclaims to her friends that she works and takes care of the house all by herself, but I know better.

Since my mother is a heart-patient (my father passed away seven years ago), she has told me that ending this marriage will be her end. I must continue.

Every single day, we discuss about where she should go and shop, what she should wear, where I must take her to lighten her mood since the household work makes her miserable. If I express one opinion about where we should eat or what we should do, she tells me please think about me too. It’s not about you all the time. If I tell her that can I bring my mother to take care of her at least for a few days, she tells me ‘I don’t have time for useless people.’ Her family comes over and stays for days on end (which is a decent expense for me that makes things worse later on). If I protest, the threat is there and my mom is told about her son’s incapability. She believes it and reprimands me and asks me to work on myself.

I have stopped protesting, stopped speaking, stopped thinking. If I think and my face twitches, she tells me, ‘what was that? Why did you look at me like that? Are you doing me a favour by being nice to me? Do you know I could have married anybody…’ I sleep after her and wake up before her to prepare her first cup of coffee. I cook on most days since the last three months. ‘I will cook when I feel like. My father has always kept me like a queen. It’s time you did that too.’ I work constantly and barely get time to do anything else. At night, she tells me, ‘I think you are failing as a husband. I think you don’t realize how lucky you are. I hope you grow up and start valuing me.’ This is not a recent happening. I am writing about eight odd months here.

So what sucks about being a man? I cannot express my anger in this situation without being called a wuss. I tried exploring some legal options to end this charade but it won’t end well for me and with my mom undergoing her treatment, I won’t be able to afford it. I have told by my wife that I harass her or that I am like other men that rape women, if I don’t reach home within the time she specifies. She constantly complains about me to her friends, about how much of an idiot I am. She also discusses my sexuality with her friends and proudly tells me about it. Imagine if I did stuff like that? Yet, all that talk passes off as allowable coffee conversation. I can never claim that I cooked something or kept the house clean. No extra points for managing work and the house. But for her, that’s very commendable as she is a woman and has to battle inequality every day. For me, all this stuff must be easy as I am privileged.

I know feminism is a good thing and it is important to win the war for equal rights for women. It is very much the need of the hour. But my battle is lost. I will always smile and pretend things are ok, while I am dying inside.

This is the reality of many married Indian men, however a majority chose to suffer silently throughout their lives. I really feel sad about this person but there is nothing  that I can do. An important lesson learnt from this post is that before marriage every Indian man should thoroughly scrutinize the girl and put his expectations clearly before proceeding for matrimony.Should you ever encounter an over pampered spoilt princess in a prospective then drop it, just drop it from the start, you don't want end up with the life that this married man has shared above.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Kyaa Kar Sakti Hai Police? Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

In this short post, the single Indian man would like to share a popular video on you tube of a scene form the  Bollywood movie "GUDDU RANGEELA".

In this video, a police man on an inspector level is threatening suspected robbers on what the police can do against anyone. Have a look below:

In a brilliant acting done by Amit Sial, he shows the reality of the Indian police.All Indian men should watch this video and think, how biased and prejudiced the policing system in India really is.

We have often seen women complaining at police stations and falsely accusing their husbands and in-laws. In order to make a quick buck or being influenced by the woman and her family, the police books the man and his family in all sorts of false cases like 498a, domestic violence, harassment and a lot more.

This is a reality that all Single Indian men must know especially those who are planning to get married.

This post was just to create and awareness amongst all Single Indian men and they need to be aware of this in their daily dealings with women.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Single Indian men-Beware of the escort extortion rackets

Yesterday while browsing some news websites, I came across an article wherein  a commercial pilot sought companionship with a women on a adult website. Little did he know that he was falling into a trap. The woman from the site met and lured him to her flat. Later some guys claiming to be from the police crime branch burst into the flat and threatened the pilot that he would be implicated in a rape case if he did not pay. They extorted a huge amount from him. For more details you can read the link below:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/On-adult-date-pilot-trapped-in-rape-case/articleshow/53123427.cms

Companionship is something that many single Indian men across India need. We still lack a proper dating platform where single people can meet. Many single men have to resort to dubious escort agencies to seek companionship. Many such agencies are extortion rackets where in some criminal elements  are waiting to pounce on vulnerable men.

Single Indian men should clearly refrain from taking any kind of service from such agencies. This is not the first case which has appeared in the media, there are many such incidents wherein men have been robbed in a similar modus operandi.

Hence I request all single Indian men to take caution and keep themselves away from such services.

Maybe I am not just that kind of a guy

Writing the fourth series on living single in this post I state a major reason why I am still remain single. I am not that kind of a guy, you know the marriage material guy, the kind of a man who is deemed to be an eligible bachelor because he holds a good job and comes from a very good family.

Many people around me often wonder why I am still single. I am 34 years old, hold dual master's degree, a well paying job, have a pleasing personality and good communication skills. That means, I should be hitched right now!!Right!!! No!!! You are wrong. You see I am not just that kind of a guy.You know, the kind of guy who gets flooded with  matrimonial alliances. I am an orphan who lives in a rented accomodation.

I don't have any of those qualities or traits that are expected from eligible Indian bachelors as per the Indian family standards.I have no parents, no relatives and no proper family background. This does not make me "That kind of a guy."

A pragmatic person who does not live in a world filled with fantasy in not liked and accepted by the Indian society. I prefer a court marriage over a big fat Indian wedding, I prefer a simple life over an extravagant one.

Years of loneliness and isolation has led to the buildup of emotional barriers and fences.On the personal front it takes some time for me to open up to a woman.

I am not that kind of a guy who even has a family. You would never prefer to meet me during arranged matrimonial meets. You will not even meet me at any engagement and marriage ceremonies. After all who wants to invite single orphan men to social functions. Maybe I am not that kind of guy.

I am not that kind of a guy who is desperately seeking a bride. Many men of my age have gone insane with desperation. They can't live alone.

You will not consider me as a potential alliance for your daughter/sister.No one will empathize or sympathize for me. Indian society never pays attention to single silently brooding men. Mr.Darcy , the character of novel Pride and Prejudice can take a hike.

I am not that kind of a guy with whom you will dream of having that extravagant engagement ceremony, that wonderful sangeet event or that big fat Indian wedding. You don't like court marriage. Do you?

I am not that kind of guy whose family you look forward to meet. Orphans have no family. Just to remind you.

You see, I am the Hobson's choice, the devil's alternative, a man who will only be considered when a girl's family does not find any suitable person available for her.

But you see, I am a human being. I also used to be someone's child, once upon a time. Dignity and self respect are my important possessions.Life is not so bad for me that I have to be treated as the last alternative.

I am not that kind of a man who is able to meet the materialistic expectations of the Indian society. This is just not my case, there are many single men like me who are orphans or have left their dysfunctional families forever. This is the reality of many single Indian men of our kind. If you are reading this blog post you will understand.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off and will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

A rising trend of forced bachelorhood in India

My dear single Indian men,

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, you may even call be an uncle of solace for you. While searching for topics on single Indian men over the internet, I cam across the following title:

Forced bachelorhood for 4.12 crore men in country as brides go missing

You can read the full article in the below mentioned link

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Forced-bachelorhood-for-4-12-crore-men-in-country-as-brides-go-missing/articleshow/46999330.cms

While it primarily focuses on the state of Uttar Pradesh, one of the worst north Indian badlands, it does reveal an alarming trend across India. More and more men are not getting and married and are forced to live the life of a bachelor.

I would like to share some snippets from the article:

The gap explains why Amit Dwivedi, a 39 year old cardiac surgeon, from city's Gomtinagar area, serving in the Indian Army Medical services has not been able to find a suitable match. "Like most profiles on a matrimony website, caste-minded Dwivedi wants the bride to a perfect person but is unaware that he doesn't have a choice," quips Shrisha Singh, who works against sex-selective abortions in UP.

Wow!!!!! This guy is 39 and still wants someone from his caste.

Match-maker GS Kapoor shared that he comes across unmarried eligible young men born in the early 1970s. "Some of them have in fact compromised over the years on caste and community as well but to no avail. The subtle rise in number of anti-dowry families is more due to 'unavailability of brides' than any consciousness," he said adding, "young men have been forced to live a loner's life because the previous generation was extremely biased towards daughters."

Okay, one more finding,  men have compromised over caste, age and community but no avail!!!

Why is living a loner's life considered to be a curse ? Is it wrong to live a single life and explore new avenues.

I clearly state that these men are to some extent responsible for their own miserable lives. They don't change their mindset. They remain who they are and expect their parents and relatives to find them a soul mate.

But this trend is alarming. Because such men are a threat to the society. These men are the left out or have nots of the Indian society. And unlike the enlightened urban single male who knows how to spend his time in a qualitative manner, these men don't know what to do. They often get weird ideas of rape and molestation as they consider the womenfolk to be their enemies because no one became their wives. And if that were not the case these men spend all their time in watching pornography, drinking alcohol and doing drugs. The sad part is that these men think that marriage and marriage only is a solution to all their problems.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more

BHAVEEN SHETH'S OPEN LETTER TO ALL THE MARRIED INDIAN MEN

My Dear Married Indian Men,

A very good evening to all. Chances are that you would  never be reading this post. I can understand. But I am writing this post to air my grievance againt men of your kind, yes!!!! The married kind.

You are the guys who seem to take a maximum offence of us, the single Indian men. Why man???? Don’t you have a life??? Don’t you have something to do?? Why is it that you envy us so much??

I know why???? Because you are married to an Indian woman and married in the Indian society. That’s why???

At times I pity you. Your life is a misery, overburdened by responsibilities and inspite of all the major commitments that you have on your plate , you go on to targeting the single Indian male. You ridicule him , make harsh criticisms and even to the extent to show that he is an incompetent and an incapable person.

So let me analyze your condition first. Its a myth that you are happy , no matter how much you pretend to be!!!!! Posting a happy family photograph on your profile over eh social media does not prove the same.

Why do some Indian Men remain single

With the changing times and influx of a western lifestyle , one can often notice the gradual changes that have come in the society.

One of the institutions that is being affected is marriage, as a lot of changes have happened in the last 10 years, changes that never happened within the Indian society in the last 1000 years. It is good to see a rapid turnaround in the society.

Coming to the topic of the single Indian man/male, it is still rare for a man not be  married. You can observe a lot of unmarried women in their 30's and 40's. They have their own reasons but you will find a limited number of Indian men who stay single all their lives.

In India three things, i.e. Bollywood, cricket and marriage are the most important preoccupations of the people. It becomes an inseparable part of their lives.

Indian men don't stay single, they are somehow married, no matter how old, dumb or ugly they may be, they have to get married. Now you understand why is the entire nation obsessed after getting Salman Khan and Rahul Gandhi married!!!!. Men are the prized possessions in the family and the family gets them married at any cost.

But then,  one does find Indian men who are still not married living a single life and unlike their female counterparts who have accepted singledom peacefully, such men are sad and brooding.

Here I would like to profile the Single Indian Male/men who stay single all their lives, majority out of their own fate and circumstances and not by choice.

1. The perpetual losers: These are men who are just ordinary, ordinary in looks, ordinary in personality and they hold mediocre jobs that are boring and does not pay a good salary. Yet , like ordinary mortal human beings, they aspire to get married. But, things don't work for them. In the Indian society, every Indian father wants to get his daughter married to the higher economic level in the society. These males do not find suitable matches and remain single all their lives. Common examples of such men are: the office boy, the driver, the clerk , the cashier at a shopping mall, the security guard etc etc.

Bhaveen Sheth-Diary of the Single Indian Male- Search yourself in your Solitude

My Dear Single Indian Males,

Today i would like to discuss on the topic on knowing yourself. How many of us really know who we really are??? The answer is that only few of us know it.

We have been bought up in a close knit family and community and we become men based on the feedback and perception of our near and dear ones. Very few of us get the opportunity to explore the the world outside our homes and communities. Hence we never our selves that well.

The moment an average Indian male reaches a suitable age, a bride hunt starts and he soon gets married, whether he likes it or not. After this starts a new chapter of marriage where the the man has to take up responsibilities and play the tole of a husband, son and father. All this without truly knowing theyself.

In all my years of traveling around India, i have come across such frustrated Men who are living a life without any goals, men who are just counting days, men who have lost it but are just continue to live because they have the burden of responsibilities.

And so my single male friends, cherish your solitude, maybe god has kept us single so that we can discover our selves, maybe we can realize what we really  want in life, our passions and interests are ignited, the freedom to pursue the activities we want.

It is this solitude that will make you realize who you really are and what we really want. So go ahead and take some time so that you can be at peace with your self and you will realize who you really are and what you really want.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signig off for the day , will be back with a lot more later.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth

Bhaveen Sheth-Diary of the Single Indian Male-What Majority of Indian Girls want after Marriage

My Dear Single Indian Male: Please read the truth about what majority of girls in our country want after marriage. Love understanding, caring friendly, compassionate  and all those glossy things are just a things written to give a different impression. The reality is mentioned below. Please read it

What do Woman expect after marriage: (Taken from times of India)

Not getting Married is better, here are some real facts: Before Marriage : Dad gives nokia 3310 with 25 rupees recharge (prepaid connection with 1p/sec plan) with only limited text and outgoing calls: After Marriage :expectation is a Smart phone (usually latest Blackberry or Sony Experia) with unlimited calls,text, 3d camera, 4g conn

ection .Before marriage she gives "missed call" after marriage you give missed calls. Before marriage : Dad / mom gives one chudihar/salwar for birthday :After Marriage: expectation is branded/ designer clothes, roaming around in malls with big sun glasses, shorts and T shirts. Before Marriage: Dal,roti and chaawal (sometimes with pickle or papad): After marriage expectations is Thai, Mexican, Italian dinner (with candle light). Before Marriage: vital stats are 36-26-36, after marriage 40-50-60. Before Marriage : Places visited local theater with some silly idiot (boy friend),sharing a 200ml pepsi and an oily samosa / half cooked vada pau or going to Pizza Hut, KFC occasionally and maximum one burger (for Rs 30.00 including taxes) from Mc Donald per year - but they will brag about it the whole year. After Marriage :Expectation is UK, US - visit the Vegas strip and a 7 day luxury cruise with T shirt and shorts, big dark sun glasses, designer hand bags and watches. Before Marriage: mode of travel is BMW (Bus-Metro-Walk) After marriage : Mercedes Benz (Minimum C Class), Audi,VW.or Lexus. Before Marriage: she says she is totally ignorant about IPC's (Indian penal codes), After Marriage: master in interpreting all provisions of IPC 498a. Before Marriage : rented house in some galli/mohalla: After Marriage: Minimum apartment and the poor husband will be stressed and frustrated paying the housing/car/credit card loans and by the time the loans are over he is totally stressed and frustrated (ends up with BP, receding hairline etc) - Bottom Line : Very conservative when it comes to dads money but lavish and dont care attitude about husbands money Folks this might bit exaggerated, some girls are very good but when you go out in the society most of them appear to be like what I mentioned ..... Damm it ....either way you just can't do with them or without them .........I hope you agree!

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing of for the day, will be back with some more.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth