In this blogpost, I , Bhaveen Sheth, the Single Indian male would like to put my grievance on what has become of the Indian man. This applies to men across this country and those working abroad.I write on the growing frustration of Indian men.
So what has become of the Indian man?What are we? Who are we? Do we have our own identity? No!! I don't think so.
From childhood our gender has been used by our patriarchal grandparents and parents to look down upon other people within the extended family and neighbourhood. We are nothing but flag bearers of the family name.
Our mothers have used us as a reference point for comparing with children of other women.Our childhood is of no concern to anyone. Marks and accomplishments is all that matters.
Since our birth we were taught to hate the opposite gender. We have been brainwashed in dominating women. Girls and women have been portrayed as our enemies.
As we grow, we are forced to participate in rituals we hate and social functions we don't want to attend.
We are compared.skin colour, height, looks, academic achievements and what not. People forget that we are human beings and children.
Teen years bring a lot of hormonal changes within us and we desire for female companionship.But in the Indian society, dating comes with its own terms and conditions. Those who are average Joes don't stand a chance to date a girl.
And do we even stand to choose the career of our choice? NO!! We are intimidated into taking up traditional and safe career choices. Why? Well, because we have to continue the family's professional legacy of being a doctor , engineer, business graduate or we have to follow the herd mentality or may be we have to fulfil the unfilled dreams and desires of our parents and grandparents.
We are not allowed to think, act, behave and live the way we want.Our careers choice are compared with others.
In our 20's . jobs , salaries and compensation benefits become another reference point. You are supposed to work in a renowned organization, draw a hefty six figure salary and get the best of all benefits.And what happens when you don't meet the above criteria? You get labelled as a wasted good for nothing looser.Society does not respect unconventional careers choices;it detests people who who do the same.
We are not settled properly in our careers and the talk of marriage comes up. No one understands that we need minimum 3 to 5 years to settle down in your careers.
You can't marry the girl of your choice, if you do, it once again comes with its own terms and conditions.Parents will go around hunting the beautiful houries around town who fit into their criteria. Marriage is nothing but a win win trade off situation wherein the salary of the groom and the beauty of the bride is matched and holy matrimony is solemnized.
Post marriage it is our wives who use us a reference point for comparing with husbands of other women.We are forced to buy a car we don't need and a house (minimum 2 BHK) we don't want.Courtesy: Our wives and in-laws.
In case of marital discord, we face legal terrorism. There are more that 15 anti male , female biased marital laws present in the judicial system of this country. We are slapped with worst charges.
Only and ignorant fool will say that marriage is a bliss for a man in India.We are overburdened with unwanted responsibilities and sky high expectations.Sex becomes a manipulative tool that wives use against their husbands.Many husbands are not served breakfast or lunch when they leave for work. You can see these husbands eating all forms of junk food on different food stalls lined up outside their corporate offices.
Emotional and verbal abuses have become part of our lives.First at the hands of our parents and relatives and later at the hands of our wives. Loneliness in spite of being married is now becoming a normal thing amongst married men.
This is what has become of the Indian man. This is what our society has moulded us into. We are the family torch bearers, the Rams and Shravans fulfilling the expectations of other people, tag along FRIEND for women, unpaid bodyguards, disposable ATMs, provides, protectors, norm followers, keepers of compliances, alimony providers, sperm donors, solace for the dejected and the rejected women, timely payers of EMI's and home loans.
This is what has become of the Indian man.
Bhaveen Sheth signs off and promises to write a lot more
BHAVEEN SHETH
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