The single Indian man writes on an increasing trend wherein a lot of (sane)Indian men are choosing not to get married and remain single.
Initially when I chose a solitary life, I felt that my decision was wrong but I had no other choice but to remain single due to my destiny. Over the years I started interacting with Indian men who remained single by choice.The MGTOW movement finally came to India in the year 2015 and many Indian MGTOW groups and channels started appearing on the Internet and you tube.
In the points below I would like to explain the reasons:
This write up is for those Indian men who decided to remain single by choice.
Why is it that in a society that centers around families and marriages do some make take a drastic decision to remain single? Especially when they are going to face taunts and criticisms from people.
In the points below I would like to explain the reasons:
The Humiliating Matrimonial Experiences
I am sure that every Indian man of a marriagable age would have gone through such experiences. Many of these meetings are outright humiliating. Nowadays women and their families have sky high expectations. In my previous posts I have mentioned about such instances. Humiliations are not left upto men only, it extends to their parents and siblings. The women and their parents leave no stone unturned in criticizing , taunting, ridiculing and passing cheap comments. The marriage talks are extremely depressing and distressing for the Indian man. How does it feel to see your parents being humiliated on materialistic grounds? What happens when a man observes sadness in the eyes of the his parents when a marriage proposal is rejected? Men eventually realize that it is better to focus on something else that is more meaningful rather than marriage.
The rising demands and expectations of Indian Women
Nowadays it is observed that many Indian women transform into gold diggers the moment they reach a marriagable age. All want the same thing: The man should earn a six figure monthly salary, have his own flat (minimum 2 bhk), a nice fancy car, provide 2 foreign vacations in a year and above all take care of her shopping expenses (that are never ending). Please tell me how many Indian men achieve this by the time they reach 30? And all this for what? Just to get married!!And that too for a female who has done basic graduation, has a mediocre dead end job and is a bit good looking blessed with a fair skin!!! Men are gradually realizing that they don't need to compromise just for an average woman who otherwise will have no value addition in marriage.
Indian marriage laws can leave you bankrupt and turn you into a criminal
India's family laws are biased towards women and are strongly anti-male. There are 50 such draconian laws. Our empowered Indian women use all the provisions and sections of these laws when their marriage goes down hill.These laws are used as a vendetta in order to settle scores with the husband and in-laws. Huge sums are extorted in the name of alimony, settlement, maintenance and childcare.This has left many men bankrupt and with numerous men having criminal charges filled against them. Wise men have had a first hand experience in observing such cases within their own families or friend circle.Newspapers and social media is a doing a credible job in highlighting the rampant abuse of marital laws. This has made many wise men understand that marriage is not worth the risk.
When self esteem takes a hit
No one accepts this but emotional abuse of Indian men at the hands of their wives exists. Though denied by the society emotional abuse happens in terms of verbal abuse , taunts, comparisons, bad words and silent treatment.In one of my post I have written a long article on this topic. Emotional abuse destroys a man from within and this is a primary reason why many married Indian men commit suicide. I have observed the self esteem of many married Indian men who are stuck in dysfunctional marriages with emotionally abusive wives. The look on their faces reminds you of a caged animal who is repeatedly abused. Such men are prone to snap emotionally and turn violent. If someone has been wise enough to observe such things and it is also wise to remain single.
Lessons learnt from Middle Class Upbringing
For a middle class generation who grew up in the 80s and the 90s ,life was quite different than it is today. We did not have the luxuries that are easily available to today's generation.Remember how one joint family had to accommodate in a small house, an entire family sitting in front of a small TV set, rationing of food, books and clothes, living life on a shoe string budget. Yes , we have struggled, many have also seen difficult days during both those decades. We may feel nostalgic about the 80s and 90s but life was not easy. Now as grown men who got a decent education and a well paying job in an organization we are enjoying the spoils of consumerism with all our hard earned money. We have memberships at fitness clubs, drive a decent car, watch American TV Shows on Netflix and do a lot of other interesting activities. Why throw this life away just to get married? Why leave all this just for an above average looking, fair skinned, gold digger woman who have no significant achievements till date and will not bring any value addition in a marriage. I hope you get my point.
New avenues and activities for people living solo
Two decades ago a single man would have died of boredom but not now there are so many avenues and activities to engage a single Indian man.Just have a look are the list below:
American TV Shows
Video Games
Books and Kindle
Solo backpacking
Solo Biking
Correspondence Education
Online Certifications
Classes to pursue your hobbies in music, writing and photography,
Gymnasium and Marathon events
You can add more to this list but seriously with all of the above mentioned things easily accessible why the hell you need to get married.
Individual Quality of Life does matter
Somewhere down the line we as India men have stopped thinking for ourselves, stopped living for ourselves. Since childhood an Indian man has been brainwashed that he is a protector and care taker, he should fulfill the expectations of everyone around him over his own dreams. We Indian men are the Rams and Shravans. No one cares about the lives of the Indian men. Some wise Indian men have realized that their lives matter and have started taking responsibility for the same.They are defying the rules of the society and focusing on themselves.They are doing this by not getting married and remaining single.
Challenges of being a married Indian men
Married life is not a bliss, certainly not for the Indian man. Setting up a new home, meeting the demands of the wife, home loans, car loans, school fees, expenses related to children is challenging. Our elders may have counselled us that marriage makes a man responsible but I think otherwise. Married Indian men have unnecessary burdens and responsibilities dumped upon them for no reason. One has to keep everyone happy, attend each and every social function whether he likes it or not. Married life is no easy cakewalk.
Exposure to the evil side of Women
We are now very well aware of the evil and sinister side of Indian women. We have know about Rohtak sisters, Jasleen Kaur, Indrani Mukherjea, Zaira Wasim and a lot more. We have come across radical feminists and feminazis somewhere.Some men have been in relationships with these women and have suffered abuse at their hands, others have married such women and have gone through an acrimonious separation process. Newspapers are filled with stories wherein the wife partnered along with her paramour in order to kill her husband. There was one story wherein a woman killed her entire family just because she wanted to spend the rest of his life her boyfriend. Mens rights forum have highlighted the diabolical side of women.All this has made Indian men repulsive towards marriage.
A deep realization that you are not made for marriage.
As men we must realize and accept whether we are made for marriage or not.Are we capable of handling a marriage or not?Are we willing to give up our solo life, our freedom and our solitude?Are we emotionally and psychologically fit for marriage. At the end of the day it boils down to our own personal competency and capability. There is more to married life than just the engagement and the ceremony.For those of us who come from broken or dysfunctional families, for those who have heartbroken by multiple breakups, for those who are volatile in matters of love, for those who have been alone for a long time, it comes to a moment of deep realization that we are not made for marriage and it is something we need to stop chasing. We should chose to life alone.
With this I end my blog post and I hope my thoughts find acceptance among many single Indian men.
Bhaveen Sheth
Indian MGTOW
I am sure that every Indian man of a marriagable age would have gone through such experiences. Many of these meetings are outright humiliating. Nowadays women and their families have sky high expectations. In my previous posts I have mentioned about such instances. Humiliations are not left upto men only, it extends to their parents and siblings. The women and their parents leave no stone unturned in criticizing , taunting, ridiculing and passing cheap comments. The marriage talks are extremely depressing and distressing for the Indian man. How does it feel to see your parents being humiliated on materialistic grounds? What happens when a man observes sadness in the eyes of the his parents when a marriage proposal is rejected? Men eventually realize that it is better to focus on something else that is more meaningful rather than marriage.
The rising demands and expectations of Indian Women
Nowadays it is observed that many Indian women transform into gold diggers the moment they reach a marriagable age. All want the same thing: The man should earn a six figure monthly salary, have his own flat (minimum 2 bhk), a nice fancy car, provide 2 foreign vacations in a year and above all take care of her shopping expenses (that are never ending). Please tell me how many Indian men achieve this by the time they reach 30? And all this for what? Just to get married!!And that too for a female who has done basic graduation, has a mediocre dead end job and is a bit good looking blessed with a fair skin!!! Men are gradually realizing that they don't need to compromise just for an average woman who otherwise will have no value addition in marriage.
Indian marriage laws can leave you bankrupt and turn you into a criminal
India's family laws are biased towards women and are strongly anti-male. There are 50 such draconian laws. Our empowered Indian women use all the provisions and sections of these laws when their marriage goes down hill.These laws are used as a vendetta in order to settle scores with the husband and in-laws. Huge sums are extorted in the name of alimony, settlement, maintenance and childcare.This has left many men bankrupt and with numerous men having criminal charges filled against them. Wise men have had a first hand experience in observing such cases within their own families or friend circle.Newspapers and social media is a doing a credible job in highlighting the rampant abuse of marital laws. This has made many wise men understand that marriage is not worth the risk.
When self esteem takes a hit
No one accepts this but emotional abuse of Indian men at the hands of their wives exists. Though denied by the society emotional abuse happens in terms of verbal abuse , taunts, comparisons, bad words and silent treatment.In one of my post I have written a long article on this topic. Emotional abuse destroys a man from within and this is a primary reason why many married Indian men commit suicide. I have observed the self esteem of many married Indian men who are stuck in dysfunctional marriages with emotionally abusive wives. The look on their faces reminds you of a caged animal who is repeatedly abused. Such men are prone to snap emotionally and turn violent. If someone has been wise enough to observe such things and it is also wise to remain single.
Lessons learnt from Middle Class Upbringing
For a middle class generation who grew up in the 80s and the 90s ,life was quite different than it is today. We did not have the luxuries that are easily available to today's generation.Remember how one joint family had to accommodate in a small house, an entire family sitting in front of a small TV set, rationing of food, books and clothes, living life on a shoe string budget. Yes , we have struggled, many have also seen difficult days during both those decades. We may feel nostalgic about the 80s and 90s but life was not easy. Now as grown men who got a decent education and a well paying job in an organization we are enjoying the spoils of consumerism with all our hard earned money. We have memberships at fitness clubs, drive a decent car, watch American TV Shows on Netflix and do a lot of other interesting activities. Why throw this life away just to get married? Why leave all this just for an above average looking, fair skinned, gold digger woman who have no significant achievements till date and will not bring any value addition in a marriage. I hope you get my point.
New avenues and activities for people living solo
Two decades ago a single man would have died of boredom but not now there are so many avenues and activities to engage a single Indian man.Just have a look are the list below:
American TV Shows
Video Games
Books and Kindle
Solo backpacking
Solo Biking
Correspondence Education
Online Certifications
Classes to pursue your hobbies in music, writing and photography,
Gymnasium and Marathon events
You can add more to this list but seriously with all of the above mentioned things easily accessible why the hell you need to get married.
Individual Quality of Life does matter
Somewhere down the line we as India men have stopped thinking for ourselves, stopped living for ourselves. Since childhood an Indian man has been brainwashed that he is a protector and care taker, he should fulfill the expectations of everyone around him over his own dreams. We Indian men are the Rams and Shravans. No one cares about the lives of the Indian men. Some wise Indian men have realized that their lives matter and have started taking responsibility for the same.They are defying the rules of the society and focusing on themselves.They are doing this by not getting married and remaining single.
Challenges of being a married Indian men
Married life is not a bliss, certainly not for the Indian man. Setting up a new home, meeting the demands of the wife, home loans, car loans, school fees, expenses related to children is challenging. Our elders may have counselled us that marriage makes a man responsible but I think otherwise. Married Indian men have unnecessary burdens and responsibilities dumped upon them for no reason. One has to keep everyone happy, attend each and every social function whether he likes it or not. Married life is no easy cakewalk.
Exposure to the evil side of Women
We are now very well aware of the evil and sinister side of Indian women. We have know about Rohtak sisters, Jasleen Kaur, Indrani Mukherjea, Zaira Wasim and a lot more. We have come across radical feminists and feminazis somewhere.Some men have been in relationships with these women and have suffered abuse at their hands, others have married such women and have gone through an acrimonious separation process. Newspapers are filled with stories wherein the wife partnered along with her paramour in order to kill her husband. There was one story wherein a woman killed her entire family just because she wanted to spend the rest of his life her boyfriend. Mens rights forum have highlighted the diabolical side of women.All this has made Indian men repulsive towards marriage.
A deep realization that you are not made for marriage.
As men we must realize and accept whether we are made for marriage or not.Are we capable of handling a marriage or not?Are we willing to give up our solo life, our freedom and our solitude?Are we emotionally and psychologically fit for marriage. At the end of the day it boils down to our own personal competency and capability. There is more to married life than just the engagement and the ceremony.For those of us who come from broken or dysfunctional families, for those who have heartbroken by multiple breakups, for those who are volatile in matters of love, for those who have been alone for a long time, it comes to a moment of deep realization that we are not made for marriage and it is something we need to stop chasing. We should chose to life alone.
With this I end my blog post and I hope my thoughts find acceptance among many single Indian men.
Bhaveen Sheth
Indian MGTOW
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