Can we please normalize 35 plus year old single Indian men seeking companionship:Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Time and again I come across articles written by feminist Indian authors glorying the fact that 30 plus year old Indian women should openly seek companionship with men without getting married.

Okay! Well Didi, I am okay with your thoughts but why is there a problem if a 35 plus year old single Indian man seeks companionship? Aren't men human being who also need to connect with other humans?

It seems that in India for men everything is restricted. I mean just look at the normal life of most Indian men; they are forced to study and excel at school, get good grades, entrance examinations, good college, bachelors and masters degree, job, CTC, buy a car, buy a house and what not. When was there a time time for them to engage is some activities of companionship. Other than a few men who get lucky , most of the Indian men have to go through the same old drudgery, fulfilling the expectations of parents, family and society.

There is a gradual rise in the population of single Indian men over the last decade. Men are finding it difficult to get married,others are divorced and separated and some wise men have decided to take up a MGTOW lifestyle. This is okay. The problem happens when these men after crossing 35  seek companionship from the opposite gender. Our society has a problem in labeling 35 year plus single Indian men to be perverts for reasons that are beyond my understanding. For the larger society single Indian men after a certain age should  not be looking for companionship, they should either get married or take up a celibate lifestyle.

We all know that marriage is a complicated business. People don't even know if marriages will work out. After a certain age it is not easy to make changes and do adjustments. I am all in agreement with this. But should people give up on seeking companionship from the opposite gender? 

To put my point clearly, I would to state that majority of the Indian men are law abiding citizens. They know that the police and judicial system is strongly biased against them. They would not do anything that will get them into trouble. So for all those who think that single Indian men are perverts, please dream on. 

In India, it seems that for men , marriage comes with an expiry date. This is what the larger society thinks. Fair enough!! But does that mean that men should stop seeking company of the opposite gender? Why is asking a woman (of their age category) out on a date such a big taboo for mature Indian men? Is this privilege restricted to youngsters only?

Having spoken to many single and divorced men, there is one common thing that they have mentioned, either marriage or nothing. This is what their families and relatives tell them. There are men who got friendly with women and brought them to their apartment only to face the wrath of the other apartment members the very next day. These acche ghar ke pariwar people can't tolerate  a single man bringing a woman to his house even though he owns the flat. After all our double standard society is all about parampara, sanskaar and prathistha. The most vitriolic of these protesters are the 55 plus year old Chachas who have been carried away by recent religious polarization in our country and have becomes the gatekeepers of morality. There are also single men who are having companionship of young girls. Guess it is the new age economy where the women exchange company for lunches at fancy restaurants, movies in mutiplex and trips to nearby locations. There are also men who go and visit massage parlors for some company. We all know what happens in those massage parlors but then it is his life , why bother?

The draconian laws related to marriage and extremely high expectations of women and their families when it comes to marriage has made many men realize that marriage is not easy. Those who have gone through a bitter divorce having contested it in the court  don't want to ever get married again. Why then is our society forcing men to get married? And why shouldn't men seek companionship? Is there a law that stops men from doing it? In the constitution of India, each and every citizen is given the life to liberty and live his/her life as he/she wants so long as the law is not being broken. Then why is  that we the collective society shame a single man in the company of a woman. Why are people taking up the role of a moral policeman.

Companionship does not mean marriage. If that were the case why are so many marriages filled with people who hate each other and are yet married? For the Indian society marriage is the end of all things. It is time for men to explore relationships without getting married. There is nothing wrong in having a short term relationship, if things don't work out , you can part ways. There is no point of getting married after 35 especially for men (planning to write an article on this). I have come across plenty of embittered men in their 40s and 50s. They only dreamt of getting married, they fantasized of that wonderful woman coming their lives and bringing happiness. Unfortunately nothing happened. Life is not that hindi television serial or bollywood movie that showcases the picture perfect life. 

To all single Indian men, your time is now and you need to live your life. Don't carry regrets and disappointments to your grave. There is no shame is seeking companionship of a woman. Don't bother about what the society and family will say. This is your life , go and live it.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

The COVID WIDOW scam on the online Matrimonial Sites: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

The COVID pandemic will be seen as one of the greatest tragedies of the 21st Century. Two years on and India is still reeling from the after effects of this pandemic. Our economy is in shambles, business is bad, Inflation is all time high, jobs are not easy to come by and things are getting difficult day by day.

Still we the people of India will go on doing what we were doing best, Marriage. Even during this Covid Pandemic, people did not stop from getting married.

With all kinds of scams that emerged during the pandemic, a new one is gradually being observed. i.e the case of fake widows on the online matrimonial sites.

The pandemic has become an excuse for many divorced, separated women and single mothers to claim themselves to be widows and marry a naive person. I spoke to two men who  got trapped in this kind of marriage. The first one was looking for an understanding life partner, he was clear that he would not marry a divorcee considering how today's women are using the gender biased laws against their in-laws and husbands. He came across a profile stating that the woman was a widow having lost her husband in the pandemic. Interest was expressed, numbers were exchanged and conversations took place. This man even visited the woman's city and spoke to her at a coffee shop and later took her for dinner at a restaurant. He was convinced that finally he had found his life partner and wanted to marry her. He went back, spoke to his parents, while the parents initially expressed skepticism, later they agreed for the marriage. The marriage took place, everything went well. A month later a major catastrophe struck, he came across his wive's documents where it was stated that she was a divorcee and later he also came across a divorcee decree wherein his wife had claimed alimony and had filled 498a and DV against her husband. While his wife was divorced, she had got a huge alimony as a settlement. This man was devastated and went into depression.He confronted his wife only to see a different side of the woman he had truly loved. She laughed at him and threatened him that were he to leave her or tell this to anyone, she would file false cases against the husband and his parents. The man backed off and accepted his fate. He feels to have been badly cheated.

The second case is just like the one above, the only difference is that the man was a never married bachelor in his mid 40s looking for a life partner. He too got conned by this so called single mother widow who again had lost her husband in the pandemic and was looking for a supportive life partner. In reality this woman was divorced, her husband was very much alive and she was shamelessly claiming child support. Her first husband was not even aware that she was got married for the second time.

In both these cases the husbands were alive. With rising awareness among the Indian men and their families, never married men are refraining from getting married to divorcees considering the fact  many women have used the legal system to their advantage. No decent man or his family wants to be accused of false dowry cases, domestic violence and be arrested. Hence the hesitancy. People will always prefer a widow.

So some cunning, calculating women and their parents convincingly take up the widow status and the Covid pandemic is a wonderful excuse as it claimed the lives of both old and young ones. And here you have a bechari young widow who lost her husband, you have an abhla single mother widow who is looking for a supportive husband who will also accept her child.

My dear single Indian men, please beware of this scam. Don't be desperate to get married. It is better to be single than be sorry. If you come across such profiles where interests are expressed, please do your background verification. Hire a private detective, scout her history, as for the death certificate of her husband, verify it with the mortuary, ask for her past family photographs, ask for the husbands medical records, the respective state governments are also giving some kind of covid benefits to the families of the deceased, please ask for this kind of certificate. all hospitals are issuing it.

Do a thorough investigation, today narratives can easily be changed and a calculating thug can easily play the role of the victim. Understand that you should not be conned. Both of these men fell into the trap because they were lured by the beauty of the women.

I have my sympathy for all those women who genuinely lost their husbands during the pandemic, in many cases the husbands were the sole earners/bread winners and now the responsibility of taking care of the family has fallen upon the widowed wives. May god give all these women the strength and courage to carry on with this challenging journey ahead.

What I dislike is how the widow status is being misused in order to trap naive innocent men into marriage. This brings a bad name to the women who have actually been widowed. Even they would want to find a decent life partner and give their life a new start, unfortunately with all these kinds of scams they too have come under scrutiny.

At the end of this post I want to clearly warn all the single Indian men; please be careful, keep an open mind, just because you hear someones sad plight does not mean you have to take it on face value. Never take a major life changing decision in desperation, always give it time. Be aware, be careful and be safe.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW.