Maybe I am not just that kind of a guy

Writing the fourth series on living single in this post I state a major reason why I am still remain single. I am not that kind of a guy, you know the marriage material guy, the kind of a man who is deemed to be an eligible bachelor because he holds a good job and comes from a very good family.

Many people around me often wonder why I am still single. I am 34 years old, hold dual master's degree, a well paying job, have a pleasing personality and good communication skills. That means, I should be hitched right now!!Right!!! No!!! You are wrong. You see I am not just that kind of a guy.You know, the kind of guy who gets flooded with  matrimonial alliances. I am an orphan who lives in a rented accomodation.

I don't have any of those qualities or traits that are expected from eligible Indian bachelors as per the Indian family standards.I have no parents, no relatives and no proper family background. This does not make me "That kind of a guy."

A pragmatic person who does not live in a world filled with fantasy in not liked and accepted by the Indian society. I prefer a court marriage over a big fat Indian wedding, I prefer a simple life over an extravagant one.

Years of loneliness and isolation has led to the buildup of emotional barriers and fences.On the personal front it takes some time for me to open up to a woman.

I am not that kind of a guy who even has a family. You would never prefer to meet me during arranged matrimonial meets. You will not even meet me at any engagement and marriage ceremonies. After all who wants to invite single orphan men to social functions. Maybe I am not that kind of guy.

I am not that kind of a guy who is desperately seeking a bride. Many men of my age have gone insane with desperation. They can't live alone.

You will not consider me as a potential alliance for your daughter/sister.No one will empathize or sympathize for me. Indian society never pays attention to single silently brooding men. Mr.Darcy , the character of novel Pride and Prejudice can take a hike.

I am not that kind of a guy with whom you will dream of having that extravagant engagement ceremony, that wonderful sangeet event or that big fat Indian wedding. You don't like court marriage. Do you?

I am not that kind of guy whose family you look forward to meet. Orphans have no family. Just to remind you.

You see, I am the Hobson's choice, the devil's alternative, a man who will only be considered when a girl's family does not find any suitable person available for her.

But you see, I am a human being. I also used to be someone's child, once upon a time. Dignity and self respect are my important possessions.Life is not so bad for me that I have to be treated as the last alternative.

I am not that kind of a man who is able to meet the materialistic expectations of the Indian society. This is just not my case, there are many single men like me who are orphans or have left their dysfunctional families forever. This is the reality of many single Indian men of our kind. If you are reading this blog post you will understand.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off and will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

Dear Sir/Madam:Nothing is wrong with me. I am an orphan and that is the reason why I am still single

Continuing the third part of this series, I write an open letter to the honorable men and women of my society and country when they ask me why a well educated man having a decent job, drawing a good salary and having a good personality is still single. They feel that something is wrong with me not knowing the fact that I am an orphan, all by myself having no family. In this post I speak to them in person explaining them my own situation. 

Dear Sir/Madam,

Hope you are doing good. I happen to come across men and women like you who keep on questioning my single status. You ask me why I am still not married? So here I state the obvious reaosns.

Yes, I am an orphan with no parents or relatives. I have no one who can vouch for me. This makes me an automatic reject on the matrimonial front.No one will prefer an orphan as a potential husband or son-in-law. You see, our society follows doubles standards. It states something does exactly the opposite.

I have heard many statements from men and women of your kind.After meeting me when you come to know that I am still single, you say "Such a nice person, so educated having a decent job, earning a good salary and still he is single and still unmarried."I wonder what is wrong with him?"

Sir/Madam, you pity my condition,you give me all kind of advices on getting married and lecture me on the advantages of getting married.Sir/Madam, would you recommend your daughter/sister/near relative to get married to me?I think not.You see, giving unsolicited advice is very easy but following it is difficult.

And you feel that I have extremely high expectations from a future spouse. What do you mean by high expectations? Is it wrong if I expect  my wife to cook for me? Is it wrong if I expect her to adjust with what I earn and what I can provide her. This is a normal expectation that unanimously all Indian men will vouch for.There is nothing wrong in it.

And yes, do I hear that you called me paranoid and said that I have a negative outlook towards the institution of marriage. What is your take in all those feminist, anti-male, gynocentric misandrist laws existing within the judicial system of this country. Being all by myself am I not vulnerable?Aren't there enough femme fa tale's out there who want to rob men of their hard earned money by getting married to them. Just one complaint by her and I risk loosing my hard earned money, not to forget my job and reputation.

People marry in order to make their lives better , not worse.I have seen men struggle within a dysfunctional marriage.Yes sir/madam, I have seen a lot What is the point of getting married if you can't be happy.

In my previous blog post, I have written that I got potential matrimonial alliances from the dejected and rejected women, women who did not find any takers, women whom no normal person wanted to marry.I hope you can understand what kind of women I am talking about. People think that just because I am an orphan, I have no choice but to settle down with such leftover women.

But you see, my honour, dignity and self respect are still intact with me.Years of loneliness has taught me to become self dependent or self reliant.I agree that I need a life partner, but I am not that desperate to settle down  with anyone whom I come across.

I am a traveler, I am a seeker and in this journey of life you may never know what can happen in the near future.

As of now I am content with what I have. So it is my sincere request that you don't have be be concerned for me.In India no one care for orphans, so why do you even bother. I can take for care of myself.

Concluding my blogpost, I hope I have given a befitting answer to your question.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth