Continuing the third part of this series, I write an open letter to the honorable men and women of my society and country when they ask me why a well educated man having a decent job, drawing a good salary and having a good personality is still single. They feel that something is wrong with me not knowing the fact that I am an orphan, all by myself having no family. In this post I speak to them in person explaining them my own situation.
Dear Sir/Madam,
Hope you are doing good. I happen to come across men and women like you who keep on questioning my single status. You ask me why I am still not married? So here I state the obvious reaosns.
Yes, I am an orphan with no parents or relatives. I have no one who can vouch for me. This makes me an automatic reject on the matrimonial front.No one will prefer an orphan as a potential husband or son-in-law. You see, our society follows doubles standards. It states something does exactly the opposite.
I have heard many statements from men and women of your kind.After meeting me when you come to know that I am still single, you say "Such a nice person, so educated having a decent job, earning a good salary and still he is single and still unmarried."I wonder what is wrong with him?"
Sir/Madam, you pity my condition,you give me all kind of advices on getting married and lecture me on the advantages of getting married.Sir/Madam, would you recommend your daughter/sister/near relative to get married to me?I think not.You see, giving unsolicited advice is very easy but following it is difficult.
And you feel that I have extremely high expectations from a future spouse. What do you mean by high expectations? Is it wrong if I expect my wife to cook for me? Is it wrong if I expect her to adjust with what I earn and what I can provide her. This is a normal expectation that unanimously all Indian men will vouch for.There is nothing wrong in it.
And yes, do I hear that you called me paranoid and said that I have a negative outlook towards the institution of marriage. What is your take in all those feminist, anti-male, gynocentric misandrist laws existing within the judicial system of this country. Being all by myself am I not vulnerable?Aren't there enough femme fa tale's out there who want to rob men of their hard earned money by getting married to them. Just one complaint by her and I risk loosing my hard earned money, not to forget my job and reputation.
People marry in order to make their lives better , not worse.I have seen men struggle within a dysfunctional marriage.Yes sir/madam, I have seen a lot What is the point of getting married if you can't be happy.
In my previous blog post, I have written that I got potential matrimonial alliances from the dejected and rejected women, women who did not find any takers, women whom no normal person wanted to marry.I hope you can understand what kind of women I am talking about. People think that just because I am an orphan, I have no choice but to settle down with such leftover women.
But you see, my honour, dignity and self respect are still intact with me.Years of loneliness has taught me to become self dependent or self reliant.I agree that I need a life partner, but I am not that desperate to settle down with anyone whom I come across.
I am a traveler, I am a seeker and in this journey of life you may never know what can happen in the near future.
As of now I am content with what I have. So it is my sincere request that you don't have be be concerned for me.In India no one care for orphans, so why do you even bother. I can take for care of myself.
Concluding my blogpost, I hope I have given a befitting answer to your question.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off and promise to be back with a lot more.
Bhaveen Sheth
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