After His Marriage Everything Will Get Alright

EK baar uski Shaadi hone do, sub kuch thik ho jayega- Some filthy garbage Bollywood Dialogue heard over and over again and my answer is Ganta Thik Ho Jayega.

Often one comes across parents in India who have a Dysfunctional Son, but they proudly say “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”

Lets us explore this subject and describe the useless good for nothing son who is the perfect example of an Average Indian Male.

Some Characteristics are mentioned below:

Mediocre Education and an Average Struggling Job. Life itself is a burden for such a single man. But his parents always say “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”. Nothing gets alright unless they are expecting a huge dowry from the bride’s parents or the Future father in law is a rich man willing to financially support his future son in law.

The Guy is a street goon/punk who otherwise is a good for nothing, his specialities include street fights, hooliganism, monthly visits to courts and police stations, damage to public and private property, harassing and teasing of the neighbourhood girls. This man needs some sort of institutionalization but then say the parents “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”.

Nothing will get alright unless the vagabond son is going to get married to a social worker and it is a rare thing that will ever happen.

The Highly Temperamental Man- Otherwise nothing but a commoner, this man will get angry if he has to wait for the door to open or food to be served. Controlling his temper is virtually impossible. One can convince the Pakistanis to leave Siachen Glacier but it is impossible to tell such a man to control his temper. Such a man requires a strong psychiatric intervention  and that is only when he agrees to take it. But then say the parents of the boy “Once we get him married, everything will get alright” I wonder if marriage really have so much power in bringing down a man’s temper. I seriously doubt it.

The Sexual Maniac- Uuuuuuughhhhhh, This man is uncontrollable, go to his room and you will find his walls plastered with all kinds of naked and semi nude girls. His Car/2 wheeler will be named as Pussy Wagon, roaring bazooka and other weird sexual icons. Check his Desktop/laptop and you will find a porn starlet in the background and check the systems disk memory and you will find that half of it contains porn clips. Such a man visits the washroom 5 to 6 times a day ( C’mon , you know why???) and the looser that he is , he takes the risk of going to brothels and red light areas for occasional romps. In Short he is nothing but a walking hard On 24*7*365. It is not that his parents don’t know about it, but all they say “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”. Nothing gets alright, at least spare some innocent helpless girl from a violent marital rape.

The Mr.Mannerless Man- Manners!!!!! What does that mean??? This guy does not even know it. Common things you will observe about him are, he will release gases from both his orifices (oral and anal) anything, anyplace and anywhere with the most amazing vocal sounds and a smell more lethal than the Metyhl Isocynate released in the Bhopal gas Tragedy. He will finger his nose and private parts whenever he wants, stare at all woman below their necklines, wear stinking socks, will  have the worst body odour, eats in a public place like a hungry cannibal, wants sex just like he wants food and many other eccentricities. His parents have done nothing to correct him; after all he is the laadla beta, the Khandaan ka Chiraag. But then say the parents “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”. I pity that Poor Girl who gets married to him.

The Religious/Political Fanatic/Fundamentalist- Who said that religious fanatics and fundamentalists are there only on the other side of the border, one has plenty of them in India.This man may or may not be educated, but pull up a topic on religion and you will see him flare up. This man discusses religion 24-7-365. His views are distorted when it comes to the present and he still lives in the glorious history of his religion. He adamantly follows the rituals sometimes even the tribal rituals and expects all his family members to follow the same. He considers all woman to be inferior and nothing but care takers, home makers and slaves. But then say the Parents “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”

The Mentally Retarded/Challenged Man- I feel sorry for the man and his parents. Sometimes destiny has not good with them. But all he requires is good mental and social support that of course his parents and Healthcare Institutions and Professionals give. But No!!!!!! All Indian Parents have the dream to see their son married even if he is mentally challenged and all they say is “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”. You won’t get anything alright, but you will make the life of your son more miserable and ruin the life of an innocent girl.

The Man with a Psycho-Social Problem- Otherwise Physically normal but this man suffers from some sort of psychological problem, which purposely goes unnoticed and nothing is done to sort it out. The parents of this man deny the fact that their son really has a problem and needs to go for some psychological/psychiatric support. All they say is “Once we get him married, everything will get alright”. Nothing gets alright; it only flares up with time.