Please stop comparing and associating us with Salman Khan:Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

No other bollywood filmstar other than Sanjay Dutt would have courted so much controversy that this actor Salman Khan has. Even when our press and social media has reported accounts of his dark behaviour and misdeeds, Mr. Salman Khan enjoys a large fan base. After all , we are a nation of fools and idiots.

Now I or the fraternity of the Single Indian men don't have any problem with him. We don't follow him on social media or watch his trashy movies. Unfortunately the larger Indian population,time and again, tries to associate us with this character/creature called Salman Khan.

I am sure that Single Indian men and MGTOWs reading this post will be able to understand. Whenever we state that we want to remain single and don't intend to get married, we are taunted whether we want to become the next Salman Khan. I guess empathy and understanding is something that my fellow Indian men lack and if that was not enough they are too bothered in what is happening in the lives of other people.

So in this blog post , I would like to write my thoughts on why decent Single Indian men should not be associated with Salman Khan:

We don't take steroids in order to build our bodies. Fitness may be important for us but not at the cost of of our health.

We don't physically or verbally abuse girlfriends. Truth is that we don't have any girl friends in the first place.Even if we were seeing someone we would not do such a thing.

We are law abiding citizens and do not drink and drive or run our cars over people sleeping on the footpath.

We are animal lovers and even if we are not, we don't go around killing poor animals in the name of hunting that too the endangered species.

We don't associate with goons, hoodlums, dons and mafias as we have nothing to do with them.

We are humble, rational and accommodating human beings and don't go across destroying the lives or careers of other people. We don't have a fragile super ego.

We are middle class or upper middle class people and don't have a harem of girls at our disposal. We neither have the cash or the celebrity status to have girls around us and truth be told , we have much better things to do than spend time with girls.

I hope that people can understand these basic facts and stop associating us with this anti-social character. There are many men who remain single by choice. This is something that married Indian men won't understand. Rationalizing with these men is not possible. In my country people hardly read, they hardly travel beyond the confines of their own towns and cities, they hardly meet people from diverse cultures or backgrounds. In India, Individuality is not respected or tolerated.

But whatever it may be, we the Single Indian men don't want to become Salman Khan.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Dear NRI's (Non Residential Indians) and People of Indian Origin(PIO), please stop coming to India in order for find a bride and get married: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

 The Single Indian man writes this post for all NRI's and PIO's that they should stop coming down to Indian in order to look for some beautiful bride in order to get married. Parents and young men based abroad (on work visa, Green Card or Permanent Resident), if you are reading this post , I kindly request you to strongly consider my advice. I am sharing two  articles from a website Men's Day Out. This is about a men based abroad who came down to India in order to marry the women of their dreams. Post marriage a major tragedy happened. Please read the content below as I have copied it from the website:

NRI Husband: My Wife, Her Family Travelled Everywhere On My Expenses & Later Filed False 498A On Me

If you are an NRI groom looking for a bride from India, there are certain facts that you must be aware of. It is also advisable to understand the matrimonial laws that exist in India, clubbed with the very challenging legal system that make take decades for a divorce proceeding to end.

In most cases where innocent men, their parents, siblings are trapped, pressure is built on the groom’s family by filing false cases even under the criminal sections of the IPC. Somehow the husband and his parents have to come to the negotiating table, before they are set free. Of course, we are not generalising these instances, however, it is always wise to know what could be in store for you or your son!

His Story (As Shared By Husband)

I am average looking man from southern part of India. I was born in Bengaluru and raised with values of obedience and respect to elders. Though we belonged to middle class life, my parents struggled hard to give me basic necessities such as food, shelter and education. I have two sisters as well.

I toiled all my life  and completed Bachelor of Arts from an esteemed institution. As a student of Sociology, we have always discussed about respecting women and striving to bring equality in the society. After getting a job in 2012, I could not continue my education further due to my financial condition.

I gave my best to the organisation I was working for, and I was also recognised with various awards. Subsequently, after doing considerably well, I was able to get one of my sisters married after availing a loan.

Life moved on and in 2017, I got an opportunity to be transferred abroad. I was elated and doing well for myself, which is when my parents thought it was time to get me married!

They shared my profile on a matrimonial site which was the biggest mistake we ever made! The girl’s side contacted us with their proposal and their family was able to convince my parents for the alliance. I was also excited about knowing my life partner and was looking forward to a new future. All expenses to be divided equally was discussed initially itself.

Our wedding took place in September 2019 and in October, I went back to the country where I used to work before the wedding. My wife and I had decided to relocate permanently and thus I also searched for her job. In the month of December, my wife, along with her parents, visited the country of my residence, where I lived on a sponsorship.

I took them all out for excursions and we had a very good time travelling everywhere. Later, after a month in January 2020, my in-laws returned to India. Since then, my wife’s behaviour completely changed and she started dominating over every micro decision.

She started asking me not to contact my family, block them and also not send any monthly expenses. I used to calm her down somehow and also I always tried to stay composed myself. I would take her out and spend time with her, however, she would pick up petty fights and demand that I take her back to India.

In February, we returned to India and she walked away to her parent’s home straight from the airport. I asked her to come with me, however, she stopped all contact. She also received calls from her HR department where she had taken up a job in the country of our matrimonial residence, however, she refused to return. This arrangement continued till July and later we learnt she was expecting our baby. Now, she had an excuse that she could not fly back and remained at her home, where later she had a miscarriage.

I tried every possible way to approach her and asked her to return to live with me, because I truly loved her very much. Less I knew that she was not interested in continuing further and had filed fake cases on me under Section 498A and others, even after I took care of her parents during COVID. Her family has alleged that I  demanded a car, jewelry, etc. from them.

All My Dreams Have Shattered

Till today, I had entered the Police station only during my passport application process. I have never demanded anything from her or her family, but now I realise that the laws in India only favour one side — just on mere allegations from the woman’s side — no evidence asked whatsoever.

I really don’t know what the future holds for me, but I believe in God that He shall favour the righteous and help those who speak the truth.

I am certain I shall come out clean because I have not done anything wrong. However, the time that I am currently facing due to false accusations and cases, is affecting my health and mental peace, and also the same has taken a toll on the happiness of my old parents. Even after filing false domestic violence charges on me, my wife and her family seem to be unaffected and are enjoying their life.

My question to all who are reading this is Where is Equality? Why do we have such one-sided laws against Men/Husbands? Are Men not equal citizens of our great country, don’t we pay our taxes on time? Why are we made to suffer like this in the name of women empowerment?

You won’t realise the trauma unless you or your family goes through it.

NRI USA: “My Wife Filed False 498A Within 8-Months Marriage; Now Demanding Rs 2.5 Crore To Withdraw All Cases”

I am a commoner who had dreams of a perfect marriage and loved my wife with all my heart and soul. My idea of marriage being a bliss to a journey of harassment and a nightmare is worth a share. I am writing this with a lot of pain, as sharing my personal life is not who I am. But, if my story can alert the rest of you, why not?

I have a deep respect for all, be it women or men, and hence treated my better half equally. But did I do anything wrong being kind? I married my wife with the idea of giving her a beautiful life and fulfilling all her dreams, in fact, I considered her as my dream and was thoughtful about every occasion from the day of our marriage to honeymoon.

I never realised her wishes were demands. I happily gifted her first diamond ring and also paid for our wedding, little did I know that my wife was faking her feelings and scamming me to a marriage which is going to be her source of lifetime income. Today I have been accused of Section 498A (Dowry Law) in the name of women empowerment. Don’t get me wrong but this isn’t feminism nor women empowerment.

It took a lot of effort and hard work to achieve my career goals, and I moved to the United States Of America with my wife from India hoping to give her a better lifestyle and dreaming that she will be my emotional support to do so.

I was stunned by her change of behavior and disrespectful attitude after we moved to the states. Constant fights and abuse became a routine. I was shattered and felt hopeless with her quick change of personality. Let me tell you she is the same woman who enjoyed the benefits of a one-month Euro Trip as a honeymoon getaway. I have never questioned her needs and been a good husband providing her with all that she asks. I got lied and betrayed and stolen in the name of marriage for 5 long years. The irony is, after providing everything she asked for, I am fighting a dowry charge against me, which is character assassination and a black mark in my life for loving and marrying a con artist like my wife ….

I saw her love and interest (which was fake) fading away in just 8 months of our marriage. As soon as she realized that the only way to get money was by filing a divorce, she ruthlessly filed a false dowry harassment case against me in Indian court to extort a huge amount of alimony settlement.

MY STORY

I met my wife through a matrimonial site jeevansathi.com in the year 2014. We went on a couple of dates, and on 05-17-2014 we registered our marriage in Bangalore, India. She expressed her interest in a fine cut VVS1 category 1-carat diamond ring and one month Euro Trip as her marriage gift.

I happily fulfilled both her demands as a new beginning of my life with my wife. All I had for her was unconditional Love. She was gifted (180 gm) of our ancestral gold jewelry as our marriage gift by my mother. After our marriage, I took her for a Euro Trip for almost a month as promised, and then we moved to the USA. I spoilt her with holidays in New York, California, Las Vegas, Miami.…….

After 6 months of marriage, she duped me an amount of Rs 19 lakh in the name of medical expenses for her parents, I discovered this was a lie and alerted myself and stopped saying yes for unnecessary financial demands. However, I still provided her a home to live and loved her. I might have let it go if she had changed her behaviour. Well, I wasn’t lucky enough for that kind of peace from her.

When I questioned her illegal and unfair demands, she immediately decided to separate from me. It took just 8 months to break our marriage, and she filed divorce seeking Rs 2.5 crores as alimony.

The USA court denied the alimony as the marriage was just less than a year old and we did not have any child.…..JUSTICE WAS DELIVERED IN USA

She then flew back to India and immediately filed false dowry FIR against me and my aged parents who never lived with her. Soon after which an arrest warrant got issued against all accused in her FIR.

My entire family went through harassment and anxiety during this process. She didn’t leave any means to achieve her filthy desire, she got to a level of publishing our personal affair in the local newspaper which traumatised my aged parents and harmed my sibling’s social life status. It’s not over here folks!

Huh, she had the audacity to reach my employer in the USA through email and phone and sent numerous emails to my CEO, Vice President, Director, manager, and various co-workers portraying me as an absconding criminal and demanded my termination multiple times.

Her insanity level reached twitter, where she illegally posted very sensitive private information such as my Indian passport, My Driving License, My social Security number here in the US which hampered my security. She also tagged my employer and higher authorities from India and the US with the intention of extorting money. She strongly believed that I would reach my saturation and pay her which did not happen as I believed in getting justice.

I had to travel to India multiple times in a year to face the legal formalities and defend myself in court.

She demands a one-time settlement in crores, to take back the false cases, and settle everything outside court. The entire journey made me realize her marriage was a planned divorce to seek money and abandon me in 8 months of marriage. Wow, that is a good idea for lifetime alimony.

Throughout my situation, I have always respected the law and paid her a huge amount of monthly maintenance. She lied to the Indian judicial system and to me about her employment and claims to be unemployed. However, it did not take me a long time to find our her employment status.

I still wanted to settle it and paid more than 30 lakh for her maintenance to date. I need justice and I have decided to STOP paying her due to her discourteous behavior and constant extortion of money which has led me to financial difficulties. She has not left any means to destroy me, and my family, our dignity, and my career.

After I stopped my payments due to financial hardships caused by her, she immediately gets a levy warrant issued from the court against me for non-payment of maintenance amount and misused the arrest warrant by sending it to across to my workplace, social media claiming that I am a criminal.

Recently she tried to impound my passport and cancel my visa due to non-payment. She is well aware that I have no other source of income to survive or to pay her. Her psychotic behavior is a threat to our nation and everybody surrounding her.

Let me share the creepy side of my wife . She has forged my signature with RTI(Right to Information) using my ID (passport, Driving license photocopy which she had in her possession ), and gets my current records, which she misuses. If divorce is her aim, wouldn’t she fight the case and respect the law as I do? She is well aware of the fact that she will lose in the court and will not end up getting her alimony, due to which she is ruthless and strong-willed to destroy my future.

She got me terminated from my job in the year 2018 by providing false information to the United States Embassy stating my Indian passport was lost, and they are supposed to cancel my visa for security reasons.

I got stuck in India during the incident. She was well aware of the situation as I was attending court to settle our divorce. Her actions made me more stubborn to seek justice and not to pay her as she has received more than what she deserves emotionally and financially. I have gone through anxiety and mental stress costing me my job and career, and it doesn’t make sense to me to pay her more.

My wife has proved to be a sociopath, who desires my death naturally by stress or suicide. I belong to a middle-class family, and I have worked hard to reach this point in my life. I am the only source of income for my parents. Today I question her mental stability, her morals, and her greed for money as she is not willing to move on when I agreed for a settlement. It’s not a Man’s mistake in every scenario.” women can be wrong!”

In the last 5 years, I have traveled to India for about 20 times in order to attend court and has cost me a fortune.

• The court cases in India against women are not a cakewalk, which makes me write my story to give a heads-up to men like me and to women who believe in equality.
• My Wife has been successful in finding a lawyer who matches her insanity. I mean, if we had lawyers fighting for Nirbhaya rapists, this shouldn’t be surprising for you all. They are pioneers in delaying my court dates and hamper my work in The US. Traveling to India often with a full-time responsible role is not an easy task.
• Instances like seeking Medical Emergency during my witness date and avoiding my witnesses leading to delay in my case and many more stressful events were planned by her attorney .
• I requested video conferencing, but the court has denied me due to an objection from my opposite counsel making it impossible for me to survive during pandemic with all the travel restrictions across the globe.
• All the ‘fake’ cases are registered in my wife home town Bhilai, which is an unknown city to me, and they have the advantage of being localities and influence the proceedings including my lawyer due to which I have changed multiple lawyers and ended up spending a lot of money.
• I have been given short notices due to which I failed to appear in court. Traveling when I have a job in a foreign country is not an easy task. They utilised this situation and raised strong objections, pleading the court to pass the ex-party order and warrants. Yet again, I ended up paying extra money.
• It does not stop here. I have received life threats and I feel unsafe to travel to her hometown to attend court cases.

I HAVE NEVER MET SUCH A MINACIOUS WOMEN, I Affirm!

She uses her Twitter account to claim I am a criminal. It is an offense to do so because it’s up to the court to decide and I am confident to win this case.

The Entire journey has cost me my dignity. I have lost my savings, fighting for justice. Why is the Indian Judicial system biased towards women? Who gives authority to any person to be abusive and disclose personal information on social media?

I have lost my peace, serenity, and belief in love due to my marriage with my wife. It’s funny that in the Indian Court of Law if a male is accused, he is presumed to be guilty until he proves himself innocent. However, my question to the system is what is the charge if you file a false complaint and ruin someone’s life and slander social status? AND THE ANSWER IS my wife will be fined Rs 500 (less than 10$) for filing false cases. That’s all!

The Indian Judicial system is not performing the ground research on people like my wife who is a BTech from Bhilai Institute of technology and MBA from Symbiosis International University under a quota system and worked as a manager in companies like IBM, WIPRO, DELL in India and abroad. And now she claims to be unemployed and has no source of income other than her husband due to which she gains monthly maintenance as per my US salary in dollars.

This matrimonial case is the biggest battle for me, but I still believe in our legal system and I have complete faith that Justice will be served.

I will be going through the process of harassment until I prove myself in the court, and my wife is enjoying her job and income with no guilt. I have no source to know her relationship status. A con artist like her can never be single, so I just want to connect to all her friends and people who know her and let the world know that I am her current husband.

And any information about my wife is highly appreciable. This will help me to get justice and save other individuals from her vicious traps.

Thank You for reading my story!

I hope you have read both the articles above and still if you have not understood the gravity of the situation , believe me you are a fool. But for those who are wise and sane, I hope you have got the message. Truth be told that modern marriages have become a scam or a favored route to loot the NRI's and rich people. If you are based abroad then please work on strengthening your roots out there. Make some good friends and understand people who come from different countries. All immigrants carry a common ambition of working and hard and making it big. 

My advice to all eligible Indian men based abroad is that they should meet and date non-Indian women or Indian women who belong to the second or third generation immigrants. Believe me these women are more rational, understanding and accommodating than the ones you are planning to bring from India after marriage.

Stop worrying about the purity of cultures and genes that you want your children to have. What matters is that you find a spouse who will understand and support you after marriage not to mention that she will contribute financially and help you in household activities. Western women or immigrant women are rational and hard working, they know that life is not cake walk and one must strive hard in order to survive. Additionally they come with diverse skill sets like driving, grocery shopping, paying bills, cooking, housekeeping and laundry.I agree that Western countries have its own share of irresponsible entitled princesses but I am not including them here. I am talking about rational women who have a sense of responsibility.

The problem with many Indian men is that they still believe in this so called pure traditional Indian women who is loving and caring, believe me it is just a myth. Across India , even in small cities and towns, debauchery, degeneracy and decadence has become pervasive. Stop becoming that Beta Simp who is there just to fulfill the expectations of the entitled middle class princesses.You did not work so hard to take care of free-mongers. 

I hope have got my message loud and clear.

Bhaveen Sheth

The Single Indian Man.

When the married people try to shame the MGTOWs for their Lifestyle-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Shaming others has now become the new norm or what I would say the new normal. We shame others in person and troll people online. Anyone who does not follow the rules of the majority or does not conform to the set norms is shamed.

People are being shamed for their body structure, their thinking, colour, caste and creed. All this has been going on for decades. However lifestyle shaming is a new thing. We as Indians love to shame others who do not conform to the normal lifestyle.

So how can MGTOWs be kept out from this shaming. As a veteran MGTOW I have often been criticized for my choice of lifestyle, I am told that I am too miser, money minded and saving a lot of money. I just don't understand these married folks. They have their families and have to spend their money on them and why are they bothered with what we do with our salary? This is because they feel that we are not living up to the so called standards of the society.

In the age of minimalism and lean management, I fail to understand why do we require unwanted materialistic things that are so big and expensive. Why is it that we believe in so much of show off. false glorification and display for no reason. Is it important to brag about every other expensive thing you bought?

As MGTOW's our lifestyle is simple and relatively inexpensive. We have minimal needs. A small house, basic electronic equipments and a decent vehicle to commute. Do we need anything more? As a veteran MGTOW , I have a set of limited clothes and possess things that I needs for may regular use. I don't need to live in a house where I have to invite people for dinner or parties, I don't need a car or a bike to impress girls and I don't believe in wasting my hard earned money on trying to fit into the crowd. So long as I am content with what  I am doing and the way I am living, I am hardly bothered.

In the coming years many such married folks will taunt me and criticize me for the choice of my lifestyle. I will be told that I am saving money for no reason and will not take anything after I die, that I am not enjoying my lifestyle. I wish I could argue with these people and try to correct them by stating that expensive vehicles and house does not set a standard and one does not need to waste his money on trying to conform with the majority. But I don't. I realize that most of the married men are slaves of the society and the banking system. I choose not to argue with them.

To all my fellow MGTOWs, you will face lifestyle shaming at some point of your time and try not to get offended by them. Remember you have yourself to take care of and not people to impress, especially when people in the present times and fake and superficial.  

Why do so many distressed married men and divorced/separated Indian men commit suicide: Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Now that I am extremely comfortable with my MGTOW lifestyle, I try to look into a very interesting and neglected fact of our society on the reasons why so may married and divorced Indian men commit suicide in India. 

A normal web search on google throws up the following links:

Times of India:

Married men twice as likely to commit suicide than married w ..

Read more at:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/48220552.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst

Daman:

NCRB – Suicides: India Lost 97613 sons in 2019

https://www.daaman.org/post/ncrb-suicides-india-lost-97613-sons-in-2019

The Wire:

Reporter's Diary: Looking At Male Suicides in India

https://thewire.in/culture/reporters-diary-male-suicides-india

Scroll:

Married men are most likely to commit suicide in India

https://scroll.in/article/669061/married-men-are-most-likely-to-commit-suicide-in-india

If one actually goes through these articles,  all of them other than Daman (Men's Rights Website) puts the blame on patriarchy, toxic masculinity and mental health problems of men. Most of these media portals are runs by feminist and feminazi groups that have just have an agenda to spread a false narrative.

Blaming men for all problems is a time and tested tactic of the media. We all saw what happened in Sushant Singh Rajput murder case during the initial days when the left liberal media was shouting on mental health issues and how the same had afflicted Sushant Singh Rajput. Today the story has taken a different turn. However I don't want to shift focus on my topic, so let us discuss it.

In my opinion most of the Indian men have put the institution of  marriage on a pedestal. Most of these men live in a delusional world thinking that they will get the world's most loving and caring women not to mention beautiful.The aspiration for a wonderful married life starts when a man is his late teens. Relentless brainwashing through Bollywood movies and the society conditions most of the Indian men to live in a dream world wherein they loose focus with the ground reality.

Even in today's times of of Hoe and Thot culture, the men expect to have a holy than thou sacred wife who is pure. Yes such women do exist but they are a minority. The most....... well you all know what the truth is. 

Most of Indian men struggle and work extremely hard in order to achieve a good education and job, the single most important requirement to live a decent and respectable life in India. This is also a ticket to become an eligible bachelor in India's matrimonial aka MEAT market. After all an Indian is just worth of his annual CTC and sum total of his assets.

Haven't we heard the wisdom given by our elders "If you don't study and get a job, you will not get a wife and will remain unmarried" HAHAHHAA. I really laugh at this statement. But jokes apart, most men who have started on a successful career path think that they will get married and live a happy life ever after. No one really thinks what would happen if the marriage fails and things don't work out.

So here is what actually happens. Once the ceremonies are completed, the honeymoon is over and the couple gets back to their daily lives, the reality sets in and it hits extremely hard. The wife states that she did not want to marry the man in the first place, did it due to parental pressure and society, there is a boyfriend/lover from the past who comes from nowhere and the affair starts, the wife's parents interfere a lot trying to extract their pound of flesh from the groom, the husband isforced to fulfill the expensive demands of the wife that forces him to take EMI's, Car Loans and Home loans, many husbands go through a repetitive  never ending cycle of emotional abuse from their wives that destroys their self esteem. Things don't  stabilize even after having a child, the problems multiply exponentially.

And then the  tragedy strikes. The wife and her parents go to the police and the courts leveling all kinds of fake allegations against the husband. I guess this is the last nail in the coffin or the last straw that breaks the husband's back. The man and his family are declared  criminals just because they did not accede to the demands of the wife and her parents. Later the court cases take the toll on the man where he is shamed and has to face ignominy. Divorce cases end up in settlement wherein lakhs of rupees are paid as a one time separation cost, in some cases monthly alimony and child support is also paid. Many women alienate their children from their biological father. The father yearns to meet the child and yet he is denied basic visitation rights. Imagine what a man would go through if he is not able to meet and love his own child?

As humans we all get betrayed, sometimes by out neighbors, sometimes colleagues and even our friends but that is part and parcel of our lives, people change as per situations. However it is difficult for men when their own wives betray them, when they taunt and abuse them, when they file false criminal charges against them, when they take away their son/daughter and do not allow the men to meet their children. I guess this is what breaks them mentally and emotionally and then they decide to end their lives.

It should be noted that in the current era it is foolish to have expectations from someone and  be emotionally attached. There are evil manipulators all around. Indian men must start thinking rationally and logically. Having sky high expectations from a marriage is like making your own path for destruction. It is time that Indian men start realizing that marriage is not really worth the effort, be it financial or emotional. If marriage is solely based based on the job and salary of the man then problems are bound to erupt after marriage. It is time for Indian men to realize that they should not rush into a marriage just because they are at the right age. You can marry anytime you want provided you find an understanding partner. Stop wasting your time and resources after an institution that is based of lies and false promises.

This is my understanding of the reasons why married Indian men commit suicide. 

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

Stop judging people who have left their dysfunctional families: Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

Sometime back I had came across a  post wherein the Head of an Organization refused to hire a person who had cut off  ties with his family (parents and siblings). He said a person who cannot get along with his family and manage family relationships is not fit to work in an organization. Years back when I was doing my post graduation, one of my colleagues who was part of my circle made a statement that a person who is not attached to his/her own family cannot be trusted.

This is the problem with our country, just like marriage, family is considered to be a holy and pious  institution lacking any flaws. There is no concept of dysfunctional family as we the people of India do not believe in such things. Every family is good and there are no problems in it whatsoever. People hardly talk about dysfunctional families. After all we are a society of denial.

My profession and my travels across India has made me realize that there are major problems within Indian families, just no one wants to mention it. I understand that it is a personal choice. 

However what if someone wants to move away from such a toxic dysfunctional family and start a new life elsewhere? What if someone realizes that his/her family is dysfunctional and chooses to move out? What if someone decided to just leave such a dysfunctional family for his/her betterment? Is it wrong? Why are they ostracized?

I often read articles on how women should walk out of bad marriages and live a happy life, how a bad marriage of even 2 years leaves emotional scars upon the woman. If moving out of a dysfunctional marriage is considered as empowerment and liberation then why is leaving a dysfunctional family considered a taboo?

Does anyone actually know what happens within a dysfunctional family? How difficult is it to stay even for one day and tolerate tantrums of family members who have major emotional issues? I guess it is not easy to relate to this? Only a person from a toxic dysfunctional family will understand what goes on and what kind of emotional roller ride it is? 

There are major issues in such families starting with a couple that is never compatible with each other. Forced into marriage due to family pressure and endure a dead end dysfunctional marriage in order to comply with the norms of the society is a common case. Such couples even have children as they have to show the proof of their masculinity and femininity to the world. Children born in these families are at the receiving end of the family toxicity. Combine this with narrow minded elderly patriarchs and matriarchs living in the family who are the followers, defenders and enforcers of traditional values, norms and customs that they think are necessary to be passed on and enforced on each and every generation. Passing on good manners, culture, values and etiquette is not wrong but enforcing your own personality and dominating the lives of other by curbing their freedom is not acceptable. Everyone wants autonomy to do what they want and as they please.  

Then there are those toxic families who have a problem with the entire world. Seems like that they cannot tolerate anyone outside their family circle. They judge and criticize each and everyone, they fight with all their neighbors for no reason. No one wants to be associate with such a family. Such families do not know how to live normally within a community, they get ostracized and ridiculed. 

Any child growing up in such families faces major problems related to self esteem, confidence and ability to negotiate in the world outside their homes. They are often the prisoners to their own thoughts and prejudices that have been inculcated in them by years of upbringing and conditioning. It is not easy to adjust with the outside world. Children from these families are often ridiculed and looked upon with derision and contempt. These children find it difficult to adjust with normal people.

So long as these children are associated with their dysfunctional families they will not be able to become sane adults. The ones with wisdom realize that its is necessary to move away from their toxic families if they want to start a normal life. For those who stay back and remain with their dysfunctional families, life is not good. They become a replica of their own dysfunctional parents or family members finding it difficult to adjust with the normal world.

I just want to ask anyone who is reading this post "What is wrong if someone leaves his/her toxic dysfunctional family?" " What is wrong if someones severs relationships with family members who are acerbic?" We come across so many corporate coaches and motivational speakers who give long speeches on avoiding negative people and staying away from them as it is detrimental to an individual's progress, then why no one talks about toxic dysfunctional families?

The feminist media empowers divorce and separation by stating that women should not waste their best years by staying with a wrong person then why should a normal person stay with a dysfunctional family even for a day.

Millions of childhoods have been ruined, careers and marriages destroyed due to toxic dysfunctional families. It is time for anyone reading this post to seriously introspect. Every individual has a right to live a dignified life, a life filled with joy and happiness and he/ she can chose it individually. 

Judging a person on his/her family background is not right. Everyone has a story and we should learn to respect a person. Everyone is fighting his/her own  battles, the least that we can do is empathize and try to understand. People are products of their circumstances and the situations that they have faced. 

People who leave their dysfunctional families in order to have a better and peaceful start are strong, capable and independent decision makers. They have the courage to face the world on their own and there is nothing that will stop them. Learn to accept such people. In today's times this is the new normal.

Bhaveen Sheth

Why marriage is a life long financial liability for Indian men: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Unlike Western men who understand the responsibilities that come with a married life, Indian men are hardly aware of the same. The problems lies with our society. Selective brainwashing of Indian men have made them naive about the responsibilities both social and financial that come with marriage. The below picture below depicts  the financial liability that comes with a marriage:

So here are the financial costs and the liabilities that come with a marriage:

Costs associated with search for a suitable bride. Payment in matrimonial websites and matchmakers.

Costs associated with meeting potential brides and their families. Hotels, restaurant bills and and travel costs.

Costs associated with consultation with Swamis on horoscopes.

Costs associated with finalizing the marriage alliance.

Costs of Roka, Shagun and Engagement.

Time between engagement and marriage. Courtship costs: Outings with fiancee and taking her to expensive restaurants.

Costs associated with marriage: Marriage videos, dance, ceremony and reception. This includes everything.

Costs associated with Honeymoon: Luxurious Foreign Travel.

Buying an expensive car on an EMI. Even a second car for the wife or even  a 2 wheeler.

Home loans for buying a 2 or 2 BHK Flat because no woman will marry you if you don't have your own house.

Costs associated with buying fancy furniture and home decor.

Costs in hiring a maid and a cook because the empowered educated wife cannot do housework

Costs associated a starting a family. A child and hospitalization.

Expenses related to giving parties and celebrating with friends.

Expenses associated with attending to the family functions of  the wife's family and buying gifts.

Expenses associated with entertaining the in-laws.

Expenses related to maintaining the lifestyle of the madamji wives.

School fees and college fees for children.

Add on expenses when the wife decides to quit her job and stay at home.

Costs associated with maintaining a lifestyle in order to stay relevant in the hi fi society.

And so on an so forth.

Now let us say what costs are associated when a marriage breaks and separation takes place:

Hiring a lawyer and paying his fees.

Costs associated with legal proceedings.

Opportunity costs in attending to court proceedings.

Life long alimony and one time separation costs.

These are the costs associated with a marriage. I hope Indian men will understand and reason it out. Don't go with all that bullshit that your parents and the society is telling you on the advantages of marriage and a life partner. Stop lying to yourself. Imaging how much you have to slog to earn in order to live a married life. Ask yourself? Is it worth it? And what sacrifices and compromises will you be making just to get married and life a so called happy married life.

This post is an eye opener to all single Indian men are thinking of getting married. I am not discouraging you. This is just to spread awareness on the lifelong financial liability associated with marriages in India.

For MGTOW's, you will agree that you made the right decision of remaining single and following the MGTOW lifestyle.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW