There are many Indian men who take a wise decision to not get married and remain single. It is not necessary for them to have had a bitter heart break and be a loser. Just that they have realized that the institution of marriage is not their cup of tea and they don't have what it takes to take the journey of marriage ahead. To each one his own. And yet Single Indian men are looked upon as incomplete or failures. While the media, time and again has reported on the discriminatory treatment meted out to single Indian women by the Indian society, no one mentions a word on the similar or maybe worse treatment given to single Indian men. In a satirical and self depreciating write up, I want to share how the larger society perceives us single Indian men. In a first person conversation, I am telling my thoughts to a sir and madam and expressing my views.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I don't understand why have your expressed shock and astonishment when I told you that I am single and unmarried. Why? Is it uncommon for you to come across men like us? Or just because your sons and nephews are happily married and well settled, you are expecting every other man do the same. I can understand, when you were young every man was expected to get married and start a family.
Yes Sir/Madam, In you opinion and thoughts I am a failure, complete failure. I am 40, single, unmarried and childless. I have missed out on boat of marriage and have been condemned to live a miserable life all alone. This is what you think. A man without a wife and children is incomplete and useless. A man without a family has no identity. I can understand.
I don't have a house of my own and live in a rented apartment or may I say , a working men's hostel with a room of my own. In your eyes I am still a young man who has not gained maturity.
You may think I am living a wayward irresponsible life, a man who does not have anyone to take care of or who is not answerable to anyone.
You see, I just own a small care and a mid segment 2 wheeler. My car is Tata Nano, highly unimpressive. It is for my convenience, however as you are a status oriented, you do not appreciate my choice of a car.
Even though I am a thorough gentleman and professional in my conduct with people, you have your own doubts over me. You think that I am an immoral, characterless person. Some of the people of your society even think that I am pervert who has a bad eye on women. Why Sir/Madam? Why do you think so? Have you put all single Indian men in once category?
Whenever I speak on the gender biased laws and inequality face by men in our society, you laugh at me? Why? Can't you accept the reality? I guess you never had to face such a situation but many couples of your age have faced false cases at the hand of their daughter in laws or sister in laws. You just don't understand that I have become more aware of these things through reading and following the Men's rights movement.
You have an objection if I enjoy all by myself ? Why? Are all Indian men expected to get into the unspoken system of slavery that comes in the name of family and marriage? Why should each and every Indian man play the role of a provider and protector? Why can't Indian men enjoy their own time of peace and solitude? What is your problem if we go out and dine out alone at restaurants, go to multiplex all by ourselves and explore new places in India and abroad? Don't we have a life and don't we have the right to enjoy?
Why do you have a problem if we seek companionship of women? Why are you so hurt? Especially you, the man. Are you jealous that we are having a girlfriend? Why do you call us immoral characterless pervert? Are we harassing or molesting the girls and women in the neighborhood? If there a law that prevents 30 plus single Indian man to be in a relationship with a woman. If a relationship is out of mutual consent, why then are your objecting? You people especially living in residential housing complexes and apartments behave like the moral police. You remind me of the Mutawah (moral police) in Saudi Arabia or the Basij Militia in Iran who are officially given the responsibility of upholding the moral values of the society. Close to India, we have the Bajrag Dal that harasses young couples siting in parks and targets them during Valentine's Day. Somehow I feel that you too must have a member of the such moral protection groups during your younger years.
You challenge my manliness as I did not produce any kids. Why man? Are kids a proof of ones manliness? No wonder we have now reached a population of Rs 130 crores as each and every Indian man wants to prove his manliness. In India, men just have kids without giving any thought of whether he is emotionally and financially prepared to take care and raise that child. You see sir, we Indians are not practical people, we are emotional people, driven by a false sense of pride. But then again why do you have a problem if I have no children? I know that behind my back you call me a napunsak nalla (impotent wasted man). I don't give a damn to what you think.
You state that I am living a boring and miserable life just because I have no family. Tell me sir, are the married men living the best years of their lives/ I see most of them concerned about the finances and welfare of their families. Most of them have been trapped into the vicious cycle of care, education and home loans. On the other hand I am free, I am not under any debt. Perhaps you don't understand that there is something known as mental peace and emotional health. We Indians don't care about it as we feel it is a western concept. However most of the married men are currently going through some form of emotional distress as they are burdened by responsibilities. I have none, I am a free man. My mental health is so good. I am not compared or nagged by a wife as I don't have any.
Yes sir/madam. This is what I thought of sharing. I am representing and speaking on behalf of many single men like me who have decided not to get married and remain single. We don't want any kind of help or assistance from anyone. We are happy being on our own. We are the followers of the MGTOW Lifestyle.
I end my post by stating that birds who are caged for their entire life will always think that flying is a disease. This, sir/madam, applies to you also.
Thank you and have a nice day
Bhaveen Sheth
Indian MGTOW
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