I like to write down and share my own experiences on the insulting and humiliating matrimonial meetings that I have faced during my 20s and 30s. I was then a young indealistic guy, fresh out in the world after completing my post graduation and starting a new job. Like all men of my age I dreamt of getting married and starting a family of my own.
Little did I know what was in store for me, I used to think that being a self made man would make me looked upon as a respectable person but that was not the case. In our country people judge you based on your family background. It is what defines you as a person. Sadly I did not have any. Being an adult orphan , with no family to represent me, put me in a difficult position.
The parents of potential brides judged me, my integrity, morals, behaviour and character. No one was willing to consider me, I guess they had trust issues. What is your background? Where is the rest of your family? How can we give away our daughter to a man who does not have any family? You must be a fraud? Don't you have anyone from your family to represent you? How is that possible?
What I did not understand is why did these people agree to speak to me or meet me in the first place when I had clearly stated everything about my background?
I also got matrimonial interests from women whom no would marry. I believe they were a Hobson's choice. They were not getting a match from a so called suitable or decent families and they only had me as a choice. I guess in India , orphans have no options.
In my early 30s, I decided to live a single life. By the time I turned 34, the MGTOW movement had come to India and the JIO Internet blitzkring took place in 2016. More and more single Indian men started connecting with each other online and shared the benefits of MGTOW lifestyle. I found joy in taking up the MGTOW lifestyle. My involvement in men's rights activism and subsequent talks with aggrieved men fighting matrimonial disputes/cases made me realize that marriage in India was just a sham.
Today, I am extremely happy at the lifestyle decision I made.I look back over the years and laugh that those meetings, yes they were insulting and humiliating but it was good that marriage never happened. It also made me realize how materialistic people are in the Indian society. While forging an alliance with people , they are only looking for their own long term benefits.
This was my experience and I thought of sharing the same. I will also be writing a post on the humiliations that today's men face during matrimonial meetings.
Bhaveen Sheth
Indian MGTOW
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