When a marriage goes sour, it is an all out world war: Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Yes, you read it right, when a marriage goes sour in India, it becomes an all out world war. This is the harsh reality. No one acknowledges it but it is true.

We Indians have too many expectations from a marriage and a future life partner. We are delusional, unrealistic and live in a dreamworld of our own. Our thinking is influenced by Bollywood and Indian Television shows. Everyone expects a perfect marriage and a wonderful life partner.

But what happens when things don't work out the way you wanted? What happens when the marriage falters? What happens when your partner does not meet your expectations?

Do we part amicably? Do we say goodbyes and move on? NO!! We don't.

There is an all out world war or I would put it as war of the families. We exact revenge on the other and put down the other family. We do litigation, go to courts, ask for divorce settlements, alimony and property. There are allegations and counter allegations, many of them are false. We wash out dirty family linen in public. We have showdowns in the police stations and the courts.

The woman and her family seeks vengeance and retribution. No opportunity is spared in destroying the husband and the family. Go to any family court and you will see people abusing and fighting with each other.These people are driven by rage, ego and hatred.

In no other nation will one see hatred to this level. Rational people separate through mutual divorce but then are we Indians rational? In marital relationships there is either extreme love or extreme hatred, nothing like normal.

And this is the bitter reality. Family breakdowns are increasing and we get to see family wars erupting.

And here the Indian MGTOW cautions his fellow single Indian men, is marriage really worth it? Especially when  the woman's family is hell bent on murdering you if things don't work out.

Think, introspect and rationalize.

The MGTOW life is the best you can ever have.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW.

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Let the married folks live their lives and we will live our own

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer says Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

On and off we the single Indian men become sad when we look at the married folks, There is the perfect family, the perfect wife and the perfect children. OH!!!! The grass is always  green on the other side. 

But that is what life is and one thing that I have learnt is that one should never take anything for granted. The married folks always boast about their marital status and try to put down the singles. However married people have their own set of problems, problems that are different from what we single people encounter. Hence you should never compare yourself with married people.

Let them (the married folks) live their lives, let them raise families and do what they want. We the single men should go ahead living our lives. We need to build our experience and do things that normal people are not able to do. Yes, we can do it. Single hood comes with a lot of freedom and independence. We need to develop memoirs that will be cherished over our lifetimes. 

Go ahead, define and assert you individuality and live your life. Give your best shot and never get disheartened.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Why do some Indian Men remain single

With the changing times and influx of a western lifestyle , one can often notice the gradual changes that have come in the society.

One of the institutions that is being affected is marriage, as a lot of changes have happened in the last 10 years, changes that never happened within the Indian society in the last 1000 years. It is good to see a rapid turnaround in the society.

Coming to the topic of the single Indian man/male, it is still rare for a man not be  married. You can observe a lot of unmarried women in their 30's and 40's. They have their own reasons but you will find a limited number of Indian men who stay single all their lives.

In India three things, i.e. Bollywood, cricket and marriage are the most important preoccupations of the people. It becomes an inseparable part of their lives.

Indian men don't stay single, they are somehow married, no matter how old, dumb or ugly they may be, they have to get married. Now you understand why is the entire nation obsessed after getting Salman Khan and Rahul Gandhi married!!!!. Men are the prized possessions in the family and the family gets them married at any cost.

But then,  one does find Indian men who are still not married living a single life and unlike their female counterparts who have accepted singledom peacefully, such men are sad and brooding.

Here I would like to profile the Single Indian Male/men who stay single all their lives, majority out of their own fate and circumstances and not by choice.

1. The perpetual losers: These are men who are just ordinary, ordinary in looks, ordinary in personality and they hold mediocre jobs that are boring and does not pay a good salary. Yet , like ordinary mortal human beings, they aspire to get married. But, things don't work for them. In the Indian society, every Indian father wants to get his daughter married to the higher economic level in the society. These males do not find suitable matches and remain single all their lives. Common examples of such men are: the office boy, the driver, the clerk , the cashier at a shopping mall, the security guard etc etc.

On Single Indian Men who become a failure on professional and personal fronts

Having written a lot on the positive sides of the single Indian man/male , I , Bhaveen Sheth would today  like to focus today on the single Indian men who have failed both on the personal and professional front

So, who are these men????????? They are smaller in number; however their population is rising day by day.

Here is a basic profile: Mostly in their Mid 30’s and 40’s doing just mediocre jobs, dragging themselves day by day, having no vision on what to do in their lives. Their behavioural traits comprise of frustration, angst, hatred, jealousy, depression, sadness, gloom and many more characteristics of a negative personality.

Time and again, I have come across such type of men. For some reason or the other they just happened to be left out, left out in all aspects of life i.e. education, family, marriage, social integration.

One may never know what actually happened??? Was it a bad family upbringing? Was it a dysfunctional family? Was it the negative influence of bad  peers and friends? Was it a negative personality? Was it the absence of opportunities?

Words of wisdom from a 46 year old single Indian Male

My dear Single Indian Male friends,

There are times when we would like to look up to some seniors or must I say veterans in the league of the single Indian men. However there seem to be none. Looks like the Indian society has made  a decision to hunt down the last single Indian  male and get him married.

However browsing through google for some sensible advice from a middle aged single Indian man, I came upon the following article:

46, Male, Single. And no less fraught

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/46-male-single-and-no-less-fraught/article5929262.ece

Here is a person in his forty's telling us on how the Indian society treats him. It does not respect his privacy and often taunts him on his single status.

Some of the statements form his article:

They seem to suggest: get married and all your problems will vanish. Do they mean to say married people have no problems? Aha! They do, they do. But problems of the married are somehow more fashionable and more respectable than the problems of single people. Still a bachelor at forty-six, I now realise that my choice to remain single was as smart a move a man chased by a yelping puppy can make by jumping to safety into a pit full of scorpions and cockroaches. (Don’t ask me how they, the stingers and the ticklers, live together. In such a pit, they do!)

When Indian society turns its men into economic slaves

Browsing through the facebook profile of a person, I came across this video. It was heart wrenching when I watched it and it did bring tears in my eyes.

I dedicate this video to all men of this great country who fight a battle every day, a battle for themselves and their families, I salute the hard work done , the difficulties faced and pain suffered on a daily basis by majority of the Indian men just in order to fit in to the so called norms of the Indian Society.

Please watch this video in the link below:

It is sad, really sad, that the entire media in this country  focuses on women's empowerment, women's upliftment and women's safety.

No one ever focuses on the problems that Indian men have to go through, be it in India or abroad.

Our society at times is really strange. Everyone is made to sacrifice something or the other in order to meet the so called material expectations of the society.

From times immemorial , men in the Indian society have been asked to take responsibilities as a father, brother or son. While the women live within the protective confines of their homes, it is the men who go out and face all kinds of difficulties. Yes, I understand that times have changed and  now even the women have started stepping out, but still things don't change.

Single, Orphan, Destitute and a not feeling sorry about it

In less than a month I will complete 32 years of my life on earth. When I look back , I will remember the old times, some filled with happiness and some with sadness.

Everyday I undertake efforts in order to achieve a better life and of course a better standard of living. However time and again, my past doesn't leave me alone, being branded as an orphan makes  it difficult for me to integrate into the mainstream Indian society.

So here I write , once more, on who I am and what I am. I am an Orphan, I am a destitute and I am single, single by choice, single by destiny and single due to ostracization and marginalization done by the Indian society.

And do I feel sorry about it??????? NO!!!! The answer is a plain no!!!!!!!! Why should I feel bad?????Why should I have self pity on myself????? For what??? What wrong have I done????

No,  I am not sorry for myself, my condition and the problems that I face.

With the years going by , my resolve becomes  stronger day by day, I see the Indian society from a different perspective and often laugh at its eccentricities.

Jibes from men who are delaying their marriage or are choosing to stay single

While browsing through google, I happened  to come across 2 jibes written down by men on delaying marriage or choosing to stay single as they are not able to meet the sky high expectations of the modern Indian women. The same follows below:

Karthik, Bangalore, India: I'm 31, male, live in Bangalore with a little above-average salary of 35,000 rupees per month and am working in a major newspaper. I have been searching for a bride for the past five years. Every matrimonial website I've been through shows that the majority of the women expect a man to be in the engineering or a banking profession with a salary above 50,000 rupees a month. And also in reference to the person featured in this story, the majority of women present in these matrimonial websites are above 27. These women are well educated, working in the IT and non-IT sector, earning a good salary and expect their dream Mr Right to be better educated and earn more than them. The majority of men with these features don't marry women of their equal out of fear they lose respect and it can in the worst case, lead to divorce. I still don't understand why women want better than themselves, this makes men run away from them and they (woman) lose a guy.

Pratik, India/Hungary: I am a 27-year-old male from India, studying in Budapest, Hungary. This situation is just not limited to girls, but boys also face similar situations. When I turned 26, my parents and other relatives started talking about my marriage. Instead, I applied for a two-year course in Hungary to study more, but the other reason was to delay marriage. At the moment I feel like I do not want to go back to India because they will immediately start insisting that I get married. However, I do not want to return unless I have a well-paid job with stability of mind. For my family, 28, would be the limit to get married, I would not get decent girls and my value in the "market" will go down. I resent this. Whatever I have achieved, I have done so with my hard work and commitment. I do not want someone who just wants me in terms of salary, my looks or my height. Marriage cannot be the ultimate destinations of all human lives. It is an important part but is it mandatory?

Hahahahhahahahaaha, so much for getting married in the Indian society.

A hilarious video on matrimonial meetings

Greetings my friends, I hope you all are doing good. This happens to be one of those short blog posts.

Every single Indian male worth his salt must have gone through the experience of the matrimonial interview. The video shows the same. Though it shows the reality the satire and comedy is amazing.

The wants and demands of women never change and they keep on going up. Please watch the video, I am sure it is going to make your day.

Pics from participation during the Marathon Season

Winter brings a lot of marathon events. The single Indian male participated in the unity run, the IRMA run and the greenathon. It was real fun. The pictures below depict it all :

On being Happily unmarried or being unhappily married

I come across a lot of people who often say that they are happily married when they introduce themselves.

And I,  the single Indian Male often wonders, is it all true??? How come everyone is happily married???? HAHAHAHAHAHAA, its all a bluff. We Indians love faking a happy marriage in front of people.

The single people are often made to feel unhappy , courtesy their single status.

And then I say, where is the happiness in a dysfunctional marriage?? Where is the happiness in being stuck with a person whom you cant even  relate to??? Where is the happiness in living a dull mediocre life???

No pun intended, but majority of Indian men get married for two things, just two things. Sex and society approval. That's it. That is the only thing that one gets married for. And when the sexual hangover is over, the society approval has come through, life just becomes boring. There is nothing special.

No one, just no one has ever advertised the concept of a happy single life in India. No one has portrayed a happy unmarried life. Why???? Cause such things don't sell dude. Just imagine if solo living was strongly advertised it would have become a threat to the entire matrimonial industry.

And if given a choice of what I the single Indian male would like to choose a single life, at least it guarantees happiness.

Is the single Indian male an object of pity???

At times some weird thoughts do come to my mind. Are we,  the single Indian men an object of pity/sympathy for others?? Are we looked down as someone who are sad, depressed and in need of companionship???

With the dawn of the 21st century the single Indian male has started to evolve and is now on his way to create a niche of his own. Please note , when I say the single Indian male, I mean the refined elite educated man who has a class of his own, not  the frustrated average single Indian looser who is a walking hard on and  desperate to get married.

So coming back to the topic, I wonder why does the society treat us in such with loads of sympathy? Why do some people feel sad for us??? Why do they feel that lady luck never shone on us??

This may be due to two reasons as per my thought process. 

On boastful married Indian husbands

Collecting experiences from my every day life , I choose today to write on the boastful married Indian husbands.

Its common to come across married Indian women who keep on boasting of their children's, their capabilities, skills, achievements etc. It looks as if they are the only ones who have produced children in this world. 

But one also comes across married men who keep on boasting, they boast of their wives, their children etc. Now if an olympics were to be held in faking happiness in a marriage, I bet Indians would win the first prize.

But today i would lilke to go into the mindset of these very men, the men who just can't stop boasting!!!

And why??? Why has this become my personal vendetta???? Well , as the single Indian male, I happen to come across these looser scum bags who boast and in a way insult and humiliate the single Indian male by telling him how he has lost out in life, on how he is missing out the good things that come with marital bliss.

So here we go. Who are these F@#$%ed up creatures???. Well!!! The average Joe. Nothing special about them. If a person is happy and content with his life, why should he boast in the first place??  Only an unhappy or an insecure man will go around boasting trying to show how happy he is!!!

An inspiring qoute for the single Indian male

Often we are criticized and accused of not living by the norms of the Indian society. Today I would like to share a quote with all of you which will inspire us and make us feel proud of our single status.

And you call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male

With a heavy heart the single Indian male would like to pour his strong statements aimed to all the members of the Indian society, expressing his grievance to the mistreatment meted out to the brotherhood of the single Indian Male.

Having crossed into my thirties, I am often reminded about my single status by many members if the Indian Society. When my answer to their question is NO!! I have chosen to remain single, i get barrage of criticisms which are described below:

"You are running away from responsibility." " You are breaking the society traditions " " You are a rebel." "You have high expectations from marriage." "You think too much." " You are money minded, selfish." "You just can't get along with anyone". There is plenty more but for now I would like restrict.

And so here is my statement to all you members who call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male:

While I am happily living my day to day life , you are brooding and cursing your miserable married life but you call me the Selfish Self Centered Single Indian Male.

On Buidling that small beautiful world of yours

The Diary of the Single Indian Male would like to discuss on the topic on building a small world of yours, that small beautiful world of  yours filled with peace, joy, love and happiness.

As the wise single Indian male i would like to enumerate a few points below:

DOTSIM-On the need to keep oneself positively engaged

DOTSIM stands for the diary of the Single Indian Male.

Positive Engagement, what does that mean, some of the single Indian men must be thinking of getting engaged to someone positively!!!! HAHAHAHHA, no my friends , positive engagement is about keeping oneself engaged in activities which have a positive outcome.

Living alone/single is not easy, that also in the Indian Society,situations at times can drive you mad. Many of us have decent jobs and we may love our work, but there is a life after 5 O clock, there is a life on weekends, there is a life during holidays.

Tips on Watching a Movie in a Multiplex Alone, all by yourself

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male.

Hello Friends,

Wish you all a very Happy Janmashathami!!!!!!!!! (Please Excuse the Spelling)

We all , as the Single Indian Males love to watch movies ( at least 90 percent of the guys reading this post)

And what would it take to watch your favourite movies that have  been released recently in  Multiplexes over the city.

                           

But then there comes a problem, and what would that be?????? Hmmmm, how to watch a movie alone.

After all we live in the Bloody Indian Society , well know for its discrimination towards the Single people.

But don't worry my friends, there is plenty of advice here on how to go about it.

First, just don't worry, pick your wallet, walk in to a multiplex, buy a ticket and watch the show.Initially it may be difficult but then you will get used to it,life is all about experimenting and experiencing.

Please do not depend on someone to accompany you. You are single so learn to enjoy your single life, there is no point in feeling insecure or guilty watching a movie all by yourself in a Multiplex, after all you go to shit in the washroom  alone , you don't take anyone along with you, Do you?????

Avoid the first day first show, that also the nights and the late nights, you will find the multiplex jam packed, the ticket rates raised to a higher level and of course the crowd will consist of the families and the extended families, who will end of talking  non stop throughout the movie, thus murdering your entertainment.Also try to avoid night and late night shows on weekends for the obvious reasons.

The best times to watch a movie in a multiplex for a Single Indian Male is on Weekdays, Morning and afternoon shows and Morning shows on Saturday and Sunday Mornings. Reasons , well , cheaper costs, less crowd, and good entertainment.

Take a half day leave  from your work and watch the movie, get up early on a Sunday and rush to the nearest multiplex to catch up with the Morning show, you will hardly find any families and will be able to watch the movie peacefully.

Eat something before you go to the multiplex, don't spend money on buying the snacks from inside when you know that you can buy the same thing outside at 1/10th the price. Alternatively after watching the movie, go and find some good eatery outside and fill your stomach.

Decide on what kind of movie you want to watch in a Multiplex, don't waste your hard earned money watching gibberish bollywood movies which you can easily download on your system through torrent. Also find out the multiplexes which screen award winning special movies which are often not watched by the general population.

Dress and groom up properly before going to watch a movie, just don't wear anything and end up looking like a slob. After all, the man who goes to watch a movie alone should look impressive. Carry something to pass your time in the waiting lounge while waiting for the movie to start . I mostly carry a book or a magazine. You can also get busy with your cell phone and browse the internet or play a game on your phone. Just be engaged, you should not feel depresses that everyone is a couple or a crowd and you are the only Mr.Single.

Do find the show timings and if you realize that the multiplex is screening two of your favorite movies, you may watch the movies back to back.

So be confident, be happy, take your chance and watch the movie all alone by yourself, because the Single Indian Male in India has every right to live and enjoy his life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more

Bhaveen Sheth:DOTSIM-On not getting depressed by Facebook and other Social Media Uploads

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male

Social Media, something that revolutionized the way we communicated. The decade of 2000's saw the emergence of two forms of online social media, first it was orkut and then it was facebook, twitter was a distant cousin and became interesting for microbloggers.

But my discussion today in not on different types of social media's. It is on how the single Indian male gets affected by the same.

Affected!!!! By Social Media!!!!! I mean you couldn't be serious????????

Yes I am!!!! Imagine , you joined the Social Medial mostly Facebook to get in touch with your friends and just be in the league. This was mostly during your college days. You and your friends then got settled in their respective jobs, happy as ever.

Bhaveen Sheth:DOTSIM: Single, Partly due to Destiny, Partly by compulsion and partly by choice

DOTSIM stands for the Diary of the Single Indian Male:

Today the Single Indian Male Bhaveen Sheth writes the reasons on why he is still single:

Destiny, compulsion and choice!!!! Three words , when they meet an intersection, they define my single status.

I have time and again mentioned in my previous blogs, that I am an Orphan, having lost my parents at an early age and of course having no one to stand by my side , i have worked my way to my present professional level.

The self made man in often looked upon with respect and honour, this may apply to other countries and societies. In India and the Indian society the self made man has never got his due. Above everything Family background determines your core identity and not you an an individual self.

In a society that prizes eligible bachelors and suitable boys as potential suitors for marriage, i happen to be left as an outcast. Not that I am a looser of some sort. I have a masters degree, a decent and a respectable job, i earn a good salary, have got enough savings, my future career prospects are bright, a property matter is in litigation and soon i may inherit it. But as I have no family and at present I am living like a homeless destitute in a boys hostel, i am not considered to be marriageable material.

The Society does not accept me, even though it accepts accused rapists and murderers who have serious criminal charges pending against them in the court of law and yet they get married. Sometimes it makes me laugh at the double standards of the Indian Society.

People of my category cannot love or marry someone because we have no family background. 

Strong compulsions from the Indian  Society has forced me to make a parallel. existence for my own self away from the society. And tell you what I have no problems with that. 

Among the eligible, i am the ineligible , among the suitable i am the unsuitable, among the desired i am the undesirable, among the accepted , i am the unaccepted.

The last reason for being single is choice, this has taken importance in the later years of my life , late 20's and early 30's. It is then that wisdom dawned upon me and i realized that I was better of staying single.

Traveling to different parts of India, moving to different organizations, i met a broad spectrum of people and had an open view of their lives.Majority were married and believe me , their life was a living hell. However , they faked it, they faked that they had a happy married life, they faked that they were content with their lives, they faked that they were satisfied with their jobs.

If an Olympics were to be held in Faking happiness, Indians would get all the prizes.

Truth was that they were living a miserable life, married to wrong spouses, everyday fighting and screaming, frustrated with life, frustrated with jobs, no satisfaction in life, no sex life, no creativity, a life devoid of excitement , a life lived merely by protocols,routines and norms. HOW PATHETIC!!!!! 

The truth was and the truth is that majority of the people in the Indian society are merely existing and not living.

I introspected myself and asked was I also going to live a life like my fellow Indians??? A life of misery, pain, hatred, dejection and dissatisfaction??????? I looked up in the Sky and saw a lonely eagle flying, happy and content with life and then i looked at the creatures on the ground and i mostly saw street dogs. Street dogs live a miserable life and so do my fellow Indians and it is sad that majority Indians have chosen to live this way either to follow the societal norms or to meet someone else s great  expectations.

And so I conclude the closure of this Blog post on why I am single.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the say, will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth