Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM- They just don't understand us!!

Bhaveen Sheth, the writer of this blogpost writes on the lack of understanding or to put it as misunderstanding that people have about singles in India. Indian society makes its own presumptions and takes us for granted. So here, I state ,why people do not understand us?

People don't understand.They just don't understand the trials and tribulations that we (singles) have faced. They just don't understand the battles we put on everyday in living a single life.They just don't understand our loss, grief and suffering. They just don't understand that we lost our parents, that we come from dysfunctional and separated  families. They just don't understand that we grew up in an atmosphere devoid of love and affection.They just don't understand that we are products of  fractured parenting.They just don't understand the countless solo nights and solitary evenings we spend dreaming for a better life.They just don't understand that our own birthdays and religious festivals have stopped being of any importance to us.They just don't understand the emotional deprivation we undergo.They just don't understand on how hard we tried to be a part of the Indian society and how we were debarred.They just don't understand the inner demons we battle everyday.

There is plenty to write on the lack of understanding that people have for us, but I will stop my writing here.I hope that single people who come from similar backgrounds will empathise with this.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back will be a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth- DOTSIM- Director Kanu Behl speaks on his dysfunctional family

Bhaveen Sheth - the writer of this blog puts down the true revelations of Indian film director Mr.Kanu Behl. He has directed a movie TITLI that was released in October 2015. In a website he stated that he drew inspiration to direct this  movie based on his own experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family.

Mentioned below is his statement:

I grew up in a typically patriarchal North Indian family, fighting the dominant presence of my father and the apparent tyranny of him forcing everything down my throat. I rebelled and tried to get out. Run away whenever possible… sometimes even getting close.

The disappointments of aborted attempts aside, each time the desire got stronger. Until eventually, I managed to get to film school, where I decided to construct my own world from scratch. Deleting everything that I hated about my family and their way of life. I made my own rules. Swore to live by them. And setup the utopia. Intent on making things happen my way. The perfect way! However, slowly realization set in that the obsession to get rid of oppression had become so that I had almost imbibed it within myself completely. I was slowly, almost invisibly, becoming what I had hated. In totally different, yet scarily similar ways, I had started behaving like an oppressor towards people who were close to me in my life.

That is what Titli is about. That family is who you are. That roots cannot be dug out. That freedom is not escape. And what the protagonist does when he sets face with this realization. Because I would like to believe that there is a way back, however treacherous, towards home and true ʻfreedomʼ.

Titli is an award winning movie. A movie that anyone who has grown up in a dysfunctional family must watch.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the I promise to be back with a lot more

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Kuch bhi ho jaaye , bete ki shaadi to karwa ke chodenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Bhaveen Sheth-The writer of this blog would like to write on the parental obsession that prevails in India to get their sons married.

Translating the heading into english it means that come what may, we will get our son married , by hook or crook.

This is a common statement spoke in almost all families across Indian and even abroad where there is a large Indian diaspora.These families have sons who have now reached a marriageable age.It does not matter if their sons have any major drawbacks or shortcomings.

Since ancient times marriage has been a sacred institution in our country.Getting ones son married has always been a sign of prestige and honour for the family. This behaviour is strongly seen in families across north India.

However things have started to change. A skewed male female ratio, rise in educated and empowered women, growing awareness of women's rights and shortage of brides.Indian society is now at its crossroads,

Earlier in some of my previous blogs I have written on how some Indian men don't stand eligible to get married because of many reasons. They have their own shortcomings that have never been addressed.

Parents know everything about their sons, but instead of addressing and correcting the shortcomings they turn a blind eye and their son is the best and are not willing to hear anything against him.

And what do these parents do? They resolve to cheap tactics like lying, cheating, fraud, fooling, pleading, emotional blackmail and diplomatic coercion in order to get their sons married.

So we have the holiest bond of matrimony made upon the platform of deceit and lies.But we all know that marriage formed on such unethical grounds do not last for long.Either they turn dysfunctional or end up in a bitter separation/divorce.

This is the bitter truth that many parents fails to accept. I just hope that they gain some wisdom in order to save themselves from bitter disappointments.

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Let the married folks live their lives and we will live our own

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer says Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

On and off we the single Indian men become sad when we look at the married folks, There is the perfect family, the perfect wife and the perfect children. OH!!!! The grass is always  green on the other side. 

But that is what life is and one thing that I have learnt is that one should never take anything for granted. The married folks always boast about their marital status and try to put down the singles. However married people have their own set of problems, problems that are different from what we single people encounter. Hence you should never compare yourself with married people.

Let them (the married folks) live their lives, let them raise families and do what they want. We the single men should go ahead living our lives. We need to build our experience and do things that normal people are not able to do. Yes, we can do it. Single hood comes with a lot of freedom and independence. We need to develop memoirs that will be cherished over our lifetimes. 

Go ahead, define and assert you individuality and live your life. Give your best shot and never get disheartened.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-Not the fault of the single Indian men

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer of would like to claim innocence for single Indian man

Yes my dear friends, hold your words and keep your tongues under control before you pass loose comments on an Indian man who is living a single life. Many men in Indian have started living alone out of choice and destiny and in majority cases it is just not their fault.

It is not his fault that he grew up in a dysfunctional family and one day decided to leave such a toxic family in search of a happy life.

It is not his fault that his family separated at a very young age and he had to witness a bitter divorce battle fought out in the courts. The very impact of a broken family portrayed a negative image about marriage and he decided to remain happily single ever after.

It is not his fault that he lost his parents and was orphaned at a young age.

It is not his fault because his girlfriend whom he loved dearly betrayed and married someone else.

It is not his fault that his dear wife asked for a divorce and took huge amount from him in the name of alimony.

It is not his fault that he has read, studied and researched on more that 15 plus anti male laws in this country and convinced himself that marriage is an expensive proposition.

So , to the people of this disgusting, hypocrite Indian society, before you pass your third class and third rate comments on single Indian men , especially blaming them for living a single life, I kindly request you to think twice.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day. Will be back with a lot more.

Remain single and regret over one thing, get married and regret over a thousand things-Word of wisdom from Bhaveen Sheth

In India you have to get married, whether you like it or not .Either your carnal feelings get you into holy matrimony or it is your family, society or peer pressure that does.

But you will always have regrets whether you get married or not.Now let us say that you don't get married, I mean you decide that you want to stay single. Then  what? Well! You just have one regret.The fact that you are single and everyone else is married. That's it.

However when you get married in the Indian society , you end up carrying a thousand plus regrets.The reason is simple and clear, in India marriage comes with infinite expectations. Men are expected to fulfil certain responsibilities and in trying to do the same, they end up sacrificing a lot of things.

I cannot state the long list of dreams and aspirations that the Indian men have because it varies from person to person. There are a lot of desires that Indian men want to fulfil but marriage overburdens them with responsibilities, hence they are not able to do what they want. This leaves them with a thousand regrets.

As the single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth, I have only one regret, that of not getting married. That's all.But still I am happy. I have not compromised on my dreams and aspirations.

You get one life, live it large.

Bhaveen Sheth-What does it mean to be a MAN in India

In India, one often gets to read news on the condition of women and how they are discriminated. Stories of their exploitation and ill treatment make it to the front pages of our leading newspapers.However no one is willing to give any consideration to the condition of the common Indian man. It seems that men have become the forgotten or neglected gender in India.

So my dear friends, in a few points below, I would like to enumerate on what does it mean to be a man in India.Please go through the same:

Being a man means that since childhood you will be showered with unnecessary level of affection and love that you don't want or require.

Your physical characteristics will always be compared with other from the time you come in this world.

In many families, the male child becomes the surrogate husband to his mother.

You have to start proving your worth from the time you enter kinder-garden.

Your marks at school define who and what you are, not your individuality.

You are required to be strong and powerful. Crying is not an option.

You become the prized trophy for your parents who love to display you in front of other.

It you and only you who will bear the responsibility of carrying the family name and legacy ahead.

You cannot choose a a career and vocation of your own choice or interest;it is your parents who will decide it.

Your teenage years are filled with misery and tension as you will have to go trough your SSC, HSC and other competitive exams.

You are not given the freedom to develop your own individuality.

Your 20's are filled with an emotional roller coaster ride where you are expected to complete your education, get a good job, that too with a high pay and get married. PHEW!!!

You are expected to have a child within two years of marriage.

No matter how old you get , your parents retain control over you.

You are supposed to be the beast of burden and undertake responsibilities on behalf of all your family members.

You are required to keep everyone happy at the cost of your own happiness.

In order to get married you are supposed to have your own house, preferable a 2 BHK and a fat bank balance.

Not getting married or delaying your married is not an option.

You are forced to follow the norms of the Indian society no matter how pathetic they are.

You constantly live under the fear of EMI's and home loans combined with the threat of loosing your job.

If you happen to live for your self ,the society will make you feel guilty for doing the same.

Remaining a bachelor will automatically make you an outcast within you own society.

You have to get used to all kinds of anti-male, female biased laws in this country.

Taking a divorce from your wife will make you go through an acrimonious legal battle.

You have to get used to the feminist terrorism.

You may end up living a dull, boring and mediocre life.