As Adult Orphans we are not complicated, you just need to understand us and give us a chance: Bhaveen Sheth- DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Adult orphans don't need any introduction. We are a small community that exists in India. We are in our 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. We are mature enough to handle responsibilities, way ahead of the people belonging to our age bracket and mentally strong to face difficult situations and challenges. Yes, we do exist and live like normal human beings. Some of us have lost our loved ones in a tragedy and some have left their dysfunctional families for good with no intention of returning back. We are a minute or minuscule population that exists.

The country and society that we live in is not easy. We as adult orphans are wrongly perceived and badly treated. Guess we are the odd ones out. Our society is not willing accept or accommodate different people. As Adult Orphans we are often mistrusted, doubted and looked upon with suspicion. Our own personality no matter how unique it may be or our individualism does not matter. The fact that we stand on our own feet is not respected. Our character is judged as we do not have parents or a family. We are  not dangerous people just because we don't have a family background. We are not anti--social elements that pose a threat to the society. And still we are wrongly perceived. The reality of discrimination and ill treatment strikes when you move into the real world after your college like it happened in my case. I guess I was just naive. Companionship was denied. Looking at happy families having fun made be realize what I lacked. Empty homes was what I came back to and lonely weekends awaited me. Like all youngsters in their late 20's, I too had a dream, a desire, a feeling that I would get married one day and have a loving and caring spouse. However I was not prepared for what life had in store for me. During that search for a matrimonial alliance and a lifelong companion I was rejected, insulted and humiliated, courtesy: No parents or family background.Initially it was difficult to accept such ill treatment, later I got used to it. Over the years I gave up on marriage. For me, self respect and esteem mattered more, I did not want to loose it. I accepted my fate and became stoic.  Even then people have a problem with me because I am still not married. I am often given unwanted advice, told that I am too rigid or have high standards. These very people who given me sound advises will never want their daughters, sisters or female relatives to marry me. Behind my back I am often ridiculed for not being married. One statement was " He does not have parents and he is not married". Over the years I have lived to learn a content life enjoying my own company. That is also liked by people. I don't care for what people think because majority of them are flawed. And yet they perceive us as humans having negative traits.

This post is on behalf of all those adult orphans who are presently fighting their own battles on their own and silently suffering. I just wanted to say that we too are human beings,we also have feeling and emotions.Fact is that no one listens to our problems and no one care how we feel. We brood alone and suffer in silence, our emotions are repressed and feelings are curbed. In spite of all this we have to put a smile and a normal demeanor and face the world. Not many can understand us We carry a burden, an inheritance of loss and suffering. The loss of our loved ones or the curse of being born on a toxic dysfunctional family whom we left forever never to return back. People with normal families can't understand or associate much with us. It is easy to pass judgement without giving much thought. We are not here for your superficial sympathy, we don't like it. Some of us may be introvert and take time opening up to others. The loss of a protective family cover makes us vigilant, we try to be extra careful. Mentally we are above the age of our peers. Loss of loved ones and difficult challenges makes us a mature person.

We are human beings and don't want to be treated as sub-humans. We lost our parents or were born into toxic dysfunctional families. This was our fate or destiny. We can't be blamed for it. Incidents happen, What matters is what we made out our lives. If we have done well in our educations and careers, then why are we not treated equally?  On the personal front when we live a perfectly normal and healthy lives, then why are we perceived wrongly? Why do the majority consider us as abnormal people having problems? Why are we considered unstable and untrustworthy? Having a family or parents does not guarantee character, morals or the ability to take responsibilities and face challenges in life. By 38 ,I have come across many cases where people in spite of having parents and families have trouble completing their education, finding a job, keep the job, handling marriage and living a stable life. The parents keep on being supportive even when their children have turned into adults. I have come across grown up men being mamma's boys and grown up women being daddy's little princesses. I have often seen these grown up people in spite of having a family support finding it difficult to navigate through situations in their lives. If I were to compare myself and almost all other adult orphans, we are far better is living independent lives. However this factor is never acknowledged by the larger society.

There are times I wish that the majority would just understand us for who we are before passing judgement on us. Every one has his/her own story and before passing comments it is important for us to understand a person in context to his/her background. Giving sympathy to us is not something we want, we are tired of it. Not having parents does not make us characterless. Like all normal human beings we crave for companionship and a sense of belonging, something that has been denied to us. We make friends maybe limited friends but these are the friends who understand us without being prejudiced or judgmental, these are the friends who become a family to us willing to take a stand for us whenever required. We don't want to force our way, thoughts and ideals on anyone, we will go with the flow. Many of us struggle for find companionship in the opposite gender. It happens. The loss of our loved ones leaves a vacuum within us that is not easy to fill. It takes years for us to come in terms with what we have lost. The world filled with manipulative and materialistic people makes us vigilant.We have to be extra careful. Some of us go on being alone even in their 30s and 40s without getting married. It is not that they never tried to to get married. Everyone tries. However our society goes only by superficial appearances and show off. Lying and exaggeration appeals people, tell them the truth and they won't even look at you. Any adult orphan who is in his/her 30's and 40's will understand this. If they had ever tried for marriage they would have gone through their own rounds of humiliations and embarrassments.

This post is not about me telling my condition or begging for some alliance. No!!! This is on behalf of all those adult orphans who are living their lives and fighting for survival. As human beings and citizens of this country we have the right to live our lives, we have the right to be happy and we have to right to enjoy. We ask for nothing more than acceptance and equality, nothing more and nothing less.

We as adult orphans are not complicated, you just need to understand us.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian MGTOW

I started respecting myself-BHAVEEN SHETH DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

Living alone all by yourself at times can have negative effects  on you. In the initial years of my life, I used to suffer from lack of self confidence and had low esteem. I used to be harsh upon myself.

It was also during such times when I used to approach women and their parents for marriage alliances. I just got turned down. My background was enough for them to reject me but somewhere down the line I feel that I approached people with low self confidence and low self esteem. During those years I even approached women who otherwise would find no takers. I remember feeling bad about it. Meeting toxic women is not something you wish , forget having a life time association with them.

But somewhere things changed. About five (5) years ago I eventually decided to give up on marriage and stopped looking for alliances. My profile does exist on a matrimonial sites but it is a blunt representation about myself. The message that I have conveyed to people in my profile is something like this "This is me, loud and clear. You want to accept it ,good otherwise go take a hike.

A lot has changed since I started respecting myself. One thing that I noticed was people around me started respecting me, my esteem and confidence went up. I realized that I am a man of my own making and don't need to justify myself in front of others. I stopped seeking validation from others.

At the age of 36, this is how I look:

I am happy and content with my own life. No longer do I look desperately  forward for a marriage. If someone is interested, they can approach me provided they talk to me decently otherwise I request them to go to hell. My writings on my blog have made me some sort of an inspiration or role model for many single Indian men who are trying to find a meaning in their life and wish to live single. I also write for the Indian  MGTOWs. I thank all my readers and admirers for appreciating me and reading my posts. Somewhere I have realized that I am a change maker and a facilitator in the lives of other people and I know that I can transform their lives for betterment.

My life is no longer dictated by that one single Institution of marriage. If someone respects me and accepts me for what I am, GOOD. I have my own life to life and many goals and dreams to fulfill. I am quite comfortable in my own skin.

To everyone reading this post, please learn to respect yourself, I know it is difficult and can take some years as we are bought up in a society where our own respect and sense of self being comes for the validation of others. But no matter what happens ,work on your self confidence and self esteem.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

Not interested in speaking to a woman's parents or siblings-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

I am no longer interested in speaking to a woman's parents or siblings. At 35 I am comfortable living a solo life, marriage no longer interests me. However I do get matrimonial interests, either from my profile on an online matrimonial site or through references of friends. 

It is the same story that I get to hear. The woman is not married, looking for a suitable match, her parents and siblings are worried for her and all that typical bullshit of an Indian family who has an unmarried daughter/sister sitting at home.

In the past few instances it has been the parents or siblings who have interacted with me. I just don't know why do they express interest in me when I have clearly stated everything about myself in writing.Maybe they are so desperate to get their daughter/sister married off that they will go to any extent.Now I am an adult orphan with zero family background, no close family ties and living all by myself.

The parents and siblings of the woman do all the talking, they ask all kinds of weird questions even after knowing everything about me. There are times when such conversations have left me embarrassed and humiliated. But this was the past and I have put the past behind me. Having gained the confidence and wisdom that comes with age, I chose to avoid any form of conversation with either the parent or the siblings of the woman.

Now c'mon, I am an adult who is mature and self dependent, I am no longer some immature kid.I am certainly not looking to settle down with some young nubile girl in her late teens or early 20's who has no experience of life in general. The age category of women that I get to deal are in their early or mid 30's. I am sure by this age people are mature enough to take their life decisions independently. Many women that I have come across are divorcees and separated.I am sure they must be mature by now. But lord almighty!!! It seems he has not given any wisdom to our adult Indian women as they cannot make their own life choices independently.

It seems that the unmarried adult Indian women still lack the confidence to talk to someone, make a decent conversation and build a rapport. Yes!!! Under confident and hesitant adults exist in both the genders. Here are the women who still rely on their parents and siblings to do the talking on their behalf. It seems that in this case feminism and women's empowerment has gone for a toss.

Now please tell me? How can you get along with a woman who cannot take her own life decision even after crossing 30. That phase of life when parents did all the talking has gone. The women past 30 in India are considered an off the shelf product (as per the popular thinking of the Indian society).Age is going by and the biological clock is ticking and yet our adult Indian women lack basic common sense.

Coming back to the topic of parents and siblings of the women.It seems that they have forgotten that their daughters/sisters have passed the marriageable age and are no longer considered marriage material.And yet, these buggers want the perfect match. Their would be in law must earn a six figure salary, he must have house in his name, a decent car and enough cash to take care of their lovely princesses. In most of the cases it seems that these parents and siblings are just window shopping and exploring their options in trying to get the best match. In my opinion I consider these people as cheap and uncouth. Their very way of talking shows that they are trying to have profitable trade off where in there is a win-loose situation in which they get profited and I bear the loss. And if I have to say something about their daughter/sisters (not being offensive), there is hardly anything good about them, be it looks,education, career or personality.

Being a fiercely independent person myself, I prefer to come across someone who can make her own life decision as an adult and stand by it. I have still not come across such a woman till date.

Hence I prefer not to talk to the parents or siblings of prospective woman looking for marriage. As an adult , change comes from withing, it should be the woman who should take charge of her life and make her own decisions, not the parents or the siblings.

I am am content with my solo life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

A moment of introspection for single Indian men-DOTSIM-Bhaveen Sheth

A few days ago, I finished reading the book titled "From Home to house", writings of the Kashmiri Pandits in Exile.I take this inspiration after reading one of the chapters written by Mr.K. N. Pandita who writes on moments of introspection.

 Indian men living single for many reasons will have their own moments of introspection. Yes we are single, living in a country and a society where the majority is married.We are single because something did not go right. We may be orphans, we may have left our dysfunctional families for good, we got left out on the marriage front, women did not see us as suitable life partners., we got separated, we got divorced.There are infinite reasons for us living a single life. We don't owe an explanation to the society.

Marriage is out of the question for us.For the first time in so many decades since India's independence Indian men have finally breathed freedom:freedom form the unwanted responsibilities of the Indian society, freedom from the shackles and bondage of a dysfunctional family and freedom from toxic marriages.Remember those times when you were keen to get married? Remember those days when you met potential brides? Remember those moments when you were humiliated and ridiculed just because you did not meet up to certain expectations? Remember those days when your parents were informed that you were rejected by a potential girl just because you did not meet up to her standards? Do you remember those feelings of despair, hopelessness, despondency and formlessness? How did it feel like getting rejected each and every time?

You and your parents went from pillar to post in order to find a suitable match but nothing happened. In my case (I am am an orphan) and for those who left their dysfunctional families for good,seeking a matrimonial alliance was even more difficult.No one wanted to associate with someone who did not have any people family background.Years have gone by and now we are in our 30s and 40s. But still, even today we brood over being a leftover single, we are sad for not having a family.

It will take some time for some of us to come out of this syndrome of being a leftover single man.We will have to look at new avenues in terms of our vocation, career , entertainment and a creative life away from the norms of the Indian society.

During the first phases of our single life, we will face a lot of difficulties. Living alone has never been easy. This phase will test us. We will be vulnerable during this period. One should remain positive and never give in to any kind of addiction or vice.Madly looking out for love and expecting a woman to be our emotional pillar will lead to grave disappointments.We will have to sit down and think on how we can chart out our future course of life.

Grit and determination will pave our way forward. Gradually a realization will dawn upon us on the need to start making the best use of our lives.In order to be truly alone, we must move out of our own homes or comfort zones. We will have to live separately, away from our parents.We will have to make ourselves immune from the criticisms and taunts of the Indian society.

During this phase we will have to work on our careers and become better professionals, pursue activities of continuous professional development, get advanced certifications, work in different places where the job is challenging. We will have to make a place for ourselves, both vertically and horizontally. We will have to rise to the top echelons within the organization. In the coming two to three decades we should be financially sound living in a house in our own name.

Not being married does not become an end of life.Our motivation to live a better life should take us to places. No land is foreign to us and no territory is forbidden to us.We should think about immigrating to foreign countries or even do minor job stints in Gulf rich kingdoms, it will add magnanimously to our bank balance.

It is futile to live with this dream or hope of getting married.It is futile to expect the Indian society to understand us.We are important to no one, a non-entity, unwanted disposable beings.For the Indian society we are a liability, a stinky lot.We are objects of ridicule and taunts.The society considers us to be losers as we could not get married, keep a woman or father a child. Being branded as a pariah , the society has shut its gates to us forever.

The Indian media considers it a taboo to speak on the plight of single Indian men.The feminists and their feminazi cousins harbour rabid fanaticism of hatred towards us. We are labelled as potential paedophiles, rapists and certified sex offenders. We have been branded as sex maniacs and perverts.

We ask for equal treatment, we ask for respect and dignity. We ask for a place in the Indian society, we ask for a representation as a minority.But no one is there to understand our situation.

We cannot move forward if we keep thinking that we are victims.We cannot move forward if we keep thinking ourselves to be bare branches or leftover men ( a slang used for unmarried men in China). How can we remain happy if we are so hard on ourselves. We need to move ahead. I understand that things did not go well with us and that's why we are still single.One cannot brood over his past.However we must learn to take care of ourselves, we should groom well, wear good clothes, exercise, live a healthy lifestyle and take up creative activities. We should travel alone across the length and breadth of this country. It is during these journeys that we will explore ourselves and return back fully charged. We also need to learn important life skills. This will make us confident and self reliant paving our path towards a happy single life. Why do we need a woman to come in our lives so that she can cook and feed us?

My dear single Indian men, we are not the only ones who have seen sadness, grief or suffering. Human history is replete with all this. Ours is not an exceptional case. Remember, solo living and displacement is a great boon, blessing and virtue, if we can utilise it properly.Many great single men have made remarkable achievements by remaining single. Do I need to explain the life of Dr.Abdul Kalam or Mr.Ratan Tata. We will have to unleash the potential that has been dormant within us for a long time and create our own new world with a new vision.Only the weak and feeble will cry over their miserable condition. We, the single Indian men are strong and we must rise to this occasion and challenge.

Go ahead and live that meaningful life. Live a life that we become an object of an envy for each and every married person Live your life in such a manner that all people will stand up and say that you are the one who is truly living his life.

Success does not entitle you to that beautiful woman

We Indians are a strange lot. We have altogether a different definition for celebrating success.We include all vices in our celebrations. We buy unwanted electronic gadgets, expensive three or five bedroom hall kitchen flats, big cars etc. etc.We celebrate by eating junk food that has been cooked in excess of oil, butter and cheese. As Indians , we don't care.

So why show concern when it comes to  marriage.All Indian men who are successful want one thing:that beautiful Indian woman. You know, the fair skinned, well rounded, sweet taking girl. In India, beautiful women are spoils of the war who are to be taken by winners.

Getting married to that beautiful Indian woman is considered a sign of success. That's what we all think. 

To all the single Indian men reading this blog post, I request you reconsider your decision, in case  you too are harboring dreams of getting married to a beautiful woman.You may be earning that coveted five/six figure salary, you may have that enviable job with a big MNC. I congratulate you on your achievements.

The biggest mistake all Indian men make is in their marriages. They think that they are entitled to have a beautiful women as their wives.They feel that with all their success they deserve one. This is one cardinal mistake many Indian men make which later ruins their lives.

Talking from a man's perspective, many Indian men are still not mature. They may have good academic credentials and well paying jobs, but that does not make them complete men. Many men have never lived alone, all by themselves, never traveled outside the confines of their comfort zones. Some Indian men in spite of all their laurels have a poor social quotient i.e. they can't even have a decent conversation with anyone.They hardly take care of themselves, many have poor body hygiene.Other than having  knowledge and skills at work, their life skills are poor.If left on their own they can't cook, clean, do laundry or take care of themselves.Many Indian men have no hobbies or any other form of creative engagements. These men have hardly dated a woman. Their interaction with women is quite limited and that too only at the workplace. In short many of these so called successful Indian men have never grown up. They are trying to fulfill that incomplete teen fantasy of having an eye candy girlfriend, something that these men never had. In short many single Indian men are desperately waiting to get laid with a beautiful woman, something that only the institution of marriage will allow.

And now I look from the feminine perspective. If truth be told , much to the acrimony of Indian feminists, many of these fair skinned beautiful Indian women are mediocre and dumb headed.  I said many and not all Indian women.Not being judgmental but these girls know that they are beautiful and will use their charms to suit their requirements.They make men dance as per their tunes. They hold mediocre academic qualifications and even if they get a job, they don't see it as a long term career:it is merely to pass some time till they find a rich well settled groom whom they will marry. Job is just another source of income to meet their expenses.These women are quite ambitious, not in terms of self-empowerment or career development, but in terms of acquisition of materialistic things. Majority of these fair skinned beauties come from Tier 2 and Tier 3 cities and small towns of India.In these places even today gender based discrimination is rampant. These women are deprived  of many things that today's modern middle class girls living in metros are entitled to.The only way to get what they want is to get married to some well settled man. It is the only path of liberation from the shackles of bondage within their own families. No wonder they readily accept a marriage proposal from a guy who is well settled in a big city , earning a good salary. That is all that matters for them and will not mind if her future husband is pathetic.

Post marriage, it is these fair skinned beautiful wives who have an upper hand in the marriage. The husbands go running around fulfilling their desires. These women are good at emotionally abusing their husbands. In my subsequent posts I will be writing on two incidents where in successful Indian husbands committed suicides because of marital discord. Many Indian men give in to the demands of their wives because they don't want to loose such beautiful women. In case if such a beautiful wife walks out on them , it is the husband who will become the laughing stock of the society and not to mention all kinds of cases starting from dowry harassment to domestic violence the man's entire family will face when she files for a divorce.

For may readers I may sound like a pessimist. Problem is that people don't want to accept reality, forget facing it. My advice to may single Indian men of a marriageable age is that they should develop themselves, advance on their career fronts, meet new women, travel alone across India, develop self confidence, learn important life skills. I say that men should find someone who adores and respects them. Go for a woman who is mature, hard working and has a career of her own. Go for someone who will stick with you during difficult times  and not throw unnecessary tantrums and resort to emotional abuse.

I hope my words of wisdom will have an effect on my readers.

Wishing you all the best.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

If you want to live within the society , you must follow the rules

Society? Rules? What the hell? A month ago before my 34th birthday a well wisher told me that I must celebrate my birthday with other people by giving a small party.After all I had to live within the society. I just wished he had known about me, I wish he would have know that I have no family background. People like me are never included within the society. Why the should I do things in order to please the people of the Indian society.My birthday is my concern. How I should celebrate it is my wish.I always celebrate my birthdays solo.

Where was this so called Indian society when I wanted to get married? No one was willing to accept me. Single Indian men without a proper family are treated as outcasts. Hence I don't need to follow the rules of the Indian society in order to make others happy. I love to live the way I am living and I have no regrets about it.

This is Bhaveen Sheth sigining off and I promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

And one day I just packed my bags and left my dysfunctional family for good

My dear friends,

Hope you are doing good. A few weeks ago, I received a mail from one of my readers who wrote to me about his own story where he left is dysfunctional family for good. I am sharing his story below:

Dear Bhaveen,

I have been reading your blog posts regularly and admire you because you write on topics related to single Indian men, orphans and people belonging to dysfunctional families.

Here I am sharing my story. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, my childhood and teenage years were filled with family fights, squabbles and arguments. My folks were rigid and orthodox.They had become prisoners withing their own dysfunctional world. Fortunately things turned out better for me when I moved out to another city in order to pursue my graduation and post graduation. Truly speaking, I was shocked to see a different world altogether. I could not comprehend the fact there were normal people living a happy life.I had grown up in an environment filled with excessive pessimism and toxicity. My family members just wanted to confirm to their old patriarchal values and customs that had been passed down for generations. When I came home during my college vacations, the environment would depress me. Eventually I made some excuses and stopped visiting home.

After completing my post graduation I shifted back to my home city as I had got the placement of my preference.I loved my job, work environment and salary. However the situation never improved within my family. I was fed up.I started applying for jobs in different cities. Fortunately the HR department of my organization became my savior and considered my request to be transferred to another city.

My family was not happy with my decision.They accused me for being irresponsible. I did not care.I relocated to another city. For the first time in my life I experienced peace and solitude.Along with my job, I started pursuing creative activities like reading and writing. I made new friends to whom I got very close to.After spending a year in a new city I went home. Nothing had changed. The environment had become more toxic.I just couldn't stay for another day in my own house. So, I gathered my stuff, packed my bags , took what I wanted to take and left home. I did not say my goodbyes and just sneaked out of my house in the middle for night.I never looked back and my folks never bothered to call me. The were always bust in their decade old problems.

It has now been many years since I left my home for good and believe me I have no regrets. There has been a dramatic change in my personality. Dysfunctional families can take a huge toll on your emotional well being.

However life for me has not been easy.I still remain unmarried. Matrimonial alliances are hard to come by because the institution marriage requires that you have a family. But I don't mind . In life you can't have everything.

Bhaveen, we become what our families are. Dysfunctional and toxic families make you cynical, narrow minded and toxic.It is only after leaving such a family does one realize how different the world is. If a man needs to move ahead and develop himself, he will have to leave his dysfunctional family once and for all.

Regards,

 XXXXYYYYZZZZ

I salute this writer for his courage to take such a bold step. Dysfunctional family is a problem that has never been discussed and yet these kind of families are a common sight within our society. No one wants to acknowledge and deal with this problem.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singning off and will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

BHAVEEN SHETH-DOTSIM- Single-hood is empowerment

Bhaveen Sheth -The writer of this blog discusses on the empowerment that comes with single-hood. Many Indian men who are currently living a solo life should feel happy and make the best use of their time. There is no greater happiness in India than solo living. In spite of many Indian men happily living a single life, Indian society finds it difficult to accept their status.Single-hood brings freedom, empowerment, liberation and a path to discover ourselves. 

Men's empowerment never features anywhere in the media. It is never discussed over any television debates.What makes Indian men empowered? Is it our education, job, salary, benefits, marriage? The answer is no. Materialistic things bring temporary satisfaction, not empowerment.

There is no happiness than being yourself. Admit it!! Do we Indian men live our lives? Are we able to find out who we are and what we want? Do we even have choices? NO! We are supposed to live are per the defined patriarchal norms of the society. During our childhoods we have to live as per the expectations of our parents and later as per the expectations of our spouses.

Singlehood in India has always been vilified. The general mentality is that if you are single beyond 30, there something definitely wrong with you. That is far from the truth.

Singlehood brings its own set of responsibilities. As you are on your own, you have to do your own chores. There are a different set of skills that you learn in order to survive and thrive. You have to buy your own grocery, clean your house, cook your own food, wash dishes, make your bed and a lot more. You are responsible for your own life so you take good care of yourself. 

Empowerment comes when you are not dependent on anyone for your physical or emotional needs. It makes you independent and self reliant. You become your own best friend. There are no criticisms or taunts coming from a spouse/partner.

Here, I am not advocating that every Indian man should life a single life. All I am saying is if any of you readers are single because of unresolved problems, separated/divorced or widowed, then please stop brooding on your present status. There are bad phases in everyone's life. Don't get disheartened. Pull up yourself and get along with your lives. Celebrate single hood.

Eventually Indian men get married. Because unlike our educated sophisticated urban Indian women, we men don't have sky high expectations. But till you get hitched , enjoy your bachelor life and make the best of it. Trust me , you will develop a lot of self confidence. Just work on yourself and become a better person. This is real empowerment.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Bhaveen Sheth- DOTSIM- Director Kanu Behl speaks on his dysfunctional family

Bhaveen Sheth - the writer of this blog puts down the true revelations of Indian film director Mr.Kanu Behl. He has directed a movie TITLI that was released in October 2015. In a website he stated that he drew inspiration to direct this  movie based on his own experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family.

Mentioned below is his statement:

I grew up in a typically patriarchal North Indian family, fighting the dominant presence of my father and the apparent tyranny of him forcing everything down my throat. I rebelled and tried to get out. Run away whenever possible… sometimes even getting close.

The disappointments of aborted attempts aside, each time the desire got stronger. Until eventually, I managed to get to film school, where I decided to construct my own world from scratch. Deleting everything that I hated about my family and their way of life. I made my own rules. Swore to live by them. And setup the utopia. Intent on making things happen my way. The perfect way! However, slowly realization set in that the obsession to get rid of oppression had become so that I had almost imbibed it within myself completely. I was slowly, almost invisibly, becoming what I had hated. In totally different, yet scarily similar ways, I had started behaving like an oppressor towards people who were close to me in my life.

That is what Titli is about. That family is who you are. That roots cannot be dug out. That freedom is not escape. And what the protagonist does when he sets face with this realization. Because I would like to believe that there is a way back, however treacherous, towards home and true ʻfreedomʼ.

Titli is an award winning movie. A movie that anyone who has grown up in a dysfunctional family must watch.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the I promise to be back with a lot more

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Let the married folks live their lives and we will live our own

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer says Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

On and off we the single Indian men become sad when we look at the married folks, There is the perfect family, the perfect wife and the perfect children. OH!!!! The grass is always  green on the other side. 

But that is what life is and one thing that I have learnt is that one should never take anything for granted. The married folks always boast about their marital status and try to put down the singles. However married people have their own set of problems, problems that are different from what we single people encounter. Hence you should never compare yourself with married people.

Let them (the married folks) live their lives, let them raise families and do what they want. We the single men should go ahead living our lives. We need to build our experience and do things that normal people are not able to do. Yes, we can do it. Single hood comes with a lot of freedom and independence. We need to develop memoirs that will be cherished over our lifetimes. 

Go ahead, define and assert you individuality and live your life. Give your best shot and never get disheartened.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Dowry is a bribe paid in order to ensure the happiness of the bride

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, the single Indian man.

Pardon me if I am making this statement, but this is a reality that our social activists never concentrate on.

The present anti dowry laws that exist within the Indian judicial system prosecutes someone for accepting or demanding dowry.Why then do these very laws fail to prosecute someone who willingly gives dowry, because he/she should be considered  equally liable.

The truth is that dowry is still prevalent in India and has become an institutionalized and accepted norm in all Indian marriages.

Many parents want to marry off their daughters at a higher social and financial level in the society.Even the so called educated empowered independent urban Indian women want the same.In order to see that this happens , huge sums of money is given both in cash and kind to the groom.

The bride and her parents are equal partners in this crime dowry.Rather than empower their daughters, many Indian parents even today feel that getting their daughters married to a well settled men coming from decent family backgrounds will ensure their happiness. Many girls also coerce their parents into giving dowry so that they can marry rich men.

This is the reason why the dowry system is still prevalent and will never be eradicated.