My dear friends,
Hope you are doing good. A few weeks ago, I received a mail from one of my readers who wrote to me about his own story where he left is dysfunctional family for good. I am sharing his story below:
Dear Bhaveen,
I have been reading your blog posts regularly and admire you because you write on topics related to single Indian men, orphans and people belonging to dysfunctional families.
Here I am sharing my story. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, my childhood and teenage years were filled with family fights, squabbles and arguments. My folks were rigid and orthodox.They had become prisoners withing their own dysfunctional world. Fortunately things turned out better for me when I moved out to another city in order to pursue my graduation and post graduation. Truly speaking, I was shocked to see a different world altogether. I could not comprehend the fact there were normal people living a happy life.I had grown up in an environment filled with excessive pessimism and toxicity. My family members just wanted to confirm to their old patriarchal values and customs that had been passed down for generations. When I came home during my college vacations, the environment would depress me. Eventually I made some excuses and stopped visiting home.
After completing my post graduation I shifted back to my home city as I had got the placement of my preference.I loved my job, work environment and salary. However the situation never improved within my family. I was fed up.I started applying for jobs in different cities. Fortunately the HR department of my organization became my savior and considered my request to be transferred to another city.
My family was not happy with my decision.They accused me for being irresponsible. I did not care.I relocated to another city. For the first time in my life I experienced peace and solitude.Along with my job, I started pursuing creative activities like reading and writing. I made new friends to whom I got very close to.After spending a year in a new city I went home. Nothing had changed. The environment had become more toxic.I just couldn't stay for another day in my own house. So, I gathered my stuff, packed my bags , took what I wanted to take and left home. I did not say my goodbyes and just sneaked out of my house in the middle for night.I never looked back and my folks never bothered to call me. The were always bust in their decade old problems.
It has now been many years since I left my home for good and believe me I have no regrets. There has been a dramatic change in my personality. Dysfunctional families can take a huge toll on your emotional well being.
However life for me has not been easy.I still remain unmarried. Matrimonial alliances are hard to come by because the institution marriage requires that you have a family. But I don't mind . In life you can't have everything.
Bhaveen, we become what our families are. Dysfunctional and toxic families make you cynical, narrow minded and toxic.It is only after leaving such a family does one realize how different the world is. If a man needs to move ahead and develop himself, he will have to leave his dysfunctional family once and for all.
Regards,
XXXXYYYYZZZZ
I salute this writer for his courage to take such a bold step. Dysfunctional family is a problem that has never been discussed and yet these kind of families are a common sight within our society. No one wants to acknowledge and deal with this problem.
This is Bhaveen Sheth singning off and will be back with a lot more.
Bhaveen Sheth
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