Dear All,
Greetings for the Day!!!!
This post is mainly to target the Single
Indian Male. He can be a single orphan (like me), divorced/widowed or a man
coming from a dysfunctional family who has decided to stay single all his life.
When I searched for any information relating
to the Single Indian Male on Google, I did not find anything relevant, I did
find the Diary of the Single Indian Girl, but nothing on a Man.
My writings here are to give advice to all
Single Men Living in the Indian Setup across different Cities and Towns of
India. Class/Caste, social and financial status does not matter. The idea here
is to share one’s feelings and exchange ideas on how one can survive living as
a single man.
The
First and Foremost thing that I would like to put forward
to a lot of Single Men is that please stop Whining and Crying over your Single
Status. Stop looking at yourself as a victim. There are Problems, we all have
problems. Okay you are an Orphan, or you come from a Dysfunctional family, you
have been abused mentally or sexually in your childhood or no one did anything,
you loved someone and she ditched you, you lost your loved one in a tragedy, you
went through a bitter divorce, your children are separated from you, you are
just a looser who can’t have his luck with girls or for some reason is not
getting married and plenty more. Guys!!!!!! We all have gone through problems,
but can you change the past????? The Answer is no, so please Get BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING STOP
WHINING AND CRYING.
Start
Working on your Hobbies. It can be anything starting
from basic reading and watching movies to calligraphy and oil painting. There
must have been something that you would have always loved doing right from your
childhood days. And then what happened???? College, Work, marriage!!!! C’mon my
friend get a life, go and start getting involved in that Hobby, it will keep
your mind occupied and you will become more creative day by day.
On
the Professional Front, re-evaluate your career. Is
there a better scope for development and growth. How about moving to a new
city/place where you have better opportunities??? How about taking up a
position in an organization where you get to do the work you like????? Also
think about enhancing your academic Qualifications. There are plenty of
colleges and universities which are now giving online/distance learning and
executive developmental programs. Have You thought about it???? So go ahead and
get those Advance Degrees/Diplomas and certifications, it will be a sure shot
way to move ahead in your career.
Travel
and travel extensively. You don’t have to be a
Millionaire to do that. India is so vast and there are so many places that one needs
to explore. How many of Indians die in the same city in which they were born
without having ventured out of it??? Take a break of 10 to 15 days every six
months and go and visit some places. Budget travelling is there available for
everyone. So gather your camera and go ahead to explore new destinations.
Get
and Small Home and a Car- This will be a requirement once
you start aging. A Home is a Home , come what may and if you have decided to
stay single all your life, then better start planning for a small home where
you can live peacefully. Whether you want it in a City or some secluded
location is your choice. Secondly get a car, it will be helpful for you in
travelling long distances. You don’t have to dream for a BMW or jaguar, just a
normal care that is good for the cities and it can also travel on the Highways.
Have
a strong Friend/Family support-This is important
when you are living single, given that fact that you can take care all by
yourself, there are emergencies when some type of support does help. So go
ahead and find some support that you can really bank upon during difficult
times. If you can’t get along with your family members, then at least maintain some
sort of communication, that’s more than enough. Alternatively create a strong
social network made up of close friends who will be there to support you during
your bad times.
Learn
Cooking and Housekeeping- These are skills which will
really come handy once you stay alone. Cooking may be difficult but is not
exactly rocket science. Take some small steps towards cooking and you will
develop a knack for it, you can ask your mother/sister to teach you and
alternatively if you are good with people especially females, then you can ask
some female colleague or friend to help you with the same.
Rented
Accommodation or Paying Guest-If you happen to
live away from home, then you should decide how you want to go about in finding
a living space. In some cities you may get lucky in finding a rented
accommodation but it may be expensive and frankly speaking not everyone is
happy giving out their apartments to some single bachelor. However in some
cases you can get lucky if there is a working men’s hostel available. Paying
Guest is not a bad option if you can compromise with your privacy and are okay
with some restrictions place by your owner. However from experience i would say
that better go for a P.G which is two sharing only.
Fitness-
It should become a daily indulgence. As you are single and are not preoccupied
with other responsibilities you can take up fitness seriously. It can be
anything but for basics you can start Jogging daily and join a swimming pool
club to keep you fit. If there is gym nearby in the vicinity, you can become a
member of the same. However to save money and time you can buy dumbbells and a
bar bell set and pump iron in your room. There is no other High that you can
get when people notice you with wash board abs and taut body. Let the married
and family people see the Joys of being single.
Restaurants
and cafes- Of course there are times in your life that
you would love to eat outside. SO don’t worry, live your desires and go to
restaurants and cafes. Going to cafes is more easy as there are plenty of them
in cities and towns and they always have extra space. But don’t go there and
get disheartened if you find some lovely couple get cosy with each other. Just
remember that life is not same for everyone, so it’s my suggestion that you
always go and carry a book/laptop/tablet PC and keep yourself occupied. Restaurants do pose a challenge, single
men/woman are not liked, but that does not mean it is a restricted zone. But
avoid going to restaurants on weekends and other holidays as they are often too
crowded and one man occupying the seat of four people will always be frowned
upon. Alternatively you can also take a parcel of your favourite food and carry
it home.
Be
on lookout for a Nice Woman- When i say on a lookout, I
don’t mean that you should turn into a sexual predator and chase each and every
woman you come across like some desperate maniac. What I mean is that keep an open mind and be ready to accept
someone in your life if ever you come across a nice woman and fall for her. It
is never too late to start over, but putting a word of caution be very careful
and evaluate all the pros and cons before plunging in the sea of relationship.
Volunteering-
If the Philanthropy bug has bit you, do some volunteering. You can volunteer
for any cause which you find interesting, but if I had a word of advice i would
say that go and volunteer to teach in some government or trust school. You
don’t need to be a Qualified Teacher to do that. There must have been that one
subject that you must have been good at. Go ahead and teach the underprivileged
children. Nothing can be more satisfying than empowering these children. Their
blessing will go a long way in making your life happy.
Attending
Social Functions- India and Functions is an entwined
relation; hence they can never be separated. Attending Social Functions at
times may give you some sort of stigma, the feeling of being single and left
out while others are married and have a family reaches its apex at such
functions. Not to add the idiotic questions that you are asked by some nosy
people on why you are still single. So learn to choose which function you
should attend and which you should not. Other than close family functions, try
to avoid the other family but not so important family functions, it will be
better for you. When it comes to Professional (office and work related)
Functions, do go and attend it as they are more professional and formal in
nature and you are spared from a lot of unwanted functions.
Before I end
this post, I would like to put in one last point is that please go start
reading, the habit of reading is truly rewarding, once you get engrossed in
reading good literature, you will find it riveting. Fiction or Non Fiction,
reading is something that will keep you sane and occupied and believe me it is
one habit which come cheap and does not burn a hole in your pocket. Good Books
and low priced books are easily available on flipkart and infibeam, so go ahead
and start ordering.
So my dear
friends, life is worth living and live it, don’t spend it in brooding and
repenting.
How did you
find my post?? Please give your feedback in the comments sections mentioned
below.
This is
Bhaveen Sheth Signing off for the Day, will be back with more.
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