My Dear Single Indian Men,
Today I would like to discuss on the Topic of sparing your parents from Humiliation.
Many a Times we read articles or blog posts of the parents of an Indian Girl who openly tell about the humiliating experiences that they have to face when they want to get their divorced, widowed or over aged daughter married, not to mention the girl who does not fit into the ideal requirement of being the typical Indian Bride ( fair, good looking, dumb, respects elders slim and all the other bullshit crap).
However quite little has been written about the humiliation faced by the parents of boys when they go out to get their son's married.
Lets accept it , you are divorcee, widowed or maybe you don't fit into the category of being the marriageable person (maybe you are obese, scrawny, ugly looking or just a plain jerk who keeps on getting rejected).
Unless and until you are not an Orphan like me who has no one to represent anyone, your parents are going to get earth and heaven together to get you married. After all they still nurture dreams of seeing their son being married and bringing home a beautiful bride who will give them a beautiful grandchild.
However your parents may not be able to accept pragmatism and the very fact that there is a problem with you. Like it or not parents in India don't accept any shortcomings of their sons, they feel that their sons are the best. And it is this very illusion that later creates a major problem for them.
The sooner you accept the fact that there are some problems within you, the better you will be able to save your parents from humiliation, and when I say humiliation , i mean every meaning of the word that is written in the oxford dictionary.
Gone are those days when a girls parents would fold their hands and beg in front of other to get their daughters married. Today with changing mindsets, better access to education and more woman entering the corporate sector , the submissive girls parents have become things of the the past plus if you add the skewed up male female in our country, finding suitable brides have become even more difficult.
But let me not change the topic, my point here is do you know what problems your parents have to undergo in getting you married??? Maybe you should give this statement another thought.
Yes your parents are humiliated, this often happens in cases of arranged marriage. Your deficiencies are clearly discussed by the prospective girls parents. i am not saying that all people are bad, some diplomatically refuse and some bluntly tell the reality to your parents , on their face.
And every time such statements are made , it tears your parents hearts apart. Some statements may be true, but as i have said before, no parent is willing to accept his/her son's deficiencies.
Let me give you some humiliating statements made either by the girl or by her parents ( mind you every time it is not their fault, some of them may be telling you the truth)
Your Son is ugly, how can our beautiful daughter settle down with an ugly son like yours??
He is so obese before marriage, after marriage he may become more obese??
Your son in earning only 25 k per month, we are getting offers of boys earning Rs One lakh.
Abhii manglik ladke ke saath kaun shaadi karega??
Your son does not have his own independent house , where will our daughter stay after marriage????
It looks like future career growth prospects of your son are limited, it will become difficult for our daughter??
Gulf, Middle East!!!! No way , we will not send our daughter to an Arab country.
And there are plenty more statements made.
I believe it is high time for the Single Indian Male to accept his deficiencies and if possible correct them.
However the first brave thing that you can do is to tell you parents to stop bride hunting for you and spare themselves from embarrassments. I understand it is not easy. But one has to accept the reality.
Be firm and tell them to remove the dream of getting you married from their minds at least for a short while. Go around and explore the joys of single living.
If there are some deficiencies within you, accept the same, work of it and correct it.
And find some one, find some one who really understands you, who falls in love with you, someone who may not fit in the profile of being the typical Indian bride but will keep you happy all your life, someone who will go ahead and convince her parents and get their agreement in getting married to you, someone who will not have your parents humiliated.
So go ahead, take up a stand and spare you parents from humiliation
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