Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Kuch bhi ho jaaye , bete ki shaadi to karwa ke chodenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Bhaveen Sheth-The writer of this blog would like to write on the parental obsession that prevails in India to get their sons married.

Translating the heading into english it means that come what may, we will get our son married , by hook or crook.

This is a common statement spoke in almost all families across Indian and even abroad where there is a large Indian diaspora.These families have sons who have now reached a marriageable age.It does not matter if their sons have any major drawbacks or shortcomings.

Since ancient times marriage has been a sacred institution in our country.Getting ones son married has always been a sign of prestige and honour for the family. This behaviour is strongly seen in families across north India.

However things have started to change. A skewed male female ratio, rise in educated and empowered women, growing awareness of women's rights and shortage of brides.Indian society is now at its crossroads,

Earlier in some of my previous blogs I have written on how some Indian men don't stand eligible to get married because of many reasons. They have their own shortcomings that have never been addressed.

Parents know everything about their sons, but instead of addressing and correcting the shortcomings they turn a blind eye and their son is the best and are not willing to hear anything against him.

And what do these parents do? They resolve to cheap tactics like lying, cheating, fraud, fooling, pleading, emotional blackmail and diplomatic coercion in order to get their sons married.

So we have the holiest bond of matrimony made upon the platform of deceit and lies.But we all know that marriage formed on such unethical grounds do not last for long.Either they turn dysfunctional or end up in a bitter separation/divorce.

This is the bitter truth that many parents fails to accept. I just hope that they gain some wisdom in order to save themselves from bitter disappointments.

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM- Let the married folks live their lives and we will live our own

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer says Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

On and off we the single Indian men become sad when we look at the married folks, There is the perfect family, the perfect wife and the perfect children. OH!!!! The grass is always  green on the other side. 

But that is what life is and one thing that I have learnt is that one should never take anything for granted. The married folks always boast about their marital status and try to put down the singles. However married people have their own set of problems, problems that are different from what we single people encounter. Hence you should never compare yourself with married people.

Let them (the married folks) live their lives, let them raise families and do what they want. We the single men should go ahead living our lives. We need to build our experience and do things that normal people are not able to do. Yes, we can do it. Single hood comes with a lot of freedom and independence. We need to develop memoirs that will be cherished over our lifetimes. 

Go ahead, define and assert you individuality and live your life. Give your best shot and never get disheartened.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-Not the fault of the single Indian men

Bhaveen Sheth , the writer of would like to claim innocence for single Indian man

Yes my dear friends, hold your words and keep your tongues under control before you pass loose comments on an Indian man who is living a single life. Many men in Indian have started living alone out of choice and destiny and in majority cases it is just not their fault.

It is not his fault that he grew up in a dysfunctional family and one day decided to leave such a toxic family in search of a happy life.

It is not his fault that his family separated at a very young age and he had to witness a bitter divorce battle fought out in the courts. The very impact of a broken family portrayed a negative image about marriage and he decided to remain happily single ever after.

It is not his fault that he lost his parents and was orphaned at a young age.

It is not his fault because his girlfriend whom he loved dearly betrayed and married someone else.

It is not his fault that his dear wife asked for a divorce and took huge amount from him in the name of alimony.

It is not his fault that he has read, studied and researched on more that 15 plus anti male laws in this country and convinced himself that marriage is an expensive proposition.

So , to the people of this disgusting, hypocrite Indian society, before you pass your third class and third rate comments on single Indian men , especially blaming them for living a single life, I kindly request you to think twice.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day. Will be back with a lot more.

Remain single and regret over one thing, get married and regret over a thousand things-Word of wisdom from Bhaveen Sheth

In India you have to get married, whether you like it or not .Either your carnal feelings get you into holy matrimony or it is your family, society or peer pressure that does.

But you will always have regrets whether you get married or not.Now let us say that you don't get married, I mean you decide that you want to stay single. Then  what? Well! You just have one regret.The fact that you are single and everyone else is married. That's it.

However when you get married in the Indian society , you end up carrying a thousand plus regrets.The reason is simple and clear, in India marriage comes with infinite expectations. Men are expected to fulfil certain responsibilities and in trying to do the same, they end up sacrificing a lot of things.

I cannot state the long list of dreams and aspirations that the Indian men have because it varies from person to person. There are a lot of desires that Indian men want to fulfil but marriage overburdens them with responsibilities, hence they are not able to do what they want. This leaves them with a thousand regrets.

As the single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth, I have only one regret, that of not getting married. That's all.But still I am happy. I have not compromised on my dreams and aspirations.

You get one life, live it large.

Bhaveen Sheth-What does it mean to be a MAN in India

In India, one often gets to read news on the condition of women and how they are discriminated. Stories of their exploitation and ill treatment make it to the front pages of our leading newspapers.However no one is willing to give any consideration to the condition of the common Indian man. It seems that men have become the forgotten or neglected gender in India.

So my dear friends, in a few points below, I would like to enumerate on what does it mean to be a man in India.Please go through the same:

Being a man means that since childhood you will be showered with unnecessary level of affection and love that you don't want or require.

Your physical characteristics will always be compared with other from the time you come in this world.

In many families, the male child becomes the surrogate husband to his mother.

You have to start proving your worth from the time you enter kinder-garden.

Your marks at school define who and what you are, not your individuality.

You are required to be strong and powerful. Crying is not an option.

You become the prized trophy for your parents who love to display you in front of other.

It you and only you who will bear the responsibility of carrying the family name and legacy ahead.

You cannot choose a a career and vocation of your own choice or interest;it is your parents who will decide it.

Your teenage years are filled with misery and tension as you will have to go trough your SSC, HSC and other competitive exams.

You are not given the freedom to develop your own individuality.

Your 20's are filled with an emotional roller coaster ride where you are expected to complete your education, get a good job, that too with a high pay and get married. PHEW!!!

You are expected to have a child within two years of marriage.

No matter how old you get , your parents retain control over you.

You are supposed to be the beast of burden and undertake responsibilities on behalf of all your family members.

You are required to keep everyone happy at the cost of your own happiness.

In order to get married you are supposed to have your own house, preferable a 2 BHK and a fat bank balance.

Not getting married or delaying your married is not an option.

You are forced to follow the norms of the Indian society no matter how pathetic they are.

You constantly live under the fear of EMI's and home loans combined with the threat of loosing your job.

If you happen to live for your self ,the society will make you feel guilty for doing the same.

Remaining a bachelor will automatically make you an outcast within you own society.

You have to get used to all kinds of anti-male, female biased laws in this country.

Taking a divorce from your wife will make you go through an acrimonious legal battle.

You have to get used to the feminist terrorism.

You may end up living a dull, boring and mediocre life.

Jibes made at single Indian men-Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM

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Marriage is not meant for each and every Indian man

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, the single Indian man.

I hope everything is well with my readers. Wish you all a very happy dusherra.

Today I want to ask my readers whether the institution of marriage is applicable to each and every Indian man.

I have my own reservations on the same. Everyone cannot become a successful doctor or an engineer. Many people don't have the aptitude to get admission into prestigious institutions of this country. Similarly marriage is not suitable for each and every Indian man that too at a young age.

Marriage is forced upon the Indian man whether he likes it or not.Parents, relatives and the society builds up a strong pressure to get an Indian man married.

Simply stating, some Indian men just don't have the competency to get married. They are not prepared to become a husband or a father and undertake responsibilities that are attached with the respective roles.

But acceptance in the Indian society is less. No one realizes this important fact and no one wants to accept it.

"At times i ask myself;Will I remain happy being single?"

Now that I am in my early 30's, I often ask myself this one single question? "Will I be happy I were to remain single for the rest of my life?"

My intuition tells me yes.

For starters, I have got comfortable with my single status. Gone are those days when I was desperate to find a soul mate. I have got adjusted with the conditions that a solo life has to offer.Over the years gone by , I have grown and matured and am content with life.

There are times when I ask myself.,"What if I were to get married and settle down?""What about starting a family life?"

I doubt if if I would become a good husband or a father. I doubt that I will ever meet the expectations of the society. My answer is a no.Maybe I don't have it in me. I don't have the competency to settle down.

Life is just as good as the decisions you make.Bad decisions complicate life.

Today i have a set of personal dreams and professional ambitions for myself. My critics may call me self centred or selfish. Its okay. I don't care.

Maybe some people never settle down.They are happy to chart their own course of life and live a happy single life..

I am that person who has joined the category of happy single men who will go ahead and live his life.

This is Bhaveen Sheth, the writer of the diary the single Indian male. I will be back with a lot more.

I just turned my back from the institution of marriage

Two and a half years ago , I wrote a blog post titled "One day I decided not to get married". After two and a half years I felt that it was a right decision taken.

The institution of marriage in India is highly overrated. It is rotten to the core, based on nothing but lies , hypocrisy and double standards. For some people it still remains to be a sacred institution;I think otherwise.

Over the years of my life I have seen this institution from a close proximity and realized that it is just an over-exaggerated fantasy. Outcasts like me are not eligible for it. There is a lot more that I can write, but I choose to restrict my words for now.

Having gained wisdom and maturity, I have got acclimatized to solitude and loneliness, I am happy living the way I am. There are no regrets.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more.

The fight for our AZADI (freedom)

Today I write on our azadi, the azadi for the Indian men.

I take this inspiration from the Kashmiri people who had been fighting for their freedom with the Indian state and security forces.

On similar lines we Indian men will have to fight and assert ourselves. We need to realize that life is not easy for us because we are living in one of the most oppressed societies in the world.Since child hood we have to confirm to the pathetic rules and regulations that have been dictated upon us.Protest and dissent against the same is not tolerated. In case if a man protests against such rules, it is brutally cracked down and the man is subjected to harsh criticism and made an outcast.

We need to realize that that we can't passively watch this oppression and be party to it.

The time has come for the Indian men to go out and claim their azadi. The azadi to live life on their own terms ; the azadi from the emotional and verbal abuse that men are subjected at the hands of the Indian women; azadi from the norms of a society known for its double standards.

Go on my friends , go ahead and fight for your azadi. The journey will be long and arduous but believe me it is worth it.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will be back with a lot more.

Dowry is a bribe paid in order to ensure the happiness of the bride

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, the single Indian man.

Pardon me if I am making this statement, but this is a reality that our social activists never concentrate on.

The present anti dowry laws that exist within the Indian judicial system prosecutes someone for accepting or demanding dowry.Why then do these very laws fail to prosecute someone who willingly gives dowry, because he/she should be considered  equally liable.

The truth is that dowry is still prevalent in India and has become an institutionalized and accepted norm in all Indian marriages.

Many parents want to marry off their daughters at a higher social and financial level in the society.Even the so called educated empowered independent urban Indian women want the same.In order to see that this happens , huge sums of money is given both in cash and kind to the groom.

The bride and her parents are equal partners in this crime dowry.Rather than empower their daughters, many Indian parents even today feel that getting their daughters married to a well settled men coming from decent family backgrounds will ensure their happiness. Many girls also coerce their parents into giving dowry so that they can marry rich men.

This is the reason why the dowry system is still prevalent and will never be eradicated.

Wisdom from Arundhati Roy

I love to read the articles of activist  cum columnist Arundhati Roy.She is is a lady who needs no introduction. For those who don't know her please visit her Wikipedia link below to get a better insight:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arundhati_Roy

A few day ago, I cam across a famous quote from one of the books authored by her titled as the "War Talk".

The quote goes something like this:

"Our strategy should not only be to confront an empire but to also lay siege to it.To deprive it of oxygen. To  shame it. To mock it. With our art , our music our literature, our stubbornness , our joy, our brilliance, our sheer restlessness and our ability to tell our own stories that are different from the ones we are brainwashed to believe"

I know that the above quote applies to autocratic and dictatorial governments that want to subjugate their populations.

But I feel that the above quote also applies to the Indian society. A society hell bent on brainwashing people and forcing them to follow unwanted rules and regulations.

To all my single Indian male friends out there, go ahead and live your single life with no complaints. Show the world that we the single men can live a quality life.

Go ahead and make these so called happily married couples realize that single Indian men too can live a happy life.

Go ahead indulge yourself, start loving arts, watch good movies, read wonderful books,attend seminars and conclaves. Go on road trips, visit different parts of India, do your daily chores, pay your bills, wash and iron your clothes, cook good food, exercise, lift weights, swim , run a marathon, go to a sex worker, date a woman, eat at good restaurants, take up advanced professional certifications, rise in your career.

But remain stubborn, stand up for what you believe in. make your own story. A story of your own life that will be unconventional.Go ahead and tread a different path and let people be inspired by your life..

Go and tread your own course and don't get brainwashed by the philosophy of the Indian society.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and will be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth on wisdom gained on turning 33 and dreams to fulfill

This year on may 13th 2015 I turned 33. I am still single. One of the few single men you will find these days. As the years go by, the count of single men in my age bracket will decrease

Age has its own advantages. You learn with experience and you certainly gain wisdom.

At 33 I have become wise, wise enough to live a happy life. In a few points below, I would like to share some of my statements, dreams and desires.

Age is just a number and one should not be worried about it.

I have stopped looking out or waiting for that special one. I am wise enough to understand in a materialistic society like ours which is equally divided on sectarian lines, I am the undeserving lot. Henceforth I started focusing on my life and have started doing things that will make me happy.

Fitness is my primary focus and I intend to improve my strength and endurance.

Careers and professional development is my primary focus. I will work everyday to rise in the corporate world.

I have distanced myself from toxic and negative people.Life is too short to spend time with such kind of people.

I have promised myself to travel the length and breadth of this country and see as many places.

In the coming years there will be more books to read and movies to watch.

A small studio apartment is all that I want and one day god willing I will have it.

One small car that gives a gives a good mileage and can travel on the national highways of this country.

Dream of relocating to the place where I can be with my sister and her family.

To have the best gaming console that will keep me engaged at all times.

To become a creative writer, an english language teacher , teaching english to adults.

This is what I want at the age of 33 . I hope to achieve the same.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out , will be back with a lot more.

Confessions of ineligible Indian bachelors: The orphans and children from separated and dysfunctional families

Bhaveen Sheth speaks for the ineligible Indian bachelors-The orphaned and the ones from separated and dysfunctional families.

Who are we??? What are we??? This is a question that we often ask ourselves everyday.

In my case, I am an orphan who does not have parents and for others who are reading this post are either born into dysfunctional families or come from separated families.There is even a term for this, some sociologists call it fractured families.

Everyone reading this blog post needs to understand that our childhoods have been extremely difficult, but in spite of all our problems we have managed to survive. Today many of us have made enormous professional accomplishments and hold jobs in reputed institutions.

But in spite of all our achievements and accomplishments we have never fully been accepted by the Indian society.

The message is loud and clear. In India no matter what you do, what you become , it is not your individuality but your family background that matters. Like all  normal men and women in this country , we too dreamed of finding a life partner , we too dreamed of getting married and having a loving and caring family of our own.

All those dreams, all those desires , all those aspirations came down falling like a pack of cards.It gradually came to our realization that in order to get married , one needed to belong to a decent family. Education and professional success did not matter, it was only your family background that decided who and what you were.

But what family can we represent? In my case there is none. For those who have left their dysfunctional families for good, it is extremely difficult , same applies to the ones who come from separated families. For those who have been bought up single mothers are always questioned on the absence of the head in the family.

What have we become??? The unwanted and the outcast!!!! To some extent our loved ones left us and to another extent we left our loved ones.

Our friends and colleagues have now got married and we observe,   we have observed these events as a mute spectator. On different social media sites we get to see uploaded photos of our friends, classmates, college mates getting engaged, getting married, going on a honey moon.and we remain silent observers.

No one thinks about us , no one considers us.

The state of ignominy that we are subjected to is terrible." You have no parents!!! How can I give my daughter to such a person???"You left your own family for good because there were serious problems? And you think that you will have a stable marriage?" " You say that your parents are separated?? And how can I get my daughter married to such a person?"After all we have a family reputation to maintain?"

"What is it like to  be made to feel abnormal in-spite of being normal?"How is it to feel like to be an outcast in-spite of having worked very hard and done your best to fit in.

But we take thing in our stride and continue to live our lives. We have accepted things with stoicism.

And as I finish writing this blog , there are a turn of events happening in this country involving people like us.

Somewhere an educated orphan is looking for his/her soul mate on an online matrimonial site but he is still not getting lucky.Till date he has faced nothing but rejections.Somewhere a man/woman who has left his/her dysfunctional family years ago is is getting ready to meet the parents of his/her loved one thinking  what he/she were going to say if questioned on his/her family background.Somewhere there is a middle aged single mother who is constantly worrying that who will marry her daughter.Some where there is a man who has been neglected , forsaken and abandoned because his/her parents chose to go on separate paths leaving this child alone.Somewhere there is a young single mother who is working very hard to achieve a work life balance and has just put her daughter to sleep wondering whether she will ever have a soul mate who will love her and take care of her. But she knows that in this society a single mother has limited chances of getting married.

And somewhere there is an orphan like me who has given up all hope on the institution called marriage.

So this is the confession , confession that bhaveen sheth, the single Indian man states on behalf of other orphans and members who come from separated and dysfunctional families.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing of for the day , will be back with a lot more

A rising trend of forced bachelorhood in India

My dear single Indian men,

Greetings from Bhaveen Sheth, you may even call be an uncle of solace for you. While searching for topics on single Indian men over the internet, I cam across the following title:

Forced bachelorhood for 4.12 crore men in country as brides go missing

You can read the full article in the below mentioned link

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Forced-bachelorhood-for-4-12-crore-men-in-country-as-brides-go-missing/articleshow/46999330.cms

While it primarily focuses on the state of Uttar Pradesh, one of the worst north Indian badlands, it does reveal an alarming trend across India. More and more men are not getting and married and are forced to live the life of a bachelor.

I would like to share some snippets from the article:

The gap explains why Amit Dwivedi, a 39 year old cardiac surgeon, from city's Gomtinagar area, serving in the Indian Army Medical services has not been able to find a suitable match. "Like most profiles on a matrimony website, caste-minded Dwivedi wants the bride to a perfect person but is unaware that he doesn't have a choice," quips Shrisha Singh, who works against sex-selective abortions in UP.

Wow!!!!! This guy is 39 and still wants someone from his caste.

Match-maker GS Kapoor shared that he comes across unmarried eligible young men born in the early 1970s. "Some of them have in fact compromised over the years on caste and community as well but to no avail. The subtle rise in number of anti-dowry families is more due to 'unavailability of brides' than any consciousness," he said adding, "young men have been forced to live a loner's life because the previous generation was extremely biased towards daughters."

Okay, one more finding,  men have compromised over caste, age and community but no avail!!!

Why is living a loner's life considered to be a curse ? Is it wrong to live a single life and explore new avenues.

I clearly state that these men are to some extent responsible for their own miserable lives. They don't change their mindset. They remain who they are and expect their parents and relatives to find them a soul mate.

But this trend is alarming. Because such men are a threat to the society. These men are the left out or have nots of the Indian society. And unlike the enlightened urban single male who knows how to spend his time in a qualitative manner, these men don't know what to do. They often get weird ideas of rape and molestation as they consider the womenfolk to be their enemies because no one became their wives. And if that were not the case these men spend all their time in watching pornography, drinking alcohol and doing drugs. The sad part is that these men think that marriage and marriage only is a solution to all their problems.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day, will be back with a lot more

A common Indian man's answer to the feminist brigade of India

Open magazine published an article  titled as "An open letter to the Indian man" Its content was filled with misandry. Please see the link below:

http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/voices/an-open-letter-to-the-indian-man

One common Indian man has written a brilliant answer to the write. Please read the same below:


Respected Ma'am (Ms Tishani Doshi),

How are we men going to even be able to HIGHLIGHT our genuine issues & difficulties, when MOST of the feminists, media, governments, etc, accuse us of being misogynists, mansplainers, violation apologists, etc, when we do so?

The first time I ever heard about your name, was when I was in Class XI in school, in one of the chapters of NCERT English textbook, that dealt with your experiences of the journey to the continent of Antarctica. I am also an avid reader of your articles that appear in the Magazine issues of The New Sunday Express publication of The New Indian Express.

I am an ordinary guy who has been researching on gender issues for the past few years, on the media & the internet. I read a lot of newspapers, magazines and books; & also watch TV shows & movies. I have browsed through several misogynist & misandric websites on the internet. I, personally, consider myself to be an ''Egalitarian'' or ''Equalist'', and I genuinely understand that there are both good & bad things in modern feminism movements.

Ma'am, with all due respect, I understand the genuine difficulties that women & girls have faced throughout history. I also understand some of the genuine difficulties that even men & boys have faced throughout history. I don't want to sound myself like a conspiracy theorist, but it is true that our modern world has been under the oppressive control of powerful people, global elites, governments, corporations, etc, since a few hundred years ago, and it still continues to happen.

Yes, although mostly men have been (& somewhat continue to be) in powerful political positions (with some exceptions & uncertain futures), most modern men & boys of this world (particularly those from the middle-class, working-class & poor categories) are NOT in positions of privilege, power, economic richness, leaderships, & so on. Of course, women & girls DESERVE to be properly empowered, helped, funded, resourced & so on, but NOT at the cost of innocent men & boys of this world! Both discriminations AND reverse-discriminations are bad.

Yes, most of the violent crimes such as murders, killings, etc, are usually committed by men. BUT, at the same time, MOST of the victims of violence are also men & boys. Even then, I sincerely hope (& the governments & societies are doing their best also) to empower women & girls in almost all spheres of life & works, including STEM, Sports, Media, Businesses, Politics, Entrepreneurships, Medicine, Healthcare, & so on. Moreover, women & girls should also be protected from sexual issues & violence. But again, NOT at the costs of innocent men & boys of this world. In the above-mentioned fields, the payments should be equal & the representations should be 50:50. It should be considered EQUALLY wrong if women earn MORE or dominate.

However, there is a need to understand that not all men & boys are privileged. Human males are still considered to be disposable, by society & governments, because they don't have wombs, and hence, can't give birth to continue the species. Also, there are SEVERAL fields of highly-paying professions, works & industries, that are heavily female-dominated; where men & boys are drastically under represented & under-paid. Some of them are as follows: Fashion, Modelling, Arts, Culture, Dancing, Glamour, Media, Cosmetics, Anime, Gymnastics, Yoga, Travel, Living, Lifestyles, Advertisements, Commercials, Television Shows, Soap Operas, Pornography, Social Media, Theatre, Performing Arts, & so on!

Moreover, MOST of the visual & vocal media fields are dominated by women & girls; proofs of which are in the newspapers, TV channels, magazines, ads, commercials, social media websites, internet, etc, wherein MOST of the videos, photos, images, etc, are of MOSTLY women & girls. Also, women & girls are viewed, liked, followed, tagged, etc, much, much more than men & boys, which results in MUCH more ads & revenues for female bloggers, writers, authors, uploaders, models, actresses, content producers, & so on.

On top of these things, we have SO MANY women-only & girls-only schools, colleges, scholarships, funding, social programs, NGOs, NPOs, Government facilities, gyms, clubs, bars, sports clubs, special loans, special entrepreneurship grants, financial facilities, taxis, kiosks, rooms, toilets, hotels, travelling & tourism facilities, education programs, fashion shows, modelling ventures, dancing schools, gymnastics schools, yoga centers, & so on. Just by doing simple search on Google, we can see HUGE NUMBERS of search results for female-only facilities, while little or nothing for male-only facilities.

Also, a LOT of feminist people & groups HEAVILY support genocides against human males, male population reductions, castrations, emasculations, abortions of only male fetuses, violence only against men & boys, & so on. I don't want to unnecessarily take names of those people or groups, but they are there. Things like males should be 10% of the human population, to International Castration Day, to #killallmen campaigns on Twitter, Femitheist Divine groups, & so on, are planning doing EXACTLY what radical groups throughout history (like Nazis, fascists, etc), have done.

Since the inception of humankind & human species on this planet, almost ALL the categories of poor, working-class, homeless, diseased, middle-class, disabled, etc, kinds of people (irrespective of gender), were HEAVILY oppressed. Plus, due to lack of modern advancements in sciences & technologies, coupled with heavy influences of religions, myths, superstitions, beliefs, etc, women & girls, ALONG with men and boys, were oppressed, denied rights, abused, harmed, etc, in DIFFERENT ways. Throughout history, MOSTLY men have died fighting wars, building civilizations, developing infrastructures, cities, buildings, electricity, & so on, since CENTURIES, so that our modern & future generations could live comfortably. Throughout history, most societies were slightly more male-dominated & patriarchal, PRIMARILY because human beings had not developed advanced sciences & technologies during those times. And since women & girls were somewhat physically less strong, coupled with their complicated reproductive issues (pregnancy, menstruation, etc), men & boys had to ''get out & do work'' more often. That's why, most of the scientific inventions, discoveries, researches, developments, civilizations, constructions, arts, literature, etc, were done by men. Throughout history, MOSTLY men have died defending our countries' borders, so that the people could be protected & safe enough to live comfortably. Due to lack of advanced sciences & technologies, COUPLED with the facts that women & girls had complicated reproductive systems, men & boys were FORCED to get EDUCATED, work hard, fight wars, sacrifice their lives, PROVIDE for their families & children, and so on, while women & girls were kept almost COMFORTABLE & PROTECTED in their homes, areas, nations, buildings, countries, and so on. Throughout history, almost ALL nations, national icons, goddesses, flags, etc, have been FEMALE, with references to motherlands, female icons, liberty, justice, freedom, laws, etc, almost ALL being related & referenced to MOSTLY females. Throughout history, MOSTLY men & boys have been killed due to murders, suicides, homicides, wars, battles, protests, revolutions, diseases, & so on. Throughout history, MOSTLY men & boys were FORCED to work in inhuman working conditions, doing DANGEROUS jobs in factories, heavy industries, mining, laborious jobs, construction jobs, hazardous chemical jobs, & several more. And they even continue to do so, during these modern times. Throughout history, property was passed through men, because men were NOT considered worthy of EVEN LIVING, without having properties & resources. Throughout history (& even today), ONLY men were (& are) considered to be disposable (due to lack of wombs to continue the species), and therefore, were FORCED to die in wars, sinking ships, doing dangerous & hazardous jobs, etc. Throughout history, ONLY women & girls were considered worthy of love, affection, romance, emotions, etc, and were HEAVILY protected by men & their families. With regards to abortion of female fetuses in patriarchal countries, yes, unfortunately some parts of those things were (& are true), but in the modern world, even MALE FETUSES are also being aborted in several countries. Humans have unlocked advanced scientific technologies, ONLY RECENTLY. THAT IS WHY, women & girls have been empowered properly. Earlier, MOSTLY men were the machines, workers, sufferers, sacrificers, disabled, & so on. Even today, the trends & attitudes towards men & boys have NOT changed AT ALL.

Then you have things like radical feminism, lesbian separatism, etc, that focus ONLY on destroying the lives of men & boys. Moreover, you have almost ALL forms of media, news, books, magazines, newspapers, internet, etc, including SEVERAL internet websites, like The Atlantic, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, Salon, Slate, Mother Jones, Business Insider, BBC, CNN, The Independent, NY times, NY Daily News, Yahoo!, TIME, etc, that preach, nearly EVERY SINGLE DAY, the following kinds of things:-

The End Of Men; Are Fathers Necessary; Are Men Necessary; Are all men rapists after all; The New World Order; Imagine Matriarchy; Girls Outperform boys in schools, colleges & education systems; Women are better leaders; Women are stronger; Women are better CEOs; Women can do everything, but men can't do anything; Women are more natural; Women are the fairer sex; Women are better at multitasking; Women have more efficient brains; Women are the superior sex; Women are more peaceful; Women can't do anything wrong; I bathe in male tears; Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them; Men are the new ball & chain; Women earning more money than men is FAIR; women are better listeners; women can do everything, while men can't do anything; etc, etc, etc, & SO ON. How modern men & boys going to even SURVIVE are based on these kinds of depressing, shameful, derogative & illogical forms of media & social propaganda?

PLUS, male worship of gods is considered to be extremely sexist, BUT the HUGE amounts of female worships of Indian goddesses, mothers, kanya pujans, navrathris, etc, is NOT considered to be sexist AT ALL! Also, on a side note, it's not healthy to play the ''womb privilege card'' by referring to ALL women to first consider themselves before their sons. It's extremely damaging & discriminatory to do that. They should consider both themselves, and their offspring, EQUALLY, provided that they are healthy, law-abiding citizens, of course.

Now, you will call me a misogynist for pointing these out. But, to be honest, I have nothing against women & girls achieving their dreams; earning lots of wealth & resources; getting credited & recognized for their achievements, becoming leaders, & so on. My only concern, is that, we should be empowering ALL people, irrespective of their gender or sociological & economic backgrounds, by moving on from the bad things that have happened in the past, rather than unnecessarily carrying out various forms of REVERSE-DISCRIMINATIONS against innocent men & boys of this world.

Thank you ma'am, for reading this comment.

Marriage and family-hood is a burden dumped on the Indian man

People reading this blog will call me a pessimist and a hater of the Indian society. I give a damn.

The truth is that marriage as an Institution is dumped upon the Indian man. If Indian women are forced into matrimony, so are Indian men.While women openly cry on their miserable conditions, men swallow it with stoicism and go on living their lives and doing their work.

In the Indian society before a man is able to prove his worth professionally, he is tied with the shackles of marriage.It is his biological age and not his emotional maturity that determines marriage.

Thus begins a vicious cycle. Marriage, wife, children, family and problems.The liberated class may state that marriage is now being postponed by men and many men are getting married in the later years of their lives.Please spare me the rhetoric. the above statement applies to the globe trotting  rich and upper middle class Indians.They don't count as a majority, they are best treated as outliers.

Majority men in India rarely explore themselves.By the time they are 25 years old , a frantic search for a beautiful, good looking bride starts.Parents and relatives don't even give a thought at the son's career or future growth.Many men have still not gained the emotional maturity required to handle the responsibilities of a married life.Many have just recently taken up their first step in their careers.There are a lot of uncertainties lying ahead.One needs to establish a firm grip over his job and career.But in a society that lives on fake happiness, rationality and pragmatism has always become a casualty.A man with practical thoughts is considered to be a fool and dismissed as a cynic.

HUM KYAA CHAHTE HAI!! AZAADI !!!!!!!

HUM KYAA CHAHTE HAI , AZAADI, AZAADI, AZAADI!!!!! WHAT WE WANT IS FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM!!!!!!!!

This was the slogan used by the Kashimiris in the late 80's and the 90's when they wanted freedom from India. This slogan is still  active in the Kashmir valley even today.

It may not have any meaning for the majority of the mainland Indian citizens like us, but for many Indian men it is a statement calling for freedom and liberation from the bonds of the Indian society , from the shackles of patriarchy.

Yes,  many Indian men too want AZAADI, not the AZAADI that the rich urban Indian kids have but the AZAADI to live your live on your own terms.

We want AZAADI. 

AZAADI from the bullshit double standards of the Indian society.

AZAADI to live a single Independent life.

AZAADI from being a provider and caretaker.

AZAADI from the unnecessary responsibilities put on our shoulders just because we are men.

AZAADI to choose the career and professions that we want.

AZAADI to be single or get married

AZAADI to marry the woman of our choice.

AZAADI to relocate to a place where we feel comfortable.

AZAADI to do what we want, when we want and how we want.

AZAADI to have multiple partners in our lives.

AZAADI of not having to carry the family name.

AZAADI from the anti-male and female biased laws in this country.

AZAADI from being the walking stick of the elderly.

AZAADI from the constant criticisms that we face because of the way we live.

AZAADI from the taunts and emotional abused we face at the hands of the Indian women.

AZAADI to go to a sex worker/prostitute without facing a backlash.

AZAADI to travel solo.

AZAADI to  splurge on ourselves without feeling guilty.

AZAADI to pursue our hobbies and interests.

AZAADI to love and be loved without terms and conditions.

AZAADI from being the beast of burden.

We the Indian men also want this AZAADI/ FREEDOM. I, Bhaveen Sheth openly protests at the Indian society that put restrictions on the freedom of Indian men. I, Bhaveen Sheth openly protests and put it down in writing.

Being Self Centered does not mean being selfish

Bhaveen Sheth, the single Indian man clarifies on being self centered

As the single Indian male,I,  Bhaveen Sheth is often accused of being a selfish person.My critics have stated that I am self obsessed narcissist who just wants to live for himself. Some of my detractors have criticized me for being an irresponsible self indulgent person who wants to run away form the challenges of life rather than facing them head on.

WHY???? Well because I am now in my early 30's and unmarried, that's why???

So here I voice my opinion , not only for myself but for many single Indian men who are in their 30's and are not intending to get married.

There is a big difference in being selfish and being self centered.What I fail to understand is why does the Indian society put so much emphasis on getting married and associating this (un)holy institution with being a responsible person!!!!

Do married Indian men play the role of a responsible husband and father???? I seriously have my doubts?????

So why are we single Indian men labelled as selfish just because we do not want to share our lives with a woman???

A year after I deleted all my online matrimonial profiles

On 8th of March 2014 (last year) , I deleted all my online matrimonial profiles. It was certainly an eventful day to take such a step (International Women's day)

Growing up in my 20's, like every other single Indian man, I too had dreams of getting married some day. Having no proper family background and no relatives to stand or speak on my behalf, I created my profile on different online matrimonial sites that had sprung up over the last decade. What followed was a roller coaster ride of nothing but disappointment and dejection. I will mention my experiences on subsequent blogposts.

Later after a lot of soul searching I finally realized that I was not marriage material. I decided to give up my search for a soul mate and deleted all my matrimonial profiles.

A years after deleting the same, I would like to write down my observations below:

No false hopes and no bitter disappointments

Every expression of matrimony on profile raised a sense of false hope. There were times when I used to feel that this was the person made for me. Little did I realize that these women or their parents were checking me out as a potential candidate that might meet their requirements or expectations. Talks with some girls did give me a sense of fale hope and elation only to be hit by a bitter sense of disappointment when I got rejected. I started feeling that I had joined the category of the dejected and the rejected.

After deleting my profiles, I have never had such negative feelings because there were no rejections and no disappointments.

The checklist for a sensationally satisfied single Indian man

Making your own personal schedule and coming and going as you please.

To cook what you like and eat when you choose.

To travel across the length and breadth of this country.

To live peacefully in a modest apartment registered in your name.

To listen to the music of your choice.

To catch up with your long lost friends when you desire.

Provide all kinds of pleasures to yourself, sexual or otherwise.

Not having anyone to argue with.

Feeling emotionally safer in being solo.

Not having to give up on all that growth and change that you have experienced over the years.

To celebrate the person that you have become and not wanting to loose him.

To have no worries of being emotionally abused.

To flirt without repercussion.

To have pretty low maintenance and quality lifestyle.

To keep yourself entertained at all time.

To avoid having an emotional roller coaster ride that many married couples go through.

To accept the fact, sometimes with happiness and sometimes with stoicism, that with or without a partner life is great.