We Indians are a strange lot. We have altogether a different definition for celebrating success.We include all vices in our celebrations. We buy unwanted electronic gadgets, expensive three or five bedroom hall kitchen flats, big cars etc. etc.We celebrate by eating junk food that has been cooked in excess of oil, butter and cheese. As Indians , we don't care.
So why show concern when it comes to marriage.All Indian men who are successful want one thing:that beautiful Indian woman. You know, the fair skinned, well rounded, sweet taking girl. In India, beautiful women are spoils of the war who are to be taken by winners.
Getting married to that beautiful Indian woman is considered a sign of success. That's what we all think.
To all the single Indian men reading this blog post, I request you reconsider your decision, in case you too are harboring dreams of getting married to a beautiful woman.You may be earning that coveted five/six figure salary, you may have that enviable job with a big MNC. I congratulate you on your achievements.
The biggest mistake all Indian men make is in their marriages. They think that they are entitled to have a beautiful women as their wives.They feel that with all their success they deserve one. This is one cardinal mistake many Indian men make which later ruins their lives.
Talking from a man's perspective, many Indian men are still not mature. They may have good academic credentials and well paying jobs, but that does not make them complete men. Many men have never lived alone, all by themselves, never traveled outside the confines of their comfort zones. Some Indian men in spite of all their laurels have a poor social quotient i.e. they can't even have a decent conversation with anyone.They hardly take care of themselves, many have poor body hygiene.Other than having knowledge and skills at work, their life skills are poor.If left on their own they can't cook, clean, do laundry or take care of themselves.Many Indian men have no hobbies or any other form of creative engagements. These men have hardly dated a woman. Their interaction with women is quite limited and that too only at the workplace. In short many of these so called successful Indian men have never grown up. They are trying to fulfill that incomplete teen fantasy of having an eye candy girlfriend, something that these men never had. In short many single Indian men are desperately waiting to get laid with a beautiful woman, something that only the institution of marriage will allow.
And now I look from the feminine perspective. If truth be told , much to the acrimony of Indian feminists, many of these fair skinned beautiful Indian women are mediocre and dumb headed. I said many and not all Indian women.Not being judgmental but these girls know that they are beautiful and will use their charms to suit their requirements.They make men dance as per their tunes. They hold mediocre academic qualifications and even if they get a job, they don't see it as a long term career:it is merely to pass some time till they find a rich well settled groom whom they will marry. Job is just another source of income to meet their expenses.These women are quite ambitious, not in terms of self-empowerment or career development, but in terms of acquisition of materialistic things. Majority of these fair skinned beauties come from Tier 2 and Tier 3 cities and small towns of India.In these places even today gender based discrimination is rampant. These women are deprived of many things that today's modern middle class girls living in metros are entitled to.The only way to get what they want is to get married to some well settled man. It is the only path of liberation from the shackles of bondage within their own families. No wonder they readily accept a marriage proposal from a guy who is well settled in a big city , earning a good salary. That is all that matters for them and will not mind if her future husband is pathetic.
Post marriage, it is these fair skinned beautiful wives who have an upper hand in the marriage. The husbands go running around fulfilling their desires. These women are good at emotionally abusing their husbands. In my subsequent posts I will be writing on two incidents where in successful Indian husbands committed suicides because of marital discord. Many Indian men give in to the demands of their wives because they don't want to loose such beautiful women. In case if such a beautiful wife walks out on them , it is the husband who will become the laughing stock of the society and not to mention all kinds of cases starting from dowry harassment to domestic violence the man's entire family will face when she files for a divorce.
For may readers I may sound like a pessimist. Problem is that people don't want to accept reality, forget facing it. My advice to may single Indian men of a marriageable age is that they should develop themselves, advance on their career fronts, meet new women, travel alone across India, develop self confidence, learn important life skills. I say that men should find someone who adores and respects them. Go for a woman who is mature, hard working and has a career of her own. Go for someone who will stick with you during difficult times and not throw unnecessary tantrums and resort to emotional abuse.
I hope my words of wisdom will have an effect on my readers.
Wishing you all the best.
This is Bhaveen Sheth signing out and promise to be back with a lot more.
Bhaveen Sheth
