The single Indian man needs to reclaim his space outside-Bhaveen Sheth-Inidan MGTOW-DOTSIM

The Single Indian man, Bhaveen Sheth has a message for all other fellow single Indian men and fellow MGTOWs " Go outside and reclaim your space"

Yes my dear friend, you ought to reclaim your rightful place. I see so many single Indian men who just go back into their shells and become reclusive. Many single Indian men find solace in their empty homes, they do not wish to face the outside world. Work and groceries are the only thing that pushes the single Indian men to go outside. This is where we need to change.

We have to take ourselves out to watch movies in multiplexes, go and dine in good restaurants, attend some important events and travel across India in a bike or a car.

We just cannot become a recluse because we are single and don't have  a companion. We don't know what the future holds so why compromise our present. Your time won't come back and after soem years you will only have regrets on what you did not do.

This is me in the year 2017 at Gokarna railway station. I had taken a vacation for 10 days in order to explore Gokarana, located in South India, known for its famous beaches.

Take my advice, go outside and reclaim your space.

Bhaveen Sheth

Indian parents not willing to accept the shortcomings of their children:Bhaveen Sheth DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

In a brief post below, the single Indian man writes his thoughts on how Indian parents are unwilling to accept the shortcomings of their children and the impact it has on the children when they become adults.

All parents love their children , no one can deny that. But there is a big difference in being being emotional and practical. With the rise in income , many parents pamper their children and overlook their shortcomings.

Children can have shortcomings in many ways. Some have major behavioural and emotional problems while others are extremely dependent on their parents for each and everything. Life skills is something that we Indians learn late in life. And then there are some children who are plainly dumb, they have a low IQ or some learning difficulty/disability. We all know that kid from the movie "TARE ZAMEEN PAR". Parents  were unwilling to accept that the child was dyslexic. We all had that student in our class who was dumb and got ridiculed both by teachers and classmates.

Pampering, over-protection and denial of a problem sets a difficult path for the child. While parent gives unconditional love to the child , I cannot say the same about the world outside the home. When we go outside our houses and face the real world, the slap of reality hits us. 

I have often seen parents arguing with teachers when something negative is told to them about their son/daughter, fighting with the principal when their child got less marks or did not win a prize in some competition.

As the child grows up, he/she finds it difficult to face certain realities. One may not get admission in the desired college or course, there is a heart break during teenage years and one may not always fit into a particular peer group. All this is part and parcel of life. But a child who is emotionally not strong will find it difficult to deal with such delicate situations.

In the later years of life it is about jobs, salaries, marriage and starting a family. And here I would like to ask one question? Are people prepared to undertake big responsibilities? The answer is no. By failing to address the shortcomings,  an incompetent individual is raised. Today we are seeing the manifestations of the same across India.

People are failing to get suitable employment in spite of being graduates, failing to keep their jobs, there is no passion in  the job as they are doing something they never wanted (they were pushed into it by their parents), marriages are breaking down resulting into divorces and separation. All across we are seeing people who are sad and depressed with their lives.

This does not mean that people are unsuccessful. There are many who are making it big out there and taking up responsibilities. There are people out there who can independently handle things.

Sometimes parents just need to tell the bitter truth to their children, sometimes constructive criticism helps, accepting that something is wrong with the child is much better that denial,taking help from counselor, psychologist or a psychiatrist should not be a taboo. Such steps lead to positive changes in the near future.

What I see is that parents trying to get jobs for their children, parents interfering in the married lives of their children for no reason. It is important to accept that after 21 a child is a fully grown adult and it is time he/she faces the real world and develop coping mechanism. Parents cannot be there all the time.

I hope this post brings some wisdom on parents.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

My Quora post on why I am still single-Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

For a long time I wanted to write an answer to this question but was hesitant. Finally I have picked up the strength to write. Please find my profile below:

Age: 36

Qualification: Dual Masters in Management

Designation: Manager-Human Resources in a reputed Organization

CTC: The best as per industry norms

Then why I am I still single? Because I am an adult orphan! Don;t have parents or any other family support (lost my parents at a young age). A self made man who has achieved everything on his own (not boasting about it). Unfortunately in our society a man , his character and image is defined by by his family background and not by his individuality.

Most of my late teens and 20’s have been spent on getting a decent education and building a career. I started looking out for marriage in my late 20’s but it never materialized. I have shared by own experiences on finding a suitable match on matrimonial websites. You can search my answer by going through my profile.

Society does not consider me as a marriage material as I am an adult orphan. With no family background, no one would consider me, certainly not the people who state they come form a decent, respectable and reputed families and are equally looking for guys belonging from a respectable family. The moment people realize that I have no family background, they back out. In my case to cut the long story short, due to family conflicts my extended family does not want to support me. I guess over the years we have become distant and drifted apart.

PRAGMATIC AND STOICAL ATTITUDE

At 19 when a major tragedy occurs in someones life, he/she has to mature overnight and take responsibilities.The same happened with me. Over the years I have developed an attitude towards life filled with pragmatic stoicism. Some people find my behavior to be negative, cynical and pessimistic which is not the case. There is nothing wrong is being positive but one can certainly not live in a Utopian world filled with fantasy. Unfortunately I come across a majority that is still living in the world of Bollywood films.

At 36, I myself don’t have any high expectations form a future partner. I just want a simple homely woman who can be by companion cum best friend. My demands are normal. I don’t expect any dowry or a lavish wedding ceremony, just a court marriage or marriage in a temple. Having a middle class mentality , I can provide a comfortable living to my spouse.

I am blunt and straight forward to the point when I state my expectations to potential interests. In a world filled with people who speak sweet and sugar coated lies, my blunt reality often sounds acerbic.

I refuse to compromise on certain things when it comes to marriage. I don’t prefer divorcees, single mothers and left over women (women whom no one wants to marry). Considering my own background some people have told me that I should have an open mind and broaden my options. Why? I am not a divorcee. I am not a single father. I am not a left over man. I don’t want to marry a woman who is desperate just because her biological clock is ticking or there is a peer/society pressure one her to get married.

Being an adult orphan, I am often taken for granted. There are some families who just want to dump their daughters/sisters on me and wash away their responsibilities. Yes there are such people and they exist on both sides (males and females). A woman post 30 not able to get married even after repeated efforts does bring frustrations on the family.

I often get referred to divorcees.Now I don’t have a problem with that but the cautious person within me makes me ask the female divorce and her parents that they show me the copy of the divorce decree from her first marriage. And then it is BINGO! They back out. Some find it offensive that I asked for a divorce decree. Now in times of false dowry and domestic violence cases filled by our empowered women, I tread a cautious path. And then most of the divorcees that I have met seem to be a depressed and dejected lot. Looks like they have still not come out of their divorce.

I chose not to marry a single mother no matter how good she may be. I have no interest in playing the role of a step father or being a financial support system cum ATM card for THE PROUD SINGLE MOTHER. Seems like these single moms only want a man with no children. They won’t marry a single father or a elder man. The last thing I want is to have a step child treat me like an unwanted piece of trash,

I strongly refuse to play by the rules of the girl and her parents. Some people think that they can mold/change me so that I live my life as my their terms and conditions and meet their expectations. I don’t entertain unwanted and unsolicited advice on how I should change my lifestyle just because it suits the requirement of the girl and her parents.

I don’t understand why I should relocate to the girl’s hometown. WHY? As per the Indian custom , it is the girl who should be relocating to the husband’s place and not vice versa. I am not aiming for a career oriented woman who wants to climb the corporate ladder or is in the IT industry hence finds it difficult to relocate. A woman doing a normal job can always find a new one a new place or she can chose not to work. Now if some parents are so concerned about their daughter’s safety (unwilling to relocate), then they should consider a man from their city itself.

At 36, I am a mature adult and prefer to speak to a woman above 30 in a one to one conversation. But that does not happen. In 90 percent of the cases, it is either the parents of siblings who converse with me.If after crossing 30 a woman is not confident to initiate a conversation what is the point? It seems that all these single independent confident women develop some sort of cold feet. Even if the daughter is 32–35 years old her parents will talk to you as if she was a 20 year old novice girl. Seriously!!!! C’mon dude! Accept the fact that your daughter is a grown up mature women and not a little girl anymore.

Being an independent self made man, I do expect an woman with an independent thinking mature enough to take her own life decisions and is street smart. This does not mean that one should be highly educated as I have come across such highly educated women who are jobless dumb retards.I am yet to come across a strong willed woman who has a humble feminine grace. Women often complain that they come across 30 plus Indian men who are immature, childish, pampered mamma’s boys but take it from me there are equally the same number of thirty plus women who still behave like teenagers living in a fantasy world, spoilt and pampered daddy’s princesses who cannot face the challenges of real life.

I don’t believe in hookups, affairs and one night stands. I am not a playboy or a Casanova. I don;t believe in chasing young girls. I can;t develop physical intimacy with woman unless I have a strong emotional connection with her.

At 36 I am still a virgin and not embarrassed about it. Some men advise me to visit a brothel or go to to Thailand for sex tourism. Indian brothels are filthy and there is a high chance of getting infected with STDs. I don’t believe in wasting my hard of money on such things.

I don’t own a property and am currently living on rent. Marriage alliances only wants a guy who has his own apartment. I fail to understand this logic. Living on rent is far more cheaper than buying a flat that adds a monthly burden of EMI’s. I intend to buy a flat when I decide to shift to a place when I feel I can spend the rest of my life, Living in a rented apartment is not a disgrace.

I have the personality of a sigma male. While I don’t have a dominating nature, I believe that in a relationship the man should have an upper hand.This does not mean that the woman should be subdued. Many important decisions can be taken through joint consensus. I don’t like being dominated or being taken for granted.I can’t be like today’s beta Indian husbands who suck up to their wives and play the role of a second fiddle/cum pet dog to their wives, they typical manginas.

So this is why I am single and believe me , I am not alone or lonely because for the last 12 years I have have the support of this woman (pic below)

She came in my life as a friend and has now become my sister, mentor, mother, parent and guardian angel. She has played a crucial role in my growth and development. She represents on my behalf as a family member and not only her, her husband , sister and parents collectively play the role of a family.

Sadly our narrow minded society does not understand or accept this.People fail to see that there is something beyond blood/family relations.Bonds of friendship are stronger than blood relations.People don’t understand the concept of foster families and I don’t need to explain myself.

Mind you, this is not a rant of frustration or a desperate cry to seek sympathy or validation from anyone.

And if there is any like minded person who wishes to associate with me, please feel free to message me.

Regards,

Bhaveen Sheth

Inspirational videos on living a meaningful single life: Bhaveen Sheth-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man and Indian MGTOW would like to share two inspiring videos that he come across on you tube. Hope you will like it:

I hope you would have found these vidoes inspiring.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

For the Indian man, it is education that crushes his child hood and Marriage that crushes his adulthood-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

A few days back I was reading a book where the author writes on the stress that Indian students face related to examinations , courtesy, our education system and high expectations of Indian parents. I thought over and realized how many Indian men loose the best years of their lives just by studying and rote learning. The age where one has to explore and learn new skills is spent on books. A typical day starts with school, coaching classes and studies at home. Where is the time for hobbies, sports, explorations and life skills?

Late teens and early 20's is all about slogging at colleges for assignments, marks, grades and GPA's and later its is about  placements,jobs and salaries. I mean when we reach 30 and look back, what is it that we have done? Do we have any hobbies? Do we have life skills? Hell , we can't even replace the punctured tyre of our two wheeler or can't even install a new ceiling fan? Have we travelled and done solo back packing anywhere? No!! Not even in India.

And then we as Indian men get married at the right age and after 2 years have a child. Life goes for a toss. It is office and home. Weekends are about going to D Mart/Big Bazaar and Malls or multiplexes. It is home loans, car loans and EMI's.

This is where marriage crushes your adult life. All those dreams and ambitions you had after completing your post graduation and on joining your first job just got fizzled out. I am not saying that marriage is a bad institution. But my point is that as Indian men , we should learn to experience life before tying the knot.

I have seen many married people having regrets on things that they wished for and wanted but  never happened due to the responsibilities that came with marriage.

Hence I write this blogpsot  that  if education destroys childhood then marriage destroys adulthood for men at least in India.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

Sometimes they forget that we too are human beings-Bhaveen Sheth-Indian MGTOW

Single Indian men are invisible creatures, they are forgotten and forsaken. No one barring a few have any interest in them. The society does not even consider them as Humans.People forget that we are single due to our circumstances or our own lifestyle choices. There are men who have gone through bitter separations and now wish to have no more of married life, there are men who have walked out of their dysfunctional families and have no one they can relate to and then there are men who are Adult Orphans having no one in this world.

However we too are human beings and we also have feelings,emotions, desires, hopes, hobbies and most important the right to dignified living. Why then are we ridiculed, taunted and put down because of our status?Why does the society shut its door on us and why are we isolated?

There are no definitive answers to what I have asked but the majority should understand that we too are humans and we have an equal right to live and enjoy our lives. The majority of the married folks don't understand, they cannot be empathetic. We are a society where everyone by default follows the rules and by rules it also means that your get married and settle down. The married majority looks upon us the single minority with some sort of prejudice and grudge.

And I say that we too are humans , we are also someone's children just like you are. We too are mortals who are vulnerable and who have made mistakes. We have gone through difficult times and come out of it.

In today's era of  militant and toxic feminism, misandry and gynocentrism, we have to be careful, we have to watch our backs. The women no longer have that grace and feminine values that a man looks for in a woman.The demands and expectations of the Indian women and their parents have made marriage to be extremely difficult. The humiliating experiences faced by many Indian men during matrimonial meets makes them question the very institution of marriage. This sacred institution is now reduced to nothing but materialistic demands made up of a 3 BHK apartment, annual foreign vacations, 1 luxurious car, evening dine outs and god knows what. As Indian men we are nothing but  providers and dispensable ATM cards.

And then you have men with no proper backgrounds, men who have walked away from their dysfunctional families or men who are orphans, these category of men who don't stand a chance of ever getting married because of their family backgrounds. I myself being an Adult Orphan have experienced first hand at the ill treatment of the society. I have no grudge or complaints, I just want to live my life.

There are many Indian men across India who are single by choice, many of them have adopted the MGTOW philosophy, They have nothing to do with marriage or society, these men are making the best to their lives, including me. We read, eat out , watch movies , take vacations, travel, pursue our hobbies and some even have short term flings. We are just living our lives. But then that is where the majority married folks have a problem. They can't see us doing all such things.

Time and again we are told that we are being selfish. Is it selfish to enjoy? Seriously dude! You are so prejudiced. Just thank us for whatever we do, at-least we don't break the law. We are not like those single Haryanvi men who are loaded with testesterone waiting to rape/molest any girl who comes across them. We are well aware of the gynocentric laws in our country and as decent educated law abiding citizens we keep a safe distance from women.

As Single Indian men we have the right to a dignified life. Our solo status is a not disability and we have the right to do things , simple ordinary things that makes us happy. We don't want to be questioned and we don't need any advice. To each one his own.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Avoid negative, depressed, frustrated and toxic Indian men-BHAVEEN SHETH INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man writes on the need to avoid toxic Indian men who have a negative influence upon you. Generally your behaviour gets shaped by the people around you and your daily interactions. Interactions with toxic Indian men will drain you emotionally and zap your energy. Mentioned below are the categories of Indian men you must avoid:

The frustrated married men:Being happily married is a myth, especially in India.Many married Indian men are frustrated being stuck in a dysfunctional marriage with spouses they hate. If truth be told, marriage is one big responsibility dumped on them due to parental pressure. Indian men are equally not prepared to take up responsibilities that come up with marriage and parenthood.Two years into a marriage leaves them with disillusionment.They are stuck at being a husband, father, husband, son-in-law and adding to their miseries are home loans, care loans, monthly expenditures etc etc. Many Indian men are denied sex by their wives leaving them sexually frustrated. They crib and complain for no reason, they lech upon young girls and talk bullshit and ridiculous things.Most of their conversations revolves around family and children and keep complaining about their dumb boring mediocre lives.Some will even share stories of their frustrated marriages, toxic spouses and dysfunctional marriages. Interactions with these men will leave you depressed and given young wrong picture about marriage.

The divorced men: If marriages are made in heaven then divorces are made in hell at-least in India. The complicated process of getting a divorce in Indian leaves you emotionally drained and financially bankrupt, courtesy, alimony and child support.Divorce scars a man emotionally.Many divorced men are not able to recover completely from their failed marriages. They carry their pasts like an albatross wrapped around their necks.Here are some of their common characteristics: Being aloof, becoming aggressive, extremely patriarchal, hating the women gender are some common characteristics. They have no hobbies or interests outside work. Some start looking for a soul mate immediately after divorce without introspecting what is wrong with them.Any interaction with them will leave you with a feeling that all Indian women are evil and poisonous.

The frustrated single Man: Now this is a sexually frustrated immature man child who has never grown up an wants to get married by hook or by crook.. Chances are that majority of these Indian men belong to the hinterlands of North Indian or what is known as the BIMARU states ( please google the acronym). For them getting married is a one stop solution to all their problems.And for some reason these men are not getting married.They keep on meeting prospective women and keep getting rejected leaving them disillusioned. Other than this they will blame the whole world for their problems.These men have nothing interesting to do in their lives other than their boring jobs, they have no other interests or hobbies.Any interacting with these men with make you feel worthless and you will get the feeling that solo living is indeed a wrong choice.

Life is all about ups and downs and there are 2 sides to everything . There are men who are happily married and then there are men who went through bad divorces, rehabilitated themselves and went on to live a wonderful life.There are men who are single living an adventurous life.. SO please do not limit your boundaries  based on your interaction with a few men especially the toxic ones.There is no need to associated with toxic men. Identify positive men and develop meaningful relationships with them.

Over the years I have realized that the company and social circle you keep can have a tremendous impact on your personality.If you want to have a vibrant and positive personality then you need to interact with the right kind of people.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

Expressing thoughts and feelings through movies

In a short post the single Indian man would like to write his thoughts and feelings on the lives of Indian men, misandry , Gynocentrism and MGTOW PHILOSOPHY. 

Movies are great example showcasing the realities of our society. We get so see everything, right from traditional patriarchy to the rise of the rabid radical third wave feminism. One gets to see how our society has fallen down to low levels. Write ups showcasing movies (both Hollywood and Bollywood) will give a chance to my readers in understanding the underlying themes and taking wisdom from the same.

I hope you will love my upcoming writers.

A heretic in the world of believers and confirmists-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM

In a world filled with believers and conformists, unmarried single men like me  stand out to be seen as heretics,non conformists and apostates. Our problem is that we refuse to confirm to the rules of the society. We chose to live a life of our own cherishing our independence and solitude. 

We are heretics because as single men we are a minority in a society filled with married people having families.Some of us have happily chosen a solo life and we are living it 100 percent. Our happiness stands out and we become a pain for others. Remember those ancient times when kingdoms used to put God above everything and all subjects were expected to rever the almighty God. Those who rejected the god were branded as heretics and persecuted, some kingdoms showed liniecy and banished or exiled the heretics from the kingdom. This is exactly what is happening today.The single Indian men are being seen as heretics and are facing a similar kind of discrimination.

We need to stand up for ourselves and not give in to the demands of the society. Marriage is a second religion in India and everyone is expected to follow it. But I don't. I have no faith in an institution that is purely formed on the platform of materialistic requirements. Yes and like many single Indian men , I too am a heretic,non believer and non conformist.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing of for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth 

Indian MGTOW

When your loved one has a different mind: An insight into India's dysfunctional families-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man takes inspiration from the book "The book of light" authored by Mr.Jerry Pinto and writes as a third person on dysfunctional Indian families.Taking an inspiration from this book and having spoken and interacted with many people coming from dysfunctional families, I write this post to give a real insight into these families and how it affects individuals who are a part of such families.

Family is the basic foundation of the society.Family is the source of our strength.In times of distress we look at our families for support. We share our joys, our birthdays, anniversaries, festivals and other happy occasions.For each and every individual his/her family is an ultimate universe.

But what happens when that very family of yours in not normal?What happens when your loved one hurts and betrays  you? What happens when your family lets you down and disappoints you? What happens when your house becomes a battlefield, a war zone where conflicts are emotionally violent, violent enough to affect you physically and mentally.This is the truth about India's dysfunctional families and toxic loveless marriages.

Family is a revered institution in the Indian society. It is always picture perfect, it is infallible.No one is willing to accept that there can be something wrong with a family.Physical and sexual abuse are often widely spoken and discussed topics in the media. However no one talks about emotional abuse, the abuse that is responsible for multiple problems amongst the victims who are suffering from it. Emotional abuse is witnessed from childhood and goes on till adulthood.

What can you do when your loved one has a different mind?

A father who is frustrated, unhappy, uncaring, unloving, strict, nonreciprocating, having emotional outbursts, prone to substance abuse like alcohol and tobacco. What happens when he seems to be frustrated with his job and marriage? What happens when he has enormous expectations from you? You very well know. There is an absence of a father figure in-spite of having one.The man who happens to be your father ceases to be one.

What happens when your mother shows similar traits like your father? What happens when the person you love the most is strictly dominating you to the extent of  emotionally smothering you.What happens when you realize that your mother is using you as a tool of manipulation against your own father and other family members? What happens when you don't see any compatibility between your parents? You constantly see your parents fighting with each other, your house is never peaceful.

And what if your grandparents were more toxic that your parents?Your grandparents did not love you for reasons you could never understand. You saw your grandparents adding fuel to fire leading to more disagreements between your parents.When things went bad, you saw your grandparents from both the sides coming and fighting with each other.It was one verbal duel to watch. You would ask yourself why did they fight so badly?  Even street dogs never barked and fought so badly! Accusations and counter accusations follow. Each side blames their gods and destinies that why did they get their son/daughter married into such a disgusting family.

The near and far off relatives are no better. Social meetings and gatherings become some sort of a competition where parents boast about their income , careers, children and their achievements.And if you have performed averagely either in school,college or even in your profession, you get lambasted, insulted and ridiculed for no reason. The adults don't get along, jealously, rivalry and hatred are mutual. Social gatherings are just a formality in order to keep the tradition alive,

Then there are your siblings who have gone through a similar situation like yours. The behaviour of your parents has manifested into them. Years go by, you have grown up and things have become worse.Your brother fails to finish his education, if he finishes his education, he fails to get a decent job and if he gets a job, he fails to retain it for more than 6 months.In some cases he goes on substance abuse.He is sad and depressed. Maybe he has ideas of becoming a singer or a movie star and pursues it without result.Maybe he does not want to work and he starts his own business which eventually fails leading to financial debt and additional burden on the family.

Your sister finds it difficult to get married, if she gets married, there is a marital discord with her husband and in-laws.Eventually things don't work out and she gets divorced returning to your home sometimes with a child from her marriage.There are court cases that the family has to battle, dirty linen is washed in public.The taint and stain of the divorce stays on the family. Parents are more depressed than ever. What can they do when they have a jobless son and a divorced daughter sitting at home.And then it is you who is watching all this drama unfold in front of him.

How do your feel being deprived of love, care and affection?You wish you had someone to support you but it does not happen. Maybe you made that special friendship with the opposite gender, maybe you felt that she was your soul mate with whom you could share your entire life.How do you feel when that special woman used you to fulfill her materialistic needs, what do you do when you realized that she only wanted to take advantage of you.For a moment you are shattered, your world of dreams has collapsed. This is another betrayal from a loved one and it hurts.

You look forward to get married and sometimes it works out.Finally things are working in your favor, the marriage is fixed, the ceremony takes place and a  new life begins.After a bliss of one year, the harsh reality sets in like a recurring disease. You realize that your wife and in-laws are emotionally abusive. They carry out the same abuses that your parents and relatives carried out. Things go bad, separation and divorce happens. Your wife and in-laws are hell bent on making your life miserable. A terrible legal battle follows that takes a toll on your health. And once again your are left at the same place where you started from.

As I end this post, I imagine how terribly dysfunctional families affects children in their formative years and shapes their behavior and adult life.When children are deprived of parental care, they grow up with a different personality finding it difficult to connect with others and fit into the society. They build walls around themselves and loneliness becomes a part of their lives. Those who get married give rise to another dysfunctional family.

This is what happens when your loved one is of a different mind.

This is Bhaveen Sheth singing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth 

INDIAN MGTOW

Why do some people never go back to their dysfunctional families after leaving them-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian man talks from the perspective of many Indian men who haveleft their dysfunctional families for good and will never go back to them.I will write on the reasons, the challenges and what holds them back from their own families.

In the Indian society, family is the single most important institution where people find social, emotional and moral support.Fiction and cinema have portrayed the Indian family as the vital source for love, care and affection.The happy Indian family staying together is a ubiquitous thing and everyone dreams of having one.

But what if one does not have that happy family?What if your family consisting of your near and far off relatives are dysfunctional? What if your loved ones are constantly hurting you? What if on any given day your house is filled with melodrama, emotional outbursts and verbal abuses? I guess it is difficult to have one answer to so many complicated questions.

Dysfunctional families in India is something no one wants to discuss. It is a taboo.In a society where parents are equivalent to gods, no criticism can be heard against them. Dysfunctional families are created right from the inception of a marriage.What happens when two individuals who are not emotionally or psychological fit get married? What happens people carrying excessive emotional baggage get married? In India getting married at the right age is of paramount importance, no one looks whether an individual is emotionally capable of handling the challenges associated with a marriage. Indian men who grow up in such dysfunctional families face many challenges.They are denied and deprived of love and affection from the very people who bought them in this world.A small number of men are strong enough to take a decision of walking away from their dysfunctional families.

This moving away does not happen all of a sudden.Once these men enter their teenage years they get to see the world around them that seems to be normal, they meet families who are happy and supportive of their children.Some men are lucky as they get to move out of their homes and go to a new city for the purpose of their education.After the education is over, they take up jobs in metro cities. This  is where they experience true freedom.They finally have a life that seems normal.They meet people who come from normal families and gradually come to a realization of what is wrong in their own homes.

However many Indian men do not give up hope.They take up periodic visits to their homes under the false hopes that one day thing will get normal.This comes as a major disappointment for them.What scenario existed 20 years ago still remains the same:the same fights, the same outbursts and the same old family problem.It seems like nothing has changed in all these years.Additionally many men are seen as disappointments to their own parents. They are not in the profession or the organizations that was expected out of them (comparison with others), their salaries are not in range with what their cousins or neighbor's children are earning.They are still not married or are not getting married to the brides selected by their parents who will fetch them a good dowry.

It is the same old taunts, jibes and criticisms. Nothing had changed in the  past and nothing will change in the future.

When the men realize this, they come to a decision of not going back to their families.Every visit to their dysfunctional families brings distress and depression in their lives.One day you have to make a decision for yourself, your life and your future.So the men decide to stop meeting their dysfunctional families.Relations are maintained over the phone and internet, a glimpse into the other person's life is seen through social media.

People may question my thinking.How can someone leave his parents?Well, sometimes you need to distance yourself from negative and toxic people for your own god.You cannot move ahead in life if you don't shed your emotional baggage.Sometimes it is for a greater good that sane Indian men walk away from their dysfunctional families. The ones who stay back in false hopes and expectations are in for a grave disappointment.The truth is that till one does not take a radical step, a dysfunctional family will reproduce another dysfunctional family and the vicious cycle will keep on being repeated for generations to come.

My writings may have resonated with some Indian men who have had dysfunctional families.If you wish to share your stories in order to spread awareness, then please mail your write ups to me at sheth.bhaveen@gmail.com. Names and identities will be protected.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and I promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaeen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

I started respecting myself-BHAVEEN SHETH DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

Living alone all by yourself at times can have negative effects  on you. In the initial years of my life, I used to suffer from lack of self confidence and had low esteem. I used to be harsh upon myself.

It was also during such times when I used to approach women and their parents for marriage alliances. I just got turned down. My background was enough for them to reject me but somewhere down the line I feel that I approached people with low self confidence and low self esteem. During those years I even approached women who otherwise would find no takers. I remember feeling bad about it. Meeting toxic women is not something you wish , forget having a life time association with them.

But somewhere things changed. About five (5) years ago I eventually decided to give up on marriage and stopped looking for alliances. My profile does exist on a matrimonial sites but it is a blunt representation about myself. The message that I have conveyed to people in my profile is something like this "This is me, loud and clear. You want to accept it ,good otherwise go take a hike.

A lot has changed since I started respecting myself. One thing that I noticed was people around me started respecting me, my esteem and confidence went up. I realized that I am a man of my own making and don't need to justify myself in front of others. I stopped seeking validation from others.

At the age of 36, this is how I look:

I am happy and content with my own life. No longer do I look desperately  forward for a marriage. If someone is interested, they can approach me provided they talk to me decently otherwise I request them to go to hell. My writings on my blog have made me some sort of an inspiration or role model for many single Indian men who are trying to find a meaning in their life and wish to live single. I also write for the Indian  MGTOWs. I thank all my readers and admirers for appreciating me and reading my posts. Somewhere I have realized that I am a change maker and a facilitator in the lives of other people and I know that I can transform their lives for betterment.

My life is no longer dictated by that one single Institution of marriage. If someone respects me and accepts me for what I am, GOOD. I have my own life to life and many goals and dreams to fulfill. I am quite comfortable in my own skin.

To everyone reading this post, please learn to respect yourself, I know it is difficult and can take some years as we are bought up in a society where our own respect and sense of self being comes for the validation of others. But no matter what happens ,work on your self confidence and self esteem.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

I told my friends, well wishers and colleagues to stop seeking any suitable matches for me. Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

I still don't understand why people get so sad when they hear that I am single and not married. For them it seems that an unmarried man is a sad lonely soul who needs some or the other form of companionship. Many advise that I should get married and settle down. They don't know my reality, do they? So I tell them who I really am and they get a shock of their life. Some feel sad and some get overtly  sympathetic. However they still feel that I should get married and I need a companion (as per them), hence they try to find a suitable match for me.

Over the years my friends and well wishers have tried but there has be no positive outcome. In a sort of a charged enthusiasm, my well wishers approach their contacts and spread the word about me. Sometimes they tend to forget what the opposite side is looking for. I appreciate their help and support but in life one needs to be grounded. Every normal family who wants to get their daughter married is looking for a stable man from a DECENT AND RESPECTABLE family.Now what happens when my profile gets shown to them? Majority will reject and a minority will take their chances. I get to feel like a commodity that is to be tried out by some reluctant customer. Over the years I have spoken and even met women and their parents referred by my friends and well wishers. Nothing worked out. The same story got repeated: The guy has no family, how do we trust him?

My friends and well wishers have also been criticized by the women's families whom they approached for me. They have been told that why did they refer me? Some have disclosed this to me, some have not. I know that they have faced embarrassment for referring my profile.

Eventually I have given up on marriage and have clearly told my friends, well wishers and colleagues to stop looking out for matrimonial alliances for me. It will save a lot of time and prevent trouble.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

INDIAN MGTOW

Brace yourself for a lonely life, there is no one coming for us: Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-INDIAN MGTOW

The single Indian male speaks on developing skills and abilities on living a single life as coping all alone as there is no one who is going to come for us.

My heading is very clear . We as the single Indian men who have decided to live alone all by ourselves will have to face challenges and problems all by ourselves, there is no one who will come for us, this is the world we live in.

In my own experience of being alone for so many years , I have realized that life is not easy. There have been many days when I have faced difficult times all by myself. No one was there to share my problems. But age and experience brings wisdom. Initially I used to think that one days someone will come in my life and I will share all my feelings with her, but that did not happen.Marriage never happened and I never found my soul mate. Indian society has shown me my true position and has clearly told me that its has no place for people like me.I have made a promise to myself that I will never depend on anyone for emotional support or solace.

Gradually I have developed my own support system. As single Indian men, we are going to face many difficult phases in out lives. My advice to all my single Indian male friends is to to behave rationally during such moments, never make an impulsive decision. Always look at the larger picture. Never loose focus on your dreams, goals and ambitions. Get creative with your life. Start reading, make meaningful relationships with other people, exercise every day.

There are many years ahead of us, follow the MGTOW philosophy. We have to become our own support system.Go ahead and face your problems all by yourself.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

Bhaveen Sheth

INDIAN MGTOW

INDIAN MGTOW-Wonderful creative mornings-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM

I prefer to spend my mornings doing something creative like reading or writing. These mornings are mostly with a hot cup of black coffee. Since the year 2013, Kindle e-book reader has become my best companion cum buddy. Having downloaded and stored good books in it, I take the luxury of the early mornings to read renowned books by my favorite authors. Try to spend 2 hours at least on my morning readings as I have to get to work.

This activity gives me a new insight about life, keeps mind engaged and makes my day good. I look forward to return back from my workplace in order to catch up with the reading I had left in the morning.

To sum up reading is highly recommended for single Indian men. Do read in the morning or evening hours. You will transform into a better version of your present self.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH
INDIAN MGTOW

Think a 1000 times before commenting and criticizing a single Indian man-Bhaveen Sheth-DOTSIM-Indian MGTOW

Our society is really strange. It expects people to fall in line and blindly follow all its norms and traditions.Those who don't follow the norms are taunted and criticized.The same happens with single Indian men who choose not to get married.

In an open letter I would like to convey the grievances that the single Indian men have towards the married folks and society.

It seems that passing cheap comments on single Indian men has become a common behavioral trait of the married Indian folks.These people don't even known why some men chose to stay single for their entire lives.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing is a beast of burden in his family who has single handedly taken all responsibilities.He has got his siblings educated and married them off, additionally he is also taking care of his elderly parents.In meeting huge family responsibilities, he sacrificed his own personal life. This is his side of the story, something that married folks never cared to ask understand.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing is still nursing a broken heart, it may have been a case of an unrequited love, it may have been the case of a strong affection between two individuals that never turned into a life long relationship.This man could never get over his past and has decided to remain single.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing is a divorcee/separated individual having undergone pain and torture, courtesy: our police and judicial system that has time and again been biased towards women. A marriage that went sour, a wife that turned toxic, a women that went on a revenge mode  using the laws to make the life of the man and his family miserable. A huge alimony and maintenance was  paid.Emotional trauma associated with the separation of his child was unbearable for this man. A total destruction of marriage dreams that the man had seen. All this has made the man extremely bitter and he has decided never to get married again.

The single Indian man whom you are are criticizing comes from a dysfunctional family. He has faced physical and emotional trauma since his childhood. One fine day he left his dysfunctional family for good and settled in a big city, achieved professional success but could not get married as he did not want to show his dysfunctional family. The great Indian society does not accept a man who does not have a family.

The single Indian man whom you are criticizing has gained wisdom and maturity. he has realized that marriage is not worth it and has decided to go the Indian Mend going their own way (INDIAN MGTOW) route in order to live  a peaceful life minus tension or drama.

So my dear married Indian folks before you make fun of the single Indian man think 1000 times because every single Indian man has a story and I am sure that you don't have the courage to accept, digest or even tolerate his story.

This is Bhaveen Sheth signing off for the day and promise to be back with a lot more.

BHAVEEN SHETH

MGTOW